naijababe:

I agree with Coogar somewhat. CC, i think you should change the thread title to Domestic Violence. . . . . . .

If you know anyone in abusive relationship, chances are they won't leave the abusive partner, get them help any way you can i.e. call the police, inform relatives and whatever you can think of.

thank you, the babe from naija!
i was beginning to think i was in [i]babel [/i]when everyone started speaking different languages.

davidylan:

not really. For starters this happens mostly where the woman has lost all respect for the dude. If your woman respects you, no amount of anger will make her try that nonsense with you.
These things are not hard to handle, your woman shows an attitude you know is NOT acceptable then simply show her the door. easy.

in marriage?

I have had to walk a chic out of my house at 12 midnight when she lost her temper (well justifiably so anyway  ) . . . my policy dey simple - no matter what, you are not allowed to raise your voice, raise your hands or threaten to destroy my property. Ngwah if you try any of the 3 dey go your papa house jejely before i call the cops on you. But to beat you . . . not me. I have better things to do than spend time in jail because of an id[i]i[/i]ot. Plenty of fishes in the river.

david, if this scenario plays out in marriage, you would walk her out?
did you not read the story of that nigerian ambassador that was constantly abused by his wife. . . .yet, it was the woman that told an excellent tale by moonlight until the man's son revealed what actually happened!!!

the issue is. . . . .men and women can be violent.
feminists have brainwashed today's kids that only men abuse domestically.

coogar:

johndoe is obviously winding people up.

he's probably a timid weak husband locked in the closet by his muscular wife!!

Listen man, if you don't have the courage of your convictions that is your problem. For me I mean what I say, I have no need of approval by girls no older than school kids. I say it like it is believe me.

ronkebp:

[size=18pt]There is no justification for any man to raise his hands against his wife!!!! no justification!!! no matter what the woman does, men are supposed to be in control of their emotions, some women are evil!! we know that, but to push you to the point of raising your hands and hitting your wife? [/size] someone who is supposed to be your flesh and blood how would you feel if your only daughter that you love and cherish so much is being beaten and crippled by a wife beater? in the name of correcting her. is that how to correct?? what did the Bible say about correcting eachother, 'in love', is beating, slamming to the wall, slapping, 'correcting in love'.

Do you see how hypocrisy stinks from the comment in bold?

So if a wife slams pestle on the husbands head he still doesnt have the right to do nada

I would have been expecting something in the line of "there is no justification for any human to hit another human but not with womenfolks

They have the right to hit but not be hit back

Your mom goes visiting your brother and his GF/wife decides to beat your mom black and blue. Your brother should simply walk away because theres no Justification for a man beating . . ,

Is the man not the womans flesh and blood? What justification can be for a woman battering or even cussing her flesh and blood

David simple question, If your mom comes to visit and your wife decides to beat her up.

sitting on the mom, Would you be the man and simply walk out of that situation?

Mine is both parties should be responsible and matured enough. The burden of sanity and resposibilty is on both and not just one

coogar:

in marriage?

david, if[b] this scenario plays out in marriage, you would walk her out?[/b]
did you not read the story of that nigerian ambassador that was constantly abused by his wife. . . .yet, it was the woman that told an excellent tale by moonlight until the man's son revealed what actually happened!!!

the issue is. . . . .men and women can be violent.
feminists have brainwashed today's kids that only men abuse domestically.

that's why we have the dating period, you decide what you can or cannot handle. Should such happen in a marriage then obviously you wont be walking her out at night but there are better ways of handling her that does not require using your belt. Ignore her, walk off to another room and you both cool off. Later if there is need to call a family meeting to put her straight then do so. Obviously you must have loved this woman for you to marry her . . . that love doesnt just evaporate because she yelled at you.

Should she not change her behaviour then file papers, divorce her and move on. opari. God will forgive you.

dayokanu:

David simple question, If your mom comes to visit and your wife decides to beat her up.

sitting on the mom, Would you be the man and simply walk out of that situation?

So beating her would solve the issue?

Or what exactly are you trying to point out here?

Ileke-IdI:

So beating her would solve the issue?

Or what exactly are you trying to point out here?

I would go to jail first before watching anyone beat my mom. Point made!!

dayokanu:

David simple question, If your mom comes to visit and your wife decides to beat her up.

sitting on the mom, Would you be the man and simply walk out of that situation?

