Looks like the poster's mind is already made up

eiya

From what i know about some nigerian women they only respect men who beat them up.If you are the type of man who is gentle and treats his woman like a queen they look down on you and hiss and you and refer to you as a foolish woman wrapper.Note its not all nigerian girls but a significant number of them.I was talking to this warri lady the other day and she told me the only type of men she would love to date are the ones who would beat her silly because she believes that a man who beats his woman is a tough guy and someone who can be in control of the relationship.You know some of this nigerian ladies love the bad boy image and the more brutal you are to them the more they respect you.This can explain why some of these women find it hard to leave an abusive relationship.

The goal would be not to find such an emotionally damaged woman that hasn't taken the time to work through her issues.

I can't believe some men on here are blaming the woman. So, because a woman is 'confrontational' to her BOYFRIEND and doesn't back down in a disagreement, she can provoke a man to physical violence?

I can bet you this same man will not hit a police officer that is being 'confrontational', and this same man wouldn't hit his boss.

Punk ass fucking coward.

Nekai:

I can't believe some men on here are blaming the woman. So, because a woman is 'confrontational' to her BOYFRIEND and doesn't back down in a disagreement, she can provoke a man to physical violence?

I can bet you this same man will not hit a police officer that is being 'confrontational', and this same man wouldn't hit his boss.

Punk backside bleeping coward.

word sis!!!! if they want to show their manliness,they can try out insanity workout!!!

@ poster
Please dont leave him. If you leave him, he will not have anyone to beat again till he gets a new girlfriend, that is if he is not double dating. Leaving him at this crucial time of his wrestling career will make him lack training material. Stay with him till he panelbeats your body thoroughly for you.
On a more seriuos note, the guy is tired of having s*x with you and he needs to get rid of you. Happy crying.

@ op, sorry my dear, its part of the journey to mr and mrs affairs on this planet.

234GT:

@ poster
Please dont leave him. If you leave him, he will not have anyone to beat again till he gets a new girlfriend, that is if he is not double dating. Leaving him at this crucial time of his wrestling career will make him lack training [/b]material. [b]Stay with him till he panelbeats your body thoroughly for you.
On a more seriuos note, the guy is tired of having s*x with you and he needs to get rid of you. Happy crying.

hahahahahahhaah!

Just pray for him  to change.  He might be going through  some problems.

Nekai:

I can't believe some men on here are blaming the woman. So, because a woman is 'confrontational' to her BOYFRIEND and doesn't back down in a disagreement, she can provoke a man to physical violence?

I can bet you this same man will not hit a police officer that is being 'confrontational', and this same man wouldn't hit his boss.

Punk backside bleeping coward.

But ultimately she is more responsible because she knows what she's getting into, she knows what kind of man she's dealing with. If you let it happen once then it'll continue for a long time. The best thing to do is just LEAVE HIM, plain and simple.

And who's to say she wasn't getting in his face and provoking him? Let's face it, as abusive as he might be, I really doubt he was simply waking up like "Yeah, I'm gonna beat this b!t<h" and just smacked her up for any little or no reason. Not to justify that, but like I always say, there's more than one side to an a$$-whooping.

And if she keeps going back to him, then she's not telling the whole story, there's MUCH more to it. Simple.

Oluwayombo:

Just pray for him  to change.  He might be going through  some problems.

But that isn't HER problem. She should just leave him and let him work whatever problems he has out by HIMSELF!

