@Poster

Does anyone believe this crap?? Give us more information than that like. What states do u guys live in? what kind of program did u use to bring her in to that country? etc. Dont come to NL to jump on the bandwagon of bashing Nigerians who went home to pick a wife, everybody got a choice.

MRbrownJAY:

[b]i understand how this man´s self esteem may be shattered but sitting on his a$$ all day expecting wifey to do all these is  .
doesnt this man have a HEART?! damn he should be giving her foot massages and try his darndest to make her feel good when she comes back from slaving herself (like she did when the roles were reverse)[/b]i still dont understand where is the problem from picking your own kids to school? is it that people will know that this guy is jobless or what?!

in which countries do wives mow the lawn sef?! lol

i understand about the cooking part but for the rest, i still dont understand why a jobless FATHER cannot pick up his kids from the day care? do the grocery or mow the lawn? is THAT written in the bible or is that part of what women SHOULD do?!
any smart person would know that you can find a positive verse for any silly thing in the bible even RA.PE, PEDOPHILIA, FORNICATION, PHYSICAL ABUSE, MURDER, INC.EST etc etc etc

You are a clever guy no doubt. In fact he needs to do all that and much more if he is serious about saving his marriage and regaining the respect of the wife at least until he can get himself a proper job of work. There is no big deal about doing all these chores in the West
In fact just lying on the sofa  all day would just infuriate the poor woman the more.

if i have seen this episode once i have seen it a thousand times. GUYS STOP GOING HOME TO BRING NIGERIAN WIVES. this is a defeatist mindset. if you cant find a woman where you are then maybe, just maybe you have some issues which you need to address.

I realy feel so sorry for you brother. I know how painful this could be I've  had two friends out there facing the same problem as well which we have done all to call her back to her senses but she never listen even her own family came to the point of saying they disown her for her action still she remain adamant and send the guy out of the house after the spend almost all his life saving bringing her over, so I know things like this do happes is so painful to be honest I understand every bit of your concern I was out there before and I'd saw a lot of this craps going on with the unfortunate ones as I can put it but all I would say is take your time do all you think you could to save your home but if she refuse to yield then the best is to move on surely she will regret it at the long run is just a matter of time. I really feel sorry for your situation God bless.

guys need to start building escape tunnels when they bring their spouse in from Nigeria. I brought mine from naija and trust me i have made plans for such a rainy day. hoping it never comes but fully prepared for it if it comes.

[Quote]Common bro, such things shatters a 'real' man's self esteem.[/quote]

A real man will know better than to have his self esteem shattered by doing those things. . .bro!

Jeebus! After they'll say it's women who are the fragile sex.

Na wa o

tensor777:

You are a clever guy no doubt. In fact he needs to do all that and much more if he is serious about saving his marriage and regaining the respect of the wife at least until he can get himself a proper job of work. There is no big deal about doing all these chores in the West
In fact just lying on the sofa  all day would just infuriate the poor woman the more.

GBAM!!, all is said here

The truth is that the guy indeed has issues.

How does he treat this woman. Is he unwisely using the fact that he brought her over to US as a stick to bully her with.
Does he even have a job of work as he even confessed that his wife has repaid all her relocation expenses and is the sole signatory to their account.
Does he think just acting like a crazy loudmouth and blustering would be enough(!!!) to make her respect him. How about showing her some real love and affection.
How come about the green card by the way? Did he dupe any unsuspecting white women into a marriage for papers. Any kids from white women?

There are way too many issues here that need adressing before this guy deserves an atom of sympathy.

Lmao, I wonder why men make this mistake? Nigerian economic system makes it a hot bed for the worst wives. Most of these girls have lived a hard and very open eyed life. You need to pay. Visit to the public uni's and see your future wives in action.Nigerian women are not traditional they are hustlers. It is just the reality. They grow up very fast and are actually wiser than the Nigerian women abroad. Even the village ones come to the cities to sell their market and are actually the worst.Nigerian women are the most selfish, feminist creatures. They only live in a repressed society. Once they get the opportunity of freedom then what you will witness, your mouth will not be able to give account.They also watch a lot of MTV these days and are learning fast.If your woman has gone through Nigerian public school, doesn't come from a God fearing and known God fearing family or you didn't date her before you left for Nigeria? Omo forget it, dem go show you sey Devil pass devil. The Nigerian girls that travelled abroad right after secondary school or went to private uni's in naija are a better choice. All other's are hustlers.

