GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

To be honest my wife is a lot more obedient and respectful now than before marriage!

UjuJoan2:


Maybe you treated her badly while you were courting, because you thought she was desperate to hook you. And you were some kind of 'prize'. A wise woman will tolerate your shit just to ensure she doesn't lose all the years she wasted with you, and then once the deal is sealed, it's payback time.

Don't assume every man is passing through the same thing.

If you don't lay a good foundation, your marriage will suffer.

UjuJoan2:


Maybe you treated her badly while you were courting, because you thought she was desperate to hook you. And you were some kind of 'prize'. A wise woman will tolerate your shit just to ensure she doesn't lose all the years she wasted with you, and then once the deal is sealed, it's payback time.

Don't assume every man is passing through the same thing.

If you don't lay a good foundation, your marriage will suffer.

machine gun fire, back to back hahahah truth teller like no other, gbosa for you, the gods have commented.

What an insult to the animals' kingdom. Did you know that Animals are better than women.?

Saintmary:

Get yourself a German shepherd if you need something to tame. Women are not animals. Anyway, some women will stay in such travesties of relationships, they need it.

LilMissFavvy:
Listen, the fact that ladies took time to explain what some ladies do, does not mean they can do same. I in particular also contributed, but that does not mean I would be pressurized to get married by the society or any one. Enough of your mentions, because even if I type till tomorrow, you may not get the point.

There is no point to pass
Going by what i read here today, any man dating older lady is at higher risk of ending in a failed marriage than one dating a younger lady.
Bitterness, toxic mentality, vengeance is all they have got due to societal pressure or failed past relationship

jakandeola:
d problem is DAT some of u take rubbish in relationship in d name of I love u I love u. u refuse to discipline her wen she do bad. a girl Neva cook for u or wash for u as girlfrine u expect she wash as a wife.wat stop u from doing d rite thing. I beat my ex cos she refuse to wash for my mum she dump me. am in pain but I know is for d best cos wat I cant take now I will Neva take in marriage. am happily married now my wife too dicipline her cos of dis issue of lazy.she did not dump me.she stay and change her way.I still deal wit her wwn she do wrong and I sware she is a beta person before as I meet her.

Lmaooo! This one na domestic violence distributor. Wife beater, I hail o.

Lol. Na the real inside life be that.

You never see anything. How do you expect them to continue campaigning after election.

baby124:
Nigerian men are easy to manipulate for marriage. That is why they wonder why women change. If the women show their real selves these hypocrites will not marry them . *Wife Material* they say . Are you a husband material? Wife material kill you there. LMAO. Wife Material = Werey, Mute and Mugu .

Ujujoan said the bitter truth. Sadly. Lots of Nigerian women in long term relationships before marriage are on that table.

But when you start displaying your werey (whatever that means) post-marriage, you'll suffer too, even more than the man you're trying to get back at in most cases, that's like inflicting injury on oneself.

It's very funny how many likes went for comments supporting men Vs those for women

Lack of freedom

Nothing else

CHoccolaTE:


This is a good point please ignore the pin heads critisizing you. Let's be realistic, women are under immense pressure in Nigeria to get married, even when they have not found the person they are compatible with, once they get to a certain age they start hearing insults about their singleness, insults like old cargo, evening newspaper, Shiloh customer, she get bad character that's why she never marry and so on.

These same women desperately bear all manner of rubbish in relationships just to escape pressure and insults and get married. It's not easy for them to just end relationships and go back to searching in old age so she bears crap treatment from the man but then gets married and starts to remember all the maltreatment and starts acting up in marriage.

I don't know of those attacking your post live overseas or if they don't ever leave their houses to know what happens in Nigeria

People like you should pray not to end up with men that reasons like you. believe me, You will pray to be single again...

And why on earth will you get married just to escape pressure in this century? People like you are the reason marriages are suffering these days. You entered with the wrong mentality and mindset.

Even till next world, not everyone will get married. So please behave and find the right person who will cherish you and learn how to forgive too.

