Johndoe100:

Firstly the word abuse is not Nigerian, it is a white word, as such I don't use it. I do not support women leaving their homes just because they are disciplined.
Women need discipline, the exact nature of the discipline is the prerogative of the man.

Where's the hot iron. . .I've found the first candidate for the WIFE BEATER/SOON TO BE WIFE MURDERER branding

Sisi_Kill:

I knew this topic would disintegrate to WE vs THEM. I don't understand why some people want to pretend this abuse issue is not a big deal, like woman just want to make up stuff about being bruised, battered and almost choked to death.

oh please. . . .
and men have not been treated worse by women?

how many men would walk into the police station and report they have been abused by their spouses.
because a man does not talk or he's ashamed to admit he's been slapped around by his spouse does not mean he is not abused.

this is no we versus them you are trying to paint here.
domestic abuse is a 2-way thing.

OMOGE

This is the generation of Nigerian men we were discussing in the other thread.
Aint it just a shame. Wife beaters in the making.

[Firstly the word abuse is not Nigerian, it is a white word, as such I don't use it. I do not support women leaving their homes just because they are disciplined.
Women need discipline, the exact nature of the discipline is the prerogative of the man.
[quote][/quote]

Pray tell, who disciplines the man who requires discipline or u solely believe men do not require discipline? Are men perfect in themselves that they do not require discipline?

So you would support a woman that suffers very traumatic experiences because their husbands decide to 'discipline' them to remain married? Shaking my head at the BS you just typed. Typical of a bigot, Double standards! Gosh!

Just because men are also getting their beatdown means that we shouldn't discuss wife beating?

Last time I checked, creating a new thread costs zero penny.

@ Nri priest,
I guessed as much my brother, am from Anambra too , enugwu-ugwu precisely, we Anambrarians don't joke with our sisters,
I have ignored the f00l johndoe, I have been very busy all day interpreting mud charts to have time for imbeciles like him, i just pray he meets his match someday,

my sister, it is a stinking situation o.
to have Johndoe talking abt 'husband disciplining his wife'' is a rude shock i was thinking we are out of the wood  
oh well.

have plan B ladies, have plan B.

Ileke-IdI:

OMOGE

This is the generation of Nigerian men we were discussing in the other thread.
Aint it just a shame. Wife beaters in the making.

Liss:

[Firstly the word abuse is not Nigerian, it is a white word, as such I don't use it. I do not support women leaving their homes just because they are disciplined.
Women need discipline, the exact nature of the discipline is the prerogative of the man.

Pray tell, who disciplines the man who requires discipline or u solely believe men do not require discipline? Are men perfect in themselves that they do not require discipline?

So you would support a woman that suffers very traumatic experiences because their husbands decide to 'discipline' them to remain married? Shaking my head at the BS you just typed. Typical of a bigot,  Double standards! Gosh!

Why must there be someone to discipline the man? This is a fallacy made up by radical feminists. The idea of the equality of the sexes is both un - African and not supported by ANY religion practiced in Africa.

I do not want to be white, I am black and in Africa. All this nonsense is brought about by people living in the white mans land and want to come and destroy our country. NO WHERE IN AFRICA ARE THE 2 SEXES EQUAL - What is so hard to understand in that?

Johndoe100:

Firstly the word abuse is not Nigerian, it is a white word, as such I don't use it. I do not support women leaving their homes just because they are disciplined.
Women need discipline, the exact nature of the discipline is the prerogative of the man.

wow. do you have sisters? How would you feel if your father "disciplined" your mother? The way you talk about "discipline", i'm just wondering if you people are getting married to 12 yr olds who cant reason or fully grown mature women. Are you ok with having a wife who has zero self esteem outside her home? What is the point of having a home to call her own if she is afraid of you 24/7 and has to thread around eggshells just to avoid "discipline"?
When is it the turn of your woman to finally breath the air of freedom? Discipline with daddy, discipline at school then discipline in her husband's house? What a miserable existence . . .

armyofone:

my sister, it is a stinking situation o.
to have Johndoe talking abt 'husband disciplining his wife'' is a rude shock i was thinking we are out of the wood  
oh well.

have plan B ladies, have plan B.

