been in serious relationship for about a year with this girl, bt since when i started work, she is always bringing up an idea to get cash more cash, though she does that stylishly. I am not against giving my gf money, bt just thinking, why all the time, plux we are in a distance relationship

In a long distance relationship and she keep asking for money? Did you promise to marry her?

kinda, we talk about marriage and her mom calls me from time to time. bt anytime my payday is near, she cooks all stories to get money or even more money once she knows i am expecting more cash. she is still a student.(final year), Even when i tell her that i need to do alot of stuffs this months, she still find a way to ask me for more money.

I guess you started the giving, Anyways tell her to limit her demand,

hmmm. guess i started it for real. cos i always tell her about how much i am making and what money is coming. , i do so, cos i want to be very open to her,.

Been open to a greedy chick who always depend of a guy's pocket on your income is like asking my grandma's then local dog to look after a pot  meat.

Bro play this and see what she will do. Tell her you loss your job and see what her reaction will be,  play along with her for a month then you will know what's up.

ok, i told her i will be giving her 10k this month, she lated sent me text that i should increase it to 20k . that she would love to do one business she never thought of b4. last month, she told me they stole all her money in the room. any pay day/time, she brings one tin or the other. the relationship is kinda serious one, cos i speak with her mom almost trice a week. her family likes me. bt this asking asking asking is pissing me off. besides , her parent her well to do

Have have the thought that her mom and family like you because they may be having share of the cake "just saying" Well u have the final decision.

Nothing wrong with giving your girl money but make sure you arent dissatisfying urself ooo.
Inbtwn,sure she knows that a single governmental policy can render one jobless instantly and as such one need to plan for tomoro with the salaries of today ooOO.

y not jst tell her that her money demand is getting too much

Monitor her well pls if u really luv her because distance brings alot of changings and visit when she is not excepting u o!

@poster, must u give her money whenever she ask? You need to man up and say no sometimes. Believe me, she would appreciate you more. Women don't like sissies!!!

Plain and simple;she a ho. Used to have this gal that used to do the same a while back:used to feel bad for her and always hooked her up (shed ask for little amounts;$100 here $500 there).I guess after a while she felt she was taking advantage and she was "entitled"----this is even months after we had broken up and were dating other people. One day I got tired of her persistent begging and was just like "yeah, at the end of the week". When the time came I had a candid talk with her and let her know why I wasn't giving her nothing no more (namely, I'm not ur daddy,sugar-daddy, lover or love-vendor). Typical nija gal, she got upset instead of seeing the awkwardness of her ways.

, alright guys. the funny thing is that, i just started work and she is already billing me . like i am paying her to have *** with her

her family liking you means nothing. if you are talking about marriage with this lady and you can't talk to her about this, then you are already in trouble.
You should tell her your feelings about her constantly asking for money from you ask her what she did for money before you started working. Well maybe dont ask that cause fight go start.

just talk to her about what you are feeling and let her know that you are starting to resent her for it. See what she says and what she does and take it from there

bolof2000:

been in serious relationship for about a year with this girl, bt since when i started work, she is always bringing up an idea to get cash more cash, though she does that stylishly. I am not against giving my gf money, bt just thinking, why all the time, plux we are in a distance relationship

are you hitting da pum; pum; by any chance ?

ZIM DRILL:

are you hitting da pum; pum; by any chance ?

yea through the phone

omega25red:

yea through the phone

poor him

When she asks you for money what do you think she needs it for? Do you think she really needs it (as in, is it necessary) or does she ask, get t, and then spend it on unnecessary things? If she does, then you two need to talk about being fnancially respnonsible. If yyou two wil vbe making a life together in the future,, then its not too early to start learning how not to waste money and how to save some.It isnt easy being a student though so she truly may be needing the financial help. If her family is "well to do" as you said, then maybe instead f turning to you, she could consider turning to her mom. It seems to me like you two need to have a good talk about your concern

AqRiUs Age:

