ikooko:

HA HA HA HA HA HA
Read you comment again and criticize yourself.
Look at it this way, If a car did not break down today does not mean it will not break down all, it is a matter of time. It could be as small as having a flat tyre. Isn't it suffice to say that car break down is natural with cars.
HA HA HA HA HA HA

A car’s flat tire is as a result of a fault not so? Will a properly maintained tire that is used correctly just go flat without any reason? Will a (good) man just because he is a man cheat on his wife? Anyways that was a rough analogy and can only be stretched so far. I think that at this point it is clear that many people actually like this idea that men will cheat at some point. What better way to shy away from the defect in character that they have acquired than to pass it off as natural.  

Bawss1:

A car’s flat tire is as a result of a fault not so? Will a properly maintained tire that is used correctly just go flat without any reason? Will a (good) man just because he is a man cheat on his wife? Anyways that was a rough analogy and can only be stretched so far. I think that at this point it is clear that many people actually like this idea that men will cheat at some point. What better way to shy away from the defect in character that they have acquired than to pass it off as natural.  

I was hoping you would address the issues raised by JJ Smith in that video but i see you deliberately ducked that one.Oh well. . .

All married men won't cheat, but what I'd say is, those who are 'swearing' by the men in their family and so on should be very careful.

The fact that you haven't seen evidence of the man cheating does not mean he has not cheated.

Secondly, I don't accept this 'real men' don't cheat notion. I think it's complete nonsense. The fact is that every human being has a certain weakness - the key is mastering that weakness or giving in to it.

There are men that are fiercely committed to their families, that would die for them even, but have cheated when they let their guard down or foolishly thought they could handle closeness to another woman, or during severe issues in the marriage.

I would make a distinction that some may not agree with, but holds true in my experience:

1. The type of men who would sleep with almost any woman if they get an opportunity.

2. The type of men who could cheat if they let their guard down too much, but regret it because they are not disciplined.s

3. The type of men who think they would never cheat (I mean having sex) but remain close to other women, only to end up sleeping with them and regretting it.

4. The type of men who don't want to cheat and will do everything to keep away from situations that could cause them to cheat. Because they've pre-decided they don't want to cheat, they stand the best chance of not cheating, but even they can fall in extreme situations.

As others have mentioned, great men like David and Solomon cheated, yet no one would say they were not 'real men'. Heck even Abraham cheated if that's what we're talking about.

As far as I'm concerned, everyone has the potential to cheat - if you don't make a decision not to cheat and then keep away from situations that could lead to you cheating, then you are more likely to cheat than the ordinary man.

With due respect to the women, this 'integrity' issue is bollocks. For a woman, one aspect of her life influences all the others and everything is intricately connected. Men don't function this way - a man can be fiercely loyal to his wife and family in every respect but may still sleep with others just for sexual satisfaction.

Unfortunately men are generally able to treat sex as a commodity - women generally do not and need an emotional connection. That makes it much easier for a man to cheat and still maintain his integrity in other areas.

^^end of!And the curtain draws to close on this issue

tpia@:

@ topic

anyway, no sweating.

if the man cant stop cheating, then the woman can also do the same.

as long as nobody brings stds home or spills the beans, everybody's happy.

i disagree. . . .
a woman can raise a bastard child and claim the husband as the father. men don't have this opportunity. . . .so there's a difference between a man cheating and a woman cheating. . . . .if men get pregnant too, it would have been even stevens, but as it is. . . .a cheating woman is more dangerous, disgraceful and grotesque.

the thing with sex is its a soulish connection.

so, once you enter the lifestyle of cheating [before or after marriage], you're joining your soul to the person you cheat with. [and every other person he/she has slept with as well].

so, you're in a network of bonds/chains with a vast number of people, most of whom you've never met. That's the addiction factor.

if that works for you, kudos until you seek Jesus.




the other thing about casual sex is it's very easy to cultivate that habit in others who arent promiscuous as you. That's why you have so many men and women insisting there are no men who dont cheat. Just display your butt, bosom or whatever is considered s.exual- after a while the man may be conditioned to get excited whenever he sees these things. Re: pavlov's experiments, video vixens, culture of n.udity, etc.

it's because they know how easy it is to make a non-cheater fall. It's like spreading a virus- very easy to acquire but not easy to discard after you have it.


soulish things usually operate that way.

coogar:

i disagree. . . .
a woman can raise a bastard child and claim the husband as the father. men don't have this opportunity. . . .so there's a difference between a man cheating and a woman cheating. . . . .if men get pregnant too, it would have been even stevens, but as it is. . . .a cheating woman is more dangerous, disgraceful and grotesque.

like i said, as long as nobody knows whatever, all is well.

if the basstard child becomes a billionaire tomorrow, its for the common good.

