@poster,
I am glad you said the relationship started well until recently. Don't be confused cos you have but only one way to solving your problem, That is God's intervention. The satanic spirit of killing envelops a man via anger and leaves him immediately he accomplished the devilish act. Thats the more reason you will hear something like" A man strangled his wife, and was begging and crying for help and things like that.

You need to seriously seek God's intervention by consulting a good man of God since it implies that you can not do without this guy.
Secondly, you must let good people around you to know what u are passing through. Those that will "interfer" before us nairalanders

Finally to be honest, you need to reduce your level of commitment in the relationship until a practical solution is seen.
Consult your pastor and be guided. With God all things are possible. Thanks

aribisala0's comment,

it also depends on whose  daughter you marry if you beat baba iyabo's daughter you no go fit laav for long time

Abeg say something else. Anybody lady can be handled as far as they have someone they answer to. An insight to "The Godfather" (Al Pacino'c classic) will let you know that anything can happen but sometimes, it is not always jolly for the wife/woman beater.

ferdiii's comment,

women don't like being beat while men don't like being put down with words and behavior.So if you don't like this, don't do that.However women feel men should suck all up but forget throw-ups are on them.A cycle huh!

Lies!
Conduct a real survey and you'll have SOME ladies who tell you they love it when they get hit by their BFs/HUSBANDs because of the aftermath sorry after sex and fact is I know of someone who confessed to this.

@Ranoscky and Harakiri,

Nice points you've outlined and the annoying ish is many readers in here will take you for your comments and reason you to be a lady beater just because you decided to be on the fence and apportion blames in the right quarters. Never back down for a cause even if you stand alone and some heads out there know the truth but would rather be blind to see.

Yes, a real man must never hit a woman, I advocate for that 100% (but what of a woman that beats a man?---I guess the man is stupid or must be a weakling, right?) All these so-called online FEMALE activist on NL think say na bread and butter matter be dis. See how the guy has been made to look evil (he might be, who knows) but have refused to see the flaws of the lady for her daring moves and insults because she sees herself and her bobo as equals. Harakiri pointed out early that would someone in the right frame of mind come to his comfort zone (his house/home) looking for a fight? Some women out there are really nasty and they are the ones that should be changed but would they ever considered themselves to be looked into? The said beater's flaw is having an uncontrollable temper and who knows, he might have tried to exhibit control from the beginning and finally gave up. And since he successfully landed her some beatings in the first place, he saw a reason to continue when things went out of hand. (A situation the same complainer placed herself) What stopped her from rushing out of it when it first happened or when it fourth happened? His golden prick as long as his height and your investments (only God knows what) keeps drawing you back like a magnet. OP, you don't have a life of your own as no real independent lady would be subjected to what you are in. (Maybe you're ashamed of your friends laughing at you when you're out of his house and back at your parents' but remember it is better to be laughed at while at your parents' or your friend's than to be cried for when you're in a sack---you sure say dem go use coffin for you?)

And to all the guys who take pleasure in causing harm to women for no just reason and even for a just reason (when you can look for an escape route to seeing calm restored), remember, your time is nigh as you'd be paid in your own coin. Make una go find una mate for outside or try to register in KING OF THE CAGE. These women are fragile no matter how strong they claim to be, it is somewhat in their nature or DNA to "fight to finish" with their mouth. Ignore them!

The best form of dealing with a lady like a friend tagged it is "SILENT TREATMENT" (never knew that) and I tell you, it works. But over time, you should try to discuss the issues that caused problems in the beginning and make sure its ugly head isn't seen but if all you have is problems and shouts (quarrels) than love, stop deceiving the evil spirit in yourselves and SPLIT WAYS!

Nuff said!

@Poster

"I know he still loves me and has realized the horrible things he has done. Is there a chance for him to change? Should i go back to him?
I know most of you will tell me to leave him but it's not that easy, the commitment and the sacrifice i have made in this relationship would not make that so easy for me. And above all, i love him so much! Am perplexed"


Damn, someone who whoops you regularly DOES NOT LOVE YOU!!!!!

Well, as I always say, there are always two sides to an a$$-whooping.

But,

If you don't have children with him, then, RUN!!! Run and don't look back. Just cut your losses and keep it moving. Appreciate the fact that you are not married nor have any children for him.

