Freesia:

One of my closest friend was been battered for over three years by her husband and never told a soul.The last straw was when he beat her up over their crying toddler while she was expecting another baby.This man who is 6'1 punched her in the stomach,dragged her on the floor all while she was screaming and he calls himself a medical doctor!! Thank God for the neighbours they called the cops,she didn't want him to be arrested saying "the father of my kids." his reputation bla bla
This past June he was running late for work and she rushed to give him some stuff he forgot in the house,He verbally abused her snatched the documents from her hand.
He reversed his car,knowing very well she was still standing there aimed at her foot and drove over it!!! She fell down and he sped off,Her little boy was screaming for the dad to stop the car but he didn't.She now has a permanent limp
It's all very sad to think her mother says she has to persevere, her dad came to U.S to take his daughter and his grandkids back to Naija to think things over.My heart bleeds for her because I know she will go back to him despite her telling me that this man is out to kill her.May the lord deliver us and give us strength and courage to make intelligent decisions!!!

You might wanna save money for your friend's funeral because apparently she must enjoy this psychotic husband of hers. A man RAN OVER HER LEG and she's still there grinning as "Mrs Oponu"
Im in awe. Really what else can you do? After all what's stopping him from stabbing her in the middle of the night?
Hopefully she will wake up but I doubt

chaircover, this is one of the reasons why I am personally against children in the first year or 2 of marriage. If dude turns out to be a lunatic, at least you can run away without baggage. Children is what slows these abused women down and then they feel trapped

ThiefOfHearts:


Btw thanks for calling walcom out on his two faced BS. 2 sides to what? why not beat up your boss or a police man when they abuse you? Awon elesu.

Exactly what I told my male colleagues in the office! Slap the M.D cause she nags you on so many issues. There was even one colleague who mentioned he slapped his wife because she was taking sides with his mother over him. Can you imagine? I erupted so bad on him that he has never mentioned such in my presence again and now calls me King of women or something. The day our female M.D spoke nastily to him, I asked why did you not slap her?

Domestic abusers never think they are doing something wrong o. They just feel they are exercising their right, power and control over the spouse.

I don't support any sort
of abuse I always say that even nagging is a form of abuse. Those people who have the misconception that women ask or do things to get beaten I can only shake my head, you won't understand, its like death if you have never lost someone you will be telling the mourner not to cry. Only a mentally deranged person will nag a man who will tie her hands and flog her like a child. When you know you have an abusive husband you learn to stay silent, men and women who are abusive look for meek submissive women to marry cos we won't talk or fight back. Once a family friend came to report my ex to me dat he was harrassing her sister, my ex walked in on us while she was telling me, the same person dat came to report was d same person that saved me dat day, she felt so bad cos he really flogged me, she said she thought she could report him and I would talk to him I told her I can't talk to him about anything oh, she looked at me with so much pity.

coogar, your mother did the world a disservice with you. Obviously you werent raised in a normal environment.

You are crying about women slapping blah blah

How many women do you know that hit men? Coming up with BS. How many do you know of? If a woman hits you, end the bloody relation ship. Is it by force? Making excuses for acting like an animal. wah wah she pinched me so IK must break her face. Dont know how you can write that crap with a serious face

What a joke.

Liss:

Which is what the thread is trying to change is it can, It been legal in Nigeria is not the issue here, This thread is trying to get answers such as how can they be prevented, who can help, what organisations and possible laws are on ground to assist people who have been in such cases etc,

Aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution my foot! You sound like another wife murderer in the making. Answer me this, do women have a right to this your aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution system or is just for men?

Wife murderer? Is that not too harsh? To answer your question, no women don't have that right. Please understand that Nigeria is not a western country, we practice sharia as well. Women know their place.

ThiefOfHearts:

coogar, your mother did the world a disservice with you. Obviously you werent raised in a normal environment.

and your mother did the world a worse disservice by bringing a nincompoop like yourself to the world with your utter bitterness and disgraceful chain of thoughts. talking about someone's mother - do you have one?

You are crying about women slapping blah blah

crying? so you can see my tears from where you are standing?
silly twit.