let me assume the poster is my ex-date and she called me to intimate me that i have ignorantly contributed to my present predicament. the poster is not known to me but i believe that since my ex date is in lagos now,she must have influence this post through a faceless nairalander. initially when i read the post,everything looks so real to my circumstances until the poster begin to say things not in place as akind my experiences, lets assume the poster is my troublesome ex date and deals with the issue in a defensive posture. i stays in port harcourt and believe this post originated from lagos the present abode of this unrepentant woman wolf. i begin to go through all the posts again when she called me and was fascinated by the out pouring of emotions expressed by concern contributors. i equally envisage the mind sets of all contributors and drew my contributions as thus,some are gifted in counselling,others manipulates their psychological prowess and mature presentation while others were emphatically naive to reality hence fueling animosity through their short sighted approach and over bearing tantrum of self delusions. basically,i never intend to join issues with her not in public save save electronic medium but this the jet age hence this re-joiner in the nairaland forum to put the record straight as requested by concern contributors.
this topic attracted so much elucidated sentiments i have to tell the honest truth so everyone would have positive mindset rather than myopic and unfounded sentiments. i actually met the poster in late 2007 when she was on an industrial attachment and stays wit a cousin of hers and we became instantly attached. few month later,we started seeing and i was there for her measuring in every respect.i never douths her love now i know it was infatuation built on fantasy. she later had an unending issue with her cousin and i accepted to accommodate her to enable her complete her pro grammes,sooner she moves in,she started making troubles,nag and becomes quarrelsome.initially,i thought it was education stress but i was wrong as she became violent and shout at me at any opportunity. it gradually developed into assaults she locked me behind closed doors and gives me the beating of my life. somethings she tore me to shred and after beating the day light in me invite my friends over for mock feast.too bad. she reign curses and abuse on me including my families and disgraces me in the neighborhood. people begin to treat me with disdain and disrespect and i always moves in shame.there is this day it became unbearable and i slapped her cos she say am an insignificant brat to talk to her. that she must not listen to me but men of high repute like her professor this,professor that and her co travelers in the pharmacy discipline. she is too proud,pompous and lack dignity.she is worse than a LovePeddler.she slap me back after that incident and we really had issues. i then decided never to touch her again but instead of stopping,it graduated to her battering me. shes slaps me at any provocation,always daring and confrontational and never yielding. she is stubborn,hot tempered,short and really irritating in character and disposition. i stop sleeping with her when she accused me of infecting her with the deadly virus HIV even at a busy street she held me and was shouting i gave her the dreaded disease. after proper test it was found untrue and she never ever apologies. whenever i scold her or say something,she slap my mouth or ask me to shut up. sometime i just slap back to remind her she must nt touch me. in all this circumstances,i do always come out brushed,bitten and molested. sometime she confront me with dangerous objects like kitchen knives,bottles,any thing in sight dangerous. she always destroy my properties in her outrages. she is nt contended and see men all the times. if i confront her,she always tell me the are his friends nothing more yet the take her outing,buy her gifts,including blackberry and i pod. she lies alot and wot makes me finally drove her is she lied to me she was going to her school over a particular weekend only for one of her male client to flow her to abuja and bleeped her severally and parcel and sent her back to me. when i confronted her,she lied she went to process a visa in a weekend day in abuja. i guess that was a Satan embassy. she lie,lies and lied alot. in all of this,i have never ever bruised her. never have i slapped her twice,never. all those allegation was a smokescreen to give the post coloration and credibility. in all honesty,am the one who always comes out of this disturbances, bruised and battered. once i nearly lost my manhood,she bites a lot and would not stop until she inflict bruises on me seeing blood all over me. upon all this,i still see her through her education,kept her in my house,protect,feed and properly take care of her yet she is insatiable and runs after rich men. only of his client facilitated my arrest and detaining in a police cell because i went asking for my house keys. such is the lifestyle and pathetic sorry of this tormentor. finally,i never beg her,only ask her to stop her violence as it contradict my lifestyle. am a reserved guy and an introvert. i do not need trouble

I know most of you will tell me to leave him but it's not that easy, the commitment and the sacrifice i have made in this relationship would not make that so easy for me. And above all, i love him so much! Am perplexed.
Thank you so much for taking all your time to read this, you don't know how much it means to me. I'm almost crying now writing this, just thank you so much everyone.

Ok, I won't tell you to leave him as that would not be easy for you. Everyone knows that packing a bag and heading for the nearest exit is a 100 X more harder to do than being throttled, having your head bashed against walls, kicked, bruised on the regular. So stay, you've worked hard at this relationship and sacrificed things besides, you 'love' him so much and he 'loves' you too when he's not trying to kill you. How sweet of him to apologize after every beat down. He's a keeper.

