UgoBabe:

ABIIII

am listening to the foolishness written here: its ok, i married one, my uncle married one, i have two obamas- clap for yourselves. After being the product of colonialsim- i don't understand how black men can want to voluntarily become intimate with their former colonizers,

poster- don't go there!!!! those who marry foreigners are LOSERS!!! I SAID IT, marry your own- that is the best. With the exception of our men who do it for papers- I have LOW respect for black men who marry outside. I think they suffer from inferiority complex and use their white/foreign "wives" to compensate for the hatred they have for themselves,
IT IS A BETRAYAL to marry outside, if you didnt know it- am telling you,

Shola (f):

There is absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a white lady, my husband is from Scotland and we are enjoying the best of both worlds.

justwise:

I can't understand how a black woman would want to live in her colonial masters's country. Is she not a loser?

Tarzan2009:

It is a common knowledge that WHITE women are the most loyal and most respectful to their spouses of all races. I am not saying all, but the overwhelming majority of them are loyal to their husbands. Speaking from experience, dated a few white and black women in college, I can tell you that they are very CALM and don't run their mouths to give you headache. Ended up marrying my petroleum engineering classmate, though she is mixed, but she's damn loyal and I respect her for that. She doesn't yell or arrive at conclusions easily, but takes her time and does it methodically. Most of my friends(Nigerians) about 7 of them are married to white women. Keep in mind that these  guys are professionals, doctors, engineers and lawyers, didn't married them for some socioeconomic reasons, but for genuine search for PEACEFUL LIFE. Some of these guys have been married before to Nigerian women and one phrase I always get from them is , I HAVE NO REGRET. One told me that, I have never known peace in my life until I married this white woman.  

I tell women that, most men have conscience, and as men and by nature, we want to be respected and in return, we will love you unconditionally.  Be respectful and loyal. When I say "loyal",  I know some women on here will jump on me, I don't mean subservient to the man but know that he is the head of the family and if you need to have your opinion heard, do it respectfully as a woman and I tell you what, a true MAN, will LOVE you and respect you for that.

Go for it Bro if you think you found in her what you looking for in a woman.  Caveat, Never make the mistake to go back home or to the village to marry a woman you don't know, never met before, no chemistry, no attraction, for God in heaven, how do you think that will work in this modern age? It may have worked in the past for our forebears, but not in today's world, humans are more wiser.  Most of the men who went back home to marry are today in mental homes or demoralized beyond resuscitation.  This is my two cents,

El Guapo:

@Op, Moving away frm ya Story, lemme Use myself as a Case Study.

I did grew up in Madrid, got socialised by evry available agent that came across me and took myself in as a Spaniard though Dad was a Nigerian.
Though i married a Nigerian gurl, i never at any time considered it pivotal or an act that portrays that i've gat my mind at home, i only took the decision cos my Mexican fiancee had to cheat on me which gave me a bad impression bout the whiteys then!

So contrary to your assumption that u're feeling like a Judas by Marrying a White Instead of a Black Lady doesn't mean anything, it all depends on the Character, Ambition and set-out principles of the White Lady u wanna marry! I can vouch that 75% of White ladies would make berra Wives than Nigerian gurls <some>!

justwise:

I can't understand how a black woman would want to live in her colonial masters's country. Is she not a loser?

UgoBabe:

come on now, that is just dumb , no basis for comparison

Shola (f):

Jealous!.

andyanders:

I have taken my time to study cases like yours and stand to say that this issue of marriage has effect on persons involved. You can marry each other under these reasons; if your parents, both stay abroad and understand the culture that is obtainable there.

If your parents stay back home and have not travelled or have not mixed up with the outside world, it is going to be a problem. Reasons being that in our culture, we have relations and we depend on each other to build up our lives. Parents depend on their children to assist them when they are old. Back home people expect you to build a house and also to remember where you are coming from.

From either of the marriages, it has its own advantage and disadvantage. If you marry say, a white woman from American, just have it mind that you should not bring up your family live to your home. You do not say, you plan to train your sibblings or to assist your paprents financilay as this will bring legal actions against you. You both can only plan on you both income and not to carry your own family along. As Africans we tend to forget these issues when the love we come across over there take over our life style. In the US, a friend of mine’s wife,  called the cops on her husband, a Nigerian because he sent money back home for the parents and the lady felt bad and was confrontational and my friend reacted negatively. If you make savings, she wants to go for vacation and blow the money, not to remember the ones he left behind.

Our parents suffered to train us and we owe them a lot. Over there, their government  help and assist them build up their lives. It’s not our culture.
If you marry from your culture here, the lady will help you build up your live and try to help you invest your money by telling you, look, Mr. John, Mr.  Mike is doing well. She wants you to build a home and also establish. She will be praying for you. The white woman wants, love, love, love, kiss and all sorts of things like that. That’s their culture, not ours.
A white woman is all after herself and her children and once they are 18yrs, they start building their own lives. Once they are old, they will be dumped in old people’s homes. That is not our culture. Our ladies are more accommodating and patient. Forget about how some of our ladies behave. They are 90% better than their foreign counterpart.  I know that some of our ladies are bad, but they cannot be compared to the  attitude of the so called white women who tend to think after themselves.