Bawss1:

A car’s flat tire is as a result of a fault not so? Will a properly maintained tire that is used correctly just go flat without any reason? Will a (good) man just because he is a man cheat on his wife? Anyways that was a rough analogy and can only be stretched so far. I think that at this point it is clear that many people actually like this idea that men will cheat at some point. What better way to shy away from the defect in character that they have acquired than to pass it off as natural.  

I will take this to mean that you have not personally maintain a car before (single), perhaps you just call your mechanic (husband) to fix it up anytime you have issue; that is if you get chance to do that at all (Oga-madam).

On the tyre analogy, an experienced driver understand that  a brand new tyre can give way anytime due to a lot of factors such as bad roads, sharp objects, excess pressure, loose valve etc etc. In fact a brand new car can breakdown without warning.

I would suggest you try another analogy, this car/tyre analogy is just too inadequate to drive off your point.

Really i will accept that not all men cheat their wives if 50 men out of 717,268 members on NL who have been married for 50 years can testify that they have never cheated on their wives in their 50 years of marriage. why 50 years? because i belief that for a man to be that old in marriage, he must be at least 75 years old, he must has seen it all and probably sexually irrelevant/inactive  to sexual pleasure than younger men.

^^


1. there's no 75 year old on nl, imo.

2. those statistics would vary depending on race and ethnicity.

blacks, for example, would consistently rank lower on these types of indices.

tpia@:

like i said, as long as nobody knows whatever, all is well.

if the basstard child becomes a billionaire tomorrow, its for the common good.

well, the truth must always prevail. in these days of dna matching and stuffs, enough married women in nigeria have been ditched by their husbands after several years of deception. i know a man who never knew his children were biologically made by another man until recently. he's now old and gray and might not be able to father a child again!

ikooko:

Really i will accept that not all men cheat their wives if 50 men out of 717,268 members on NL who have been married for 50 years can testify that they have never cheated on their wives in their 50 years of marriage. why 50 years? because i belief that for a man to be that old in marriage, he must be at least 75 years old, he must has seen it all and probably sexually irrelevant/inactive  to intimate pleasure than younger men.

and you think nigerians will be truthful enough to admit they have cheated on their spouses on these pages? your lie detector test will go up in smoke if you attempt it. cheating is a norm in nigeria. around the closing time/break time on the island, you can never get a free hotel room. they all get booked. as soon as break is over, the rooms become available again. who are the guests that fill up these rooms? married bankers, insurers, stock brokers, business men/women, etc cheating freely on their spouses without any remorse.

coogar:

well, the truth must always prevail. in these days of dna matching and stuffs, enough married women in nigeria have been ditched by their husbands after several years of deception. i know a man who never knew his children were biologically made by another man until recently. he's now old and gray and might not be able to father a child again!

^^so he should have let sleeping dogs lie.

same way the women do.

why did he give himself hypertension.

dollypi:

Cheating is not only limited to the s.exual act itself.

If a man doesn't sleep around, but has an emotional connection with another woman, would a wife be ok with that, since the man is not "cheating"?

If a man finds an intellectual connection with another woman that his wife can't provide, is the man cheating? will the wife accept that?

If you look at it that way, everyone who has ever fantasized about another woman or man, has cheated. I believe Jesus Christ said if you look lustfully at a woman, you have already committed f.ornication,or adultery (cheated) as the case may be.

If there are texts on your phone from another woman or another man that you would be afraid to allow your spouse see because of what the content implies about your relationship with that person, then you're already cheating.