Not surprising really. I've always known that our generation have the most miserable set of imbe-ciles calling themselves men.

Unfortunately, we can only change that situation with the next coming generation.


Plan B C D E F G. . . .Z all written down.

Wouldnt surprise me if some of these men have a cage in their basement.

davidylan:

wow. do you have sisters? How would you feel if your father "disciplined" your mother? The way you talk about "discipline", i'm just wondering if you people are getting married to 12 yr olds who cant reason or fully grown mature women. Are you ok with having a wife who has zero self esteem outside her home? What is the point of having a home to call her own if she is afraid of you 24/7 and has to thread around eggshells just to avoid "discipline"?
When is it the turn of your woman to finally breath the air of freedom? Discipline with daddy, discipline at school then discipline in her husband's house? What a miserable existence . . .

The quintessence of a woman living with domestic abuse, a miserable existence! What a waste!

@ JohnDoe, I seriously wonder if you have female relations, May you not experience abuse of any form o. You'ld think differently I assure you.

davidylan:

wow. do you have sisters? How would you feel if your father "disciplined" your mother? The way you talk about "discipline", i'm just wondering if you people are getting married to 12 yr olds who cant reason or fully grown mature women. Are you ok with having a wife who has zero self esteem outside her home? What is the point of having a home to call her own if she is afraid of you 24/7 and has to thread around eggshells just to avoid "discipline"?
When is it the turn of your woman to finally breath the air of freedom? Discipline with daddy, discipline at school then discipline in her husband's house? What a miserable existence . . .

johndoe is obviously on a wind-up.
he does not mean what he is saying whole heartedly but i get the drift of his argument.

i have seen men slapped by women in trains, trams, buses countless times and men are supposed to walk away and be a gentleman.
few months ago, i witnessed a female-on-male domestic violence in my neighbourhood, the victim called the police.

after statements were taken, they removed the man from the house that night, after few days, he later returned but was told he should just live with it, because he was taller, and theoretically stronger than his partner.

their logic seemed to be. . . .it was fine for his partner to assault him, because he would probably be able to defend  himself, and they seemed to have no idea that they were implying that it was fine for his child to see the mother attacking their father.

this is the kind of double standard men have to deal with from the police.
i believe a man should have every right to not tolerate assault in his own home, no matter his body-size or body-shape!

[/quote][quote author=Sisi_Kill link=topic=758548.msg9147572#msg9147572 date=1316023005]
Karma. . .o ma ni time oh, there are some people you should ignore because they will never ever make sense

abi. Dont even know why I bothered. I just end up irritated and extremely glad that I dont live in Naija

Germans, Chinese come to Nigeria and call you losers monkeys and treat you like trash. You still call them "Oga sah" yet when it comes to your weak wife, that's women you wanna show off strength. Embarrassing psychopaths.

NLers and their theatrical skills. Nigerians were born with a Nollywood DVD in their mouth. See how pesin form story quick quick.

Ileke-IdI:

Wouldnt surprise me if some of these men have a cage in their basement.

Good idea that. Discussed this with my wife, she refused to allow it.

davidylan:

wow. do you have sisters? How would you feel if your father "disciplined" your mother? The way you talk about "discipline", i'm just wondering if you people are getting married to 12 yr olds who cant reason or fully grown mature women. Are you ok with having a wife who has zero self esteem outside her home? What is the point of having a home to call her own if she is afraid of you 24/7 and has to thread around eggshells just to avoid "discipline"?
When is it the turn of your woman to finally breath the air of freedom? Discipline with daddy, discipline at school then discipline in her husband's house? What a miserable existence . . .

You are a small boy, try and be Nigerian and get some liver.

armyofone:

my sister, it is a stinking situation o.
to have Johndoe talking abt 'husband disciplining his wife'' is a rude shock i was thinking we are out of the wood  
oh well.

have plan B ladies, have plan B.

