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He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd - Romance (6) - Nairaland

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Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:31pm On Apr 12, 2011
He wont read it. Why bother? When you hate women you are determined to only believe they are capable of evil. No one else.

ETA: Thanks for the article, I heard of such crap from quite a number of women myself and even the comments of the article prove that this is pretty common these days. But as Ive said some rather be in denial
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by InkedNerd(f): 6:45pm On Apr 12, 2011
ThiefOfHearts:

He wont read it. Why bother? When you hate women you are determined to only believe they are capable of evil. No one else.

ETA: Thanks for the article, I heard of such crap from quite a number of women myself and even the comments of the article prove that this is pretty common these days. But as Ive said some rather be in denial

I know what you mean. He made it seem like people never have alternative motives of their own.

No problem. I was even in a situation where a guy said that to me and it made me do a double take when he said it. I was trying to read his facial expression because I thought he was joking but the dude was dead serious. Scary undecided

By the way, I noticed you live in NY--are you from the Bronx? [just askin' since most Africans are in the Bronx lol]
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nekai(f): 8:19pm On Apr 12, 2011
So true! My cousin was going to be leaving his state for six months and he told me that he was thinking about getting his girlfriend pregnant so that he could have something to look forward to when he came back, and so that she wouldn't find another guy. A couple of months later he calls me to tell me his girlfriend got pregnant and they decided on an abortion even though she kind of wanted to keep it. I was so shocked. I reminded him about what he said about wanting to impregnate her before he left and he swore up down left and right that he didn't say it. All he was saying was that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life, and he wasn't ready. The poor girl had the abortion right before he left. I wonder how she would have felt if she had known that he did it on purpose?

Most guys know exactly what they are doing. Instead of using a condom, or using the pull out method, they fully expel into a woman for their own selfish purposes. As soon as the test turns positive they start talking abortion.

That's why some guys are always talking about women trying to trap them by not wanting to have an abortion. They are showing you how their mind operates. They set the trap, the girl gets pregnant, reality hits them, and they change their mind and flip the script. "She's trying to trap me! She's trying to trap me!" Lol. Most times the girl is the one who could have any man she wants and is better off and more settled, and the guy is surviving on potential business or potential dream job.

@Topic, a PP brought up a good point. What if she starts a family first, and ends up a widow?
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by InkedNerd(f): 8:46pm On Apr 12, 2011
Nekai:

So true! My cousin was going to be leaving his state for six months and he told me that he was thinking about getting his girlfriend pregnant so that he could have something to look forward to when he came back, and so that she wouldn't find another guy. A couple of months later he calls me to tell me his girlfriend got pregnant and they decided on an abortion even though she kind of wanted to keep it. I was so shocked. I reminded him about what he said about wanting to impregnate her before he left and he swore up down left and right that he didn't say it. All he was saying was that he wasn't where he wanted to be in life, and he wasn't ready. The poor girl had the abortion right before he left. I wonder how she would have felt if she had known that he did it on purpose?

Most guys know exactly what they are doing. Instead of using a condom, or using the pull out method, they fully expel into a woman for their own selfish purposes. As soon as the test turns positive they start talking abortion.

That's why some guys are always talking about women trying to trap them by not wanting to have an abortion. They are showing you how their mind operates. They set the trap, the girl gets pregnant, reality hits them, and they change their mind and flip the script. "She's trying to trap me! She's trying to trap me!" Lol. Most times the girl is the one who could have any man she wants and is better off and more settled, and the guy is surviving on potential business or potential dream job.

@Topic, a PP brought up a good point. What if she starts a family first, and ends up a widow?

No offense [please forgive me for this], but your cousin sounds like a complete jackass!!! In fact, both your cousin and the girl sound foolish. Your cousin got her pregnant based on selfishness and the girlfriend agreed based on stupidity. I don't understand the rational some people possess [or in this case, don't possess] when they decide to engage in something like that with no certainty that the relationship will last. Some of these women make me shake my head at times. You don't know how many women I see here who put a guy through school, wait for the guy while he's away, or put their needs aside for the sake of a guy, only to have the guy leave them.

By the way, the pull out method isn't good embarassed
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 9:09pm On Apr 12, 2011
What if she starts a family first, and ends up a widow?

which part of she has a masters already are some people not getting?
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by InkedNerd(f): 9:15pm On Apr 12, 2011
tpiah!:

which part of she has a masters already are some people not getting?



