I will like to give you guys an illustration here. In November, a corp member asked me to allow her stay in my apartment for a few weeks. I allowed her. During the whole time she was with me , before she went home for the christmas break, she was not cleaning the apartment. She dont cook or clean. Goes out and comes in as she likes! I hated it but i had to allow her cos i had agreed to her staying. After the christmas break, she still came to ask for more permission to stay longer. Hmmmnnn, I accepted thinking she would leave very soon. I started cooking proper in my house, This girl still cant cook or wash the plates she uses to eat. I didnt like that about her but i refusd to force her to do it. i decided to clean and do the right things cos IT IS MY HOUSE! I liked her for company and jist and seeing of movies but i didnt like some of her behaviours. Now, she'll be staying with me till she finishes NYSC. She still dont cook cos she dont like it. I had to give her reasons why she should clean the house and wash plates without making her feel like she was squatting with me. It took lots of patience and self control to do that but today, we're best of friends. It also had something to do with Manner of approach!

I believe this also relates to the person you date or marry cos you will certainly live with the person! You need to be patient and accomodating no matter what! Try not to make your partner feel bad no matter how angry you get! You'll make the person like you back and then you can love each other! It dont matter who likes one person than the other! Pls dont forget God too. Love dont hold relationships or marriage. God does!!!

@ Nayah

Funny enough I had a conversation on this topic with a work colleague. She made an interesting point: often when we go with the one we love, although we love them for the right reasons the feeling isn't mutual. If we go with the one we love and they don't love us in return, at some point that love and trust will be abused. They can easily destroy that love you have for them because they have nothing to lose have they?

When you marry the one you love, you have a choice; either take advantage of their love, or treat them as they deserve. The intention, from what your mother said, is that there is a likelihood that those who love us will stick with us whatever happens.

Having seen it from both sides, it is better to go with the one who loves you so long as you love them in return. Mutual love breeds mutual appreciation. Anything else is short-changing the other person and yourself.

It's quite rare to see the same love shared, there's always or most of time someone who's more passionated

Dear all,


OP said “Get married to someone who loves you and not the one you love”

OP didn’t say “Get married to someone you do not love”

OP didn’t say “Get married to someone you have no passion for, no attraction to and zero chemistry with.”

Again, OP said “Get married to someone who loves you and not the one you love”


Thank you all,

TheCongo,

The Congo many thanks.

Nayah:

The Congo mant thanks.

Je vous en prie.

Super tu parles français aussi, es tu congolais?

Nayah:

Super tu parles français aussi, es tu congolais?

Bien sur, je le suis.

lol ok moi je suis d'origine Camerounaise
Mboté? sango malamu

First of all hello Pak and good french you have! I'm amazed for someone who said he's got only notions lol
Anyway the last phrase is in Lingala ( Congolese language) which simply means , hello how are you

Nayah:

Pak sorry you got my point! and sorry I didn' t see your post, ok well I'm single but this is not the issue here I think ha lol
Anyway Obunwi I think you right that works for women most of time, and for those who still don't understand, try to think about balance seriously this is not insane , ideally you both have to be in love but remember there's always someone who loves more.

You think wrong  
Its an issue here  
Infact, I still got more questions,

CAN I ASK ?

Lol Pak even though I'm afraid about your " wave of questions" go ahead

first off

RELAX !!!

Nothing harmfull

What about the person doing the loving?

@Nayah
Some of the ques might not be too cool for an open forum like NL

Do you YIM (yahoo messenger).

If you do my email is below, you can drop your YIM ID and I'll buzz you
yyyyyy@gmail.com



hope am not goin toooo far  yet

Orton explain yourself more
Pak ok go ahead for normal ones lol

Nayah, The 'normal ones' quite half as interesting as the 'other ones' (trust me  ). Especially considering the time.
I'll so much prefer to start with the other ones.


Just wondering, what time is it at your end ?

Don't really know for time cause here it's 2AM so, I'm waiting for your questions

i.e. looking at 'it' from a partner's point of view - If everybody were to marry someone who 'loves' them and NOT the other way around, then the word Marriage will cease to exist!

Orton please re read the Congo he has resumed everything, this is not about NOT LOVING on way round brother

You waiting for my questions ?

Me -  am waiting for your YIM id  in ma mail

Seriously, I'll appreciate it - just got one or two curious stuffs to clear out of my mind.



Or alternatively you can send you email addy to my mail above and I'll mail back

actually pak you told me you got some questions but you could'nt expose here ok but the others can be so I' mwaiting for that i can not give you my e mail adress like that hope you'll understand

Pak guy,go ahead and ask the question here,
free this girl jor!

Hmm.
**Am I drunk?**
Ok, for the final time:
This is the topic in question : " Get Married To the Person who loves You & NOT the One You Love"
Right??

So If everyone heeds to the above cliche/advice, then Do you think Anybody will get married??
Who would do All the "loving" if both partners share that same opinion about marriage?
BTW, who's congo?

orton the Congo is a forumer like us who resumes it all
Goldielucks lol you sond curious sister hehehe

Lol Nayah,yes he should ask you the question here,
instead of posting you

Nayah, you

Nayah:

actually pak you told me you got some questions but you could'nt expose here ok but the others can be so I' mwaiting for that i can not give you my e mail adress like that hope you'll understand

Nayah, am trying to but I dont understand. It wont do much harm giving it to me. Am not a vampire you know.

Je suis simplement intéressé à vous


@Goldie
which ones na ?
dem send you to me  
You should be focusing on your books/work/family or sleeping @ this time of the day.
And allow me to finish my night business  

pak:

Nayah, you


Nayah, am trying to but I dont understand. It wont do much harm giving it to me. Am not a vampire you know.

Je suis simplement intéressé à vous


@Goldie
which ones na ?
dem send you to me  
You should be focusing on your books/work/family or sleeping @ this time of the day.
And allow me to finish my night business  

so you no get work,books,family or you no dey sleep too?
oh ok you have internet to use to chat up girls,
your full time business,huh??

@Goldie
Na wa O
Should this be construed as wickedness ?

abi U know me bifor ?

Am sure you are one of these 'naija girls' (lol)

I didn't say you were a vampire but this is you brother who came up with this so I said go ahead

pak:

@Goldie
Na wa O
Should this be construed as wickedness ?

abi U know me bifor ?

Am sure you are one of these 'naija girls' (lol)

Ta!
face front,Pakistani boy

Pak please be more respectful this is a woman plus it's just a conversation and yes I got what you've said but I 've already answered you , haven't I? If you want ask me something respectfully of course I'll respond properly.