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Stats: 1076891 members, 1265340 topics. Date: Wednesday, 19 June 2013 at 07:28 PM
|My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 11:58pm On Sep 22, 2011|
Okay, there’s this guy whom I’ve known for about six years now. He’s a good Christian and a fine black brother if you like them slim and athletic. This guy is so humble, unassuming and decent. He’s intelligent too. We’re like best friends and have kept in touch over the years.
We don’t see so often but when we do see and are hanging out at his place, we gist and play board games for hours and not once has he ever behaved inappropriately towards me like trying to lure me into bed or something. I feel so at peace with him and protected because he has never tried to take advantage of me. This guy seriously has 85 percent of the qualities I want in man (which is an excellent percentage, you'd agree with me).
The thing is; he confessed to me that we would make sense together and that he cares about me but so far, he just wouldn’t make things official.
At a point, it was driving me crazy because I had this good guy right in front of me but at the same time, he was so far away from my reach.
It’s a crazy situation because I really like him but I’m getting fed up of pining on him. I can’t even identify him as my boyfriend since we’re not officially couples.
I feel if he really cares, then he would have made a real move. What would you advise me to do?? Do I move on and allow another guy into my heart?
I'm a girl who appreciates a real man when I see one. Which is why I'm going to all this trouble! Is there any way to quicken the transition from being 'just friends' to being 'more than friends?'
Thanks in advance. . . .
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by sexkillz(m): 12:19am On Sep 23, 2011|
lola.luv:Yeah! Swallow whatever pride you have and ask him! Something must be holding him back, and you may never know until you ask him! Else you may just remain as friends! And you'll live with regret! Dont make immoral advances though, else you lose the respect he has for you! His answer determines if you move on and allow another guy into your heart! It'll only be fair and more trajectory if you ask!
BTW have you heard the song "Tell him", by Celine Dion?
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 12:22am On Sep 23, 2011|
Thanks, SexkillZ. I wouldn't try anything immoral. Except I want to lose him totally.
So you mean I should ask him about what he feels or what?? Gosh, that's hard!
lol. Yeah, I've heard the song. . . .
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by sexkillz(m): 12:26am On Sep 23, 2011|
lola.luv:Of course that's hard! Good things dont come easy! But wouldnt you rather tell him what you feel or ask him what he feels, than wondering if? How long do you think you'll keep wondering & Waiting & Hoping? Go for it girl, and lift that burden off your heart!
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 12:34am On Sep 23, 2011|
But do you think he feels the way I feel? Why hasn't he spoken up?? Maybe, he sees me as just a friend??
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by sexkillz(m): 12:51am On Sep 23, 2011|
lola.luv:Huh? Are you kidding me? Just as a friend? Hell no! "unassuming and decent. We don’t see so often but when we do see and are hanging out at his place, we gist and play board games for hours and not once has he ever behaved inappropriately towards me like trying to lure me into bed or something. I feel so at peace with him and protected because he has never tried to take advantage of me. The thing is; he confessed to me that we would make sense together and that he cares about me but so far,"
Those were your words! A guy that truly loves a girl from the heart, never ever ever tries to take advantage of her or coerce her into sex, even when the opportunity is there! Since he has already told you, you guys would make sense together, What is holding him back could be the same questions you've asked: "do you think she feels the way I feel? Why hasn't she spoken up??" Maybe, she sees me as just a friend?? Add to that, he may not have achieved what he really wants in life or He doesn't wanna have a girlfriend and not have money, Because he feels he should be able to do certain things if he's a boyfriend. So maybe he'll feel less like a man if that doesnt happen! I'm just saying, but it could be possible!
All your assumptions would be laid to rest if you summon the courage to ask him sweetie! Hit the final nail on the coffin of your fear and ask him!
Lola, would you really wanna see this guy in the arms of Another lady?
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 1:16am On Sep 23, 2011|
Thanx again, sexkillz. That was some straight talk. Nope, I wouldn't be happy seeing him with another lady on his arms, especially if I'm not with somebody like him. . . .
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by davidylan(m): 1:22am On Sep 23, 2011|
sexkillz said it all, its funny how you both can talk about everything under the earth except perhaps the one burning topic on the tip of your tongues - both of you!
Sit him down and talk to him as a friend, even if (and this is a remote chance) he doesnt fancy you, he sounds like the kind of guy who would be matured in his reaction to it in order not to make you feel uncomfortable.
