Orton1_0:

Dude, way back here, he was a well-to-do-spare part dealer and she was a born-again-housewife doing all the chores.
So you can imagine the twist of fate.

dayokanu:

Waiting with her is dangerous, A woman who is hell bent on destroying you, What makes you think she wont provoke you into hitting her and land him in jail

MRbrownJAY:

^^^^ well said!

btw Orton
is there anything wrong with doing the groceries or picking up the kids?! what about the lawn?

MRbrownJAY:

well pls tell us what they are doing now over there. . . . . . . . . . . .
if he is unemployed then he SHOULD do these things while wifey works her 9 to 5.

MRbrownJAY:

^^^^^are you saying that if she works but hubby is unemployed she should STILL do all what he mentionned in the name of Nigerian mentality?!

190:

Dayokanu do you drink beer,

eku_bear:

I understand it can be dangerous to marry a poor woman from the bush somewhere, but you should even avoid the ones in Nigeria whose families are financially comfortable?  

I don't mind marrying someone here in the US, and in all likelihood that is what will end up happening. But of course would prefer to have my options as open as possible.

Bluhazel:

@ Dayokanu
But him leaving all that he's worked for is not the best option. As for him going to jail, that why i asked him to stay calm and lie still.

I drink beer on weekends

eku_bear:

@Jenifa: Hrm. There are lots of crazy insane, feminist type of women in the Western world, women who want to emasculate their dudes.

But there are lots of traditional type of women too. The type who will work a 9-5 and still want to come home and cook for their man, etc. The type that aren't going to act out of control just because they earn a lot of money (or more money than you), are lawyers, doctors, etc.

I don't necessarily want a housegirl, but I do want a traditionalist type of wife rather than some feminist. Or a woman who will turn into a radical feminist if you run out of cash. . .

Orton1_0:

Common bro, such things shatters a 'real' man's self esteem.
By-the-way, the kids are very well attached to her, and no court will give a jobless 55-year old man custody of three kids over a 5-figure-salary-earning Mum.

Na them sabi. Who send am??.

Jenifa_:


YUP. they will even quote the bible for you and tell you it is Nigerian tradition. women must be submissive even if her husband is unemployed or making less.
even couples who work equal hours. the wife is expected to come back home and do all the housework and child care. This is even more tolerable and many nigerian women compromise this. but still, i'm sure if you piss such a woman off, she is likely to fight back because she's independent and has rights.

Jenifa_:


I have male professors that leave class early because "it's their turn to pick up the kids from school" I wish more Nigerian men were like that. It will be so much easier on these poor Nigerian women.

dayokanu:

^^ You have to deal with the challenges of marrying someone outside your culture as well.

I know a Naija girl who used to date a white guy. The guy didnt just understand why she had to send money home, Why her younger sister should come stay with her, And many other things make i no too yarn

MRbrownJAY:

i understand about the cooking part but for the rest, i still dont understand why a jobless FATHER cannot pick up his kids from the day care? do the grocery or mow the lawn? is THAT written in the bible or is that part of what women SHOULD do?!
any smart person would know that you can find a positive verse for any silly thing in the bible even RA.PE, PEDOPHILIA, FORNICATION, PHYSICAL ABUSE, MURDER, INC.EST etc etc etc

Orton1_0:

Your Prof. must be a gentleman. And the wife must be very lucky. I just don't see meself doing dat, I'll be labelled a woman wrapper.lol

Jenifa_:

If i work 9-5 and come back home to do all the housework + childcare (which is a full time job on it's own right), then I most certainly expect compensation in the form of vacations, nice car, paying less share of bills etc.

to me, marrying a white guy is easier because these men do not have problems with cooking, doing dishes or babysitting. helping out in the house is not something that will crush their "ego" because it's something their father probably does. so it's part of their culture.
I have male professors that leave class early because "it's their turn to pick up the kids from school" I wish more Nigerian men were like that. It will be so much easier on these poor Nigerian women.

eku_bear:

I don't mind the childcare stuff. I just hate housework (unless it is fixing broken things.) Dishes, laundry, cooking. . . I hate that stuff. Though I enjoy cooking with others, just not by myself.

Agreed about white guys. Your typical upper middle-class white guy is so henpecked. . . makes me feel sorta bad for them, lol.

Poor white guys though are like Nigerians

MRbrownJAY:

^^^^ i guess he is not a gentleman, lol!