Is it a crime for her to get another one?
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 9:15pm On Apr 12, 2011
^^she wants a phd now, and what's being debated is the urgency of the need.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by InkedNerd(f): 9:18pm On Apr 12, 2011
tpiah!:

^^she wants a phd now, and what's being debated is the urgency of the need.

And why is it a problem for her to want to get it now rather than later? Not everyone wants to get their PhD [or another PhD] in their old age.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 9:22pm On Apr 12, 2011
^^that is the issue of debate.

no need to catch feelings.

at 24, i think she has enough time to do whatever she needs to do for a while, without rushing.

and like i said before, its her choice, not nairaland's own.'

she's the one in her situation, not anybody else here.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by InkedNerd(f): 9:26pm On Apr 12, 2011
tpiah!:

^^that is the issue of debate.

no need to catch feelings.

at 24, i think she has enough time to do whatever she needs to do for a while, without rushing.

and like i said before, its her choice, not nairaland's own.'

she's the one in her situation, not anybody else here.

Maybe you see it that way but perhaps she doesn't. What you may consider to be enough time may not seem that way to her or other people at that.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by ektbear: 9:27pm On Apr 12, 2011
Wow. I didn't know dudes do that, lol.

Seems so short-sighted and foolish.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 9:48pm On Apr 12, 2011
Inked_Nerd:


Maybe you see it that way but perhaps she doesn't. What you may consider to be enough time may not seem that way to her or other people at that.

is there a particular reason why you're taking the matter so personally?

just asking.

its your type who will build suspicious "friendships" with the husband while she's slaving away on her phd.

giving him the female company he's missing.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nekai(f): 10:03pm On Apr 12, 2011
ekt_bear:

Wow. I didn't know dudes do that, lol.

Seems so short-sighted and foolish.

Agreed.

Inked_Nerd:


No offense [please forgive me for this], but your cousin sounds like a complete jackass!!! In fact, both your cousin and the girl sound foolish. Your cousin got her pregnant based on selfishness and the girlfriend agreed based on stupidity. I don't understand the rational some people possess [or in this case, don't possess] when they decide to engage in something like that with no certainty that the relationship will last. Some of these women make me shake my head at times. You don't know how many women I see here who put a guy through school, wait for the guy while he's away, or put their needs aside for the sake of a guy, only to have the guy leave them.

By the way, the pull out method isn't good embarassed

My cousin is a jackass! But the girl didn't know his plan! That's why I felt sorry for her. All the more reason why both people should take precautions. Men shouldn't depend on a woman "being on the pill", and a woman shouldn't depend on a guy pulling out in time, or she shouldn't  depend on a a guy supplying a condom.

I think the girl should get her Phd if that was her goal, because stopping short of it would limit her career opportunities. For example, if her dream career was to interact with people, solve their medical problems, and become a medical doctor and she obtained her masters in the biological sciences, if she stopped there she would have to take on a whole different kind of job. She would have to be a research assistant gathering data, or she would work in a laboratory. She woudn't be doing what she was passionate about. If she had planned on only going the masters route from the beginning she would have chosen to get a degree in nursing, or even get her masters degree as a physicians's assistant.

She can go to school and get married and start a family, with her husband's support, or she could postpone starting the family right away.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 10:05pm On Apr 12, 2011
stopping short of a phd would limit her career opportunities

indeed!!!
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nekai(f): 10:11pm On Apr 12, 2011
Why would he start making preparations to marry a woman that has plans to get her PhD, and then ask her to drop her plans?

The only way that this makes sense is if the woman woke up one morning and just decided that she wants to get a PhD after they were making plans to be married.

When you are engaged and planning a future together, and when you get married, it's not right to change your mind about major things like this and expect the other person to just go with the flow.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by ThiefOfHearts(f): 10:14pm On Apr 12, 2011
Inked_Nerd:



By the way, I noticed you live in NY--are you from the Bronx? [just askin' since most Africans are in the Bronx lol]

Lol Africans are in Brooklyn! But No, Im in the suburbs.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 10:49pm On Apr 12, 2011
^Fuckry tongue

@ POSTER,
GET YOUR EDU. FIRST! TAKE CARE OF YOUR GOALS FIRST AND THEN DECIDE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT!!!!!!