Mine is both parties should be responsible and matured enough. The burden of sanity and resposibilty is on both and not just one

I just have to ask . . . where do you folks find these animals like this to marry? The very first thing any woman finds out when she meets me is that respect for my parents at least is HIGHLY important. If you cant abide by that then maybe we shld just be friends.
How will my wife beat my mother?   For what? Did she come and take her garri?

davidylan:

that's why we have the dating period, you decide what you can or cannot handle. Should such happen in a marriage then obviously you wont be walking her out at night but there are better ways of handling her that does not require using your belt. Ignore her, walk off to another room and you both cool off. Later if there is need to call a family meeting to put her straight then do so. Obviously you must have loved this woman for you to marry her . . . that love doesnt just evaporate because she yelled at you.

Should she not change her behaviour then file papers, divorce her and move on. opari. God will forgive you.

now i know you have not really seen psychos. . . .

there's this friend of mine who normally ignores his wife's tantrums. . . .everytime there's a bust, he grabs the car-keys and walks out.
after a while, the woman stepped up her game. the moment there's a heated argument, she hides the car-keys and locks the main doors.
she then blocks the door and prevents the man from ignoring her. . . . .

how do you deal with those?
simply ignoring doesn't solve the problem. . . .sometimes a bit of shoving around works well for the psychos.
shove them around but with a reasonable force.

dayokanu:

David simple question, If your mom comes to visit and your wife decides to beat her up.

sitting on the mom, Would you be the man and simply walk out of that situation?

david is a peace loving man.
he would walk the two of them out. . . . .he loves his plasma screen!

davidylan:

I just have to ask . . . where do you folks find these animals like this to marry? The very first thing any woman finds out when she meets me is that respect for my parents at least is HIGHLY important. If you cant abide by that then maybe we shld just be friends.
How will my wife beat my mother?   For what? Did she come and take her garri?

you probably don't know women change with time. . . . .
a glance at some topics on this section would tell you exactly what's happening out there.

you marry an angel, she turns into a demon after marriage.
a complete 360 degree turnaround you never thought she had in her.

why are you people bringing up odd exceptions?

How many women do you know have the guts to beat up another man not to talk of their husbands? Are you alright?

You REALLY wanna compare the number of women who are beaten up by their husbands to women that hit theirs? You wanna sit there and say it's a fair and even amount?

What is wrong with you people?

You would really kneel and propose to someone that would hit you or your family members? Are you not supposed to be the "stronger/logical" sex or what is this BULLSHYT that Im reading

davidylan:

I just have to ask . . . where do you folks find these animals like this to marry? The very first thing any woman finds out when she meets me is that respect for my parents at least is HIGHLY important. If you cant abide by that then maybe we shld just be friends.
How will my wife beat my mother?   For what? Did she come and take her garri?

I have seen this happen before.

And the most violent ones were once loving angels too.

Simple question, In that scenario what do you do? Walk out?

ThiefOfHearts:

why are you people bringing up odd exceptions?

How many women do you know have the guts to beat up another man not to talk of their husbands? Are you alright?

You REALLY wanna compare the number of women who are beaten up by their husbands to women that hit theirs? You wanna sit there and say it's a fair and even amount?

What is wrong with you people?

You would really kneel and propose to someone that would hit you or your family members? Are you not supposed to be the "stronger/logical" sex or what is this BULLSHYT that Im reading

There are more peaceful men than violent ones, But on this thread we choose to discuss the minority who are violent Do you have any problems with that?

men are violent, Women are violent. Some in their violent rage can do anything and claim "they were angry". Havent you seen someone who threw acid on the other in their moments?

The topic should not be changed. Domestic abuse on women is a huge issue in Nigeria. It is a national embarassment.

@coogar
for your friend:
you cause problem at home and run away, coming back much later to ask for food and s.hag? no, some prefer you dont just take car key and run away. stay and talk it out esp if you the cause of the problem in the first place  

davidylan:

Should she not change her behaviour then file papers, divorce her and move on. opari. God will forgive you.

Very simple.

why would anyone even wanna be in a marriage with someone they have to HIT/HURT before the woman can "respect" them and since when is fear the same as respect?

coogar:

david is a peace loving man.
he would walk the two of them out. . . . .he loves his plasma screen!

my brother, my peace of mind cannot be compromised in any way o. Neither can my flat screen TV.

coogar:

now i know you have not really seen psychos. . . .

there's this friend of mine who normally ignores his wife's tantrums. . . .everytime there's a bust, he grabs the car-keys and walks out.
after a while, the woman stepped up her game. the moment there's a heated argument, she hides the car-keys and locks the main doors.
she then blocks the door and prevents the man from ignoring her. . . . .

how do you deal with those?
simply ignoring doesn't solve the problem. . . .sometimes a bit of shoving around works well for the psychos.
shove them around but with a reasonable force.

perhaps its because i choose with care. You can tell a psycho very easily, most of us are just too blinded by facial appearance and bo[i]o[/i]b size to make rational lifelong decisions with extreme care.
A woman who frequently brushes off your feelings is most likely going to be a devil in your marriage. Let her go . . .