Jenifa_:

deep down inside he is. the peer pressure from friends can be strong u kno. lol

Jenifa_:

at least you don't mind the childcare stuff. And I'm sure your wife won't mind cooking with you.

true about white guys. at first when I was friends with them I was shocked at their behavior.  all the time i was thinking it was for an ulterior motive because i didn't know any of my black male friends (who are extremely good at sweet talking by the way) who will offer to give me a ride to grocery store or come with me and help out etc. but i've come to realize it's part of their culture. then I wonder how lucky white girls are and they don't know how good they have it.
yea the behavior definitely seems wimpy. but those are the best husbands. I definitely want that kind of husband.

by poor white guys you mean the red necks that you come across on the public transit etc? ewww  lol

Jenifa_:

at least you don't mind the childcare stuff. And I'm sure your wife won't mind cooking with you.

true about white guys. at first when I was friends with them I was shocked at their behavior. all the time i was thinking it was for an ulterior motive because i didn't know any of my black male friends (who are extremely good at sweet talking by the way) who will offer to give me a ride to grocery store or come with me and help out etc. but i've come to realize it's part of their culture. then I wonder how lucky white girls are and they don't know how good they have it.
yea the behavior definitely seems wimpy. but those are the best husbands. I definitely want that kind of husband.

by poor white guys you mean the red necks that you come across on the public transit etc? ewww lol

dayokanu:

You know the way people and cultures are different, You would be shocked that a white woman that disagreed with her husband would just go and sleep with his friend to spite him and let him know later. The guy would still forgive him and they would continue living together, I wonder how many Naija ppl can do this. If a Naija woman wants to cheat self, she tries to walk far from her husbands buddies

How many Naija ppl can marry a girl with 3 kids from 3 fathers? But a white guy would do it without blinking an eye.

eku_bear:

I sorta wonder. . . is the influence their fathers or their mothers? Nigerian guys with strong mothers tend to behave very differently towards women than guys with mothers who have zero power in the relationship (or at least, this has been my observation.)
Redneck white folk are my type of people, lol. Very down to earth. And a lot less fake than upperclass whites are. But that is another story, heh

MRbrownJAY:

@jenifa
if peer pressure from friends is more important to an individual than the well being of his children then i am safe to say that this person has his priorities mixed up. lmao.

AND, if his friends believe that he is better off sitting his lazy backside at home rather than helping the household and picking up his OWN kids then i suggest he finds some better friends to look up to.

PHBABE (f)
Nigeria
Posts: 69

Offline

  The Pathetic Story Of An Igbo Woman In Dallas
« on: October 12, 2007, 06:06 AM » 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Story Of My Life-------by Mrs.Roseline Nnawuihe


My name is Roseline Nnawuihe. I am the wife of Nze Benjamin
Nnawuihe from Umuezukwe, Awo-Omamma, Imo state, Nigeria, and
we live in Dallas.


[size=18pt]I have been following very closely the various write-ups on
the internet, especially those written by my husband with
regard to the upcoming Orlu elections in Dallas and I have
come to the conclusion that I can no longer keep quiet while
innocent people's character and personality are slowly but
surely being destroyed. For those who have been following
the internet lately, Mr. Benjamin Nnawuihe in his most
recent writings, indicated that me his wife, has been
sleeping around with other men. He has also waged a war
against another man who he claims is the cause of all his
family problems.[/size]




I have been married to Benjamin Nnawuihe for 20years, and
had 5 children for him. I was married to him at the age of
18years, and joined him in Dallas from Nigeria after my high
school. For those 20years of marriage which can pass for
20years of bondage and slavery, I have had to endure
constant physical abuse, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse
and mental torture in the hands of Mr. Nnawuihe. On my very
first day in this country, he sat me down and lectured me on
the ills of associating with other people. It did not matter
who. He cut me off from all my relatives and my friends. He
did not allow me to talk to anybody on the phone. He got me
pregnant every year even when I protested, because according
to him, he did not want all those men eying his beautiful
wife.

He would not let me out of the house unless to go to
work or to go to the grocery, and I was on the time clock
for both errands. When I come home from grocery, my husband
will go through the list of items on the receipt to make
sure they were only the things that he wanted. He would make
me return any of the items to the store if it was a personal
thing. For the purchase of the grocery, he will tear out one
check leaf and write the name of the store on it.