Personally, I'm scarred of any woman who finds it too difficult to forgive after 24hrs, not to talk of yrs....

Tolerance and forgiving spirit is needed ,if not you re jus going to crash

Money is a huge factor, never be decieved. Once the funds are in limited supply. Everything follows same trend.

Where did you get your statistics? I can only accept such conclusions if you've got a statistical backup.

Rubbiish:

There is no point to pass
Going by what i read here today, any man dating older lady is at higher risk of ending in a failed marriage than one dating a younger lady.
Bitterness, toxic mentality, vengeance is all they have got due to societal pressure or failed past relationship

MedicH:


So she pretends she's normal during courtship and after marriage bitch starts to behave like an animal. Lol this is funny. Any woman way try this with me eeh i go just put am inside casket weighbill to him papa.

Pray you don't find yourself in dat situation it easy to say shit when you are not into it
I understand OP very well

Rubbiish:

There is no point to pass
Going by what i read here today, any man dating older lady is at higher risk of ending in a failed marriage than one dating a younger lady.
Bitterness, toxic mentality, vengeance is all they have got due to societal pressure or failed past relationship

Most older, never-been-married-before ladies are damaged goods. Anything from 30 up, due diligence is well advised Of course some women end up divorced because of genuine compatibility issues, such women going into marriage again are able to appreciate the amount of work required from both parties. They don't see marriage as the magic pill that solves all their life challenges, but either way men have to apply wisdom before signing the dotted line these days!

frozen70g:


So many factors could be responsible

Marriage itself

Presence of children and their wahala

Absence of children and pressure to give birth

False impression of the guy having money

Control from the man to his wife

The way the man's family welcomed and relate with her

Domestic chores waiting to be done

Stress from house and office work

Lack of interest in everything including sex

The harsh economy and inability to meet up

Lastly, lack of attention and affection from husband

My sister, URE not far from the truth I swear, Just this morning as I was washing outside,I placed my baby in the walker just beside me, only for my hubby to come out and say, Iya Sanusi, (not real name) , go and wear socks and overall for the child, the weather is cold bla bla bla, I asked him what was wrong with his hands, and even if he was ironing, he could have left what he was doing and wear proper clothes for the boy, but na lie, he started boiling telling me if the child falls sick, he won't do anything and nothing must happen to him, I fired back and asked him to shut the hell up, telling him not to tell me what my job responsibilities are as a wife, I told him if he can't wear the clothes he wants for his own child, then he should leave me with my duties while he faces his own....

What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is, truly the pressure that comes with child rearing/ breeding and responsibilities can make a woman/man supposedly change in marriage

Only in Nigeria/Africa do people disallow growth-be it good or bad - they want human to remain the same! Where is your sense of personal pursuit of happiness?
What you called change is she is - doing what makes her happy!
Change for the better, great. Change for the worst, alright as long as you take responsibility for your actions. If anyone can't put up, they move forward in their own pursuit of happiness.

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

yes
women can change at any second once they are convince the move of there life .
that is y they easily Bleep any man that have sweet sweet in thier mouth

UnknownQueen:


My sister, URE not far from the truth I swear, Just this morning as I was washing outside,I placed my baby in the walker just beside me, only for my hubby to come out and say, Iya Sanusi, (not real name) , go and wear socks and overall for the child, the weather is cold bla bla bla, I asked him what was wrong with his hands, and even if he was ironing, he could have left what he was doing and wear proper clothes for the boy, but na lie, he started boiling telling me if the child falls sick, he won't do anything and nothing must happen to him, I fired back and asked him to shut the hell up, telling him not to tell me what my job responsibilities are as a wife, I told him if he can't wear the clothes he wants for his own child, then he should leave me with my duties while he faces his own....