Don't you know that aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution is legal in Nigeria?

nawfia:

@ Nri priest,
I guessed as much my brother, am from Anambra too , enugwu-ugwu precisely, we Anambrarians don't joke with our sisters,
I have ignored the f00l johndoe, I have been very busy all day interpreting mud charts to have time for imbeciles like him,  i just pray he meets his match someday,

As I told the other ibo fool, mess with me and you will go back to anambra in the cargo compartment of some bus. I am an original niger delta man, and I will deal with twerps like you anytime anyday. e ma gba me lowo awon kobo kobo yi. ton ba sura ma kpa won danu.

coogar:

johndoe is obviously on a wind-up.
he does not mean what he is saying whole heartedly but i get the drift of his argument.

i have seen men slapped by women in trains, trams, buses countless times and men are supposed to walk away and be a gentleman.
few months ago, i witnessed a female-on-male domestic violence in my neighbourhood, the victim called the police.

after statements were taken, they removed the man from the house that night, after few days, he later returned but was told he should just live with it, because he was taller, and theoretically stronger than his partner.

their logic seemed to be. . . .it was fine for his partner to assault him, because he would probably be able to defend  himself, and they seemed to have no idea that they were implying that it was fine for his child to see the mother attacking their father.

this is the kind of double standard men have to deal with from the police.
i believe a man should have every right to not tolerate assault in his own home, no matter his body-size or body-shape!

Neither should a woman under the pretext that she should 'submit' or whatever u abusing loving men call it,

ThiefOfHearts:

abi. Dont even know why I bothered. I just end up irritated and extremely glad that I dont live in Naija

Germans, Chinese come to Nigeria and call you losers monkeys and treat you like trash. You still call them "Oga sah" yet when it comes to your weak wife, that's women you wanna show off strength. [size=28pt]Embarrassing psychopaths.[/size]

of the highest order.

It's the free internet.

There is no justification for any man to raise his hands against his wife!!!! no justification!!! no matter what the woman does, men are supposed to be in control of their emotions, some women are evil!! we know that, but to push you to the point of raising your hands and hitting your wife? someone who is supposed to be your flesh and blood how would you feel if your only daughter that you love and cherish so much is being beaten and crippled by a wife beater? in the name of correcting her. is that how to correct?? what did the Bible say about correcting eachother, 'in love', is beating, slamming to the wall, slapping, 'correcting in love'.

@Ileke IdI
The day some men die, their wives would dance a little jig of freedom in the sanctity of their rooms; the way we all danced when Abacha died. . .nuff said. You don't need to acknowledge some posts. . .not all post requires you to go through the stress of typing, k?
Just ignore. . .in this case, ignoring is golden!!!



@ronkebp
Yes o. You have to discipline your wife by running a car over her foot, choking her and verbally abusing her till she losses all self worth. Then you are a MAN and you're managing your home and your woman! Tufia!!!

Liss:

Neither should a woman under the pretext that she should 'submit' or whatever u abusing loving men call it,

domestic violence is wrong by every means. . . .i will never support it.

a lot of men have been conditioned since early childhood not to hit females. my sister was older than me and could be a little devil, but i was always told by my mum and dad not to hit girls. it was like a mantra. . . . . .and i believe most men had the same kind of training.

men change later because of the type of women they have had to deal with in marriages.

ronkebp:

There is no justification for any man to raise his hands against his wife!!!! no justification!!! [b]no matter what the woman does, men are supposed to be in control of their emotions, some women are evil!! we know that, but to push you to the point of raising your hands and hitting your wife? someone who is supposed to be your flesh and blood [/b]how would you feel if your only daughter that you love and cherish so much is being beaten and crippled by a wife beater? in the name of correcting her. is that how to correct?? what did the Bible say about correcting eachother, 'in love', is beating, slamming to the wall, slapping, 'correcting in love'.

here we go again. . . .

no matter what the woman does? even when he gets his face slapped left and right, he should be in control of his emotions.
the woman delivering those slaps should not control her emotions, and her husband is not her flesh and blood!!

this kind of feminist rants is what is ruining relationships.

ronkebp:

There is no justification for any man to raise his hands against his wife!!!! no justification!!! no matter what the woman does, men are supposed to be in control of their emotions, some women are evil!! we know that, but to push you to the point of raising your hands and hitting your wife? someone who is supposed to be your flesh and blood how would you feel if your only daughter that you love and cherish so much is being beaten and crippled by a wife beater? in the name of correcting her. is that how to correct?? what did the Bible say about correcting eachother, 'in love', is beating, slamming to the wall, slapping, 'correcting in love'.