When she asks you for money what do you think she needs it for? Do you think she really needs it (as in, is it necessary) or does she ask, get t, and then spend it on unnecessary things? If she does, then you two need to talk about being fnancially respnonsible. If yyou two wil vbe making a life together in the future,, then its not too early to start learning how not to waste money and how to save some.It isnt easy being a student though so she truly may be needing the financial help. If her family is "well to do" as you said, then maybe instead f turning to you, she could consider turning to her mom. It seems to me like you two need to have a good talk about your concern

even if she needs it she doesnt have to ask all the time, the boyfriend is not there to cover all her problems, roughly she needs to ask for things worth asking for and sometimes you need to find a solution with the boyfriend being asked to chip in

@poster,u hav 2 learn 2 say NO at times, u just started work,y carry unnesceray responsibility, u said her parents r well 2 do-let her be content!!!

thanks EVerybody.i guess i have to learn to say NO! house,plz dont get me wrong, she is a very good girl. might have to sit her down aand talk to her head

LOVE = 2 WAY STREET

What has she done for you lately?

Nigerian culture and American culture are different - I am finding this out. I am dating a Nigerian man - WONDERFUL MAN - since I know very little about anything outside of the U.S. - a whole NEW WORLD that operates totally different has opened up to me through him and his daily life in Nigeria.

We have been dating[b] almost a year[/b] before either one of us gave anything to each other especially in the area of money. Because the subject NEVER CAME UP. He sent me something on 2 different occasions before I sent something to him. He gave to me w/out expecting it to be returned to him and I didn't ask for anything - I was pleasantly surprised. His selflessness prompted me to start sending to him. A year later - now - I love him DEEPLY. There is NOTHING THAT I HAVE that I will withhold from him - his honesty, sincerity and level of being "genuine" - touches me to my core. Because we are long distance we need to REALLY SHOW each other our feelings in different ways since we can't just "reach out and touch" yet.

You are long distance from her - she is in school - you are working. She has parents. You are ONE PERSON - her parents and her are a group - the three of them can collectively care more for her and her needs - then you can or should be doing as your job is relatively new.

Soooo what that she is in school. It's obvious that she has a way to get money - it seems like that way is now you. Since you are giving money to her she can give money to you. By now, she should have made that money talk back to her and doubled it. Her love for you should have found a way to make that happen and encouraged her creativity in this area. You should be receiving money from her as well and/or her financial requests should be diminishing not increasing. It sounds like "you are her job". She is making money off of you and since she is school, let's say that she is smart - she should have used her smarts by now to turn the money around that she has gotten from you to this point.

I give to my man financially and he gives to me financially and not once has he asked me for money and not once have I asked him for money. Because we aren't in it for the MONEY. Now, we make money together. Anything that is particularly ONE-SIDED always ends badly. You are giving, and giving and giving - when does that stop?

What is she giving you? Sex? So what, you can give that to her too, Are you getting a good conversation? You can look in the mirror and talk to yourself for free, I'm sorry, so her mom and her dad speak to you? Are you lonely? There is something called falling in love and falling out of love. If you aren't getting anything from her that is similar to what you are giving to her and she is just a girlfriend, oh no, she would have to go.

This does not sound genuine to me. It sounds like you are allowing yourself to be drained like a water hose with no end in sight and it sounds like the three of them: this girl, her mom and her dad are turning on the faucet - they have your handle on OPEN.

You sound really honest and I highly commend you; God directs us to use wisdom. I totally understand that you don't want to lie. So I can appreciate your not wanting telling them that you lost your job or to have to lie and tell them that you quit your job. Tell her that you can't send anymore money for a while - don't explain - it's your money - don't feel guilty and don't give in. There are beautiful women in Nigeria and all over the planet that will and can readily take her place and shower you with as much as you shower them. With truth, love, money, understanding, sex, beauty. This is a give and take - YOU HAVE ONE LIFE - You have only yourself to blame if you don't live it. Don't be the next man's gossip or the next man's fool. You are worth MORE THAN THAT. If she walks, God will bestow on you another that is worthy of you.