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by deniyor: 1:29am On Sep 23, 2011|
Sexkillz to the rescue.
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by sexkillz(m): 1:41am On Sep 23, 2011|
Yeah! Funny Feeling really! This kind of love really lasts if they can just let their emotions flow! Hi Bro! Sup? Miss those arguments!
With you by my side man!
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by M M M(m): 12:43pm On Sep 23, 2011|
(seduce him(seduce him
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by claremont(m): 12:48pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Many a lady have watched in silent awe as angels passed them by, simply because they lacked the confidence to ask for their blessings; these same ladies have ended up with demons instead. Why a mature, confident, and well-educated girl finds it difficult to ask a guy out is totally beyond me!
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Nayah(f): 12:52pm On Sep 23, 2011|
My sister, have you ever felt this guy has something for you? I mean sometimes you can feel any attraction, is that your case? if so then go for it!
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by 9dynasty(m): 12:56pm On Sep 23, 2011|
like triple M said seduce him. . .properly. . .he'll go for it totally. . .it will work for me and where's 190
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 1:06pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Hey, no seductions will be happening! I said he was a strong christian and I am developing myself spiritually too!! Do you want him to see me as the Delilah that will make him fall from God's grace
SexKillz advised me to tell him how I feel as well as other well meaning guys here. But the thing is; I'm really scared of making a move that would drive him further away.
I'm beginning to wonder if he's looking to get somebody else. He has refused to say a word apart from the initial statement he made which is about 10 months now!
Maybe he doesn't like me the way I like him
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Nayah(f): 1:14pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Maybe he does and is too shy to tell you , because I don't want you to get your mind troubled, if you don't know this will continue and it's painful
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by born2fuck(m): 1:18pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Myabe you should get yourself Unclad when next you are with him,if his Joystick rise, he would lose total control
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by .NET(m): 1:23pm On Sep 23, 2011|
During my University days, there was this chic who had a long crush on me (and I did not know). She did not know how I was going to respond (or react) if she ever told me about her feelings. Sometimes, I observed that she was acting up somehow whenever I was around, but I did not bother myself, because I didnt know what was on her mind (I dont read minds)
One day, she mustered the courage to tell me. Although we eventually did not date, we became BETTER friends. She became her normal self and did not have to bother herself about how I was going to react ('cos I explained politely without insulting her, why we could not be intimate).
Today, she is married to a very nice guy and we are still very good friends and she still holds me in high esteem.
Lola, my advice is that you sit down with this guy and tell him your mind. From your description, you've known him for a while, so I know he won't bite. If he returns your love, then congrats. If not, no wahala! At least, you have let it off your chest. Stop burning slowly my dear. Tell him how you feel. Who knows? The feeling might just be mutual, but how can you know if you dont tell him
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Cuddlemii: 1:32pm On Sep 23, 2011|
This story is not quite realistic. Are you saying for 6 years both of you were never in a relationship with others. I mean the guy was single for 6 years. Just be sure he is single .
Anyways let me find a way around it for you. After being in a friendship for 6 years then you should be able to address anything with that person. I suggest you have a matured discussion with him, not necessarily asking him out. Just tell him in lay man's language that you guys have been friends for a while, you adore & respect him a lot, you have fallen for him and wonder why both of you are not in a relationship considering the special bond you already share. Ask what is his take on that, does he feel the same & what do you both do about the feelings & tension building up. Trust me if he is as intelligent & matured as you paint him to be, he won't mock you or gossip about it because you are his close friend. He will take it up from there, just start the paragraph & let him finish it then both of you put the full stop together. But don't write the whole paragraph so that he can express himself & you can read between his lines, body language and actions. If he is my kind of guy, he would kiss you for expressing your feelings and say "shhhh, my angel don't talk too much, I feel it too, you know I have always cared and you know, you are my baby". If the emotions are too much, you can start crying cos 6 years is some deep stuffs, you might wanna get handkerchiefs around you. Find a romantic place to do the expressing or do it where both of you first met, just do it right.
Don't get carried away O, just a kiss please, remember you have gotten his attention, now you have to keep it .
please disregard the romantics and work on the advice & location of the discussion, if possible if a place that is not close to a bed, or chair, do it on a stool, something you can't rest on. please I'm a clown so take not of only relevant stuffs. Best of luck with luv, lola luv.