[size=20pt]I have worked two jobs since my arrival in this country. God help
me if I was running more than fifteen minutes late in coming
home. I would get the physical beating of my life. He would
call my job at school and make complaints to get me fired. [/size]

He actually called the police a few years back and alleged
that I was into Medicare fraud. I refused to call the police
even when I was urged on by many people because I loved him,
and also because he threatened my life if he ever had a
police record. Even then, he still called the police himself
and made a report just to build up a record against me.

I would hide my bodily bruises from people, and lie just to
protect him. Last year 2006, while he was leaving for ORA
convention in Miami, he seized my cell phone so that I do
not talk to anybody while he is away. When I tried to get
the phone from him, he called the police and told them that
I prevented him from making a 911 call. I thought it was all
a joke until the police came and handcuffed me and put me in
jail. I spent that weekend in jail while he was away in
Miami enjoying himself. I had no way of contacting anybody.
Even my children were helpless and stayed at home hungry. My
16year old son then contacted my friend Mrs. Livina Ike who
contacted a lawyer. That lawyer was attorney Godson Anyanwu
who bailed me from jail and handled that case. He is a
living witness today.

This man is so insecure that I got a beating anytime he sighted me greeting any man, even if they are his relatives. Whenever we went to parties together, we
will always leave early fighting all the way home just
because a man asked me for a dance and he would attack the
person. At my age, I still look VERY GOOD, and I am grateful
to my God for that. Every man that talked to me or
complemented me was my lover. I have gradually learned to
put up some resistance and not curl up like a baby and cry
all day as I used to. Benjamin Nnawuihe can talk and bark
all night long when he is mad, and still go to work in the
morning. He forbade me from owning a cell phone because he
wanted to make sure I was not talking to other men behind
him. It was not until two years ago after I had a tire
blow-out on my way from work and was stranded on the highway
at midnight that I disobeyed him and got a cell phone. Even
though I have been the major bread-winner in the household,
I will always handover my paycheck to Ben every pay day as
he instructed, and I was forbidden from owning a bank
account, or to call my parents in Nigeria, not to talk of
sending any money to them to feed with.

Benjamin has never been gainfully employed since I arrived in this country, but
he was able to build a house in Nigeria with all the money
he collected from me. It was only a few years ago that I
disobeyed him and opened an account because it was becoming
difficult for him to give me money even to buy my
under-wears.


My husband¢s relationship with his children
is even worse. He beats and abuses them on the slightest
pretext. He does not know how those children are fed or
clothed. Unlike other fathers he does notparticipate in any
of the children¢s school activities. When they disagree
with him on any issue, he threatens to disown them. For the
past one year, he is not on speaking terms with our 17year
old son because he does not agree with his father¢s
treatment of me and Benjamin Nnawuihe has told him several
times that he is not his father. Anybody who has seen this
boy will see the carbon copy of Benjamin Nnawuihe. Mr.
Nnawuihe has not allowed me to travel to Nigeria since 1999
even when my father died, or even to go see my sick old
mother.

Through all these years, I have been very supportive of my
husband. I have been faithful to him till this day but he
will always accuse me of sleeping around due to his
insecurity. He is a very hateful and wicked man and he does
not forgive. People see him as a very angry man who never
smiles, and they wonder how I have put up with him all these
years. He does not have any friends because he cannot keep
friends. His politics is that of bitterness and personal
destruction. He is very devilish and should be avoided by
decent people. In 2004 he had a land dispute at home with a
man from Umuezukwe, Awo-Omamma. While traveling to Nigeria
that year, he swore that the young man will not be alive to
live on that piece of property. He later rushed back to the
United States suddenly. I later learned that the young man
in the land dispute has been shot dead by unknown people. Is
Ben Nnawuihe a murderer? You be the Judge.This is just one
of several cases.