But understand this, YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM!!!! He is how he his for whatever reason, but whatever the reason is NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!!!! You can only change yourself and you can start by leaving. You'll feel much better down the line.

Unless you think this is what you deserve, and in that case you don't get any sympathy.

Good luck.

really dear, you still love him and he still loves you, awhhhh dats so sweet, well LET HIM BEAT the[b] BAD THINGS HE SEES OUT OF YOU [/b] >>then you ur sef wait to see if there is any[b] GOOD [/b] thing remaining in your life, i.e Phyiscally , mentally, socially, financially, spiritually, e.tc.

I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND , Its doesnt make any sense, to be beaten and loved at the same time ,
i will pray for you ,

And after that you are still with him?

Girl , when a man beat you one time just take your things and run!

No woman need that kind of man

I know he still loves me and has realized the horrible things he has done. Is there a chance for him to change? Should i go back to him?
I know most of you will tell me to leave him but it's not that easy, the commitment and the sacrifice i have made in this relationship would not make that so easy for me. And above all, i love him so much! Am perplexed.

You seem to want to live in delusion. What is your definition of love? How do you measure it? The commitment and sacrifice you have made should actually instruct you to waste no further of yourself before it is too late. If arguments bring such reactions when you are not married, you need to ask married people how often they argue and how violent it can get atimes. In all, I don't envy you nor admire the behavior of the brute you call boyfriend.

Katy86:



And after that you are still with him?

Girl , when a man beat you one time just take your things and run!

No woman need that kind of man

LOL but most of them flock to that kind of man, that's why I just sit back and laugh at them when they literally get what they ask for.
The only people I feel sorry for are the children who are born into these situations.

, RUN FOR UR LIFE, its not worth it,

i just treated a young lady who was beaten to a comatose state by her "lover",
the cycle of violence never ends,

@kofsy,

ever seen a married dead woman. Nobody that is dead stays married. I think it is better to be single and alive!!
trust me, a womanbeater is the worst of men. They never change!! Just see all ur sacrifices as u did it for GOD.

good luck

This ur kin love go kill u OOO!. A word is enough for the wise o my dear sister.

u beta not wait till his 'klitschko' samuel peter you b4 u realize that u've become 'past-tense' in his life. . . . . . if u want to really die must he Be ur killer??

The poster aint serious yet until one punch of his boyfriend land her in coma for 5months then she'll definately understand that the best solution is to leave.

HI DEARIE(KOFSY)
I dont know you, do i care to know you ? may be. you are definitely in a wrong relationship. how dare you love a beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? i cant even imagine raising my voice on my girlfriend, she would start weeping, and someone is about to kill you and you talk about love? you are dating a killer . advice: RUN!!!!!RUN!!!!!!RUN!! END it before he ends you.

Advising you would be a waste of time. I think you have already had enough.

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
- Helen Keller

You are a free being, girl friend.  

If you believe you are worth more than being a victim to a coward whose ego has been so overly punctured by his environment and who has recently come to the conclusion of finding a release in taking it out on his supposed 'loved one' who has also failed to understand him, you.
Make up your mind, abandon him in his sorry state, and flow with the wind; but you would have created a monster on the loose.

Else, if you believe you can truly love this guy, and not taunt him.
If you can be his refuge and home, and not his mirror.
If you can command his respect for you and not demand it.
If you can make him to be confident in himself and his achievements.
If you can make him important before others, and play your role down.
If you can make him an entrepreneur and not an employee.
If you can sacrifice your life for his.
Then you've gained a soul and made a better husband, father, brother, son, neighbor and citizen.

More so, you've created Love. Be wise, Sister.

Life is not measured by what we get, but truly by what we give.

