biggy26:

Good points! I think reality just sets in, so she will now have to adjust.

Caris77:

Lol, wait till you are married. If you treat your wife like a queen, she will reciprocate but otherwise, you will be surprised at what the soft lady you married could transform to.

Rubbiish:

O boy!
So going by majority of the comments by women on this thread, it is safe to say it is very risky to go for older women as they maybe willing to do anything just to get married. Hmm

Wande22:
As if you are watching me

When I wasn't working, she made life a LIVING HELL

Now that I am working (even she knows the nature of my work) she ain't changed

Sometimes, I feel that.... DID I JUST MADE A FVVCKING MISTAKE MARRYING HER


abeg manage this for me

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

UjuJoan2:


I'm honestly not bothered about them, I know how difficult it is for MEN to accept the truth that their actions have direct consequences in the long run. Nigerian men are laden with this 'God complex' and most times it's difficult for them to realize that they will have to be held accountable for their mistakes, just like use mere mortals (women).

Let's take for instance a man who dated a woman for 10 years, probably even dis-virgined her . . at the point when he becomes finally stable he realizes she's not his 'type' and begins to mess around with other women. The will act like they are doing her a favor. . . . The woman, who thinks the odds are already against her will stay and hope he comes around eventually. But it doesn't stop the resentment from building. It doesn't stop the hatred from brewing . . . Eventually when he marries her after dangling marriage around like a carrot, and she realizes the burden of raising his family is actually on her, she sees the enormity of the sacrifices she has to make and realizes he's just not worth it and never earned her, she begins to act up. . . . Actions = Reactions!!! I'm a marriage counselor of sorts and I know what I see/hear on a regular basis.

Same goes for a cheating man . . . Many women will never walk out of a cheating spouse. But if a woman is aware of her husband's indiscretions, there's noting stopping her from doing same. I know the men will want to have my neck for this too, but it's just the truth. Any woman who gladly accepts a cheating husband is definitely cheating herself. I just pity these men who cheat and flaunt it thinking their wives have no option. She may play the docile wife, but who knows what she's also up to.

Untill men learn to respect and treasure women, there will always be dysfunctional marriages.

bukatyne:


True.

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

UjuJoan2:


I'm honestly not bothered about them, I know how difficult it is for MEN to accept the truth that their actions have direct consequences in the long run. Nigerian men are laden with this 'God complex' and most times it's difficult for them to realize that they will have to be held accountable for their mistakes, just like use mere mortals (women).

Let's take for instance a man who dated a woman for 10 years, probably even dis-virgined her . . at the point when he becomes finally stable he realizes she's not his 'type' and begins to mess around with other women. The will act like they are doing her a favor. . . . The woman, who thinks the odds are already against her will stay and hope he comes around eventually. But it doesn't stop the resentment from building. It doesn't stop the hatred from brewing . . . Eventually when he marries her after dangling marriage around like a carrot, and she realizes the burden of raising his family is actually on her, she sees the enormity of the sacrifices she has to make and realizes he's just not worth it and never earned her, she begins to act up. . . . Actions = Reactions!!! I'm a marriage counselor of sorts and I know what I see/hear on a regular basis.

Same goes for a cheating man . . . Many women will never walk out of a cheating spouse. But if a woman is aware of her husband's indiscretions, there's noting stopping her from doing same. I know the men will want to have my neck for this too, but it's just the truth. Any woman who gladly accepts a cheating husband is definitely cheating herself. I just pity these men who cheat and flaunt it thinking their wives have no option. She may play the docile wife, but who knows what she's also up to.

Untill men learn to respect and treasure women, there will always be dysfunctional marriages.

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

CHoccolaTE:


This is a good point please ignore the pin heads critisizing you. Let's be realistic, women are under immense pressure in Nigeria to get married, even when they have not found the person they are compatible with, once they get to a certain age they start hearing insults about their singleness, insults like old cargo, evening newspaper, Shiloh customer, she get bad character that's why she never marry and so on.

These same women desperately bear all manner of rubbish in relationships just to escape pressure and insults and get married. It's not easy for them to just end relationships and go back to searching in old age so she bears crap treatment from the man but then gets married and starts to remember all the maltreatment and starts acting up in marriage.

I don't know of those attacking your post live overseas or if they don't ever leave their houses to know what happens in Nigeria

crackhaus:

You might actually be going about this all wrong, no pun intended.

Shouldn't you be counselling women to grow some cojonés and self-confidence along with a healthy dose of self-esteem, which will stop them from marrying jerks, only to turn around and pay the jerk back after getting married to him?

You're making a case for and glorifying emotional/psychological disorders without knowing it. What else would make a human being choose to stay with another just because they are nursing a plan to hurt them back? This is classic psychopath behavior.

It's like telling a faithful man to forgive and marry his fiancée who has been round the block & back, and when he begins cheating on her after marriage, you probably gonna say 'she had it coming'.
Really?

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

Octopusssy:

Hahahaha! Which research?

You know why I like you ehn?

I like you because you remind me so much of my sibling. He never takes advice or sound counsel, and when the repercussions of his stubbornness come back to bite him in the ass, he is very quick to give every one in the family fat portions of the blame but leaves none for himself. Very selfless somborri

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

TooNoisy:


Oh how I miss the Nairaland Family section. I read some of these posts and I just wonder how some of the people behind these monikers reason. This is not about supporting whatever a woman does because you are a woman but it's simply about being reasonable.

Please read the bolded again. So, if a man is treating a woman badly in a relationship, to the extent that resentment starts building in and the woman now hates the man, you are proposing that she goes ahead to marry that same man that she hates? Did you marry some you hate? So let me summarise your post:

1. A young lady with a bright future should continue dating a man who obviously doesn't love or value her.
2. It gets so bad that she gets fed-up and begins to resents the man and even hates him
3. So with 1 & 2 above, you propose she goes ahead and tries her best to marry the man because of societal pressure or virginity
4. When she gets married, she now begins to act crazy in revenge

What you typed is a joke. Young ladies, if a man is treating you like trash in a relationship, it wouldn't get better in marriage. Marriage is for a lifetime and you don't want to be unhappy in your marriage. Just walk out of the relationship and you will find a better man. There are good men out there who will surely locate you.

TooNoisy:


Oga, don't let these women judge you - I wouldn't. You only opened a thread seeking advise. You can let us know what some of these "new attitudes" are and we can discuss it. They have all just agreed it was your fault. You never said you treated her badly or you cheated on her.

UjuJoan2:


What are you rambling about?

It's so easy for people to make grand statements and assumptions, when they've never been in a bad situation.

Anyway, go back and read my posts, then maybe you'll understand my point.

MedicH:


So she pretends she's normal during courtship and after marriage bitch starts to behave like an animal. Lol this is funny. Any woman way try this with me eeh i go just put am inside casket weighbill to him papa.

LadySarah:
Same As men too.