^^^^ a dying minority of mumu honest girls are still trying hard to stick with their husbands come rain come shine in yankee

That story posted by Blazay is frikkin insane, lol. More sitcom stuff, but happening in real life and posted on the internet. Wow.

An interesting topic!

Really, it boils down to the individuals. If you know your partners inside out, happen to be on the same socio-economic level,
and see yourselves as partners (not as lord and servant), and most importantly with the grace of the Almighty, there
shouldnt be any problems.

TewMuch:

Lmao, I wonder why men make this mistake? Nigerian economic system makes it a hot bed for the worst wives. Most of these girls have lived a hard and very open eyed life. You need to pay. Visit to the public uni's and see your future wives in action.Nigerian women are not traditional they are hustlers. It is just the reality. They grow up very fast and are actually wiser than the Nigerian women abroad. Even the village ones come to the cities to sell their market and are actually the worst.Nigerian women are the most selfish, feminist creatures. They only live in a repressed society. Once they get the opportunity of freedom then what you will witness, your mouth will not be able to give account.They also watch a lot of MTV these days and are learning fast.If your woman has gone through Nigerian public school, doesn't come from a God fearing and known God fearing family or you didn't date her before you left for Nigeria? Omo forget it, dem go show you sey Devil pass devil. The Nigerian girls that travelled abroad right after secondary school or went to private uni's in naija are a better choice. All other's are hustlers.

you have said it all. nigerian women as a whole are a mirror image of nigerian men. materialistic, egotistic, hustlers, rude, sociopaths and did i mention materialistic ?
yall are better of getting somalian wives

Uploaded with ImageShack.us
that somalian woman shoo is purdy

There is nothing wrong with bringing a wife from home. It may go wrong, however, if it falls under one of the following circumstances:

(1) you over embellished or lied about your financial status abroad and therefore created a misleading representation or unreasonable expectation of your financial status abroad;

(2) you are not used to getting quality women abroad generally, and the only means by which you got that woman was going back home to use your "abroad status" to woo her into a relationship;

(3) you used predominantly money or material things to woo her into a relationship;

(4) you promised to bring her abroad in exchange for her promise to marry you;

(5) you brought the wife abroad to send her to nursing or some other professional school so as to predominantly use her eventual earning potential to finance your habits;

(6) you bring her as a de facto sex slave or a house maid, particularly when you barricade her from the outside world so that she would not become westernized or become corrupted by western or exposed women; OR

(7) you bring the woman from home despite palpable signs of manifest incompatibility or fundamental ideological differences that it is so unlikely that the eventual marriage will work.

My 2 cents on the issue. If you fall in love with a woman back home without falling under any of the aforementioned criteria, I think your marriage stands a significant better chance at success.

Blazay:

[size=3pt] This brand new year huh? These Village-minded, Igbotic couples have come again with their marital wahalas in the diaspora. Chai![/size]

Oh. . .I am sure she regrets coming over too.

In general,

I have seen many of these kinds of stories in the USA.
The men are mostly to blame.

1. You treat your imported Nigerian wives like dirt, thinking you are still in Nigeria where a woman has no voice.

2. You become financially dependent on your imported Nigerian wife and refuse to be anything in life but drive taxis and refuse to enrich your lives and brains!

3. Your communication skills are so sickening that you really deserve the insults you receive from these imported brides. You use domestic violence as a means to solving all problems.

4. You do not face the reality that the problems are caused by you inablility to be real men in the marriage because some desperate old white women and other foreign women have been financing your 'habits' year in, year out. Some do not even disclose their financial obligations and child support commitments before roping one mugu of a bride from the poverty-stricken Nigerian environment or allow the women to come and visit first to get a dose of the reality that awaits them. When these women come over, they start battling strange women with all kinds of phone calls in the middle of the night asking for baby daddies and all what not.

5. The number of lies you MEN tell to these importing Nigerian brides is so overwhelming that the ladies do not have any choices but to build a mountain of resenting feelings enough to kill ya arzzzes, having discovered your dishonesty. Most even have records as ex-convicts and cannot even get decent jobs. By the time the unsuspecting imported brides find out. . . you have 8 children to feed. When the women complain in frustration, you beat them and expect them not to retaliate because you feel they owe you their lives for coming to the almighty 'abroad' to join you as slaves of materialism!

6. Finally, God never gives you what you do not deserve in MARRIGE especially. You must have wronged many females in your past and you are only reaping your just rewards. Search yourself bro! Are your hands clean? My guess? No!