The fact that it is legal makes it justifiable. You do not understand how happy I am that in the jurisdiction I live, you can legally discipline your wife. It is only you wayward women that refuse to understand that it is done out of love.

Johndoe100:

You are a small boy, try and be Nigerian and get some liver.

There are highly effective ways of dealing with conflict in a home that does not need to result in you humiliating your wife. There are plenty of Nigerian men with happy wives who are not being disciplined left right and center. My aunt has one of the sharpest mouths you will find on a woman, but she is very respectful of her husband . . . and it has nothing to do with his flogging or slapping her.
Men like you would never command true respect from your spouses.
The horrible thing is many of you are involved in counselling new couples in your churches.

coogar:

johndoe is obviously on a wind-up.
he does not mean what he is saying whole heartedly but i get the drift of his argument.

i have seen men slapped by women in trains, trams, buses countless times and men are supposed to walk away and be a gentleman.
few months ago, i witnessed a female-on-male domestic violence in my neighbourhood, the victim called the police.

after statements were taken, they removed the man from the house that night, after few days, he later returned but was told he should just live with it, because he was taller, and theoretically stronger than his partner.

their logic seemed to be. . . .it was fine for his partner to assault him, because he would probably be able to defend  himself, and they seemed to have no idea that they were implying that it was fine for his child to see the mother attacking their father.

this is the kind of double standard men have to deal with from the police.
i believe a man should have every right to not tolerate assault in his own home, no matter his body-size or body-shape!

coogar, johndoe's argument isnt that since a woman beats a man so a man should be able to beat his wife. his argument is that a man has the ultimate authority to cane his wife should the need arise. That is nonsense.
With regard to your situation, that man needs to simply send the woman packing and find another. No one, male or female, should have to endure abuse.

divalishis:

@Ileke IdI
The day some men die, their wives would dance a little jig of freedom in the sanctity of their rooms; the way we all danced when Abacha died. . .nuff said. You don't need to acknowledge some posts. . .not all post requires you to go through the stress of typing, k?
Just ignore. . .in this case, ignoring is golden!!!

Already happening. How many Nigerian men have fallen sick in the US and died here. it was obvious what the women where waiting for. So disgusting. People in Nigeria are very good at suffering. The way you see some of these old widows behave is crazy. As soon as the man dies they act like they just broke out of jail. Don't worry though they earned it. They have their "suffering" to show for it

divalishis:

@Ileke IdI
The day some men die, their wives would dance a little jig of freedom in the sanctity of their rooms; the way we all danced when Abacha died. . .nuff said. You don't need to acknowledge some posts. . .not all post requires you to go through the stress of typing, k?
Just ignore. . .in this case, ignoring is golden!!!



@ronkebp
Yes o. You have to discipline your wife by running a car over her foot, choking her and verbally abusing her till she losses all self worth. Then you are a MAN and you're managing your home and your woman! Tufia!!!

They're really entertaining. . . . these psychopathic fools.

They obviously believe they make sense with their zero IQ display.

Yet some unfortunate women want these "bad boys". Hmm wetin pesin no go read on NL. It must be sunny on imbe-cile island somewhere around  the pacific ocean.

I agree with Coogar somewhat. CC, i think you should change the thread title to Domestic Violence. . . . . . . Now that said, i don't agree  that there's a cultural element to it, neither do I think that abusers change without some sort of threat to them. A lot of us are also mistaken in thinking that it limited to people of little means. The truth is that domestic violence is everywhere, most abusers start from putting their spouse down, gradually eroding their self confidence before graduating to full blown 'boxers'.

These women hardly leave not because they can't, but because they've also been robbed of their self worth that they simply do not believe they can stand on their own feet and make a life for themselves. I only witnessed 3 instances of domestic violence at my local Mushin area where I spent my teenage years, however, while I student I worked for the YMCA and believe me if I share some of the stories that we dealt with and among white middle class families too, you'd be shocked to your marrows.