You are not the Bank of America - everyone of us is responsible for OWN SELVES - God loves her and you. If God provided for you and blessed you with a job, he will provide for her too - she is still alive so obviously she has been taking care of herself before you got that job. God did not make you her banker. You are making yourself her banker at an early stage - if you don't slow it down now. You will be her banker forever. Her love for you SHOULD MAKE HER STOP BEGGING especially when you have bills you have to pay with the money YOU MADE.

Test her first. See how long she will be in your life without giving out a dime. You don't have to lie, but tell her you have no money to send and you don't know when in the near future you will have money to send because you need to settle your finances for your future and for her future. See how she reacts.

This is 2010 - THE WORLD IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A RECESSION. Your extra money needs to be going into an account to finance your current and future dreams. IF you pay it all out to her and you have yet to marry and she isn't who you marry - you will be kicking your own a-- up the road and be on NL bitter, angry and broke - talking about ALL WOMEN and HOW DIRTY THEY ARE - we won't even recognize you anymore and most of us will be too reluctant to comment on your posts for fear of getting cursed out.

It's OK to spend some money to go on a date - but forking over cash every payday? Her calculations steadily climbing? I don't think sooooo, just remember when you didn't have that job. Who forked it over to you when you were broke? You better start saving and paying your bills. When you have nothing - what can she give you? You are the one in power here, giving your money away to someone who is unemployed = giving your power away and her demands are increasing every payday? If she loves you and she knows you are working for "the two of you" in the right way - she will understand and not leave you and put the brakes on the begging. If she gets upset - my advice is to dust your feet off and keep walking.

I'm surprised that her Dad didn't pull you to the side and tell you to stop. You have to take care of yourself first in order to take care of everybody else. You need to build up your financial worth and you have no way of doing that - if you are forking it over all the time.

@shy-one. thanks for your detail explanation.i read tru your post and i was like i need to act on it. i need to readjust myself. the last time, she wanted to go nd buy blackberrry, wheni got the job and was telling me that the 5k monthly will be my duty. i told her to chill till i can afford to be doing that. i look bad cos i discorage her from buying the fone. dont get me wrong,this girl is lovely and nice in so many ways, last month, she took it on me and got annoyed for three days when i couldnt send the cash to her. the annoying thins is that, i feel she begins to li this day about what she wants to do with money,

You need to cut down on the money you are giving are and let her know you are saving for both your future. Her reaction (for the next couple of days) will let you know if you should go on with the relationship. You need to confirm if she is simply there for the ride . . or for love.

If you cannot stand your ground now when it comes to your finances, then there is trouble brewing for the future.

young man i'l advise you lyk my younga bruva.Nuthin wrong in spendin a few ends with ur woman but you need to rein her in.What's all this i'm readin?BB & stuff,lyk seriously wtf!Get your act together,tell her as it is.Don't you luv a detached bungalow,a 2009 Infiniti 4WD,Gucci suits,Bruno maggli shoes.Wake up & smell the coffee.
make a budget & stringently keep to it.Otherwise you'd live to regret your actions.I'd hate to say i told you so.

I'M SURE THE BABE MUST BE SINGING "MAGA DON PAY"; GUY RUN FOR UR MONEY OR THIS CHICK WILL RUN U DOWN, ALL SHE NEED DO IS FIND A BIGGER FISH AND U WILL BE HISTORY

@ poster Dude you must be outa your mind.
Has she done anything for you lately?
Are you having sex with her?
Is she mother for you kids?
Then why are you sending her money? You are sending her money and she is getting f*** by some other guys. As for me I'm not spending money on any girl unless I'm married to her, fianceed or she is family (sisters, cousins).

hmmm, now, i am thinking clearly.

1st of all, u don't jst giv cash 2 a girl u r in a distant relationship wit, except u ppl c each othr often. If u hav 2 giv her cash, it shld b 4 a genuine reason, unless she's ur responsibility marriage-wise.