Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? - Romance (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by highland(m): 11:24am On Oct 03, 2011 |
Follow your mind will be the best. |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by EloisLued: 11:34am On Oct 03, 2011 |
Its completely ok if you both have no problem, but you are still 22 , whats the rush? |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Tarzan2009: 11:38am On Oct 03, 2011 |
It is a common knowledge that WHITE women are the most loyal and most respectful to their spouses of all races. I am not saying all, but the overwhelming majority of them are loyal to their husbands. Speaking from experience, dated a few white and black women in college, I can tell you that they are very CALM and don't run their mouths to give you headache. Ended up marrying my petroleum engineering classmate, though she is mixed, but she's damn loyal and I respect her for that. She doesn't yell or arrive at conclusions easily, but takes her time and does it methodically. Most of my friends(Nigerians) about 7 of them are married to white women. Keep in mind that these guys are professionals, doctors, engineers and lawyers, didn't married them for some socioeconomic reasons, but for genuine search for PEACEFUL LIFE. Some of these guys have been married before to Nigerian women and one phrase I always get from them is , I HAVE NO REGRET. One told me that, I have never known peace in my life until I married this white woman. I tell women that, most men have conscience, and as men and by nature, we want to be respected and in return, we will love you unconditionally. Be respectful and loyal. When I say "loyal", I know some women on here will jump on me, I don't mean subservient to the man but know that he is the head of the family and if you need to have your opinion heard, do it respectfully as a woman and I tell you what, a true MAN, will LOVE you and respect you for that. Go for it Bro if you think you found in her what you looking for in a woman. Caveat, Never make the mistake to go back home or to the village to marry a woman you don't know, never met before, no chemistry, no attraction, for God in heaven, how do you think that will work in this modern age? It may have worked in the past for our forebears, but not in today's world, humans are more wiser. Most of the men who went back home to marry are today in mental homes or demoralized beyond resuscitation. This is my two cents, 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by hbrednic: 11:39am On Oct 03, 2011 |
if you truly love her,then go for it |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Princek12(m): 11:44am On Oct 03, 2011 |
At least you won't have to worry about buying her Blackiberri Curuvu or Blackiberri Boludu and recharge cards to make her happy; she will probably recognize your potential and love you regardless of your financial condition, and will less likely leave you for an Alhaji, a Chief, or an Otunba who buys her with money. As an expert in these type of cases, let me give you your prognosis: First make sure this is not puppy love ooooooooooo! I diagnose you with the either of the following problems: puppy love; new-found-freedom love; first-time-chopping-oyinbo-punny love. Second make sure you are not infatuated by white punny; you may have been smitten by her because this is your first time chopping white punny and you are already saying you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Also make sure you chop other girls just to make sure this is what you want; you are only 22, and it is a travesty that you already claim to know that this oyinbo girl is the one. Are you serious? You need to face your education and phuck as many punny as possible: oyinbo, jamo, black, Naija, Libe, Germani, and all the like. Wear your condom, sha oooooo! If you don't, you will be back here on NL starting a thread about catching something you can't get rid off from, say, a Libe or an Oyinbo girl. Once you start working and making some money, you will have an idea of the type of girl you like. Be wary of the advice posted on this forum from many NL females who have no idea what it's like to be a man, esp a young man who is living overseas. They will advise you based on their emotional reaction and long throat. He who has ears, the elders say, let him hear. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by ideylaff: 12:03pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
Be wary of advice from many NL females who have no idea what it's like to be a man, esp a young man who is living overseas. They will advise you based on their emotional reaction and long throat. @ Princek12 u are so funny , LOL |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by martinosi: 12:04pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
tinkinfela: Dude Finish your studies 1st before you jump into all these relationship issues. Dont get carried away with the girl-friend/boy-friend bull_sh*** that goes on in Europe among teens. Dont screw up your life because of some chick!!! Trust me , graduate, Get a Job, start working and then look at that girl and ask yourself the question do i want to marry her. A CLEAR HEAD (HEART & MIND) MAKES YOU SEE THINGS FOR WHAT THEY REALLY ARE, 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by N101: 12:37pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
tinkinfela - kudos to you for your maturity in approaching this subject. It would still be tricky if she was from a different country but a different colour (talking from experience). However it's one thing for her to agree to come with you, another when she physically has to be in Nigeria 24-7. What I would suggest if you're planning to come back home is to weigh up your options carefully. Where will you live? I'm not an advocate for living in enclaves like Lekki or VI, you could pretty much do the same elsewhere so long as you have peace. Also, make sure you have secured a job, a place to live and whatever mod cons you think you will need before she comes. The transition should be as smooth as possible, because she will have to deal with cultural shock and adapting which isn't easy. Also if you get the chance - and I don't know if you have before - bring her to Nigeria to meet your family, friends etc and to get a feel of the place. Also do this once you have settled in so she knows what she needs to do and what she's letting herself in for. Also don't let family butt into your business too often nor have people regularly coming in and out of your house unless that is how you choose to live. Your house, your rules. I wish you all the best. |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by merge(f): 12:46pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
Tarzan2009:What the need for the comparion? Generally,the same way black man are the poorest man on earth and have hard time providing a suitable environment for their wife and children |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Whitehorse: 12:47pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