How do you like that advice? But we both know it's bullshyte, right? Now,

Whoever told you about or showed you Love as a child needs to be sued. This man DOES NOT love you. He's telling you to Eff Off with every beating and gets angrier with your low self esteem having self for insisting on sticking around. You're not showing commitment by consenting to being his punching bag, you're just showing him that you value yourself even less than he does. So he's not wrong for treating you like shit as you're not treating yourself any better. It's not gonna get better, it will get worse. Quit him already! You really sound like a good woman caught up in a bad situation. Be good to you for a change. Be dedicated to you. Get to know you and learn to value yourself. Love you.

"If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price" ~ Unknown

Good Luck

I hope you all read about the Guy who stabbed his pregnant wife to death. It all starts with beating.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-701925.0.html

And I also hope you read this, it all started with beatings.

last_apostle:

let me assume the poster is my ex-date and she called me to intimate me that i have ignorantly contributed to my present predicament. the poster is not known to me but i believe that since my ex date is in lagos now,she must have influence this post through a faceless nairalander. initially when i read the post,everything looks so real to my circumstances until the poster begin to say things not in place as akind my experiences, lets assume the poster is my troublesome ex date and deals with the issue in a defensive posture. i stays in port harcourt and believe this post originated from lagos the present abode of this unrepentant woman wolf. i begin to go through all the posts again when she called me and was fascinated by the out pouring of emotions expressed by concern contributors. i equally envisage the mind sets of all contributors and drew my contributions as thus,some are gifted in counselling,others manipulates their psychological prowess and mature presentation while others were emphatically naive to reality hence fueling animosity through their short sighted approach and over bearing tantrum of self delusions. basically,i never intend to join issues with her not in public save save electronic medium but this the jet age hence this re-joiner in the nairaland forum to put the record straight as requested by concern contributors.
this topic attracted so much elucidated sentiments i have to tell the honest truth so everyone would have positive mindset rather than myopic and unfounded sentiments. i actually met the poster in late 2007 when she was on an industrial attachment and stays wit a cousin of hers and we became instantly attached. few month later,we started seeing and i was there for her measuring in every respect.i never douths her love now i know it was infatuation built on fantasy. she later had an unending issue with her cousin and i accepted to accommodate her to enable her complete her pro grammes,sooner she moves in,she started making troubles,nag and becomes quarrelsome.initially,i thought it was education stress but i was wrong as she became violent and shout at me at any opportunity. it gradually developed into assaults she locked me behind closed doors and gives me the beating of my life. somethings she tore me to shred and after beating the day light in me invite my friends over for mock feast.too bad. she reign curses and abuse on me including my families and disgraces me in the neighborhood. people begin to treat me with disdain and disrespect and i always moves in shame.there is this day it became unbearable and i slapped her cos she say am an insignificant brat to talk to her. that she must not listen to me but men of high repute like her professor this,professor that and her co travelers in the pharmacy discipline. she is too proud,pompous and lack dignity.she is worse than a LovePeddler.she slap me back after that incident and we really had issues. i then decided never to touch her again but instead of stopping,it graduated to her battering me. shes slaps me at any provocation,always daring and confrontational and never yielding. she is stubborn,hot tempered,short and really irritating in character and disposition. i stop sleeping with her when she accused me of infecting her with the deadly virus HIV even at a busy street she held me and was shouting i gave her the dreaded disease. after proper test it was found untrue and she never ever apologies. whenever i scold her or say something,she slap my mouth or ask me to shut up. sometime i just slap back to remind her she must nt touch me. in all this circumstances,i do always come out brushed,bitten and molested. sometime she confront me with dangerous objects like kitchen knives,bottles,any thing in sight dangerous. she always destroy my properties in her outrages. she is nt contended and see men all the times. if i confront her,she always tell me the are his friends nothing more yet the take her outing,buy her gifts,including blackberry and i pod. she lies alot and wot makes me finally drove her is she lied to me she was going to her school over a particular weekend only for one of her male client to flow her to abuja and bleeped her severally and parcel and sent her back to me. when i confronted her,she lied she went to process a visa in a weekend day in abuja. i guess that was a Satan embassy. she lie,lies and lied alot. in all of this,i have never ever bruised her. never have i slapped her twice,never. all those allegation was a smokescreen to give the post coloration and credibility. in all honesty,am the one who always comes out of this disturbances, bruised and battered. once i nearly lost my manhood,she bites a lot and would not stop until she inflict bruises on me seeing blood all over me. upon all this,i still see her through her education,kept her in my house,protect,feed and properly take care of her yet she is insatiable and runs after rich men. only of his client facilitated my arrest and detaining in a police cell because i went asking for my house keys. such is the lifestyle and pathetic sorry of this tormentor. finally,i never beg her,only ask her to stop her violence as it contradict my lifestyle. am a reserved guy and an introvert. i do not need trouble

