No for mothers, better getting married to someone who loves you more than you do, that's a summary.

Sometimes, the person you love might be a jerk and not be a good husband, and aslo the person that loves you might not also make a good husband, that is why some women wonder along the road what happened to this man, he has changed suddenly. The best person for you to marry, is somebody that loves and[b] cares[/b] for you, infact especially cares, because the caring part would always bring out the love he has for you, and he could do anything for you, your kids and family.

Nayah:

No for mothers, better getting married to someone who loves you more than you do, that's a summary.

What are you, 12? .Marry someone who tolerates your bullsh1t,no one marrys for love, you marry someone who is compatible, seems like you are going to have quite a hard experience if you dont ingrain this advice into your skull.

Kabuka, you should re read my position and the conversation before being agressive.

Why cant it be a mutual thing? both being crazy about each other.

Nayah:

Kabuka, you should re read my position and the conversation before being agressive.

I already tried to, Oprah, but I couldn't gather much from the gibberish you posted, had to break out the Google translate, heh,heh.

Why r u picking on the girl Mr?
The thread title is self explanatory don't you think?

Bamosagie, because nowadays relashionship are different, societies are changing. Before people used to have more respect for marriage and living in couple , nowadays it's totally different. Most of time people calculate now unfortunately.

Jay bee hi, leave people express themselves, even the narrow minded this what it makes world, the most important is talking with serious people the rest,

@ topic

Thats a little tad selfish.

And how does that guarantee a happy marriage?  You are operating on the wrong premise that someone loving and cherishing you ultimately leads to a successful a marriage. Have u ever heard of the term unrequited love? 

First off,

Your profile pix is simply stunning.
Quite bold of you to put your face up there in your profile with all the 'not too nice' wolves prowling around NL.

However, on the poser -
I think I'll go for the first one. You can never be more certain about another person as you would yourself so its less risky.

This song (my favorite song this year) from Mark Shultz reminds me of what its like to love someone for a lifetime - simple beautiful

[flash=350,350]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ODSx0UfAcA&hl=en
[/flash]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ODSx0UfAcA



BTW, you said you aint Nigerian, may I ask where you from ?

Basseti there's no perfect plan to suceed his marriage, but here it's about balance again I explain myself, I'm not talking about following someone you really don't want or something, but some elders have experienced many people misunderstand marriage and passion, marriage it's more commitment and patience than passion . And yes better being with someone who cherished,respect you and make you shine, even you don't love him at the same level, than running after passion and realized your partner doesn't feel the same. Trust me reality is different from what we all dream about.

Nayah:

Basseti there's no perfect plan to suceed his marriage, but here it's about balance again I explain myself, I'm not talking about following someone you really don't want or something, but some elders have experienced many people misunderstand marriage and passion, marriage it's more commitment and patience than passion . And yes better being with someone who cherished,respect you and make you shine, even you don't love him at the same level, than running after passion and realized your partner doesn't feel the same. Trust me reality is different from what we all dream about.

Your terms are getting confusing.

I was responding to the title of the thread that suggests getting married to some you dont LOVE.

Now you are talking about passion. That got me confused. I dont think passion and love are the same, do you?

I seem to have problems embedding the video above let me try it again




First off,

Your profile pix is simply stunning.
Quite bold of you to put your face up there in your profile with all the 'not too nice' wolves prowling around NL.

However, on the poser -
I think I'll go for the first one. You can never be more certain about another person as you would yourself so its less risky.

This song (my favorite song this year) from Mark Shultz reminds me of what its like to love someone for a lifetime - simple beautiful

[flash=350,350]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ODSx0UfAcA&hl=en
[/flash]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ODSx0UfAcA



BTW, you said you aint Nigerian, may I ask where you from ?

No Basseti I'm not confused you don't understand re read my post I didn't say don't married someone you don't love, I say getting married to someone who loves you, that means better being with someone who really cares and respect you than the contrary, now when I talk about passion, I talk about the love that some people put on table here and the thing is when you're living with someone this" big love" you used to display during the very first years is dicreasing after. Plus in a couple everybody knows there always one who loves more.

Pak thanks for your contribution, and yes I'm originally a Cameroonian lady.

pak!!!!! Thanks for posting this song. Def one of my favs! Being a while since I heard it. Thanks!!! Jus made my day!!!