What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is, truly the pressure that comes with child rearing/ breeding and responsibilities can make a woman/man supposedly change in marriage

Exactly, only few men understands that mother's need social help

Do you know that him putting on the socks for his own child because you are busy would have gladened your heart that moment

And there won't be need for any form of argument

UjuJoan2:


I'm not making a case for or justifying anything. I can't remember expressly stating that it was right, did I? I'm just stating a fact and pointing out how people can react to situations.

It might not be a case of consiously nursing a plan, it could just be a reaction to the realisation that staying with him through all that just wasn't worth it to begin with.

Your own example doesn't quite reflect the situation I was describing. In reality have you ever met a man who would marry his cheating fiancee who is not even remorseful? That never happens. But we see women marry their cheating fiances everyday, even when they show no remorse.

The situation is clearly not ideal. If it were, no woman will ever sell herself short. But the society has labelled single women over 30 failures, so women tend to remain in terrible situations just to feel accomplished.

In any case, I don't think cheating in a relationship is 'cheating' in the real sense. If you want someone to be committed to you, marry them . (This is strictly a personal opinion)

You alsi forget the fact that women are tge first to shoot themselves into bad marriages
A lady would marry a man who is financial buoyant and a cheater than a caring and non cheating man and what she will tell herself is after marriage i would frowned at him cheating on me....
After marriage she sees she cant control him then she start crying and playing blind like she never saw it coming...then she Becomes showig terrible attitudes in the marriage
Most bad marriage women see it coming and they mostly enter it for a particular advantage they seein it

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

chai!!! See finishing... are you mad

frozen70g:


Exactly, only few men understands that mother's need social help

Do you know that him putting on the socks for his own child because you are busy would have gladened your heart that moment

And there won't be need for any form of argument

Just only if they realize, but no ego won't allow them, yet they expect you support the home front with your finances when they sometimes are broke..... This night there's no dinner for anybody asides the children... We must have compulsory night fast.

UnknownQueen:


Just only if they realize, but no ego won't allow them, yet they expect you support the home front with your finances when they sometimes are broke..... This night there's no dinner for anybody asides the children... We must have compulsory night fast.

@bold why we?
Simply say there is no dinner for your husband
Your children will eat and i am certain u will also eat. Often times u women are responsible for d cracks in your home

UnknownQueen:


Just only if they realize, but no ego won't allow them, yet they expect you support the home front with your finances when they sometimes are broke..... This night there's no dinner for anybody asides the children... We must have compulsory night fast.

My dear, just do the ones you can do

When they are tensed, they go out and flex and relive themselves

But women, we endure when we are tensed and still face home challenges

They need your financial support at home yet won't help you with domestic work

The moment they can't access your money, they will regard you as being being stubborn just because you are making money

Watch those men that assist their wives at home, they enjoy their wives money more than anybody

The men are full of tricks, if they want to do any project, they will involve the woman and seek her opinion just because 80% of the money is coming from the woman but once a woman has nothing financial to contribute, they will just be informing you of the project and you won't be part of the ideas needed

They just want their wives to be mugu so that they can have their ways in every sides

Women, just be wise as serpent

kentoski:


But when you start displaying your werey (whatever that means) post-marriage, you'll suffer too, even more than the man you're trying to get back at in most cases, that's like inflicting injury on oneself.

Cunny man die, cunny man bury am. A man that desires the impossible must get his wish. Most men are more emotional about their marriages.

Maybe there is something she's not telling her husband, everything in a marriage is all about communication, when there is effective communication, all problems will be settled amicably and no need for partners to change after marriage.

Rubbiish:

@bold why we?
Simply say there is no dinner for your husband
Your children will eat and i am certain u will also eat. Often times u women are responsible for d cracks in your home

What rubbish crack, each time he doesn't drop money to feed, u expect me to use my common sense to support but u will never help me with the house chores with exception to making only Eba dats if I beg u sef

Rubbiish:

There is no point to pass
Going by what i read here today, any man dating older lady is at higher risk of ending in a failed marriage than one dating a younger lady.
Bitterness, toxic mentality, vengeance is all they have got due to societal pressure or failed past relationship

These ladies are funny, aren't they? They shame men who refuse to marry older women yet on this thread they are, unknown to them, indirectly telling us that older women get married due to societal pressures and more often than not these women harbour bitterness and are likely to be vindictive. According to them, these women are likely to make our lives miserable but we have to accept that it is our fault. Nothing is ever a woman's fault.