UgoBabe:

ABIIII

am listening to the foolishness written here: its ok, i married one, my uncle married one, i have two obamas- clap for yourselves. After being the product of colonialsim- i don't understand how black men can want to voluntarily become intimate with their former colonizers,

poster- don't go there!!!! those who marry foreigners are LOSERS!!! I SAID IT, marry your own- that is the best. With the exception of our men who do it for papers- I have LOW respect for black men who marry outside. I think they suffer from inferiority complex and use their white/foreign "wives" to compensate for the hatred they have for themselves,


IT IS A BETRAYAL to marry outside, if you didnt know it- am telling you,

Lacoolmley:

@Poster: With time spent, emotion grows. I’m sure while in Nigeria, you felt same way about your girlfriend or someone you really fancied. Life in a foreign land is quite different and you will tend to see her companionship and the intimacy as extra special. Truth is that it is all the same. But in the case of marriage, you have to look at the long term. Love will make her initially agree to moving back home to [b]Africa[/b][color=#990000][/color][/font][font=Lucida Sans Unicode] with you but is that really possible considering the cultural differences, etc. What will happen when she starts talking about spending money on a holiday while you are yet to embark on a project back home? Oyibo love dey off O, e dey get expiry date. I’m sure you truly love her else you won’t be bothered about asking people on Nairaland, but marriage isn’t only about love.

UgoBabe:


sorry to divert this thread to raise this point, but what u and some other africans do really annoy me, you know he is referring to nigeria so y do you call it afrcia instead of nigeriawhen you use africa in the place of the actual country - it makes africa seem to be a country instead of the wide diverse continent it is, i get annoyed when non- africans refer to africa as if it a country- and most times they r ignorant and do not know otherwise so it really pisses me off that we africans are equally as dumb for doing the same thing, instead of saying i went to ghana you will see someone saying i went to africa?? isnt that dumb africa is a continent but it is these stoopid behaviours that makes stoopid people think so, no one says i went to europe when they tell you i went to jand, or i went to paris, etc etc, biko, lets correct this type of behaviour

Lax75:

I totally understand your feeling on this matter!! Wow! Thought I was the only one. It really gets under my skin. Let the non-Africans do it, but when Africans do it, it feeds ignorance. But from what I've noticed, those that usually do this are the ones who have totally lost their identities, and that's why they end up looking at Africa the same way non-Africans do . . . as a country

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Ranoscky:

Nothing but the RAW and UNDILUTED truth !!!
As I was abouto reply your comment, I had something in mind but decided to confirm it b4 typing. . . .I looked at your username and behold, I WAS RIGHT (Ibo girl)!!!

Now I see where you'r coming from, so therefor, I comment my reserve!

tinkinfela:

Thanks everyone for your input to the thread. It's true, true love does not know race. Of course, there can be added difficulties due to cultural differences that can make marriage harder than it already is; but, if there is love, there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome. For those saying I should concentrate on my studies and ignore this distraction for now, I'm sure if you're in a relationship with someone for 2.5 years, regardless of race, at one point, you would start to think about your future together. You would talk about it at some point in the relationship , what the future holds for you etc, that's the point where I am now. What makes this relationship exceptional is that we've been living together about a year since she started studying at the same University… not for anything else, but because we both think we can save money and share the rent. I thought it would be hell at first, but I have never had any problem with her , she pushes me to keep my grades up, there is mutual respect etc. So waking up beside her every morning, I'm constantly thinking, "could she be the one I'm going spend my life with?". I've been with several girls before I met her, back home and here. I've never had anything as special as this. If I do end up marrying her in the future, which is very likely I just pray God gives me the courage not be bothered by people like UgoBabe and their ignorant thoughts.

tinkinfela:

why does it matter? it's the 21st century!!

Moreover, if you read my earlier post, i pointed out that this wasn't my initial plan. It just happened and maybe because i see past the skin color. I don't think i will ever be happy marrying someone because of race, ethnical or cultural ties or any other reason.

Surely, you're not suggesting I break up with her and tell her "sorry, I can't be in this relationship because you're not from my race " or lead her on and opt out later.

tpia@:

i think only an i.diot would need the approval of faceless strangers on the web before they can make up their mind about a relationship?

where do they breed these people.

is nl going to help you live with your partners?

Tom28:

Most white girls are dirty and lousy
and they cant keep the home clean
and white women have the highest
divorce cases in the world so how
do they make better wives for an
african man?.

Like i said earlier, it all depends on the kinda Whitey lady u wanna marry.

Tom u dont underscore the whiteys easily forgetting that ur so cherished Nigerian ladies has got tons of flaws, i can tell u a Real man can handle a lousy n dirty White Lady but then how easy would he handle a Cheating, Money/fashion craving, naive Black Wife?

Bro i grew up to be with Whiteys, i tell u few African Ladies {maybe few} can be more devoted n committed in a marriage than them - [Dunno what my wife would say if she sees this am typing o ]