Everyone saying they have been faithful to their spouses can only claim so if they do not

1.  Deliberately dwell on s.exual fantasies with other people in their minds.

2.  Maintain emotional outlets in other people apart from their spouse.

On Point

@ topic

another problem is most cheaters wouldnt know what to do with themselves should they not cheat.

some men are conditioned to switch partners regularly. They'd consider it the work of their enemies and a bad situation if they were unable to cheat.

cheating is part and parcel of their lifestyle and to them, cheating is like breathing and eating.

I would add, that it is a 'useless, senseless and irresponsible man that would cheat on their wives, Most of the guys on this forum are justifying the reasons why men would and should cheat,WTF, is in Nigeria, that a husband would cheat on his wife and he would get away with it, thank God here in the States, most men will pay dearly for that mistake, I think women should wake up and know their rights.
   [color=#006600]Some of you don't believe that some men don't cheat and decide to keep their homes, because they are sensible, and knows what marraige is all about.
Kunle-J above , made mention of different reasons a man would cheat on their wives, i pity you, there is no reason on earth, above the earth or under the earth, that a man/ woman should cheat on their spouse, but the level of thought and thinking nko?

Any man, that is not married yet and is already thinking of cheating on his wife, is creating a future doom for himself, his marriage and his family.

I wonder why people keep going on about the States like it is somewhere in Mars.How would you pay dearly for something if you don't get caught?

On a lighter note,in the words of a stand up comedian:Marriage is like chewing gum.When you start chewing it is sweet,sometimes too sweet,at some point it loses its taste but you keep chewing just to keep your gums busy.Much later you become indecisive,whether to spit it out,swallow or just keep chewing.

I'm not advocating infidelity o! Just saying

@ cold

i think you have a deep seated fear which needs to be addressed or else you'll always be lonely with or without any female partner.

any dl tendencies?

oh lordy, i laughed so hard.
i like that word, dl 
downlow oya cold answer is needed

OMG!I don die for hia

^^^^^ you are definitely advocating it, it is either you support cheating spouses or you don't, there is no need for analysis. America may not be all that, but their level of CIVILITY cannot be compared to ours'.
  Marraige like chewing gum, !!!!! why should you even compare your marriage to chewing gum, ?? i think the level you place your relationship, marraige, home, family, matters alot. And if you feel your marraige is like chewing gum, that is sad,

ronkebp:

I would add, that it is a 'useless, senseless and irresponsible man that would cheat on their wives, Most of the guys on this forum are justifying the reasons why men would and should cheat,WTF, is in Nigeria, that a husband would cheat on his wife and he would get away with it, thank God here in the States, most men will pay dearly for that mistake, I think women should wake up and know their rights.
   [color=#006600]Some of you don't believe that some men don't cheat and decide to keep their homes, because they are sensible, and knows what marraige is all about.
      Kunle-J above , made mention of different reasons a man would cheat on their wives, i pity you, there is no reason on earth, above the earth or under the earth, that a man/ woman should cheat on their spouse, but the level of thought and thinking nko?

Any man, that is not married yet and is already thinking of cheating on his wife, is creating a future doom for himself, his marriage and his family.

You are lucky you are in States but let me sound this note of warning to you:
If you are single, make sure you look for husband overthere,
If you are married, don't ever allow your husband to come home for whatever reason. They are never without sweet nigerian girls when they get to naija.
If you are so passionate about this issue, follow your mind and stay away from marriage, after-all it's better to remain forever single than be married to a cheat and see if you'll not crave for a cheating bastard by the time you clock 40 yrs

why are people making excuses with the old testament? truth is alot of things accepted back then is not accepted now not even in the new testament and yea I know jesus did not come to change the law but come on

ikooko:

You are lucky you are in States but let me sound this note of warning to you:
If you are single, make sure you look for husband overthere,
If you are married, don't ever allow your husband to come home for whatever reason. They are never without sweet nigerian girls when they get to naija.
If you are so passionate about this issue, follow your mind and stay away from marriage, after-all it's better to remain forever single than be married to a cheat and see if you'll not crave for a cheating bastard by the time you clock 40 yrs

Thank you Ikooko for 'NO advice' am married, infact my husband is a business man and he travels everywhere, we have an agreement already, that works for my home, we have an understanding that works for our relationship, and with that understanding everybody have been living peacefully, my husband is more scared of me cheating on him than him cheating on me, and we both know the KOKO, i don't have a problem with anything, am so Passionate, only because some of the men, have decided to justify 'cheating' and are proud that the woman cannot do anything about it. chei, !!!!! women don suffer, anyways only the mugus would suffer.

debosky:


As others have mentioned, great men like David and Solomon cheated, yet no one would say they were not 'real men'. Heck even Abraham cheated if that's what we're talking about.

