Octopusssy:

Hahahaha! Which research?

You know why I like you ehn?

I like you because you remind me so much of my sibling. He never takes advice or sound counsel, and when the repercussions of his stubbornness come back to bite him in the ass, he is very quick to give every one in the family fat portions of the blame but leaves none for himself. Very selfless somborri

The guy matter weak me

olabrinks:
Hardship children lack of freedom and too much responsibilities

all upon all this some irresponsible men will still rubish all her efforts. Men dont realise they are the first to change after marriage, you do me i do u.

Lmao

CHoccolaTE:

That one no concern me

Me, I don’t know about you guys ooh, but any girl I am dating. I will make it very clear that DIVORCE is a very big option for me

IamR:
What about the attitudes of husbands to the wives after marriage?

The wives' attitudes change the attitudes of husbands after marriage.

UjuJoan2:


I'm honestly not bothered about them, I know how difficult it is for MEN to accept the truth that their actions have direct consequences in the long run. Nigerian men are laden with this 'God complex' and most times it's difficult for them to realize that they will have to be held accountable for their mistakes, just like use mere mortals (women).

Let's take for instance a man who dated a woman for 10 years, probably even dis-virgined her . . at the point when he becomes finally stable he realizes she's not his 'type' and begins to mess around with other women. The will act like they are doing her a favor. . . . The woman, who thinks the odds are already against her will stay and hope he comes around eventually. But it doesn't stop the resentment from building. It doesn't stop the hatred from brewing . . . Eventually when he marries her after dangling marriage around like a carrot, and she realizes the burden of raising his family is actually on her, she sees the enormity of the sacrifices she has to make and realizes he's just not worth it and never earned her, she begins to act up. . . . Actions = Reactions!!! I'm a marriage counselor of sorts and I know what I see/hear on a regular basis.

Same goes for a cheating man . . . Many women will never walk out of a cheating spouse. But if a woman is aware of her husband's indiscretions, there's noting stopping her from doing same. I know the men will want to have my neck for this too, but it's just the truth. Any woman who gladly accepts a cheating husband is definitely cheating herself. I just pity these men who cheat and flaunt it thinking their wives have no option. She may play the docile wife, but who knows what she's also up to.

Untill men learn to respect and treasure women, there will always be dysfunctional marriages.

They don't want to hear the truth

Do u knw d meaning of 'fellow husband'?

Beat123:
go n marry. When you do treat her right

LadySarah:
Same As men too.

I am a man. We men have the bulk of the blame. We can, and should, do better. The demands on the woman in a marriage are myriad. African society expects the woman to be a housemaid, cook, nanny, errand girl, children tutor, and sex tiger.
A successful marriage has a man who helps his wife. QED.

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

The problem with marriage is that women want the man to change but he remains the same whereas men want their women to remain the same but they change

Prognose:


True.
Men don't need to pretend, especially after having sex with the lady. It's the women who are in their best behaviour until marriage.

And no, you don't have to have mistreated her before she starts to misbehave. They know that if they perform badly pre-marriage you may not pop the magic words "will u marry me". So they behave very well until the wedding is over. Then BOOM. Their real selves pop out.

Your job now is to tame the real woman. Know what you can tolerate and know where to put your foot down. Whatever you allow now you will allow for the rest of your marriage. But then again nobody is perfect. Just know where to draw the line, it happens to everyone. Cheers

Get yourself a German shepherd if you need something to tame. Women are not animals. Anyway, some women will stay in such travesties of relationships, they need it.

Is it applicable to all older ladies? These are the kind of mentions I am supposed to ignore.

Rubbiish:

O boy!
So going by majority of the comments by women on this thread, it is safe to say it is very risky to go for older women as they maybe willing to do anything just to get married. Hmm

olabrinks:
Hardship children lack of freedom and too much responsibilities

You were not taught the use of punctuation marks?

My wife has no work i wash my clothes

colestephan86:

From my findings, one of the sole reason ladies attitude change when in marriage is cos of workload, and I will explain.
When you both were dating , she was in her father's house n possibly have siblings that she share chores with there by not having much to do and so have lots of time to date you and probably spend time with you. But now that she is married to you , you as a typical African man will leave her to do almost everything n stick nak am apako.
My bro with these few point u should understand now why you new wife has changed.

LilMissFavvy:
Is it applicable to all older ladies? These are the kind of mentions I am supposed to ignore.

Please ignore if u can't comprehend it
Didn't u read what u ladies wrote?
That u can do anything to marry a man even if u don't like him just because of societal pressure??
Read please!!!
Which ladies are under societal pressure to get married, YOUNG or OLDER LADIES?

UjuJoan2:


I'm honestly not bothered about them, I know how difficult it is for MEN to accept the truth that their actions have direct consequences in the long run. Nigerian men are laden with this 'God complex' and most times it's difficult for them to realize that they will have to be held accountable for their mistakes, just like use mere mortals (women).

Let's take for instance a man who dated a woman for 10 years, probably even dis-virgined her . . at the point when he becomes finally stable he realizes she's not his 'type' and begins to mess around with other women. The will act like they are doing her a favor. . . . The woman, who thinks the odds are already against her will stay and hope he comes around eventually. But it doesn't stop the resentment from building. It doesn't stop the hatred from brewing . . . Eventually when he marries her after dangling marriage around like a carrot, and she realizes the burden of raising his family is actually on her, she sees the enormity of the sacrifices she has to make and realizes he's just not worth it and never earned her, she begins to act up. . . . Actions = Reactions!!! I'm a marriage counselor of sorts and I know what I see/hear on a regular basis.

