Mobinga:

What is wrong with this biatch sef? She is married and she's talking droppings about marriage? Does that make sense? You are a phucking hypocrite!
Why did you get married if you are against it? Why are you not single? Ridiculous!
If there's any single lady following her to write droppings then I'm sorry for you.
 

Shy-One:

@ Chima

woowwww

u just didn't get it. period- there was no cookie cutter anywhere in my post.

But that is alright - those that needed it - definitely got it.

in no way, shape or form is this aimed at you AT ALL. if u had experienced anything that i posted in "your marriage" you would be able to immediately relate to what was posted.

i have experienced it very deeply in my previous marriage and am experiencing it right now as well. hence the reason i strongly relate to it.

obviously nothing is for everybody. obviously it wasn't for you. my apologies if for some reason you didn't agree or took offense - where none was meant.

many people definitely do agree and have experienced similar. when u marry the right person - the marriage institution in itself - does definitely offer protection, security, love, strength and bonds those 2 individuals to be a much stronger as a unit versus single entities.

Shy-One:

@ Chima

woowwww

u just didn't get it. period- there was no cookie cutter anywhere in my post.

But that is alright - those that needed it - definitely got it.

in no way, shape or form is this aimed at you AT ALL.  if u had experienced anything that i posted in "your marriage" you would be able to immediately relate to what was posted.

i have experienced it very deeply in my previous marriage and am experiencing it right now as well.  hence the reason i strongly relate to it.

obviously nothing is for everybody.  obviously it wasn't for you.  my apologies if for some reason you didn't agree or took offense - where none was meant.

many people definitely do agree and have experienced similar.  when u marry the right person - the marriage institution in itself -  does definitely offer protection, security, love, strength and bonds those 2 individuals to be a much stronger as a unit versus single entities.

SA Lady:

@Mobinga, mobinga, mobinga, was it really necessary to call her a biatch, really? You couldnt come up with a constructive argument and get people talking, you just had to insult her, it's the best you could do? Your last two lines is all you needed to say.

sandraa:

Well am very well not unhooked
who ever marries your scrub backside is such a 'pls am a zombie waiting  to die'
silly assfreaking asshole!!!,   

in a nut shelll u don buy market from my hand!!!!

passer by, i was actually talking to assholes like you!!

Mrs.Chima:

Shyone,

I have opinions just like you have opinions.  When opinions aren't on the same page it will not BE AGREEABLE.  I am a realist and I am of the world.  Sugary realities aren't my specialty.  

I did not say YOU SAID IT WAS COOKIE CUTTER, I said that MARRIAGE ISN'T COOKIE CUTTER.  I used me as an example because I am married and I can speak on it. 

Once again, Marriage is what YOU MAKE OF IT.  Do you people.

Shy-One:

EXACTLY!!

since you have acknowledged that VERY true fact.

let's take it a step beyond - please, ok?  hear me out

this is a forum - a forum is a place to air opinions and that forum should be devoid of "retaliation" for expressing opinion(s) - as the beauty of any dialogue is sharing and discussing various ideas, choices, lifestyles.  that is the beauty of a forum.
-------------------------------------
you then commented that I was some sort of brown noser as though I wasn't stating my true thoughts but just posting something to "impress others, " when you stated this to filani in reference to me :

"You smile upon arse kissers huh?"  

But I wasn't talking to you, I was doing what you did throughout the thread - "expressed my belief and my opinion - genuinely"
---------------------------------------

then you went paragraph by paragraph - answering each statement as though I was "talking to you personally" - which I wasn't - your response makes it glaringly obvious that Your skills of comprehension on more than one level need expansion - so let's do it then

Shy-one Typed
[b]Marriage [/b]should improve the human species, becoming a barrier against vice, a protection to woman, strength to man, and a centre for the affections.

Chima Typed
Marriage is a contractual partnership between two people, ie Male and Female. It does not provide any protection whatsoever.  Marriage is not a gun nor a shield against anything.  Even if you are in a partnership, you still have to fend for self.  If a man doesn't have strength BEFORE marriage, how can he have STRENGTH AFTER?  No one can give you strength for strength is from within.  There different "types" of marriage and a huge proportion of married couples ARE NOT AFFECTIONATE with each other/people nor show affection.  If  you are not an affectionate person, how can you exude such?