So @OP
I would like to hear from the wife before I sympathize with you.
Sorry o!

Nor be who first report case. . . be innocent party.

I have seen waaaaaaaaaaaay too many of these cases tooooooo much to believe ANYTHING that comes out of a man's mouth.

Go and bring the wife. . . and let us hear her own side of the story.

Case dismissed!

Gavel pounds!

This thread comes to mind.



https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-85412.0.html

is this how naija men in boise idaho act ?

bringing wives from Naija is, in my opinion, still a good option if done right and there is an element of luck involved here (same applies in any marriage). But Naija men have to also enhance their chances of a successful union when they bring their spouse abroad by being a little smart.
Unlike in Naija where we use the fact that we are the 'man' to control the woman, in the west we need to utilise our brain much more.

Example:

make sure that you both have an investment back home
If you have a mortgage in the UK,ensure that it is in your name and someone else (eg brother/sister that u can trust)ensure that the children visit Naija at least once a year

ps. u can only do this when the woman is newly in the country.

I love my wife but men just get to wise up for oyibo land      

How were you able to bring your wife over while your own paper was pending? ? ? ?.

TewMuch:

Lmao, I wonder why men make this mistake? Nigerian economic system makes it a hot bed for the worst wives. Most of these girls have lived a hard and very open eyed life. You need to pay. Visit to the public uni's and see your future wives in action.Nigerian women are not traditional they are hustlers. It is just the reality. They grow up very fast and are actually wiser than the Nigerian women abroad. Even the village ones come to the cities to sell their market and are actually the worst.Nigerian women are the most selfish, feminist creatures. They only live in a repressed society. Once they get the opportunity of freedom then what you will witness, your mouth will not be able to give account.They also watch a lot of MTV these days and are learning fast.If your woman has gone through Nigerian public school, doesn't come from a God fearing and known God fearing family or you didn't date her before you left for Nigeria? Omo forget it, dem go show you sey Devil pass devil. The Nigerian girls that travelled abroad right after secondary school or went to private uni's in naija are a better choice. All other's are hustlers.

That is so not true. Most often than not, It is the Nigerian men that are to be blamed for the seeming change in Nigerian women when they get abroad. In nigeria, you have maids et all to help the women out. Therefore,as the man you go to work and come back to find out that the house is clean, the food is ready etc. Who do you think did all those? your wife? think again. Most times, it is the maid of whom you pay the salary from the income you make. Over here, there are no affordable maids, there are no help even from families. It is every man for his own. The woman struggles to do all by herself. She Cooks, cleans, care for the kids and to crown it up, she does 9 to 5 and most times overtime just to help the man with the bills. Some nigerian men who most of the time gets home b4 their wives expects her to come home, have the strength to cook, clean the house, train the kids, help with their assignments and still have s.ex while they (the nigerian man) wanting to use the Nigerian mentality, just sit in front of the tv doing nothing.
Tell me, dont u think such women will feel pushed to the wall and hence would want to fight back? Are these your reasons why you said they changed? Nigerian men who marry nigerian girls already in america/Uk or what not knows that the woman would expect him to do stuffs at home as a reault, they forget the nigerian mentality and help around the house. Why dont you treat the women whom you claim "imported" from
nigeria the same way as you would treat the women whom you met here? It is a basic rule.
Nowadays, you cant treat women in Nigeria like crap anymore. Not to talk of a woman you brought abroad.

PS: Not all women brought to abroad change. Most times and often, it is the men who changed! You forget you aint living in nigeria.

@OP,
I dont know what you mean by sole signatory. Is she a beneficiary of some sort or a sole signatory to the family income? If the second, who works? what law says that a woman should be the sole signatory cos you are filing for her? Or did she file for you? seems you are not really open about the state of the finances and immigration here.