my apologies to you if i said anything amiss, u are correct her story is one-sided. i hope all is well with you and you have been able to put this behind you (both of you). you have been able to meet someone else who treats you well and allows you to be yourself in an unharrassed, peaceful and loving environment. both you and she deserve peace and happiness. it is my wish for you that you find it.

I am so sorry for what you have been through and what you are going thru.He has problems and it isn't ur job to fix him pls let him go before your story becomes dat of d gal in skye bank. Thank heavens u guys are not married.

last_apostle:

let me assume the poster is my ex-date and she called me to intimate me that i have ignorantly contributed to my present predicament. the poster is not known to me but i believe that since my ex date is in lagos now,she must have influence this post through a faceless nairalander. initially when i read the post,everything looks so real to my circumstances until the poster begin to say things not in place as akind my experiences, lets assume the poster is my troublesome ex date and deals with the issue in a defensive posture. i stays in port harcourt and believe this post originated from lagos the present abode of this unrepentant woman wolf. i begin to go through all the posts again when she called me and was fascinated by the out pouring of emotions expressed by concern contributors. i equally envisage the mind sets of all contributors and drew my contributions as thus,some are gifted in counselling,others manipulates their psychological prowess and mature presentation while others were emphatically naive to reality hence fueling animosity through their short sighted approach and over bearing tantrum of self delusions. basically,i never intend to join issues with her not in public save save electronic medium but this the jet age hence this re-joiner in the nairaland forum to put the record straight as requested by concern contributors.
this topic attracted so much elucidated sentiments i have to tell the honest truth so everyone would have positive mindset rather than myopic and unfounded sentiments. i actually met the poster in late 2007 when she was on an industrial attachment and stays wit a cousin of hers and we became instantly attached. few month later,we started seeing and i was there for her measuring in every respect.i never douths her love now i know it was infatuation built on fantasy. she later had an unending issue with her cousin and i accepted to accommodate her to enable her complete her pro grammes,sooner she moves in,she started making troubles,nag and becomes quarrelsome.initially,i thought it was education stress but i was wrong as she became violent and shout at me at any opportunity. it gradually developed into assaults she locked me behind closed doors and gives me the beating of my life. somethings she tore me to shred and after beating the day light in me invite my friends over for mock feast.too bad. she reign curses and abuse on me including my families and disgraces me in the neighborhood. people begin to treat me with disdain and disrespect and i always moves in shame.there is this day it became unbearable and i slapped her cos she say am an insignificant brat to talk to her. that she must not listen to me but men of high repute like her professor this,professor that and her co travelers in the pharmacy discipline. she is too proud,pompous and lack dignity.she is worse than a LovePeddler.she slap me back after that incident and we really had issues. i then decided never to touch her again but instead of stopping,it graduated to her battering me. shes slaps me at any provocation,always daring and confrontational and never yielding. she is stubborn,hot tempered,short and really irritating in character and disposition. i stop sleeping with her when she accused me of infecting her with the deadly virus HIV even at a busy street she held me and was shouting i gave her the dreaded disease. after proper test it was found untrue and she never ever apologies. whenever i scold her or say something,she slap my mouth or ask me to shut up. sometime i just slap back to remind her she must nt touch me. in all this circumstances,i do always come out brushed,bitten and molested. sometime she confront me with dangerous objects like kitchen knives,bottles,any thing in sight dangerous. she always destroy my properties in her outrages. she is nt contended and see men all the times. if i confront her,she always tell me the are his friends nothing more yet the take her outing,buy her gifts,including blackberry and i pod. she lies alot and wot makes me finally drove her is she lied to me she was going to her school over a particular weekend only for one of her male client to flow her to abuja and bleeped her severally and parcel and sent her back to me. when i confronted her,she lied she went to process a visa in a weekend day in abuja. i guess that was a Satan embassy. she lie,lies and lied alot. in all of this,i have never ever bruised her. never have i slapped her twice,never. all those allegation was a smokescreen to give the post coloration and credibility. in all honesty,am the one who always comes out of this disturbances, bruised and battered. once i nearly lost my manhood,she bites a lot and would not stop until she inflict bruises on me seeing blood all over me. upon all this,i still see her through her education,kept her in my house,protect,feed and properly take care of her yet she is insatiable and runs after rich men. only of his client facilitated my arrest and detaining in a police cell because i went asking for my house keys. such is the lifestyle and pathetic sorry of this tormentor. finally,i never beg her,only ask her to stop her violence as it contradict my lifestyle. am a reserved guy and an introvert. i do not need trouble