Same goes for a cheating man . . . Many women will never walk out of a cheating spouse. But if a woman is aware of her husband's indiscretions, there's noting stopping her from doing same. I know the men will want to have my neck for this too, but it's just the truth. Any woman who gladly accepts a cheating husband is definitely cheating herself. I just pity these men who cheat and flaunt it thinking their wives have no option. She may play the docile wife, but who knows what she's also up to.

Untill men learn to respect and treasure women, there will always be dysfunctional marriages.

Take a bottle of Baron

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

i do but anytime i begin to notice something like that, i change her car to a new one.

Does it apply to all older ladies? That's the simple question, yet you are beating about the bush.

Rubbiish:

Please ignore if u can't comprehend it
Didn't u read what u ladies wrote?
That u can do anything to marry a man even if u don't like him just because of societal pressure??
Read please!!!
Which ladies are under societal pressure to get married, YOUNG or OLDER LADIES?

GreatResearcher:
Fellow husbands in the house, are your wives attitudes while in marriage the same as when the were in courtship? I realized women characters change from almost good to very worst once they get married.

Most tmes we wonder if the women we got married to are they women we dated. What could be the cause of this change in character.

Were the women you dated married to you at the time?

Wande22:


My dear, I want to ask you some questions and I want sincere answers

1. If your husband tells you his salary (or you know) and after appropriating all the appropriate-ables, then he has little to none for himself, what would you do?

2. Let's assume your husband works at Apapa and you are living in Ikorodu. He hasn't been paid and he is flat broke. As a married woman, what are you expected to do

I am waiting

Firstly, that is why woman are help mate and not chop mate. She is meant to be working, nor matter how lil she earns. When situations like the above rises, she should go to her saving and keep the family running til her husband is paid.
2ndly, if after the husband does all he is meant to do but had lil to himself, the wife should still go to her savings and ensure the family keeps running. Marriage is a case of two become one but that only happens when both parties are sincere to each other.

UjuJoan2:


Maybe you treated her badly while you were courting, because you thought she was desperate to hook you. And you were some kind of 'prize'. A wise woman will tolerate your shit just to ensure she doesn't lose all the years she wasted with you, and then once the deal is sealed, it's payback time.

Don't assume every man is passing through the same thing.

If you don't lay a good foundation, your marriage will suffer.

Not disputing your theory completely but a woman that will change for worse will surely do irrespective of how her husband treated her during the courtship and when married. We've seen many women whose husbands treated well and still treating well but just turned into something else few years after marriage. Don't tell me that you don't know any of such.

SPP

Straight people problems

Wande22:


My dear, I want to ask you some questions and I want sincere answers

1. If your husband tells you his salary (or you know) and after appropriating all the appropriate-ables, then he has little to none for himself, what would you do?

2. Let's assume your husband works at Apapa and you are living in Ikorodu. He hasn't been paid and he is flat broke. As a married woman, what are you expected to do

I am waiting

Firstly, that is why women are help mates and not chop mates. She is meant to be working, nor matter how lil she earns. When situations like the above rises, she should go to her saving and keep the family running til her husband is paid.
2ndly, if after the husband does all he is meant to do but had lil to himself, the wife should still go to her savings and ensure the family keeps running. Marriage is a case of two become one but that only happens when both parties are sincere to each other.

Lol

deavicky:
i do but anytime i begin to notice something like that, i change her car a new one.

LilMissFavvy:
Does it apply to all older ladies? That's the simple question, yet you are beating about the bush.

NO
But older ladies
U understand now?

I needed yes or no for my simple question, and you finally answerd it. The rest of what you have typed is out of point.

Rubbiish:

NO
But older ladies
U understand now?

TooNoisy:


Family section!!! Where do you people even come from?

So now it is okay for a woman to marry a man she doesn't love, then she starts misbehaving after marriage and if the man leaves, the woman can go around town boasting of being married before. What kind of people are you guys?

Do you even know there are kids involved here? What do you take marriage for? A train ride you can boast of when you feel like leaving? Like seriously? What caliber of women are typing this rubbish??

Can u change your moniker to Toosensible?
U are making too much sense

Both my wife and evry woman out there change once they achieve their selfish aim.

nlPoster:


Were the women you dated married to you at the time?

GreatResearcher:
Both my wife and evry woman out there change once they achieve their selfish aim.

Too bad for you then.

Although, you dont exactly come across as marriage material, you sound immature and not quite there.

LilMissFavvy:
I needed yes or no for my simple question, and you finally it. The rest of what you have typed is out of point.

Whether it is all older ladies or just one, the point is going by what u ladies posted above, it is risky to have anything to do with older ladies desperate for marriage because of societal pressure.
Not everywhere in Borno state is facing insurgency, but nysc don't post graduate there
Sometimes i wonder how u ladies think??
Read toonoisy post and see how any sane woman should reason

[quote author=jakandeola post=83683713]if ur guy or girl did sometin u hate tell dem. dont pretend and lie as if all is well is Hippocrates. if u cant cook confess to hubby if u hate MouthAction tell hubby.guy if u smoke or drink tell ur wife. tell ur wife d kind food u like tell hubby d kind of friend u want him to stop move with and vice versal.I choose my wife friend and she choose mine/quote]what a prison u living in.

Listen, the fact that ladies took time to explain what some ladies do, does not mean they can do same. I in particular also contributed, but that does not mean I would be pressurized to get married by the society or any one. Enough of your mentions, because even if I type till tomorrow, you may not get the point.

Rubbiish:

Whether it is all older ladies or just one, the point is going by what u ladies posted above, it is risky to have anything to do with older ladies desperate for marriage because of societal pressure.
Not everywhere in Borno state is facing insurgency, but nysc don't post graduate there
Sometimes i wonder how u ladies think??
Read toonoisy post and see how any sane woman should reason

dandollaz:

Men don't change but women brings out beast in them when they start misbehaving.

ok