In Need Of A Serious And Sincere Advice

Hi Nairanlanders,

I would have loved pour out all I'm going through but posting about personal issues can be really boring to some people and also, some might think this is some sort of competition cos of the rate at which people speak about their ordeals lately. I have done something really terrible which I personally go crazy anytime I think of it to my mom. All I feel right now is depression, anxiety, unhappiness and frustration that I'm afraid I may do something crazy. However, I'm in need of a serious advice and counselling from concerned people. I'm willing to let everything out... I NEED HELP, I'M SO GOING NUTS!!!

MODIFIED: Since many are of the opinion that I type it here, I'm going to do it..


December 2018, a boy in my neighborhood who is also like a relative started making some savings with me, unfortunately that was the time I started betting as well. I used to be very trustworthy when it comes to managing people's money that's why he entrusted his money in my care.

Betting later got the best of me, I used part of the money to bet, that was how this ordeal started. In the quest of refunding the money I used on betting, I kept losing the more. I lost up to 90k before coming up with a lie of how the money was stolen in my forex trading account but I promised to refund the money.

While trying to refund the money I kept losing the little I had with me till I got hold of my mom's bank account, this started around October last year. I kept using my mom's money and the loss kept accumulating. I was able to recover the loss on my mom's bank account before 2019 ended. Now to 2020, the boy kept asking for his money, I had to return to using my mom's money again as I had no other hope of getting the money.. how I wish I had told my mom about the whole thing when it was still amendable. Fast forward to today, I have used virtually all my mom's bank savings from betting to forex trading without her knowledge.

When she noticed about the error in her account, I had to lie I helped her fix her account as she doesn't make withdrawals from her account  cos she's a trader who doesn't use her bank savings for her business.. I'm finished now, I lied to her the duration of the fix is 4 months and she's expecting the money with return by August ending.

Together with the money I owe the other boy, I'm in over 600k debt... I seriously don't know how I got here, I wish I can turn back time, I feel drained... I don't know what to do with my life, I feel like I have failed the woman who has always shown me nothing but love and care. I failed her, I failed the woman who has always trusted me to be a good son.  I even had to lie to her! Each time I think of telling her about everything, I get sick. I can't keep on going this way.. I just want this to end. I'm really SAD

I just sent a mail to the email u provided, check ur inbox now

yocreo:
Hi Nairanlanders,

I would have loved pour out all I'm going through but posting about personal issues can be really boring to some people and also, some might think this is some sort of competition cos of the rate at which people speak about their ordeals lately. I have done something really terrible which I personally go crazy anytime I think of it to my mom. All I feel right now is depression, anxiety, unhappiness and frustration that I'm afraid I may do something crazy. However, I'm in need of a serious advice and counselling from concerned people. I'm willing to let everything out... I NEED HELP, I'M SO GOING NUTS!!!


for anyone kind enough to care, here's my email address bidemslimz@gmail.com.

Sent you a mail.

TrippleEEE:

Sent you a mail.

replied sir

anthonyuncle:
I just sent a mail to the email u provided,
check ur inbox now

done sir

yocreo:

replied sir

Just sent u an email

Why not spill it out here, we learn from here too

I do not see any reason for you to create this thread since you're not ready to spill it here. Thank God you got two replies their solutions should do too na abi.

frozen70:
Why not spill it out here, we learn from here too

Seconded.
You can hide personal details, if you'll not be comfortable sharing them on a public platform.

Me thinks many people who have valuable advice won't mail you.

Just try to type it up here, bro/sis.

Godspeed.

WhisperedNoise:

Seconded.
You can hide personal details, if you'll not be comfortable sharing them on a public platform.

Me thinks many people who have valuable advice won't mail you.

Just try to type it up here, bro/sis.

Godspeed.

Who even have time for personal mail, how will that even solve problems

There are worst cases than that yet solutions were found here

I just modified the thread

frozen70:


Who even have time for personal mail, how will that even solve problems

There are worst cases than that yet solutions were found here

Yeahhh

(S)he should type the story here, and edit out the personal details.

A yoruba adage says, one doesn't hide himself from the person who will wash his corpse.

Go and confess ur sins to ur mum.U cant keep hiding the truth frm her cos its even her money.