I always wonder if people who cite David, Solomon and Abraham paid any attention to the full story (bearing in mind those who said these were "men of God" and "men after God's own heart were other men )

If these characters teach us anything at all, is that[b] there are repercussions for infidelity[/b], let's not cut these short and ignore the important points:

[list]
[li]God gave Abraham a prophecy about his children - well it bore true. In fact, he didn't actually "cheat", he took another wife trying to force God's hand, and then kept going.  The end result is visible in today's Middle East.[/li]

[li]David not only cheated on his wives with another man's wife, he arranged for the man to be killed so he could make her his wife.  What happened then?  And with all his children from different mothers, was there not a lot of in-fighting which led to the eventual division and fall of the original Kingdom of Israel?[/li]

[li]Solomon had many wives and concubines, despite all his supposed wisdom he was not wise enough to realise they would be his downfall.  What happened to him?  He neglected the God of his forefathers to worship false gods.  And his family was even more divided than  his father's.[/li]

[/list]

If we are remotely observant, it is very clear that infidelity comes at a price, whether in our lifetime or our children's.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is deceiving themselves.  Even if these stories 0f David, Solomon and Abraham are made up, there are very real examples in some of our own families.  We ignore them at our peril.

ikooko:

I will take this to mean that you have not personally maintain a car before (single), perhaps you just call your mechanic (husband) to fix it up anytime you have issue; that is if you get chance to do that at all (Oga-madam).

On the tyre analogy, an experienced driver understand that  a brand new tyre can give way anytime due to a lot of factors such as bad roads, sharp objects, excess pressure, loose valve etc etc. In fact a brand new car can breakdown without warning.

I would suggest you try another analogy, this car/tyre analogy is just too inadequate to drive off your point.

Really i will accept that not all men cheat their wives if 50 men out of 717,268 members on NL who have been married for 50 years can testify that they have never cheated on their wives in their 50 years of marriage. why 50 years? because i belief that for a man to be that old in marriage, he must be at least 75 years old, he must has seen it all and probably sexually irrelevant/inactive  to intimate pleasure than younger men.

I was going to leave that analogy alone but I noticed that you are getting it all wrong. The bad roads, or sharp objects or excess pressure and loose valves that you mentioned are ALL faults of some kind. A normal unaffected tire will not go flat without some kind of fault causing it!  And don’t give me that bull about me not driving or fixing my car –I’ve been driving since I left secondary school. In case the point I’m trying to make with all this is not clear: that the fact that such a thing can happen doesn’t mean that it must happen. Comprende?

@Cold
I just watched the video but firstly I have to ask: Is the lady some kind of all-knowing guru? As in is she an expert with new insight? Anyways I agree with some of what she has said but I will not buy any such talk that men must cheat on their wives just because they are men. Read my first post on this thread somewhere on the second page and try to grasp what I said there.

N101:

I always wonder if people who cite David, Solomon and Abraham paid any attention to the full story (bearing in mind those who said these were "men of God" and "men after God's own heart were other men )

If these characters teach us anything at all, is that[b] there are repercussions for infidelity[/b], let's not cut these short and ignore the important points:

[list]
[li]God gave Abraham a prophecy about his children - well it bore true. In fact, he didn't actually "cheat", he took another wife trying to force God's hand, and then kept going. The end result is visible in today's Middle East.[/li]

[li]David not only cheated on his wives with another man's wife, he arranged for the man to be killed so he could make her his wife. What happened then? And with all his children from different mothers, was there not a lot of in-fighting which led to the eventual division and fall of the original Kingdom of Israel?[/li]

[li]Solomon had many wives and concubines, despite all his supposed wisdom he was not wise enough to realise they would be his downfall. What happened to him? He neglected the God of his forefathers to worship false gods. And his family was even more divided than his father's.[/li]

[/list]

If we are remotely observant, it is very clear that infidelity comes at a price, whether in our lifetime or our children's. Anyone who thinks otherwise is deceiving themselves. Even if these stories 0f David, Solomon and Abraham are made up, there are very real examples in some of our own families. We ignore them at our peril.