Like i said earlier . . . i was never a proponent of this before but divorce is a good tool to settling problems like this. Better to have my sanity than be staying late hours in the office to avoid a complete she-devil.

Ileke-IdI:

No one is saying that abuse does not happen across gender.
However, the topic is currently focusing on one side of the coin; which is female abuse or wife beating.

Just because men also get their beat down should not prevent the society from discussing the tragic occurrence of female abuse, its prevention and extinction.  If husband beating is MORE of an issue for some ppl, why not simply create a thread.

Focusing on one side has done wonders jare and men have stopped abusing their wives  .

Ileke-IdI:

I don't understand what is so hard in divorce. If your wife or husband is abusive, move out.
Some people, obviously do not understand the depth of spousal abuse, that's why they continue to make excuses for it.  If husband beating is MORE of an issue for some ppl, why not simply create a thread. . Seriously " men also get abuse"? no duh.

The bolded comments smacks of ignorance, maybe you should read more about survivors, they'll tell you why it's hard.

Shoving around is never acceptable. A woman who gets that physically agressive should not be married. If she plants herself in the way after after hiding the key then she might start hitting if the man gets spare keys and just leaves anyway. I feel that is a step closer to hitting him if she actually plants her body in the way when he is clearly trying to get away. It is better to be divorced than in jail

dayokanu:

There are more peaceful men than violent ones, But on this thread we choose to discuss the minority who are violent Do you have any problems with that?

men are violent, Women are violent. Some in their violent rage can do anything and claim "they were angry". Havent you seen someone who threw acid on the other in their moments?

Says who? Isnt r-ape the #1 crime in South Africa? That's peaceful to you? The people dying in the North? Wsnt there a mass intimate assault of women in Southern Nigeria a few months back? That's peaceful in your mind? Who are you to say who's a minority and who isnt regarding this issue? The only people who can say so are the women who go thru these things. You are being VERY rude and dismissing abuse women all over are goikng thru in the name of defending menfolk. The only person you should speak for is yourself. Dont speak for other women or men.

as for the acid attacks. I remember when that mess started in mid 90s. It was men throwing battery acid on their wives/gfs. Ive heard that women have joined in that madness. Am I supposed to be arguing about who started it first or why would you even bring that up?

Can you guys go back to Sports and stop ruining this thread with abnormal exceptions?

naijababe:

Focusing on one side has done wonders jare and men have stopped abusing their wives  .

The bolded comments smacks of ignorance, maybe you should read more about survivors, they'll tell you why it's hard.

did you read the other part where i acknowledge that some do not find it that easy? while some that do still DECIDE not to divorce.
Even in a non-abusive relationship, some find it hard to leave.

[size=28pt]Yes, in some situations, other counfounding factors prevents the woman/man from leaving. That is what this thread is supposed to discuss for the females. If husband beating is MORE of an issue for some ppl, why not simply create a thread. [/size]

dayokanu:

I would go to jail first before watching anyone beat my mom. Point made!!

1. how does a loving wife and a respectable wife suddenly beats her mother-in-law in one day? Did you marry a psychopath?

2. What if it was an act of defense. seriously, we have some wicked mother-in-laws, still does not excuse the fact that she beat her mother-in-law.

3. how does beating her AFTER the fight going to solve anything?


But i really want to know how a loving wife that you chose suddenly turns against her mother in-law.

Sorry, I seem to be missing somthing here. As johndoe said beating your wife is legal in Nigeria, our culture supports it and religions ok it. So what is the problem or rather the point of this thread?
It seems that the point is an attempt by people who live outside Nigeria to change us. Now how patronising is that?

Rofl. Please dont be offended

Go back to sleeping in huts while you're at it.

davidylan:

my brother, my peace of mind cannot be compromised in any way o. Neither can my flat screen TV.

i thought as much.

perhaps its because i choose with care. You can tell a psycho very easily, most of us are just too blinded by facial appearance and bo[i]o[/i]b size to make rational lifelong decisions with extreme care.
A woman who frequently brushes off your feelings is most likely going to be a devil in your marriage. Let her go . . .

are you sure?