Sooner or later she will get to find out and that will b more devastating,so do urself d gud of telling her nd also having peace of mind somehow


And as for the guy u re owing, u kno mothers are compassionate and caring who knows she can help u raise some money to clear ur debt and avoid u been embarrassed later on

Nobidy here will reimburse you on the money you squandered like the prodigal son, on nothing meaningful.

Like the prodigal son, run back to your parents, and tell them everything. It doesnt matter what shame or sadness or discipline that might follow, what matters is that you find peace again.

That is what the prodigal son said to himself when he lost his peace and respect. He determined to go back home in shame and decided that even if it was a servant's food they would be givingvhim, it is better than eating pig's feed. But when he got home, his parents didn't even take it like he thought.

Same with you. Just go tell your mum, be ready to face the shame and all and then you both can find solutions. It might even turn out that it will not be as worse as you expect it to be.

.

WhisperedNoise:

Yeahhh

(S)he should type the story here, and edit out the personal details.

A yoruba adage says, one doesn't hide himself from the person who will wash his corpse.

That's true

yocreo:
Hi Nairanlanders,

I would have loved pour out all I'm going through but posting about personal issues can be really boring to some people and also, some might think this is some sort of competition cos of the rate at which people speak about their ordeals lately. I have done something really terrible which I personally go crazy anytime I think of it to my mom. All I feel right now is depression, anxiety, unhappiness and frustration that I'm afraid I may do something crazy. However, I'm in need of a serious advice and counselling from concerned people. I'm willing to let everything out... I NEED HELP, I'M SO GOING NUTS!!!


for anyone kind enough to care, here's my email address bidemslimz@gmail.com.


MODIFIED: Since many are of the opinion that I type it here, I'm going to do it..



 


December 2018, a boy in my neighborhood who is also like a relative started making some savings with me, unfortunately that was the time I started betting as well. I used to be very trustworthy when it comes to managing people's money that's why he entrusted his money in my care. Betting later got the best of me, I used part of the money to bet, that was how this ordeal started. In the quest of refunding the money I used on betting, I kept losing the more. I lost up to 90k before coming up with a lie of how the money was stolen in my forex trading account but I promised to refund the money. While trying to refund the money I kept losing the little I had with me till I got hold of my mom's bank account, this started around October last year. I kept using my mom's money and the loss kept accumulating. I was able to recover the loss on my mom's bank account before 2019 ended. now to 2020, the boy kept asking for his money, I had to return to using my mom's money again as I had no other hope of getting the money.. how I wish I had told my mom about the whole thing when it was still amendable. Fast forward to today, I have used virtually all my mom's bank savings from betting to forex trading without her knowledge. when she noticed about the error in her account, I had to lie I helped her fix her account as she doesn't make withdrawals from her account  cos she's a trader who doesn't use her bank savings for her business.. I'm finished now, I lied to her the duration of the fix is 4 months and she's expecting the money with return by August ending. Together with the money I owe the other boy, I'm in over 600k debt... I seriously don't know how I got here, I wish I can turn back time, I feel drained... I don't know what to do with my life, I feel like I have failed the woman who has always shown me nothing but love and care. I failed her, I failed the woman who has always trusted me to be a good son.  I even had to lie to her! Each time I think of telling her about everything, I get sick. I can't keep on going this way.. I just want this to end. I'm really SAD 

You have already disappointed yourself and your mother with your friend

Go to mum and let her know what you did to her and advice her to change her bank and keep the details away from you

As for your friend, he will not take it lightly with you and whatever he decides against you, carry your cross

As for you, at this present age you are, you are already a mess, it will definitely get worst if you don't stay away from betting

Very soon you will get into drugs and that one doesn't really require you buy them, friends can also buy and give to you

By the time you realise that you have eaten up yourself the next thougt is suicide

Help your self before you go neck deep

We try to protect ourselves from shame but when we are exposed, trying not to die is the new priority.

betting is addictive. i hope you have learnt your lesson? never do it again. you would still be tempted but you have to learn to stop at all cost.

tell your mother the truth. get yourself a job and you would be able to pay back gradually. she might help you to pay back the boy but it would be fair if you get a job and pay her back with time. if you can help her out in her business to show your remorse, it would be appreciated if you can not find a job. there is a fine educated young guy that takes dried stalk fish around the market and I'm sure he makes more than his mother who is stationed at her stand. nothing is too rudiculous as long as it is legit and you must not be too proud to trade your mother's goods/products for her.

merieam16:
Go and confess ur sins to ur mum.U cant keep hiding the truth frm her cos its even her money.

