I would like to know where 'fat' came into it though

I'll tell u what, U sound like a racist the way u keep saying NGOZI. You act like marrying a Nigerian, is a disgraceful act

do you think many white ladies want to live by a different culture

. I am sorry for insulting u, I only did it because You insulted my country!

n-guage:

I'll tell u what, You sound like a racist the way u keep saying NGOZI. You act like marrying a Nigerian, is a disgraceful

I think what she finds disgraceful is the role the Nigerians expect a woman (Ngozi) to play!

n-guage:

I'll tell u what, You sound like a racist the way u keep saying NGOZI. You act like marrying a Nigerian, is a disgraceful act . I am sorry for insulting u, I only did it because You insulted my country!

thank you for appologizing. I think she actually acts as if marrying a Nigerian was doing us all a huge favor that we should all fall down on our knees and worship her for.

michelin89:

I think what she finds disgraceful is the role the Nigerians expect a woman (Ngozi) to play!

Which Nigerians are you talking about? Abeg if you have no clue what you are talking about dont just bleat!

Women are not treated better anywhere else. I know this b'cause I've been in britain and I live in the US. What does she want, she expects the man to breastfeed the baby, hunh?

davidylan:

Which Nigerians are you talking about? Abeg if you have no clue what you are talking about don't just bleat!

The one you and I know! If you don't agree with what I have written, keep on yarning.

David I have told you you'll never get me involved with you in a discussion! I don't deal with trouble-makers!

@michelin89,
why dont you tell us what roles u are talkin about.

thank you all for your opinions I am very grateful (even though you may not think I am) I am very sorry if I came across as insulting Nigeria i have no reason to insult Nigeria and Nigerians.

n-guage:

@michelin89,
why don't you tell us what roles u are talkin about.

Read leilah's posts on this thread!

yes, thank you Michelin89

hey Leilah,

after reading this thread, i still think u r holding back the real reason why u want to divorce ur husband.
i sympathise with u that ur husband is lazy, u have a child, who is young so needs most of ur attention, you work a full time job, and do housework and cook. i admire the things our modern day woman has to go thru now.
All this nonsense that some of the guys are saying on this forum angers me. She did not say all nigerians were bad. Her Husband happens to be a nigerian, and this is a nigerian forum. Why does she have to be insulted becoz she is having doubts about her husband. Abag sharap coz not all nigerians are saints! (although most are )

i personally think u have some insecurity issues, ur husband is basically taking u for granted, and u may be wandering if a 'ngozi', as u put it, will take this shit from him, or can handle the shit he lays out.
U need to talk to ur husband, communication is the key. I know some naija men dont like to talk about their feelings, but please try and do it for ur sons sake. Tell him how u feel, he probably doesnt even realise ur having doubts about the marriage.

And lastly, stop comparin urself to Ngozi, he married u not a nigerian, doesnt this show that he loves u. U have to trust him, if u cant trust him, then the marriage is doomed.

Wat makes u think he married u for the papers, how long did u guys court for?

@ leilah
no one hates you. i know that many white women who marry africans are eager to please and want to be accepted. i dont even know you but what i noticed was the incessant mention of the ngozis in your posts. it strikes me as odd that you would be so worried about other assumed nigerian rivals who would be glad to push you out and take your man. if i was married to a white man, no samantha, carla or tweetie would be able to make me so insecure. why would they do it i wonder? no one can put you down without your permission. get some self confidence. your man is all yours.

Thank you very much spoilt and blue sky thats understanding mature advice.

@bluesky we were together for a year and a half b4 we married although he didn't have papers when I married him. He had a student/study visa in which time spent here is not taken into consideration when it comes to citizenship. However, he waited that year and a half when he could have easily found someone else. Thankfully, he chose me and took me to Nigeria, he could have taken me anywhere to marry me I guess somewhere cheaper with less affort but I gotta be grateful in the sense that I was brought there. My lack of confidence makes me look ungrateful I guess.

now you are talking leilah! you knew he didnt have permanent residency 'papers' then. maybe thats why you are kind of skeptical about his motives.its understandable.many women have been used. if he leaves, its his loss. you've been the best wife you can be to him. sometimes we have to learn to celebrate freedom from a bad situation and move on.what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

well God go help us all from the thinking by all whites that Africans that get to marry them do that before of papers, well maybe that true but what if the love comes in after both have met? what if he now loves you whole heartedly?
please we want to hear that you have spoken with him about this issues and we also need to know his response and see if this post have helped a bit in solving any of your problems, please do that

n-guage:

Women are not treated better anywhere else. I know this b'cause I've been in britain and I live in the US. What does she want, she expects the man to breastfeed the baby, hunh?