They are unknowingly dishing us the red pill.

Its very very hard to live with a negroe and not change as a wife. Their wahala is too much.

Sometimes, just when you take a glance at them, they look like the creature in the pic below. How won't one get disgusted and angry?

Like what the Bleep!!!

Once married, they now want to tell you what to do. As per say you all of a sudden became a dimwit.
Once married, she want to control your friends and tell every God given reasons why one of your friends is not good for you.
Once married, the men becomes bad at finance and management. The family will be better off if she handles the finance.
Once married, if you decide to cut back on some of the courtship time expenses. You are a party poopper, a no fun, suffocating and "strangely changed".

Once married, if you decide to help as much as you do to your immediate family and others; you are being gullible, you should concentrate on raising your family but if you fail to extend same fellowship to her parents of siblings, you are "aka-aradite" stingy or outrightly wicked.


Guy just do you, care as much as you can. You can not please women.

frozen70g:


My dear, just do the ones you can do

When they are tensed, they go out and flex and relive themselves

But women, we endure when we are tensed and still face home challenges

They need your financial support at home yet won't help you with domestic work

The moment they can't access your money, they will regard you as being being stubborn just because you are making money

Watch those men that assist their wives at home, they enjoy their wives money more than anybody

The men are full of tricks, if they want to do any project, they will involve the woman and seek her opinion just because 80% of the money is coming from the woman but once a woman has nothing financial to contribute, they will just be informing you of the project and you won't be part of the ideas needed

They just want their wives to be mugu so that they can have their ways in every sides

Women, just be wise as serpent

Did u just say only stubborn, not just stubborn they will also term u as proud and paint the picture of only them footing the house bills to their family, the last time we had an arguement in front of his younger sister, I made her sister realize, he is not the only one responsible for all the assets in the home, he just went inside and started tagging me pride amongst other things...

My dear working, running the house chores with the responsibility of taking care of 2 children ain't easy, sometimes I just want to take a break from the house and ease of the pressure I feel everyday but I can't leave my children

Well as a married man, it comes with sacrifices. One thing about a lot of Nigerian men is that they want to live single whilst being married, and friends can be the major cause of this. Once you are married, as a man you need like minded friends like yourself otherwise you’ll be tempted to do things you’re not supposed to do. It’s vice versa. If you’re not ready for that sacrifice then stay single.

How much money does it take to go out on a date? To take your wife out? But you will be willing to spend that money on a boys night out. Again, marriage is about sacrifice and effort. It takes two to make a marriage work.

As a married man your family (wife and children) expenses comes first before anything else. If you are not aware of this, then stay single. Personally I think a lot of men need marriage counselling before entering the marital institution, because it comes with a lot of sacrifices, responsibilities, endurance and patience that many men are not willing to work on. It is not hard to have a happy home, it is not hard to please your wife. They’re basic fundamental tools that a husband must have. It’s not for the faint hearted, leadership role will always be challenging.

isnovic:
Like what the Bleep!!!

Once married, they now want to tell you what to do. As per say you all of a sudden became a dimwit.
Once married, she want to control your friends and tell every God given reasons why one of your friends is not good for you.
Once married, the men becomes bad at finance and management. The family will be better off if she handles the finance.
Once married, if you decide to cut back on some of the courtship time expenses. You are a party poopper, a no fun, suffocating and "strangely changed".

Once married, if you decide to help as much as you do to your immediate family and others; you are being gullible, you should concentrate on raising your family but if you fail to extend same fellowship to her parents of siblings, you are "aka-aradite" stingy or outrightly wicked.


Guy just do you, care as much as you can. You can not please women.