My Response
Marriage is definitely protection and it provides that to BOTH PARTIES - take it to a level that you cannot taste with your tongue or smell with your nose - if you are fending for yourself within a partnership/within a marriage - i pity that person -  "someone in that marriage needs counseling and intervention from the other partner or a 3rd party" - If I am operating as though I am in the relationship by myself - then there is a problem, either I haven't made myself clear and/or I married the wrong man.  When you date and marry the RIGHT PERSON [color=#990000]you spend most of your free time living your life with that person versus inanimate objects or objects outside of your mate -  such as "you aren't on the computer all day, on the phone all day, talking to others about him/her" - INSTEAD you are LIVING what you married - you are physically and verbally interacting with that person that you call "husband."  You can believe that once I marry, NL won't see much of me as my time will be filled with that person -  Strength my dear comes from a billion sources - God and your mate are TWO OF THE MAIN SOURCES for the AVERAGE PERSON - they assist in your life and are available to lean on when troubled, lean on just because, lean on for sexual fulfillment - and you provide to each other so many different versions of strength in the name of laughter when sad, differing view points when views are limited, suggestions, etc, -

Strength that you have within - was placed there by everything and everyone around you.  You were not born with strength.

Konjour:

(Going strictly by the topic,without any form of referrence to previous comments): Any woman who can figure out that a prospective partner would take her for a ride cuz he's gonna marry her as a 'favour' lacks self-esteem if she goes ahead to marry him, and she'd be silly to think she can change his mentality by marrying him. On the flip side,marraige is a deliberate union between two members of opposite genders,and it ain't forced in any legal state of the world, (don't know 'bout places where the theme of civilization has never been broadcasted,though ). Yeah,attidudes differ and a couple of guys might seem/look cocky towards their fiancees,but its a very democratic world and no one will die if the lady decides to opt out. Marraige is an instituition,and like any other instituition,it has its own black spots,but it has also had a much higher success rate. If you get the right partner,you will never wanna stop being married, and you'd realise you've missed a whole lot by being single. Cheers.  

Mrs.Chima:

I hear what you are saying.   It still go back to what I said MARRIAGE ISN'T COOKIE CUTTER.  What one couple do in their marriage may not be what another couple will do in their marriage. 

There are couples who are not married happily in love with each other longer than the average married couple.  I am not saying marriage in itself is bad.  I am saying that PEOPLE NEED TO STOP sugarcoating as if MARRIAGE IS THIS BIG DEAL AND FESTIVITY because it is not. 

Some people can be married to the perfect man or woman doesn't mean they will be happy.   You only make the marriage or relationship what you feel it should be.  There are a lot of people WHO WILL NEVER BE MARRIED and will be in a long term relationship. 

This is a new day and age and EVERYTHING CHANGES.  Marriage isn't what OUR ANCESTORS experienced and the only different between marriage and relationship.  One is legal and the other is not.  Some people get married so their relationship can be legal. There is nothing special about the two. 

Shy-One:

Mrs. C:

Speak for yourself and stop cutting down and walking all over other people's opinions if they don't agree with your own.  We all - ALL OF US - are due the right to our opinion.

How am I cutting down on other people's opinions. My opinions are m own. If it agrees with your it would and if doesn't agree with your it won't.


There are many, many marriages that are definitely sound, close, connected and are INDEED SPECIAL because those individuals work hard to make it so.

Marriage is still what you make of it. Let be real.


Nothing is cookie cutter - everything is effort and energy expended - the smallest minded individual is aware that what you put into a relationship individually and as a couple dictates its outcome.

Now, you agree that nothing is cookie cutter.


And that goes from 1000 years back up til today.

That's what I take issue with - not you personally because as you know many times I have deeply appreciated your input and your thoughts and humor - but there are times that your lack of restraint and impulsiveness in your approach and method appears directed at pushing and/or trampling on thoughts that don't agree with your own and you seem intelligent enough to know that when you do this it is neither right nor fair as it IS in direct opposition of WHAT A FORUM such as this is set up to OFFER to its members.  A forum is special because it allows all to air their ideas - if you don't agree - that is understandable too - many times I don't agree but I will hold my tongue unless I feel very strongly about something. 

My opinions are of my own and it is not designed to please others who DISAGREE WITH MY OPINIONS. I am not going to spend all day filtering out what will offend people and what will not. There are things that you have stated previously that I find to be farfetched however, I respected your right to express opinions. If I chooses to respond then it is my right to do so. I don't always respond to everything people say and since you noticing a lot of things, you would have noticed that. We can't control how people will react. As I have stated multiple time this is chat and shouldn't be taken too seriously. It is not worth it.

However, I don't disagree every time someone doesn't agree with me as it is their right to form their own opinion - just don't dump all over mine as though your thought(s) is the only option or the only truth - because it/they definitely is/are not.

Btw - many, many, many times you speak on items and in areas that my view is COMPLETELY OPPOSITE - when someone else opens a thread and you post in response to the topic - I notice that if someone holds a differing opinion you will then fire back on that stranger as if they have personally affronted you because they think differently and their experience in life has been unlike your own.  Our thoughts are a direct mirror of what our experience has been in this life.  So to run at them unfavorably is to say that their experience isn't worth listening, acknowledging or respecting and you are in no position to do that to others. 