Exactly.

As for those talking about papers. Na only Leila get the papers? I beg make we hear word. The paper self dey finish? so if she gives him it would reduce the one she has?

@ leila
pls if u are not sure of the man or all u can do is complain, leave him alone let him go and meet Ngozi! u sound like a broken record.
At first u said u were a housewife. Now u are a working mum spliting bills 50:50 ur story just doesnt add up!

This post is really annoying me,
the babe is not being straight-forward at all,
abeg, if u want to divorce the man, go ahead
whats all these cock & bull story for, _{sighs & zooms away}

CONCLUSION
the guy is good. u are the one feeling insecure.

angel101:

Exactly.

As for those talking about papers. Na only Leila get the papers? I beg make we hear word. The paper self dey finish? so if she gives him it would reduce the one she has?

laugh no go kill person. i havent laughed this hard in a long time. true true paper no dey finish. it is eternal.

As for those talking about papers. Na only Leila get the papers? I beg make we hear word. The paper self dey finish? so if she gives him it would reduce the one she has?

true true, this paper talk is driving me wild. I know this AA, she makes heR african husband do all sort of things. ALL BECAUSE OF PAPER!

how are you sure its not the opposite of what she is saying?

n-guage:

true true, this paper talk is driving me wild. I know this AA, she makes heR african husband do all sort of things. ALL BECAUSE OF PAPER!

he who has the 'papers' dictates the tune.

I think by now, Leilah should be telling us, she has renounced her earlier decision to divorce her husband. If we cannot see this by her next post, she should leave us alone, then go ahead to divorce him.

exactly!!!

Please pals, is there no other matter to discuss in here? is there anyone thinking of divorcing her white husband in here? maybe because he sleeps with other women outside and sees nothing wrong in it, lets deliberate on such matters not on this baseless and rootless issue

You see men, I'm not seeking out a divorce but I think the expectations that some men have of their full time working, studying and mothering wife. What about taking your cup up tp the sink and LEAVING IT IN THE SINK. I am not asking him to cook but notbeing able to lift a cup thats just annoying that is. Not only that how about getting up in the mornings to find his empty beer cans on the floor. I do all the cooking and cleaning I expected some appreciation especially that I buy my own clothes!!! call me all the names you like. I would accept this if I was a housewife thats not working. I called myself a housewife becuase thats what I am also. A FULLTIME EMPLOYEE AND FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE. I just have to accept its always gonna be this way. See it how you like. Am I not supposed to get tired.

Thank you all for your kind replies it has really helped. Basically there aint no point in me complaining. I have concluded that I love this person with all my heart (which I REALLY DO) I am not used to being a full time housewife and full time employee that does not get clothes bought for her

yes, ngozie this ngozie that I have wrecked everyones head but the reason why I said that word so many times is because they are the mules of the world, what man wouldn't want them eh?. Howver with all my empathy and understanding I will play a similar role with a view to making everything work.

ur husband is really wrong. If he really leaves his spoon in the sink, and does not buy things for you ( even on valentines day).
Try to talk to him. If he doesn't change, divorce his blk ass

Leilah women like you have a complex and do anything to keep a man
Women like you believe every bull story the man tells you.
A man that wants to live like a king should treat you like a Queen.
He should get you a househelp and spend money on you.
Even the Ngozis of this world have a bottom box were is yours.

my dear

if you were an Ngozi in Nigeria, you would get a househelp(maid)
if you were an Ngozi in Nigeria , he would have to buy you clothes (inlaws won't let him be)
if you were an Ngozi in Nigeria, dang, you would not be splitting bills 50:50

Kia-Kia

Better become 'ngozi' o!!

this your Naija man is 'cheating' you of Nigerwives rights

Abeg sista don't play oyinbo for too long o!


Don't you have a good relationship with his mama, tell her that her son is not looking after you well, all this work is just making you so tired blablablabla

Meeeeen, there is a way to rap Naija mothers , some of us need to teach you ke!