How many women do you know that hit men? Coming up with BS. How many do you know of? If a woman hits you, end the bloody relation ship. Is it by force? Making excuses for acting like an animal. wah wah she pinched me so IK must break her face. Dont know how you can write that crap with a serious face

What a joke.

if a woman hits you, end the relationship? if a wife hits a husband, he should end the marriage as well?
such infantile remarks from a drug-fiend like yourself. some people take their marriage seriously, not like you do with your flings and booty calls.
divorce is a sin(unless tainted with infidelity). if a divorcee remarries again, she's an adulteress and the man she marries is also an adulterer. people don't just leave their marriages at the first sign of trouble. marriage has never been a bed of roses for anyone. but how would you know? you never stayed with your parents!

debrief08:

I don't support any sort
of abuse I always say that even nagging is a form of abuse. Those people who have the misconception that women ask or do things to get beaten I can only shake my head, you won't understand, its like death if you have never lost someone you will be telling the mourner not to cry. Only a mentally deranged person will nag a man who will tie her hands and flog her like a child. When you know you have an abusive husband you learn to stay silent, men and women who are abusive look for meek submissive women to marry cos we won't talk or fight back. Once a family friend  came to report my ex to me dat he was harrassing her sister, my ex walked in on us while she was telling me, the same person dat came to report was d same person that saved me dat day, she felt so bad cos he really flogged me, she said she thought she could report him and I would talk to him I told her I can't talk to him about anything oh, she looked at me with so much pity.

your ex flogged you because someone came to report him to you?
biko, are you really serious about these stuffs or you are on a wind-up?

how is it possible for a man to just wake up and start beating his wife?
unbelievable. . . .women are excellent story tellers when it comes to relationships so i cannot be convinced with your tales by moonlight.

There is hardly any reason for a marriage to deteriorate to a situation where a man has to beat up his wife. There are many ways

to make a stubborn, arrogant and unrepentant wife pay for her transgressions. Any man who beats his wife is exposing a

weakness- one that can easily be exploited by a truly devilish wife. Most women are like children. Some kids dont mind being

flogged endlessly. But when they are grounded and their TV rights taken away for a few days, they quickly fall in line. The man has

to identify what is really important in her life and apply sanctions or plagues that are swift, far reaching and of real deterrence

value. If she wants to get physical, have her taken away or u walk.

How does someone who doesn't have the power to talk to her husband nag him?

thiefofheart, cant you  write without insulting those that oppose your view. it does not make you intelligent. remember you do not have the monopoly of abusive words

WOW!!!

coogar:

and your mother did the world a worse disservice by bringing a nincompoop like yourself to the world with your utter bitterness and disgraceful chain of thoughts. talking about someone's mother - do you have one?

crying? so you can see my tears from where you are standing?
silly twit.

if a woman hits you, end the relationship? if a wife hits a husband, he should end the marriage as well?
such infantile remarks from a drug-fiend like yourself. some people take their marriage seriously, not like you do with your flings and booty calls.
divorce is a sin(unless tainted with infidelity). if a divorcee remarries again, she's an adulteress and the man she marries is also an adulterer. people don't just leave their marriages at the first sign of trouble. marriage has never been a bed of roses for anyone. but how would you know? you never stayed with your parents!

your ex flogged you because someone came to report him to you?
biko, are you really serious about these stuffs or you are on a wind-up?

how is it possible for a man to just wake up and start beating his wife?
unbelievable. . . .women are excellent story tellers when it comes to relationships so i cannot be convinced with your tales by moonlight.

not surprise, even the devil quoted Jesus  . a woman should stay in an abusive marriage? odikwa risky o.

well, thank God for God's own country where many Nigerian guys wouldn't try such nonsense. they usually end up in jail where criminals shove their index finger inside their an.u.s.

armyofone:

WOW!!!
not surprise, even the devil quoted Jesus  . a woman should stay in an abusive marriage? odikwa risky o.

only the abused woman can make that decision. it's none of your business !

well, thank God for God's own country where many Nigerian guys wouldn't try such nonsense. they usually end up in jail where criminals shove their index finger inside their an.u.s.

heaven bless america!
the only country on the planet where there's never been a single case of domestic violence involving nigerian men.

iykak47:

thiefofheart, cant you  write without insulting those that oppose your view. it does not make you intelligent. remember you do not have the monopoly of abusive words

why warn her?

let her be. . . . . .she thinks she can open her diseased mouth to curse fellow members anyhow because she had the rare opportunity to be abused as a child. . . . . .everyone here is discussing the cause and effects of marital abuse and the only thing that came out of her pit latrine of a mouth is someone's mother doing the world a disservice?

what a twerp!!!

armyofone:

not surprise, even the devil quoted Jesus  .

abi o. Animals I tell you.