Nayah:

now when I talk about passion, I talk about the love that some people put on table here and the thing is when you're living with someone this" big love" you used to display during the very first years is dicreasing after. Plus in a couple everybody knows there always one who loves

I have no idea what you just said  

Basseti, to be clear cause you seem to be the only one who doesn't understand my point: Marriage and date are completely different! Marriage is more about cohabitation and patience than LOVE as people think.

oh btw, @topic: hmmm This is a tricky one. I feel like there should be love from both parties. I would def marry someone who truly loves and cares about me etc but at the same time, it is only normal for that to be reciprocated. How can someone love me so much and I wont love the person back? Impossible. It is out of love that we love, respect, care etc. If you cant stand the person and all that then there is no point marrying them even if they love you with all the love in the world. It has to be reciprocal unless you are trying to be unhappy for the rest of ur life.

Both If am goin 2 b tied dwn 4 d rest of my life to 1 man, I have 2 b madly n luv wit him & I expect d same n return. Any oda tin will make life a living hell

Sista again I said I'm not talking about having no FEELINGS for the person but to have a good marriage you could not loving him as hell, but suceed your marriage with someone who make you feel a real woman/ man. Klear as you said, you "expect",

Nayah:

Sista again I said I'm not talking about having no FEELINGS for the person but to have a good marriage you could not loving him as hell, but suceed your marriage with someone who make you feel a real woman/ man. Klear as you said, you "expect",

Ok I'm not sure I understand this.

Egba just read JAY BEE who understood my statement then you will.

@Nayah

I feel your view point.

Reminds me of a girl I met who complained that every guy she had fallen in love with never really reciprocated her love while there r lot of guys running after without her being interested.

Hope you are not the person this whole thread is about cos . . . . . ?

Egba girl:

Ok I'm not sure I understand this.

I thot I was the only one dense enough not to understand her angle 


Jaybee must have some some really high level of comprehension 

Basseti same for pak it seems, lol

Pak no this is not about me,

I disagree. There really isn't any difference btw marrying someone who loves you vs marrying someone you love. They are both the same thing except the shoe is on the other leg. Its just a case of who has the advantage or control in the relationship, the person without the love.


If you marry someone who you love, and doesn't love you back, at some point in the future, the person will meet someone he/she loves and leave you for that person. In the same way, if you marry someone who loves you ,and you don't love, when you meet someone who loves you, it might take time, but you will eventually leave for the one you love.

You might stay for as long as you like, but you start to resent your partner. You start to find faults with everything he /she does. You start comparing what each person does for you and how you made the biggest mistake of your life marrying your partner. Eventually you will convince yourself that it is not too late to make amends and go for who you love.



You have to marry someone who has the passion and love for you, just as you have the passion and love for the person back.

For starters, try dating someone you love who doesn't love you back. Then try dating someone who loves you but you don't love. Lets assume both in the case are really good men/women.

See if it works.

I expect in both cases, it will not work. Relationship is a lot of stress, and the love of both people involved is what gives them the motivation to iron out their issues sometimes.

Basseti:

I thot I was the only one dense enough not to understand her angle 


Jaybee must have some some really high level of comprehension 

hahhahaaaha i mean i thought i got it until she replied klept and then i lost it.

deniyor:

For starters, try dating someone you love who doesn't love you back. Then try dating someone who loves you but you don't love. Lets assume both in the case are really good men/women.

See if it works.

I expect in both cases, it will not work. Relationship is a lot of stress, and the love of both people involved is what gives them the motivation to iron out their issues sometimes.

@Deniyor
though I understand what u r saying but i dont agree with it.
In an ideal world both parties will love each other equally but the earth aint a perfect sphere.

So the issue is if you had to make do with either of the two situations in the poser ? what will be the best option ?

Exactly Pak, reality is different from what we're all dreaming about, and life show us this everyday.

Which would u prefer marrying someone who loves u, or marrying someone u love that doesn't love uits hard finding someone that really loves u, when u do, take advantage of it. Find wat u don't "love" about the person and change it to wat u love. If he loves u that much, he'll change to wat u love. except he is the devil, the devil can definitely not love u. Learn to love him even if it means "recreating" hi. its a rear gem,