Princek12:

There is nothing wrong with bringing a wife from home. It may go wrong, however, if it falls under one of the following circumstances:

(1) you over embellished or lied about your financial status abroad and therefore created a misleading representation or unreasonable expectation of your financial status abroad;

(2) you are not used to getting quality women abroad generally, and the only means by which you got that woman was going back home to use your "abroad status" to woo her into a relationship;

(3) you used predominantly money or material things to woo her into a relationship;

(4) you promised to bring her abroad in exchange for her promise to marry you;

(5) you brought the wife abroad to send her to nursing or some other professional school so as to predominantly use her eventual earning potential to finance your habits;

(6) you bring her as a de facto sex slave or a house maid, particularly when you barricade her from the outside world so that she would not become westernized or become corrupted by western or exposed women; OR

(7) you bring the woman from home despite palpable signs of manifest incompatibility or fundamental ideological differences that it is so unlikely that the eventual marriage will work;

My 2 cents on the issue. If you fall in love with a woman back home without falling under any of the aforementioned criteria, I think your marriage stands a significant better chance at success.

good points but just scraping the surface. dont you think that the idea of going to nigeria to import a wife smacks of 'arrogance', 'possessiveness' , 'control freakishness', 'primitiveness', and 'inferiority complex'. such a union will almost always never work.

buzugee:

good points but just scraping the surface. dont you think that the idea of going to nigeria to import a wife smacks of 'arrogance', 'possessiveness' , 'control freakishness', 'primitiveness', and 'inferiority complex'. such a union will almost always never work.

I am not the one to judge, but I think it is still possible that you can find quality women back home. And not all women back home are poor, village girls who can be easily wooed by some dude from abroad using his "abroad status." You never know where you can find your soul mate, and I think someone made a point earlier that you should treat the wife from back home the same way you would treat a wife whom you met abroad.

But I do see your point, sha!

Princek12:

I am not the one to judge, but I think it is still possible that you can find quality women back home. And not all women back home are poor, village girls who can be easily wooed by some dude from abroad using his "abroad status." You never know where you can find your soul mate, and I think someone made a point earlier that you should treat the wife from back home the same way you would treat a wife whom you met abroad.

But I do see your point, sha!

i dont doubt that you can get SOME good women from nigeria but the man who embarks on such a 'quest' is almost always someone you need to stay away from. anyone with that kinda mindset is someone you need to run away from. anyone who does that has some serious issues that need addressing. issues of possessiveness, being a control freak, seeing spouses as property, primitive and tribal mindset, inferiority complex and arrogance. thats the underlying 'symptoms' behind a mindset like that. is it any wonder that such men end up shooting their wives to death in america when she steps out of line ? in texas alone there have been over 20 cases of husbands shooting their wives (the one they imported from naija) to death after she grows wings in america.

God bless Blazay, I've learnt not to take sides after hearing only one side of a story. I feel for the OP but I aint takin sides, there is a reason why the law allows for divorce and annulment, if you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen. chikena.

buzugee:

good points but just scraping the surface. dont you think that the idea of going to nigeria to import a wife smacks of 'arrogance', 'possessiveness' , 'control freakishness', 'primitiveness', and 'inferiority complex'. such a union will almost always never work.

Whilst I wouldn't be so unguarded I see your point. My own take is that such a controlling or ultra-conservative guy is better off staying with his bride in Nigeria.
The very idea that such a guy would just be acting like a bully and a coward to his imported wife indefinitely is just nonsense. One day will surely come when her eyes are opened to the reality of her own power in the West and she would retaliate and just tell the bully where to go and basically let him have it. That is human nature.

tensor777:

Whilst I wouldn't be so unguarded I see your point. My own take is that such a controlling or ultra-conservative guy is better off staying with his bride in Nigeria.
The very idea that such a guy would just be acting like a bully and a coward to his imported wife indefinitely is just nonsense. One day will surely come when her eyes are opened to the reality of her own power in the West and she would retaliate and just tell the bully where to go and basically let him have it. That is human nature.

if she grows wings she will end up like this http://www.republicreport.com/dubem-okafor-another-nigerian-man-kills-his-wife-in-the-usa-written-by-icheoku/

or this http://www.africanloft.com/nigerian-man-murders-wife-in-america/

or this http://www.africamasterweb.com/AdSense/NigerianKillsWifeMdUS.html

buzugee:

if she grows wings she will end up like this http://www.republicreport.com/dubem-okafor-another-nigerian-man-kills-his-wife-in-the-usa-written-by-icheoku/

I hope you realise that the killing can go both ways though and shouldn't even be considered an option?  
I remember having a serious quarrel with my mum when she was implying that the woman was to blame in this instance after we heard the story.

or this http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5608847-146/nigerian_professor_kills_wife_self_in.csp

or this http://www.kwenu.com/publications/orabuchi/2007/emeruwa_kills_wife.htm

DAMN, stop putting up those stories abeg Buzugee, do you want to prevent me from getting a wife? are Nigerian men really this violent and lackin in emotional coping mechanisms?