Look at them coming up with excuses like the pathetic beasts that they are.

Anyway again they can only run their mouths. Lets see how many are trying that nonsense outside of Nigeria.

@Cooger, you are a very big Fool. An attention seeker. These ladies responding to you are just wasting their time.

I pity for who ever is married to you/or will be married to you.

@debrief08
am happy for you, that you could walk away. it is very difficult to do that. A lot of people won't understand that the attacks are mostly unprovoked because the abused one is usually the quiet and submissive type (which still doesn't stop the abuse). They rarely go for big girls whose eye don tear finish because those ones don't have time for nonsense.
A woman should leave a situation where her life is endangered. it is not worth it!!
God bless you!

em.RemiLek:

@Cooger, you are a very big Fool. An attention seeker. These ladies responding to you are just wasting their time.

I pity for who ever is married to you/or will be married to you.

you are just a nincompoop!
why pity whoever marries me? i don't need your pity.
save that pity for when the ground finally opens under you. . . . you indolent swine!

em.RemiLek:

@Cooger, you are a very big Fool. An attention seeker. These ladies responding to you are just wasting their time.

"he" was obviously weaned very early. One can only show pity to that sociopath

Please to the poster who has a friend that lives in the US and let her husband turn her into a cripple please tell your friend to have her head examined. She is wicked. To raise a child in that environment. For what reason. She needs to be careful because God has entrusted those children to her and it is a sin to put those children through that mess. i cannot even imagine. God please because I will be happy to dance to the music for running someone over for doing that to my sister not even to me. What nonsense. I cannot imagine the horrow that child went through that moment when he was screaming. some women really need to stop being so stupid.

I have been beaten for less, too much pepper, ( I want to kill him) beer not cold enuf, etc my offence was engaging in idle gossip about him. If I have a dog that bites me all d time I will assume the dog is mad take him to the vet and get him checked if it is indeed a mad dog I will get it put to sleep

coogar, heard you are Sauron/hannibal/ ati be be lo

thought you've changed all the while.

i think some nigerian ladies outside nig don't know the resources available to them.

Outstrip:

Please to the poster who has a friend that lives in the US and let her husband turn her into a cripple please tell your friend to have her head examined. She is wicked. To raise a child in that environment. For what reason. She needs to be careful because God has entrusted those children to her and it is a sin to put those children through that mess. i cannot even imagine. God please because I will be happy to dance to the music for running someone over for doing that to my sister not even to me. What nonsense. I cannot imagine the horrow that child went through that moment when he was screaming. some women really need to stop being so silly.

ThiefOfHearts:

"he" was obviously weaned very early. One can only show pity to that sociopath

spoken like a true social reprobate. . . .keep going!

armyofone:

coogar, heard you are Sauron/hannibal/ ati be be lo

thought you've changed all the while.

sauron? hannibal?
i will add mohammed, jesus christ and john the baptist to your list.

women and their pathetic stories flooding the internet.
do i blame you people? i blame feminism - the ultimate perversion of human nature.

yet, men are more likely to suffer domestic abuse as women.
just because men won't open their mouths to say mrs robinson slapped me does not mean it doesn't happen.

domestic violence is a 2-way thing.
men get injured, women get injured.

stop concentrating on wife beaters. . . .talk about husband batterers as well.

who still uses "nincompoop" in the 21st century? Even ESL students dont use that word. what a loser.

armyofone:

coogar, heard you are Sauron/hannibal/ ati be be lo  

Seriously? Now that would be a shame

[quote Wife murderer? Is that not too harsh? To answer your question, no women don't have that right. Please understand that Nigeria is not a western country, we practice sharia as well. Women know their place.
[quote][/quote]

Okay. Maybe dat was too harsh. Sorry,      I quite understand that Nigeria  is not awestern country but the  practice of domestic violence should not be acceptable.

Anywayz, please  come out of the closet and answer this question : Would you, Johndoe, support a woman who chooses to leave an abusive husband? Abusive  here being, physical abuse such as slapping, beating, kicking etc

ThiefOfHearts:

who still uses "nincompoop" in the 21st century? Even ESL students dont use that word. what a loser.