You should thank your star that you came out alive to tell the story, you might never be this lucky the next time he lays his hand on you (if you give him the chance to) a man that beats his girlfriend/wife/fiancee is a mad man because he become the head and you his body. he indirectly beats himself whne he does that. Iff I were you, however hard it might be, dump him and move on, you deserve better. I would get him arrested if it happened to me. Good luck in whatever decision you make. And mind you, if you marry him, he will get worse.

well, u av well said but I need to ask u a question. Do u intend that your realtioship with this guy ends up in marriage or u guys are just together for the fun of being together? If u really intend to marry him, I suggest u break away fro him for a while even if u won't enter into another relationship but just stay away from him. If a man really loves a woman, he should treat her adorably and with love not beating her. I u go on like this and end up in marriage,  u know u are joined to him for life and u endure it till both or either of u goes out. I will say reconsider your choice and make a wise one. give him a break and possibly let go finally

Nne,
You are lucky enough to air your story through this medium. The guy in question has a serious psychological problem.
The guy grabbed your neck, shook you, threw you to the floor, put the pillow over your face, nearly suffocated you.
Can't you see that the violence is progressing?
Common!
HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU. He may not even realize it until it is too late. The investment you made in the relationship is meaningless, unless you are alive to reap the reward.
With all that said, the best love you can give him now is  urging him through somebody else to go get help. Tell him to do that if he loves you. If he loves you and himself, he will go and get help. Until then your life is in danger any time you are around him.
Remember this
You build your Home with Wisdom and Live in it with Understanding.

i guess its when its finally too late that people realize they should have walked out from day one. SMH.

Thank you 190

sledge406:

aribisala0's comment,
@Ranoscky and Harakiri,

Nice points you've outlined and the annoying ish is many readers in here will take you for your comments and reason you to be a lady beater just because you decided to be on the fence and apportion blames in the right quarters. Never back down for a cause even if you stand alone and some heads out there know the truth but would rather be blind to see.

Thanx man, big ups!

That is me for EVERYONE! I dont back down at something that I know is right and, I say things the way they are!

sledge406:

aribisala0's comment,

Abeg say something else. Anybody lady can be handled as far as they have someone they answer to. An insight to "The Godfather" (Al Pacino'c classic) will let you know that anything can happen but sometimes, it is not always jolly for the wife/woman beater.

ferdiii's comment,
Lies!
Conduct a real survey and you'll have SOME ladies who tell you they love it when they get hit by their BFs/HUSBANDs because of the aftermath sorry after sex and fact is I know of someone who confessed to this.

@Ranoscky and Harakiri,

Nice points you've outlined and the annoying ish is many readers in here will take you for your comments and reason you to be a lady beater just because you decided to be on the fence and apportion blames in the right quarters. Never back down for a cause even if you stand alone and some heads out there know the truth but would rather be blind to see.

Yes, a real man must never hit a woman, I advocate for that 100% (but what of a woman that beats a man?---I guess the man is silly or must be a weakling, right?) All these so-called online FEMALE activist on NL think say na bread and butter matter be dis. See how the guy has been made to look evil (he might be, who knows) but have refused to see the flaws of the lady for her daring moves and insults because she sees herself and her bobo as equals. Harakiri pointed out early that would someone in the right frame of mind come to his comfort zone (his house/home) looking for a fight? Some women out there are really nasty and they are the ones that should be changed but would they ever considered themselves to be looked into? The said beater's flaw is having an uncontrollable temper and who knows, he might have tried to exhibit control from the beginning and finally gave up. And since he successfully landed her some beatings in the first place, he saw a reason to continue when things went out of hand. (A situation the same complainer placed herself) What stopped her from rushing out of it when it first happened or when it fourth happened? His golden prick as long as his height and your investments (only God knows what) keeps drawing you back like a magnet. OP, you don't have a life of your own as no real independent lady would be subjected to what you are in. (Maybe you're ashamed of your friends laughing at you when you're out of his house and back at your parents' but remember it is better to be laughed at while at your parents' or your friend's than to be cried for when you're in a sack---you sure say dem go use coffin for you?)

And to all the guys who take pleasure in causing harm to women for no just reason and even for a just reason (when you can look for an escape route to seeing calm restored), remember, your time is nigh as you'd be paid in your own coin. Make una go find una mate for outside or try to register in KING OF THE CAGE. These women are fragile no matter how strong they claim to be, it is somewhat in their nature or DNA to "fight to finish" with their mouth. Ignore them!

The best form of dealing with a lady like a friend tagged it is "SILENT TREATMENT" (never knew that) and I tell you, it works. But over time, you should try to discuss the issues that caused problems in the beginning and make sure its ugly head isn't seen but if all you have is problems and shouts (quarrels) than love, stop deceiving the evil spirit in yourselves and SPLIT WAYS!