If you know anyone in abusive relationship, chances are they won't leave the abusive partner, get them help any way you can i.e. call the police, inform relatives and whatever you can think of.

davidylan:

coogar, johndoe's argument isnt that since a woman beats a man so a man should be able to beat his wife. his argument is that a man has the ultimate authority to cane his wife should the need arise. That is nonsense.
With regard to your situation, that man needs to simply send the woman packing and find another. No one, male or female, should have to endure abuse.

johndoe is obviously winding people up.

he's probably a timid weak husband locked in the closet by his muscular wife!!

coogar:

here we go again. . . .

no matter what the woman does? even when he gets his face slapped left and right, he should be in control of his emotions.
the woman delivering those slaps should not control her emotions, and her husband is not her flesh and blood!!

this kind of feminist rants is what is ruining relationships.

not really. For starters this happens mostly where the woman has lost all respect for the dude. If your woman respects you, no amount of anger will make her try that nonsense with you.
These things are not hard to handle, your woman shows an attitude you know is NOT acceptable then simply show her the door. easy.

I have had to walk a chic out of my house at 12 midnight when she lost her temper (well justifiably so anyway  ) . . . my policy dey simple - no matter what, you are not allowed to raise your voice, raise your hands or threaten to destroy my property. Ngwah if you try any of the 3 dey go your papa house jejely before i call the cops on you. But to beat you . . . not me. I have better things to do than spend time in jail because of an id[i]i[/i]ot. Plenty of fishes in the river.

davidylan:

There are highly effective ways of dealing with conflict in a home that does not need to result in you humiliating your wife. There are plenty of Nigerian men with happy wives who are not being disciplined left right and center. My aunt has one of the sharpest mouths you will find on a woman, but she is very respectful of her husband . . . and it has nothing to do with his flogging or slapping her.
Men like you would never command true respect from your spouses.
The horrible thing is many of you are involved in counselling new couples in your churches.

coogar, johndoe's argument isnt that since a woman beats a man so a man should be able to beat his wife. his argument is that a man has the ultimate authority to cane his wife should the need arise. That is nonsense.
With regard to your situation, that man needs to simply send the woman packing and find another. No one, male or female, should have to endure abuse.

As I said before you are a child. Discipline of a wife is legal in MY country. I don't know where you are from. So long as it is legal and supported by OUR culture, and by ALL religions, who are these over pampered pets to come and challenge our ways?

Johndoe100:


As I said before you are a child. Discipline of a wife is legal in MY country. I don't know where you are from. So long as it is legal and supported by OUR culture, and by ALL religions, who are these over pampered pets to come and challenge our ways?

christianity doesnt support such barbaric behaviour dude. you must be reading your bible upside down.

naijababe:

I agree with Coogar somewhat. CC, i think you should change the thread title to Domestic Violence. . . . . . . Now that said, i don't agree  that there's a cultural element to it, neither do I think that abusers change without some sort of threat to them. A lot of us are also mistaken in thinking that it limited to people of little means. The truth is that domestic violence is everywhere, most abusers start from putting their spouse down, gradually eroding their self confidence before graduating to full blown 'boxers'.

These women hardly leave not because they can't, but because they've also been robbed of their self worth that they simply do not believe they can stand on their own feet and make a life for themselves. I only witnessed 3 instances of domestic violence at my local Mushin area where I spent my teenage years, however, while I student I worked for the YMCA and believe me if I share some of the stories that we dealt with and among white middle class families too, you'd be shocked to your marrows.

If you know anyone in abusive relationship, chances are they won't leave the abusive partner, get them help any way you can i.e. call the police, inform relatives and whatever you can think of.

No one is saying that abuse does not happen across gender.

However, the topic is currently focusing on one side of the coin; which is female abuse or wife beating.

Just because men also get their beat down should not prevent the society from discussing the tragic occurrence of female abuse, its prevention and extinction.

On the other hand, one slowpoke is busy excusing  abuse as a disciplinary method.

I don't understand what is so hard in divorce. If your wife or husband is abusive, move out. Yes, in some situations, other counfounding factors prevents the woman/man from leaving. That is what this thread is supposed to discuss for the females. If husband beating is MORE of an issue for some ppl, why not simply create a thread.

Some people, obviously do not understand the depth of spousal abuse, that's why they continue to make excuses for it. Seriously " men also get abuse"? no duh.