@Poster, Please go finish your studies, get a job and be financially independent before you start this settling down thing. Don't compare yourself to all the whitey whitey people here that can get support from the government (at least here in the UK) when they have kids, its not the best way to go, take it from me. Money is VERY important in marriage. Also, one's perspective changes with age, i think its best to give it a few more years and see what you think by then. If you ask me, i'd say give it 3 more years, and make a decision when you get to 25years. Please, please dont rush into anything o, in this life, there is no hurry at all, especially into marriage Just my 2 kobo 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by victorazy(m): 12:55pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
not our culture tufiakwa, arlu |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Nobody: 12:56pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
OP nowardays its a must for we naija guys to date outside our race.naija women dey chase us out with dem plenty wahala  .1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Freiburger(m): 12:59pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
victorazy:   |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Nobody: 1:03pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
@Op, Moving away frm ya Story, lemme Use myself as a Case Study. I did grew up in Madrid, got socialised by evry available agent that came across me and took myself in as a Spaniard though Dad was a Nigerian. Though i married a Nigerian gurl, i never at any time considered it pivotal or an act that portrays that i've gat my mind at home, i only took the decision cos my Mexican fiancee had to cheat on me which gave me a bad impression bout the whiteys then! So contrary to ur assumption that u're feeling like a Judas by Marrying a White Instead of a Black Lady doesn't mean anything, it all depends on the Character, Ambition and set-out principles of the White Lady u wanna marry!  I can vouch that 75% of White ladies would make berra Wives than Nigerian gurls <some>!  1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Freiburger(m): 1:10pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
I can vouch that 75% of White ladies would make berra Wives than Nigerian gurls <some>! [/color][quote][/quote] can explain what you meant please? |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Nobody: 1:21pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
El Guapo:God bless u for saying this  |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Nobody: 1:28pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
El Guapo:Most white girls are dirty and lousy and they cant keep the home clean and white women have the highest divorce cases in the world so how do they make better wives for an african man?. |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Ikroberts: 1:44pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
It depends on who you are getting married to, So I think that something is wrong with that. |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by realtunchi: 1:55pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
you can never be too sure of what the future holds for you if you marry this lady.but there are some things that u might consider before u marry her,when it comes to marriage LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH,in my opinion love fades after the first ten years , and what holds a marriage is understanding,perseverance,children and so many other factors.so don't just thinks about "the now",think about the future.equally where you plan to reside plays a dominant role in the success of the marriage,cus at the beginning most of them say they will follow you anywhere but when they stay in nija for a while dey get fed up.equally Ur financial status is very important as marriage no be beans,and to make a lady stay happy in Nigeria means you should be able to provide all the comforts that she is use to be it basic ones like power etc.where she is from is important too as each regions have their specific traits,u may call that stereotyping but every body cant be lying and in a 100 lies there is always some form of the truth.from my own opinion white girls sometimes are unpredictable, and can respond to ur emotions in very crazy ways and later blame it on u. a sizeable number have different attitudes towards sex, so with d right "ginger" and the perfect storm in place hey are more likely to cheat .that is why boys gat "rover" when d time is right so sometimes considering time you have dated a girl isn't factor in marrying her because marriage is a lifetime.fact is know what u want to do and if u r not sure be plain with her nd don't waist her time more. let d decision of whether she stays or leave be hers.heart break really never breaks ur heart physically so u can always move unto d next till u finish "rovering" till when r ready.what hold African marriages is not only love but culture as well and the never say never attitudes of most of our mothers because believe me if not for the attitudes and believes of our mothers Nigerian divorce rates too will be very high because the attitude and believes of Nigerian men sometimes is very "interesting". above all you know the lady better than anyone else so d decision is urs ,but from experience i will want u to be very sure of what you are doing because in marriage LOVE ISN'T EVERYTHING.  |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Eiregirl(f): 2:12pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
tom28:  |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by andyanders: 2:12pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
I have taken my time to study cases like yours and stand to say that this issue of marriage has effect on persons involved. You can marry each other under these reasons; if your parents, both stay abroad and understand the culture that is obtainable there. If your parents stay back home and have not travelled or have not mixed up with the outside world, it is going to be a problem. Reasons being that in our culture, we have relations and we depend on each other to build up our lives. Parents depend on their children to assist them when they are old. Back home people expect you to build a house and also to remember where you are coming from. From either of the marriages, it has its own advantage and disadvantage. If you marry say, a white woman from American, just have it mind that you should not bring up your family live to your home. You do not say, you plan to train your sibblings or to assist your paprents financilay as this will bring legal actions against you. You both can only plan on you both income and not to carry your own family along. As Africans we tend to forget these issues when the love we come across over there take over our life style. In the US, a friend of mine’s wife, called the cops on her husband, a Nigerian because he sent money back home for the parents and the lady felt bad and was confrontational and my friend reacted negatively. If you make savings, she wants to go for