Seriously? Now that would be a shame

just shut up and lie down or go w@nk somewhere else.
if you have nothing meaningful to contribute here but bitter, disgraceful and myopic comments, best take a hike. . . .
i am not even sure you have a grasp of what's being discussed.

coogar:

you are just a nincompoop!
why pity whoever marries me? i don't need your pity.
save that pity for when the ground finally opens under you. . . . you indolent swine!

Hahahaha! your post just goes to show the bitter person that you are.

None on these ladies caused your frustration, go vent it some where else, Deranged lunatic!

em.RemiLek:

Hahahaha! your post just goes to show the bitter person that you are.

bitter? while having my caviar with a chilled bottle of wine?
the only dreg of the society bitter here is you. . . . .a goat that just jumped into a discussion without his moral compass.
obnoxious swine!

None on these ladies caused your frustration, go vent it some where else, Deranged lunatic!

but they caused yours, didn't they?
despicable [i]c[/i]unt!

What a bore.

@ Freesia, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , eh!!!!!! (thinking) that your friend !!!!! i pity her life, it is a pity, i don't know her!!!! i would have ordered some people to carry her out of the house. Is she a fulltime house wife

I made up my mind to never tolerate domestic violence after I read this poem below ,

I Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers, today.

By Paulette Kelly

walcolm:

physical violence is wrong and it doesnt matter who is the victim, like some people have highlighted, culture and a weak judicial redress system makes it easy to get away with violence

i will be contirbuting contrarian views to this topic, i didnt read all the posts but from the ones i read, i have noticed tunnel visioning, everybody aligned in one direction, men are the bad guys and women are the victim

so lets narrow down to the specifics of this thread which is violence against a spouse, is anybody asking the question around wives who keep pushing their husbands to breaking point just to get their way?

analogy,
a disagreement happens and the husband tries to leave the scene to cool off but the wife physically blocks his way all the while cursing him and his entire lineage at the top of her voice. there are few choices, the guy stands there and listens to stuff that angers him more or try to move the woman out of the way which she uses as excuse to lash out at him

IMO, i think a lot of the women who claim to have experienced domestic violence contributed more than 80% to the events that led up to the incident by not knowing when to stop and back off

you have spoken the truth and nothing but the truth. . . .

one of the problems of feminism is the way it has made domestic violence a gender issue.
as far as i'm concerned, you can't look at violence in that way. some men and some women can be violent. . .to their partners, children, relatives, friends, pets, people in their care and even random strangers.

both men and women can be capable of quite terrifying violence.
we need to cut out the 'why are men violent and women victims' crap and start looking at why people become violent and abusive in marriage!
and domestic violence against men is just as serious a matter as domestic violence against women.  

women should stop seeing it only as something men do and women suffer.
more women die but men die too and a huge percentage of cases have had women convicted for domestic abuse.
the problem isn't about gender. it's about men/women and violence.

Liss:

Wife murderer? Is that not too harsh? To answer your question, no women don't have that right. Please understand that Nigeria is not a western country, we practice sharia as well. Women know their place.

Okay. Maybe dat was too harsh. Sorry,       I quite understand that Nigeria  is not awestern country but the  practice of domestic violence should not be acceptable.

Anywayz, please  come out of the closet and answer this question : Would you, Johndoe, support a woman who chooses to leave an abusive husband? Abusive  here being, physical abuse such as slapping, beating, kicking etc

Firstly the word abuse is not Nigerian, it is a white word, as such I don't use it. I do not support women leaving their homes just because they are disciplined.
Women need discipline, the exact nature of the discipline is the prerogative of the man.

I knew this topic would disintegrate to WE vs THEM. I don't understand why some people want to pretend this abuse issue is not a big deal, like woman just want to make up stuff about being bruised, battered and almost choked to death.

Whoever brought up the nagging boss vs the nagging wife. . .thank you very much!! It just puts the entire thing in perspective. SOBs will be shaking at work at the voice of their bosses, then get home and start playing king kong with their wives. So they obviously know what they are doing and will only do it when they know they can get away with it.


Karma. . .o ma ni time oh, there are some people you should ignore because they will never ever make sense