I AM TELLING YOU, DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE MANY OF US WOMEN HAVE BEFORE! IT'S NOW A TIME IN HUMAN
HISTORY WHERE WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO ACHIEVE JUST AS MUCH AS HER MALE COUNTERPARTS OR MORE, SO GET YOUR
GOALS ACCOMPLISHED MAMA AND THEN THINK ABOUT STARTING A FAMILY WHEN YOU ARE READY!!!!
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by Nobody: 11:14pm On Apr 12, 2011
^^ Whats the difference between you and her "controlling" fiance?
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by PhysicsMHD(m): 1:42am On Apr 13, 2011
What area/subject is the Ph.D. in?
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by fstranger3(m): 1:49am On Apr 13, 2011
^^^^
You just have to know that to post a comment, innit? grin
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by BABE3: 1:52am On Apr 13, 2011
^^I think he had to know, coz if the PH.D is in Catering and Hotel management, then she might as well be a housewife. cheesy
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by BABE3: 1:56am On Apr 13, 2011
J12:

^^ Whats the difference between you and her "controlling" fiance?

You is a female? ?? Chai! Finally! I always knew something wasn't right! cool
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by mamagee3(f): 1:57am On Apr 13, 2011
BABE!:

You is a female?  ??  Chai! Finally! I always knew something wasn't right! cool
grin grin grin grin grin
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by PhysicsMHD(m): 1:59am On Apr 13, 2011
fstranger3:

^^^^
You just have to know that to post a comment, innit? grin

Yeah. I would feel wrong advising her to go ahead with the Ph.D. if it's not really necessary in order to achieve at the highest levels in that particular field or to be a legitimate scholar in that field. That is something to take into consideration. Does she want the Ph.D for its usefulness in advancing in that field and to increase her knowledge of that field or just for the title of "Dr."? If it's for the title, then she probably shouldn't risk damaging a good relationship on something which might just be ornamentation. I was asking so I could try and find out if there were routes to the heights of achievement in her subject area other than completing a Ph.D.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by PhysicsMHD(m): 2:01am On Apr 13, 2011
BABE!:

^^I think he had to know, coz if the PH.D is in Catering and Hotel management, then she might as well be a housewife. cheesy

lol,

Hotel Administration doctorates? Didn't know those existed.
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by ektbear: 2:05am On Apr 13, 2011
At least he doesn't want you to be a ho undecided

Why can't women look at the bright side of things
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by fstranger3(m): 2:06am On Apr 13, 2011
grin grin grin grin
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by BABE3: 2:09am On Apr 13, 2011
PhysicsMHD:

lol,

Hotel Administration doctorates? Didn't know those existed.


HA! You never jam! Even Janitors earn PH.D! Education is on some another level now o. cheesy

ekt_bear:

At least he doesn't want you to be a ho  undecided

Why can't women look at the bright side of things

Haha! So because he doesn't want her to be a ho, it makes it ok for him to put her under house arrest.
I see you are not a 21st century man. Did you witness the Titanic sink?  cheesy
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by PhysicsMHD(m): 2:14am On Apr 13, 2011
ekt_bear:

At least he doesn't want you to be a ho undecided

Why can't women look at the bright side of things

lol
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by ektbear: 2:17am On Apr 13, 2011
@Babe: It was mostly a poor attempt at a joke. . . was fishing for a few chuckles  grin

Nah, I'm conservative about a lot of things, but as far as career stuff, I feel women should get to make the decision themselves. Nothing worse than being stuck in a career that you absolutely hate. And being a housewife is a career that I suspect would get boring pretty fast  undecided
Re: He Wants Me As A Housewife. I Want My Phd by BABE3: 2:22am On Apr 13, 2011
ekt_bear:

@Babe: It was mostly a poor attempt at a joke. . . was fishing for a few chuckles  grin

Nah, I'm conservative about a lot of things, but as far as career stuff, I feel women should get to make the decision themselves. Nothing worse than being stuck in a career that you absolutely hate. And being a housewife is a career that I suspect would get boring pretty fast  undecided

Yh, I was trying to make a joke out of the whole thing too. grin

Being a housewife doesn't get boring pretty fast o. You never jam! Do you watch the real housewives of Atlanta/New York----. If you do, those ones can never get bored. smiley

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