Let me get to the issue about Dr. Okechukwu. For the
records, let me state that I have never had any extramarital
affairs with anybody for that matter since I married Mr.
Benjamin Nnawuihe. My God knows this, and Benjamin Nnawuihe
knows this. In 2005 OOPA elections, I was running for the
post of PRO against Mr. Ifeanyi Iwunze who is Dr.
Okechukwu¢s good friend. I was not comfortable going
through with an election because I felt that I will lose
because people hate my husband. I was advised by those who
know him to approach Dr. Okechukwu to help in urging Mr.
Iwunze to step down for me because they were very good
friends. My husband was not in good terms with the Iwunze
family, so I asked Dr. Okechukwu not to tell my husband
about it because he will feel insulted. Later on, my husband
saw details of phone calls between me and Dr. Okechukwu on
our phone bill and accused me of sleeping with him. He
refused to listen to any explanations. About two weeks later
n December 2005, Dr. Okechukwu visited us with his wife and
children in what ndi-igbo call ¡igba oriko¢. They ate,
drank, and spent the entire Sunday evening with us. Dr.
Okechukwu used the opportunity to explain everything to my
husband that nothing happened between us, and that it was
just politics. Mr. Nnawuihe will not let the matter go. He
called Dr. Okechukwu on the phone several times threatening
that he will kill him, and Dr. Okechukwu reported the matter
to the police. He has vowed that he will destroy Dr.
Okechukwu¢s reputation in Dallas, United States, and
Nigeria. He is going around telling people that Dr.
Okechukwu writes me checks in thousands of dollars and
bought a car for me. I am here to state that Dr. Okechukwu
has not given me any money, and does not give me any money.
For years I put up with Benjamin Nnawuihe letting me use the
car to work when it pleases him, and seizing the keys when
it does not please him. In order not to lose my job, I saved
up some money to buy a car. Mr. Nnawuihe went with me the
day I bought my car. It was the little money I saved up I
used to make down payment like everyone else and I am
carrying a car note. Anybody who has had an accident and
been to a doctor will understand what I am about to say. I
was involved in an accident with my car. I received
treatment at Medical Rehabilitation clinic owned by Dr.
Okechukwu/ Dr. Ezenagu/ Dr. Ozor. The money that was paid by
the insurance company included $300 (three hundred dollars)
for pain and suffering which was paid to me on the official
clinic check. My husband seized that check till this day but
continues to tell people that Dr. Okechukwu wrote a check
for one thousand dollars for me. My husband knows the truth
because he was aware of my treatment, and also because has
had the same experience with Dr. Okechukwu in the past. If
Mr. Nnawuihe can prove his story, then I am guilty of
everything he has accused me of. My problems with Benjamin
Nnawuihe started long before Dr. Okechukwu arrived in town,
and has taken a turn for the worse since Acho Orabuchi and
his wife got involved in my family affairs and became his
chief adviser. I want people to ask around in Dallas what
happened to several families that took Acho Orabuchi in as
their friend and adviser. Ask Chief Ike. Ask Mr. Godwin
Ibekwe, ask Mr. Festus Okorie. Where do I stop? Yet Acho
Orabuchi continues to live with his own wife Ngozi Kate
Orabuchi who was arrested for shoplifting in 1997, and again
convicted of shoplifting and theft in 1999. If Acho Orabuchi
wants me to post the public record on the internet, let him
declare that I am lying. This same people will go on the
internet, pass moral judgments on others and circulate
salacious materials about them. Are the Orabuchis home
wreckers and more? You be the judge.

I have no University education because Benjamin Nnawuihe
wanted me only to work and not go to school. My grammar may
not be the best, but I have tried my best with some of my
educated female friends to put my ideas together in this
story.

My experience in the hands of Mr. Benjamin Nnawuihe will
fill a whole novel. I have only given a brief summary of it.
Anybody reading my story will ask why I am telling it. I
have two reasons. The world must know the truth about who
Benjamin Nnawuihe really is because he has taken the moral
high ground and he has put his family matter out there. I
left Benjamin Nnawuihe nine months ago while he was in
Nigeria because knowing him, that is the only time that I
can leave safely. I have waited this long to do it because I
wanted my children to grow up a little more in a family
setting with a father and a mother but Benjamin Nnawuihe
chose not to be a responsible father. I will wonder for the
rest of my life if I made a good decision, but I leave it in
Gods hands. The second reason for my story is that I believe
there are hundreds of women out there married to Nigerian
men who are living my life. They need to know that they have
a choice. If there is anybody out there who thinks that what
Benjamin Nnawuihe has done to me is acceptable, it is my
prayers that their daughters meet the same fate when they
marry.

I do not have much access to the internet. I am asking
whosoever that reads my story to please send it out to as
many forums as they have access to. Silence they say is
golden. But if you are dealing with a mad, sad, disgruntled
man like Benjamin Nnawuihe, silence will no longer be
golden.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and may God
bless you.

AND TO COMPOUND
THINGS MY PAPERS ARE STILL PENDING WITH THE HOME OFFICE .