Sweetheart, please understand once again when I express an opinion or respond to a comment it is not always about you or the person. Everything is not emotional or serious with me. If you like an opinion the you wouldn't have any issues with it.


You say you don't specialize in "sugary" - I DO - I definitely do and I go out of my way to make sure that sugary is in the home especially because we work so hard (everyone under my roof in the U.S. and in Lagos).  I do focus on seeing the glass FULL versus half full or empty and because I do - more times than naught - I receive sugary in return from people as it becomes fruitage that I receive from the choices I have made and continue to make in my life.  I leave abrasive people, abrasive behavior, abrasive thinking and abrasive choices out of my video.  That is my reality and it has been quite rewarding to me and mine. 

You right, I don't specialize in sugary and I see things as it is.


People will treat you as you carry yourself - if you are a loud, cursing individual, many times you will receive that in return and if you command respect and give respect and deference to others - you in turn will receive it as well.  Also, it is a "great person" who allows others to be themselves without attempting to "constantly control the outcome, responses" - as control limits knowledge and growth.  Your thoughts many times, I see that they allow and encourage growth and in turn my thoughts should encourage growth in you as well.  I purposely Open my thought to what you and others have to offer to me.  In turn, instead of approaching my ideas and beliefs in a manner of "shutting me down because you don't agree," try to learn from me as well because it will be quite beneficial for you too.  I have alot to offer and am very valuable in my many different areas of expertise.  My manner is one small area.

People will not always agree with everything you and you shouldn't take it as an offense. It doesn't matter how it is delivered to you, just know some things aren't worth stressing over. People will treat you however they feel like treating you. You can be the nicest person in the world and still get treated like shit. Remember Jesus NEVER did any wrong and was crucified.


Killing them with kindness and coming at them when they least expect it (lovingly versus mob squad) achieves much more on global levels versus projecting your image as though you stand on a local street corner.

Shy-One:

Mrs. C:

Speak for yourself and stop cutting down and walking all over other people's opinions if they don't agree with your own.  We all - ALL OF US - are due the right to our opinion.

There are many, many marriages that are definitely sound, close, connected and are INDEED SPECIAL because those individuals work hard to make it so.

Nothing is cookie cutter - everything is effort and energy expended - the smallest minded individual is aware that what you put into a relationship individually and as a couple dictates its outcome.

And that goes from 1000 years back up til today.

That's what I take issue with - not you personally because as you know many times I have deeply appreciated your input and your thoughts and humor - but there are times that your lack of restraint and impulsiveness in your approach and method appears directed at pushing and/or trampling on thoughts that don't agree with your own and you seem intelligent enough to know that when you do this it is neither right nor fair as it IS in direct opposition of WHAT A FORUM such as this is set up to OFFER to its members.  A forum is special because it allows all to air their ideas - if you don't agree - that is understandable too - many times I don't agree but I will hold my tongue unless I feel very strongly about something. 

However, I don't disagree every time someone doesn't agree with me as it is their right to form their own opinion - just don't dump all over mine as though your thought(s) is the only option or the only truth - because it/they definitely is/are not.

Btw - many, many, many times you speak on items and in areas that my view is COMPLETELY OPPOSITE - when someone else opens a thread and you post in response to the topic - I notice that if someone holds a differing opinion you will then fire back on that stranger as if they have personally affronted you because they think differently and their experience in life has been unlike your own.  Our thoughts are a direct mirror of what our experience has been in this life.  So to run at them unfavorably is to say that their experience isn't worth listening, acknowledging or respecting and you are in no position to do that to others. 

You say you don't specialize in "sugary" - I DO - I definitely do and I go out of my way to make sure that sugary is in the home especially because we work so hard (everyone under my roof in the U.S. and in Lagos).  I do focus on seeing the glass FULL versus half full or empty and because I do - more times than naught - I receive sugary in return from people as it becomes fruitage that I receive from the choices I have made and continue to make in my life.  I leave abrasive people, abrasive behavior, abrasive thinking and abrasive choices out of my video.  That is my reality and it has been quite rewarding to me and mine. 

People will treat you as you carry yourself - if you are a loud, cursing individual, many times you will receive that in return and if you command respect and give respect and deference to others - you in turn will receive it as well.  Also, it is a "great person" who allows others to be themselves without attempting to "constantly control the outcome, responses" - as control limits knowledge and growth.  Your thoughts many times, I see that they allow and encourage growth and in turn my thoughts should encourage growth in you as well.  I purposely Open my thought to what you and others have to offer to me.  In turn, instead of approaching my ideas and beliefs in a manner of "shutting me down because you don't agree," try to learn from me as well because it will be quite beneficial for you too.  I have alot to offer and am very valuable in my many different areas of expertise.  My manner is one small area.

Killing them with kindness and coming at them when they least expect it (lovingly versus mob squad) achieves much more on global levels versus projecting your image as though you stand on a local street corner.