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by kimberluge(f): 1:48pm On Sep 23, 2011|
.NET:i LUV DIS PARTICULAR REPLY DATS Y I'M POSTING MY BUT SEXSKILLS UR ALSO GUD,I GUESS U TWO WILL MAKE GOOD PSYCHOLOGISTS OR COUNSELLORS,POSTER,TAKE DIER ADVICES,BONNE CHANCE!
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Nayah(f): 1:52pm On Sep 23, 2011|
^lol a bit frenchy
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 1:53pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Thanks with all the replies. The first three years I knew him, I was single and I was keeping myself available. But when he didn't talk and I couldn't even pinpoint him as my boyfriend when I'm asked who I'm dating, I had to enter other relationships last three years (which didn't work out).
We don't stay in the same state so we don't get to see that often. But when we see, it's like we've never been apart!
He's still not 'talking the talk' and I feel like like, if I date someone else at this point, its going to be a permanent thang! So before that, I'd just like to know if he was into me. Then I don't have to leave!!!
He has never asked about my love life. I don't ask him either. We talk about a lot of things but not that! (What do u think about that??)
The only girl I know with him is his first love, whom he told me about and showed me her pictures. . . .
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Spicyhawt: 2:00pm On Sep 23, 2011|
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Kx: 2:00pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Ur not telling him aint killing him but you.
why die in silence?
Has it become unthinkable for an educated lady to tell a guy what she feels for him, even if this is africa?
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by lola.luv(f): 2:04pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Ok. Thank you
Yes, CUDDLEMII's reply had me cracking up. . . .
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by horny4u(f): 2:52pm On Sep 23, 2011|
I beg to differ with the ask him out, when you ask him today ,
are you ready to propose to him tomorrow
are you ready to pay his groom price
are you ready to ask him for sex
are you ready to provide and protect him
are you ready to take "I am sorry but you are like a sister t me"
Women are not helpless but subtle.
Seducing does not mean drop your gstring ,
it means act feminine around him ,
Laugh at his jokes in a girly way,
Use the power of body language,
Admire his muscles,
Cook for him ,
wink at him,
touch him playfully,
Adjust his tie,
If all of the above fails , then he doesnot fancy you as a girlfriend,
A man may be shy but he is not
and when most men see what they want and it is flashing green like a disco light they have it in them to plunge themselves in.
If you date him and marry him, my dear you will take all the decisions and wear the trouser for as long as you are together, be patient , wear your tightest jeans, be very sweet and girly, a woman does not need more than being a feminine woman to get a man who likes her.
The moment you ask him out your attraction in his eyes will diminish.
All in all good luck with the decision you take
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Boyloaf(m): 3:41pm On Sep 23, 2011|
horny4u:u took these words out of my mouth. I dnt knw wat others r blabbin abt.
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by horny4u(f): 3:54pm On Sep 23, 2011|
No mind them, they are putting themselves in the guys shoe for free P
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Madukaele(m): 4:09pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Poster tell him dis story or beta still let him read dis and tell him to advice. To see what he will say.
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by Cuddlemii: 4:21pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Boy, go back to your loaf of bread. Who is blabbing? Did anyone say she should ask him out. We said they should have a matured discussion. How can someone be friends with a guy for 6 years with no formal relationship yet she nursed feelings which made her other relationship not to work, instead of you to tackle that, you are facing us for expressing ourselves. The last time I checked I still have my fundamental human right to speak so I don't know of the others you mentioned, but as for, I wasn't blabbing as I didn't take it so serious as you guys did. Jeez, go and eat a full bread that Princek1's thread on giving it up on the 1st day, just then will I consider you reasonable.
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by sexkillz(m): 4:52pm On Sep 23, 2011|
horny4u:What a farce! Sorry to say, but i'm yet to see a comment as fallacious as this! You sound as if this is obtainable with ALL & SUNDRY! Well if i works for you, and the people you've been meeting, well. . . . .
|Re: My friend and my feelings.... by sexkillz(m): 4:55pm On Sep 23, 2011|
Boyloaf:Hey Boy! So other people's comment is now blabbing? Huh? Did you say so when we also commented on your thread when you came on here for advice? You must have a very short unenviable memory then! One advice bro! QUIT typing with your Bottom! I mean this in a good way!
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