Nuff said!

Bros, infact, I dont just know what to say to you but, may you live long (the embolded line above)!!!
That is what ALL (but just FEW) posters on here FAIL to see but decided making CLUELESS conclussion and advice.
The most funny thing is that, they all went thru the OP's write up and were stil advicing her to leave the relationship without seeing and commenting about the true picture. smh!

Now, every1 are advicing her to leave the guy instead of telling her to her face point blank period that she was the cause of her being battered and should work on herself/attitude. Believe you me, If she eventually leaves that guy and start dating another, she will DEFINITELLY continue her 'shaddy' attitude (daring, abussive, stubbornness etc) with the new guy, and if the new guy is very much hot tempered and som1 that doesnt tolerate such nonsense, who knows what the outcome of the 1st beating would be (God forbid tho)?
The boyfriend now is being crucified and branded different kinds of names here while the hand writting is written there on the wall for WE ALL to see (but unfortunately, som turned blind eye). 

OP, just like I said before, your BF is a better guy (who knows?), YOU is the cause of you being beating and treated like an animal b'cos of your shaddy attitude. Go check on yourself gal, you gat more work to do on yourself!

[size=8pt][/size][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]
Let me start by sayin dt Fstrange Ãήϑ one oda fool -neonet or wat r idiots.
 would personally kill yu if i set ♍ƺ eyes on Ɣ☺ΰ‎​‎​!
Wat kind of disturbed fools are Ɣ☺ΰ‎​‎​? Just seekin attention! Ūя̲̅ probably very ugly virgins anyway. Assholes!

Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate it. God bless you all. But you really wouldn't know how i feel unless you have been through it. I guess am thinking he would change because i am sincerly happy when we are not in such arguments and may be i am always hoping that he will change for good. It gets annoying and sometimes i ask myself if i just love him out of habit.
I used to think, love is when you've seen the best and worst of someone, yet you still love them for who they are. I now see from another perspective after reading all your comments. This is the hardest decision i will ever take in my life. I have never loved anyone else in my life. Its like am losing my closest friend. Can't imagine how i will cope without him. Please pray for me!

My dear you may still love him, but he doesn't love you anymore, it takes two to have a successful relationship. See if it happened once, then it's happensake, no one is perfect, twice then hmm, more than that then it's become the norm.

You have 2 choices
1. You need to step, it's an age old story, leave now, be glad there are no children to think about and just leave.

2. On the other hand stay, and accept that he will beat you from time to time, modify your life and start calling him sir, don't argue or talk back, his word is law, he can bring strange women home and you can cook for them both and wash her panties when asked. O and any children you have will be abused as well.

Your choice.

Nikkimono:

[size=8pt][/size][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]
Let me start by sayin dt Fstrange Ãήϑ one oda fool -neonet or wat r idiots.
 would personally kill yu if i set ♍ƺ eyes on Ɣ☺ΰ‎​‎​!
Wat kind of disturbed fools are Ɣ☺ΰ‎​‎​? Just seekin attention! Ūя̲̅ probably very ugly virgins anyway. Assholes!

You been a nasty little tart aint'cha.

@Ranoscky. . .Great yarns bruv. Kudos!!!
"Let 'em who have eyes read" else na 6 feet under na im get dem.

Yup! He loves you so so so MuCH! Pleaseee stick around till he kills you! thAt WaY hE'll HaVe provEN HiS uNDyINg LoVE fOR yOu!!!

Quote from Nekai: The only intelligent snipets of your entire post. If she is abusing him sooo much by daring and provoking him, and since he cannot have PEACE OF MIND with her around, then why doesn't he walk away and dump her? Surely, as a man who is not prone to violence, you cannot seriously believe that he is handling this situation correctly?

See the answer to your question. Quote from OP: "Then he said 'get out of my house', I SAID NO!

What say you about that?

Stupid thread stay nah while seeking 4 advise

d bloke don tire of ur toto. . . . . giv him chance to xplore more. . . . sincerely, u must not be as dumb as ur posts suggested   . . .or ar u??

Stupid thread stay nah while seeking 4 advise

The poster is obviously enjoying the beating. Especially the make up sex. Make she stay put and endure!