Sooner or later she will get to find out and that will b more devastating,so do urself d gud of telling her nd also having peace of mind somehow


And as for the guy u re owning, u kno mothers are compassionate and caring who knows she can help u raise some money to clear ur debt and avoid u been embarrassed later on

I know now is the time to let the cat out of the bag. I'm just terrified about how she'll react and I hope this doesn't sever our relationship.

spiralwedge:
Nobidy here will reimburse you on the money you squandered like the prodigal son, on nothing meaningful.

Like the prodigal son, run back to your parents, and tell them everything. It doesnt matter what shame or sadness or discipline that might follow, what matters is that you find peace again.

That is what the prodigal son said to himself when he lost his peace and respect. He determined to go back home in shame and decided that even if it was a servant's food they would be givingvhim, it is better than eating pig's feed. But when he got home, his parents didn't even take it like he thought.

Same with you. Just go tell your mum, be ready to face the shame and all and then you both can find solutions. It might even turn out that it will not be as worse as you expect it to be.

thats a perfect title for me, The Prodigal Son. and ofc I didn't post this so people could help me pay back my debt, I brought this upon myself. I just came here to seek people's advice and I'm glad with the ones I have gotten.


Even tho I know I have to tell the truth, my mental health is just not in good shape to deal with the outcome.

frozen70:


You have already disappointed yourself and your mother with your friend

Go to mum and let her know what you did to her and advice her to change her bank and keep the details away from you

As for your friend, he will not take it lightly with you and whatever he decides against you, carry your cross

As for you, at this present age you are, you are already a mess, it will definitely get worst if you don't stay away from betting

Very soon you will get into drugs and that one doesn't really require you buy them, friends can also buy and give to you

By the time you realise that you have eaten up yourself the next thougt is suicide

Help your self before you go neck deep

thanks for the advice. ofc it got this worse cos I didnt stay away when the debt was still little. I was stupid to think I could clear the debt by playing more bets. meanwhile, I'm not an addicted or reckless bettor, I guess it just wasn't for me cos I tried all possible ways to be careful but things kept getting worse.

I can't even imagine how mom will handle the disappointment... I'm the least person she would expect this misdeed from.

Blissquare:
We try to protect ourselves from shame but when we are exposed, trying not to die is the new priority.

betting is addictive. i hope you have learnt your lesson? never do it again. you would still be tempted but you have to learn to stop at all cost.

tell your mother the truth. get yourself a job and you would be able to pay back gradually. she might help you to pay back the boy but it would be fair if you get a job and pay her back with time. if you can help her out in her business to show your remorse, it would be appreciated if you can not find a job. there is a fine educated young guy that takes dried stalk fish around the market and I'm sure he makes more than his mother who is stationed at her stand. nothing is too rudiculous as long as it is legit and you must not be too proud to trade your mother's goods/products for her.

that's my main priority after telling her the truth, to pay the debt to the last penny, I pray God sees and guides me through

@yocreo

Your first step is summoning the courage to tell your mom, but before you do that, reflect first on your life and forgive yourself, which means, let the money go. If you don’t do that, even if your mom forgives you, you may end up back in your addiction and continue to chase your loss in order to redeem yourself. You likely have gambling addiction developed due to greed and desperation. Seek help with counseling because based on the state of your mind, you may not be able to let go on your own.

So let go of the loss, and then ask her for forgiveness. Tell her what you intend to do to earn the money and pay it back like getting a job. Remember, this is redemption for you and it will come at a cost, but many years from now if you found your right path, you’ll probably be laughing at your foolishness.

Do the same with your friend. It will also come at a cost, you may lose the trust or even the friendship, but you will not lose your life to cowardice.

You are too greedy...

How can you do this to your mother?

You lost a whooping 90k and your sense didn't tell you to stop!? You had to turn your attention to your mom's account? You even lied to cover the irregularities in her account.. You practically exploited her ignorance..