vacation and blow the money, not to remember the ones he left behind. Our parents suffered to train us and we owe them a lot. Over there, their government help and assist them build up their lives. It’s not our culture. If you marry from your culture here, the lady will help you build up your live and try to help you invest your money by telling you, look, Mr. John, Mr. Mike is doing well. She wants you to build a home and also establish. She will be praying for you. The white woman wants, love, love, love, kiss and all sorts of things like that. That’s their culture, not ours. A white woman is all after herself and her children and once they are 18yrs, they start building their own lives. Once they are old, they will be dumped in old people’s homes. That is not our culture. Our ladies are more accommodating and patient. Forget about how some of our ladies behave. They are 90% better than their foreign counterpart. I know that some of our ladies are bad, but they cannot be compared to the attitude of the so called white women who tend to think after themselves. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Whitehorse: 2:23pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
@Andyanders, Chei, this your analysis strong o, but truth be told i think you are very correct about MOST white women, its all about me, myself, maybe the kids! The do not understand the extended family system we practise, which, to be fair to them, does not really exist anymore in the western world. Thats why you see the children also abandon the parents to live out their lives in old peoples home. I do not pray to grow old abroad, lai lai! So, young man, think long term, cos by the time all the hormones wear out, and reality sets in, it wont be all kiss,sex or novelty that will keep you guys together, but shared value system and committment to one another. Without those two, i can guarantee you that the marriage wont last. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Orikinla(m): 2:26pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
My first love was a white lady. And she would have been my wife if I loved her enough. My uncle married a German woman and my cousin married a Filipino woman. And they are happy couples with lovely children. There is nothing wrong in being married to a white woman or even an alien from another planet as long as you can both live and love in peace. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Slogan13(m): 2:43pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
I am married to a white woman and we've known each other for 10 years and married for 6 years.In fact my life changed immediately she came into my life and things continue to get better everyday. Happiness,love,money etc. The most important thing is to find a woman that loves you till the end of time;don't look at color,race or religion. This things can deprive you of the true love you deserve. My life is beautiful and I thank God for it. The Lord has also blessed us with two healthy Obamas. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by MrsChima1(f): 2:48pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
SMH@JUSTIFICATIONS on this thread.  |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Repubocrat(m): 2:56pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
All I have to say to OP is that you owe no allegiance to your race. Live your life for you, and the people that care about you, and this applies to both platonic and romantic relationships. You can never betray your race, because you should have no racial obligations to begin with. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by kemmeye: 3:04pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
no it does not matter as long as the useless kidnappers in nigeria dont target her thats if u plan on bringing her to nigeria anyway. |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by tEsLim(m): 3:06pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
Wetin concern agbero with overload. You own yourself na. And where did you get that local village boy mentality of betraying your race? There is nothing like that. You betray your race when you commit genocide against your race or sell them out. BUt this case you are marrying unless all men a dead in your village and you are expected to go their and make seeds so your people wont extinct. Marry the fine white girl and you will be happy and never worry about your in-laws doing JUJU against you, or your children needing visa to travel to even Kenya (as they wont have useless nigerian passport), better cheap education for your children, and them go even fine i so much like hybride/ half-caste kids 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by newuser: 3:33pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
if you love her and she loves you then you can marry her. however, i believe that nigerian ladies are way better than the caucasoid(white) the black race view to family issues is at tangetn to the way the white(europeans) view it much less the americans. if the core values and belief you both hold are in sync then no ptroblem but if in reality its not then I would say love is just not enough. that said finish schooling before plunging into marriage |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by UgoBabe(f): 4:02pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
Mrs, Chima: ABIIII am listening to the foolishness written here: its ok, i married one, my uncle married one, i have two obamas- clap for yourselves. After being the product of colonialsim- i don't understand how black men can want to voluntarily become intimate with their former colonizers, poster- don't go there!!!! those who marry foreigners are LOSERS!!! I SAID IT, marry your own- that is the best. With the exception of our men who do it for papers- I have LOW respect for black men who marry outside. I think they suffer from inferiority complex and use their white/foreign "wives" to compensate for the hatred they have for themselves, IT IS A BETRAYAL to marry outside, if you didnt know it- am telling you, |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by Sinju: 4:06pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
My family members have married from all over the world in the last 60 years even when Nigerians where not marrying from other tribes. These marriages lasted and are still going strong. My grandfather (Yourba) married a woman from Sierra Leone the other grandfather(Isoko) married Onitsha woman. Our parents generation brought spouses from across the Niger River (West and North) and all over Africa. Our generation has expanded the family to include Americans and Philippinos. Me, I followed the trend and married a Northerner 20 years ago. We are all God's children. You can get a good (or bad) spouse from anywhere in the world. As long as both of you are willing to understand each other and can communicate effectively, nothing spoil. |
| Re: Is It Okay To Marry Someone From A Different Race? by r231(m): 4:18pm On Oct 03, 2011 |
If she makes you happy |
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