Like i said earlier . . . i was never a proponent of this before but divorce is a good tool to settling problems like this. Better to have my sanity than be staying late hours in the office to avoid a complete she-devil.

divorce is wrong in the eyes of some people. they consider it a sin!

armyofone:

@coogar
for your friend:
you cause problem at home and run away, coming back much later to ask for food and s.hag? no, some prefer you dont just take car key and run away. stay and talk it out esp if you the cause of the problem in the first place  

then she should not complain when she gets her face battered!

why does this coon keep harping about divorce being a sin but not hurting one's wife?

Then again everyone knows Naija churches are garbage which iis why the followers keep yarning dust

There is no justification for anyone to hit another person. . .Period.

However, we all know the percentage of wives beating their husbands is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay lower than men beating their wives. . . for every 1 abused man, there are a thousand abused women. To deny that would be completely idiotic. . .I mean Johndoe type idiotic.

talk it out, argue, debate the situation, pros and cons it etc. but not by using your hands, how hard? they say men don't know how to talk, really?? go see them argueing abt games/soccer/football etc.

i think its anger management on the male part.

9to5365:

Sorry, I seem to be missing somthing here.  As johndoe said beating your wife is legal in Nigeria, our culture supports it and religions ok it. So what is the problem or rather the point of this thread?
It seems that the point is an attempt by people who live outside Nigeria to change us. Now how patronising is that?

ROFLMAO kai! na gaji

Sisi_Kill:

However, we all know the percentage of wives beating their husbands is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay lower than men beating their wives. . . for every 1 abused man, there are a thousand abused women. To deny that would be completely idiotic. . .I mean Johndoe type idiotic.

They just keep grasping for straws.

Dayo i do not want to compare and contrast was just sticking to the topic, i will never support a wife beating- up her mother-in-law, what kind of disrespect is that/ God forbid bad thing, will i like it if my hubby throws blow at my dad tufiakwa!!!!, let such a thing not happen IN JESUS NAME, AMEN. (that being said). I am not being one sided, what amount of strength can a woman have to go into physical comabat with a man, shebi all na real time shakara, that women will be flexing the muscles they don't have, the man will panelbeat the living hell out of her. All am saying is that the 'men', should know what women are made up of, and control their anger, i know many times that some men ignore their wives' rant and out of frustration the woman will go and beg her husband, but beating her and making a mess out of her infront of her children? will make the children look down on thier father even if they do not utter any word, but in their heart of hearts they are definitely not happy, even if their mum is at fault.

dayokanu:

David simple question, If your mom comes to visit and your wife decides to beat her up.

sitting on the mom, Would you be the man and simply walk out of that situation?

Mine is both parties should be responsible and matured enough. The burden of sanity and resposibilty is on both and not just one

Dayo, I believe in a situation like that, the better question would be. . .Why of all the women in the world, you chose to marry a RABID DOG?  

TOH,,Are you saying there are more criminals than Law abiding citizens?

if not then we are discussing the minority criminals here

There are more men who DONT beat their wives than those who DO

Ileke idi.

1. How did a loving man and respectable husband become a monster like Akolade Arowolo

2. What if the husband beating the wife too is an act of self defence you know some women are evil.

3. What does a woman/man beating the other stand to gain

ThiefOfHearts:

why does this coon keep harping about divorce being a sin but not hurting one's wife?

Then again everyone knows Naija churches are garbage which iis why the followers keep yarning dust

because you were raised from a broken home does not mean everyone would subject themselves to that kind of childhood.
i believe your parents also go to nigerian churches - so the dust yarning probably started from the cradle for you.

armyofone:

talk it out, argue, debate the situation, pros and cons it etc. but not by using your hands, how hard? they say men don't know how to talk, really?? go see them argueing abt games/soccer/football etc.

debate and argue with a woman throwing objects in every direction. . . .
how pleasant!!!

Sisi_Kill:

Dayo, I believe in a situation like that, the better question would be. . .Why of all the women in the world, you chose to marry a RABID DOG? 

Maybe we should ask the women who are victim of domestic abuse why they chose to marry the rabid dog?

Ask Akolades wife why she choose to marry him?

men beat women, Its the mans fault for being violent and lacking self control

Women beat men Its also the mans fault for marrying a rabid dog.

At what point in time or in what scenario does the woman take responsibility?

dayokanu:

Maybe we should ask the women who are victim of domestic abuse why they chose to marry the rabid dog?

Ask Akolades wife why she choose to marry him?

men beat women, Its the mans fault for being violent and lacking self control

Women beat men Its also the mans fault for marrying a rabid dog.

At what point in time or in what scenario does the woman take responsibility?

they don't
if the man didn't marry a rabid dog, it's because women are emotional or they simply blame their hormones!
bunch of hypocrites!