If this is true i hail o you get mind. I do hope however that you have let go of eachother you deserve better.

since u dont wanna leave him, then prepare for death

last_apostle:

let me assume the poster is my ex-date and she called me to intimate me that i have ignorantly contributed to my present predicament. the poster is not known to me but i believe that since my ex date is in lagos now,she must have influence this post through a faceless nairalander. initially when i read the post,everything looks so real to my circumstances until the poster begin to say things not in place as akind my experiences, lets assume the poster is my troublesome ex date and deals with the issue in a defensive posture. i stays in port harcourt and believe this post originated from lagos the present abode of this unrepentant woman wolf. i begin to go through all the posts again when she called me and was fascinated by the out pouring of emotions expressed by concern contributors. i equally envisage the mind sets of all contributors and drew my contributions as thus,some are gifted in counselling,others manipulates their psychological prowess and mature presentation while others were emphatically naive to reality hence fueling animosity through their short sighted approach and over bearing tantrum of self delusions. basically,i never intend to join issues with her not in public save save electronic medium but this the jet age hence this re-joiner in the nairaland forum to put the record straight as requested by concern contributors.
this topic attracted so much elucidated sentiments i have to tell the honest truth so everyone would have positive mindset rather than myopic and unfounded sentiments. i actually met the poster in late 2007 when she was on an industrial attachment and stays wit a cousin of hers and we became instantly attached. few month later,we started seeing and i was there for her measuring in every respect.i never douths her love now i know it was infatuation built on fantasy. she later had an unending issue with her cousin and i accepted to accommodate her to enable her complete her pro grammes,sooner she moves in,she started making troubles,nag and becomes quarrelsome.initially,i thought it was education stress but i was wrong as she became violent and shout at me at any opportunity. it gradually developed into assaults she locked me behind closed doors and gives me the beating of my life. somethings she tore me to shred and after beating the day light in me invite my friends over for mock feast.too bad. she reign curses and abuse on me including my families and disgraces me in the neighborhood. people begin to treat me with disdain and disrespect and i always moves in shame.there is this day it became unbearable and i slapped her cos she say am an insignificant brat to talk to her. that she must not listen to me but men of high repute like her professor this,professor that and her co travelers in the pharmacy discipline. she is too proud,pompous and lack dignity.she is worse than a LovePeddler.she slap me back after that incident and we really had issues. i then decided never to touch her again but instead of stopping,it graduated to her battering me. shes slaps me at any provocation,always daring and confrontational and never yielding. she is stubborn,hot tempered,short and really irritating in character and disposition. i stop sleeping with her when she accused me of infecting her with the deadly virus HIV even at a busy street she held me and was shouting i gave her the dreaded disease. after proper test it was found untrue and she never ever apologies. whenever i scold her or say something,she slap my mouth or ask me to shut up. sometime i just slap back to remind her she must nt touch me. in all this circumstances,i do always come out brushed,bitten and molested. sometime she confront me with dangerous objects like kitchen knives,bottles,any thing in sight dangerous. she always destroy my properties in her outrages. she is nt contended and see men all the times. if i confront her,she always tell me the are his friends nothing more yet the take her outing,buy her gifts,including blackberry and i pod. she lies alot and wot makes me finally drove her is she lied to me she was going to her school over a particular weekend only for one of her male client to flow her to abuja and bleeped her severally and parcel and sent her back to me. when i confronted her,she lied she went to process a visa in a weekend day in abuja. i guess that was a Satan embassy. she lie,lies and lied alot. in all of this,i have never ever bruised her. never have i slapped her twice,never. all those allegation was a smokescreen to give the post coloration and credibility. in all honesty,am the one who always comes out of this disturbances, bruised and battered. once i nearly lost my manhood,she bites a lot and would not stop until she inflict bruises on me seeing blood all over me. upon all this,i still see her through her education,kept her in my house,protect,feed and properly take care of her yet she is insatiable and runs after rich men. only of his client facilitated my arrest and detaining in a police cell because i went asking for my house keys. such is the lifestyle and pathetic sorry of this tormentor. finally,i never beg her,only ask her to stop her violence as it contradict my lifestyle. am a reserved guy and an introvert. i do not need trouble