You are a big dissapointment and a greedy fellow...


Greedy thing... 600k u never hustled for, you blew it on frivolity.. Shey your eyes Don clear!!

Go and confess, then hustle to pay back their money cos tears won't solve it, u don't know how hard it is to make 600k this days....

Talk to your mom about all you've done. She would only realize that you're not to be trusted. She would also discover that she hasn't really raised you properly and subsequently do more to correct your behaviour.

Why should you be scared of talking to your mom about your
criminal tendencies? I mean, she's the only one that would forgive you without involving the police.

If you do this to me or another stranger, you might spend some days behind the bar. So make your choice: talk to her NOW and allow her work on you, or continue your bad behaviour till you meet your match.

yocreo:



thanks for the advice. ofc it got this worse cos I didnt stay away when the debt was still little. I was stupid to think I could clear the debt by playing more bets. meanwhile, I'm not an addicted or reckless bettor, I guess it just wasn't for me cos I tried all possible ways to be careful but things kept getting worse.

I can't even imagine how mom will handle the disappointment... I'm the least person she would expect this misdeed from.

Simmon up courage and go to mum, she will definitely be mad at you but God will give her the grace to accept it

Then your problems will be half way solve

annayawchee:
You are too greedy...

How can you do this to your mother?

You lost a whooping 90k and your sense didn't tell you to stop!? You had to turn your attention to your mom's account? You even lied to cover the irregularities in her account.. You practically exploited her ignorance..


You are a big dissapointment and a greedy fellow...


Greedy thing... 600k u never hustled for, you blew it on frivolity.. Shey your eyes Don clear!!

Go and confess, then hustle to pay back their money cos tears won't solve it, u don't know how hard it is to make 600k this days....

trust me, I wish you could say more. I know how stupid and wasteful I have been but I didn't do it out of GREED. I know no one will believe that but that's the truth.. the reason why it got this bad was because I didn't want to offend my mom but I was wrong and stupid all through.

yocreo:


trust me, I wish you could say more. I know how stupid and wasteful I have been but I didn't do it out of GREED. I know no one will believe that but that's the truth.. the reason why it got this bad was because I didn't want to offend my mom but I was wrong and stupid all through.

What led you to this mess is your greed, greed to make more money without doing anything....

Did you bet to lose?

Oga... Your greed got you in this mess and you just lost your mother's trust and that boy's.

Your excuse of not wanting to offend your mother hold no water...

Your greed brought you here oga...

Just admit it

I understand you perfectly bro, I have been there too.
Finally realized that what kills people in betting is greed. Wanting to make thousands and millions with so many odds.

Betting actually goes with great self discipline.
This is the secret of betting. Just bet ONLY one game with maybe 1.2 or 1.3 odd, that's it. and watch your money grow.
Refuse to be tempted with so much games, NO.
remember this, takes self discipline.

But for now, I will advise you to stop anything betting and tell your mom the truth.

yocreo:



I know now is the time to let the cat out of the bag. I'm just terrified about how she'll react and I hope this doesn't sever our relationship.

at all, it wont affect ur relationship with her. She would only wonder whr she went wrong in parenting nd hopefully correct it nd keep an eye on you


I hope u ve learnt ur lessons nd forgiven urself aswell

yocreo:


thats a perfect title for me, The Prodigal Son. and ofc I didn't post this so people could help me pay back my debt, I brought this upon myself. I just came here to seek people's advice and I'm glad with the ones I have gotten.


Even tho I know I have to tell the truth, my mental health is just not in good shape to deal with the outcome.

Ok. I get it.

That's how you'll grow. I"ve passed through similar in the past. They made me stronger.

If you dont pass through this ordeal, what stories are you going to share to your kids when start having one?
In my family, all of us have similar funny stories that once in a while when we meet, we recount those days and we all laugh.

See it like this, everything has cause and effect. So as a man, face the effects of your past actions and be determined not to repeat them.

What you should be worried about now is that will you repeat the same mistake? How do you work on self control? How do you work on self discipline? What is your purpose in life? Can you start working towards it?

Leave the consequences. You will bear it noni.

O chim

Your matter weak me

It's funny how we often make things worse when we try so hard to fix them