Mr 101 don TALK AM FINISH, 'NO SINNER WILL GO UNPUNNISHED'

ronkebp:

my husband is more scared of me cheating on him than him cheating on me, and we both know the KOKO,

Uhmmmm    , am I thinking aloud?

. . . drive carefully, you have just been warned   . . .

ikooko:

Uhmmmm    , am I thinking aloud?

. . . drive carefully, you have just been warned  . . .

Infact i prefer it that way, it keeps everybody on their toes.

Na you sabi, think what ever you want to, i just gave you a small picture, ' in as much as you men do not want to think that your wife might cheat on you, it is better you do, it is not only the men that cheat, some women do too, especially those that are pretty and sexy, some men outside would want to have a taste, as you bleep other peoples wives, so your wives would be bleeped, with all leisure and sweat.!!!!!

ronkebp:

Infact i prefer it that way, it keeps everybody on their toes.

Na you sabi, think what ever you want to, i just gave you a small picture, ' in as much as you men do not want to think that your wife might cheat on you, it is better you do, it is not only the men that cheat, some women do too, especially those that are pretty and sexy, some men outside would want to have a taste, as you bleep other peoples wives, so your wives would be bleeped, with all leisure and sweat.!!!!!

then let the fuc[i]k[/i]ing begins. . . .

thegeorgy:

@Walala,AMERICA KOR LONDON NII as if u are the first guy to live there  ,i just pity the poor woman that will get married to u. . it's so unfortunate that u view women as toys.may God deliver u.my wish is that u attract a woman who would see u as toy to change u wheneva she feels like.lol
just because your wife turned 250 pounds doesn't warrant u to cheat on her.the last time i checked u dont expect a woman to remain the same after childbirth,if u want her to remain the same then dont get her pregnant.marriage is not for boys anyways but for [real]MEN
back to topic,not all men cheat only the monkeys who think there are smart do so, gaskiya!

I am not the first to live in America but what exactly does that mean; all I am saying here is that the temptation is way more here because the marriage ideology is slowing losing its relevance and you can easily get girls to do whatever you like.  If I married a skinny woman and she grew to be a heavy set woman like most 9ja women do, then she can't forget about that nonsense that you should love your woman regardless.  I will still love her but I have and will never sleep with a woman that is over 200 pounds so obviously i need to get my fix from somewhere else.

And all you girls or WOMEN need to stop with all that garbage that because you cheat on your wife means that you are a boy and not a man.

So Bill Clinton is a boy or Reverend Jesse Jackson or Tiger Woods or all those governors and senators in Nigerian and American  goverment are all boys.  These are powerful men so you can call me a boy all you want, it still won't change the fact that your husband has a 90% chance that he will cheat on you.   

LOl @ only Monkeys cheat, You sound angry,

ronkebp:

Infact i prefer it that way, it keeps everybody on their toes.

Na you sabi, think what ever you want to, i just gave you a small picture, ' in as much as you men do not want to think that your wife might cheat on you, it is better you do, it is not only the men that cheat, some women do too, especially those that are pretty and sexy, some men outside would want to have a taste, as you bleep other peoples wives, so your wives would be bleeped, with all leisure and sweat.!!!!!

In as much as we believe in the phrase " what goes around comes around" i tend to disagree with you that whoever bleeps(using ur word) on somebodies wife, his own will be bleeped upon. The culture will have in Nigeria puts so much pressure on the female gender that once she is married she finds it difficult to look out,and if by chance she decides to indulge in extramarital affairs,it is doomed as a tabboo and an insult to her entire family while on the other side(men) it is seen as a man's right.

Walala, Are you Bill Clinton or Tiger woods? if i marry Tiger woods and he cheats on me, i would divorce him and go with his money as his wife did, Hillary Clinton decided to stay with her hubby because they know what their arrangement is. So, those guys are loaded, to the core!!!!!