re u a man or a woman??

^^Did I not ask you to go play with your action figures?

kandiikane:

^^Did I not ask you to go play with your action figures?

is this what you do when u re bored?

No, but that is what you should be doing

Pls ma, i've a questn 4u. Can u tell dis 2ya mum or dad? Jxt imagine hw dey wl react 2 it. Thank God u re stil alive 2tell d story. Do u rlly knw wat luv is? Pls u rlly nid 2tink abt ya life, I knw u've made up ya mind nt 2leave d dude bt remember a broken courtshp is betta dan a brokn marriage! Use ya head ma sista.

@OP,

A woman just lost her life few days ago to an abuser. It happens everyday, lives are lost to spousal abuse.

Are you brave enough to use reverse psychology on him?

Wake up one morning and just sit on the edge of bed and begin sobbing. If he ask what's wrong, tell him you are tired and you want to die.

That takes control out of his hand. So he will respond by now trying to regain control in the opposite direction - keep you alive!

young woman i read ur piece and i cannot imagine in totality what u are going thru.Ths is what i av 2 say
1.ur love 4 him is out of pity,that he might one day change but the truth is he may likely not change as long as he has issues which u cannot solve.
2 every1 involved in one sided or abusive relationship mostly end up dead or the abusive partner found dead.
3.4rm ur piece. ur correct about the answer 2 ur problem.That is to leave him but u are battling in your mind about the whole outcome in terms of what u av put in.
4.That u ar alive is by far more profitable than any amount of investment u av put in an abusive relationship
5.PLs 4 everything dear 2 u and 4 all of what GOD has endaered u to be in life.LEAVE AND GET HELP & UR SELF FIRST.U ARE SERIOUSLY BRUISED.

@Op, Your story sounds a little bit weird.How could he lay his hands on you and still claim to love you?

Are you still ALIVE and STILL with the fool Or have you seen sense ?

Please let go of him before he makes good his threat. You may still love him but he has does not love you anymore. No sacrifice in a relationship is worth your life.

Hahahahaha,make u dey dia till u end up 6 feet unda d ground,gudluck.

One question: Is what you put into the relationship worth your life?
If you value your life you would leave before you lose it.