Collins4u1:
she can become a single mother and get married later. hopefully the future husband won't be traumatized for training someone's else child.

Funny how women can't treat someone's else child as theirs.

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

forerunner022:
Truth is, if your sister continues with that guy on that faulty foundation that is cemented with the lies and deceit, she should expect to see more of such shockers from the guy, because it is obvious the guy is dishonest and cannot be trusted. And yet, if she walks away as a single mom , it will have telling consequences for her in the future except the Lord sees her through. In all, and whatever the option, it is like chosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. The choice is left to her.

olamydey:
No need to rush anything at this moment. She should cancel the traditional wedding immediately till she gets a clear direction. He cannot be trusted. Its so unfortunate that she was dragged into this in her ignorance. Turn to God for help and wisdom because It's going to be a long ride.

Mcslize:


Who hasn't sin, hands in the air. The man did nothing wrong. He was only waiting for the right time to tell her. He would have still told her with time. He was concerned about loosing her. Besides, he is a responsible good man from the write up. So what's the fuss here?

I repeat again, who hasn't sin, hands in the air. I see no issue here at all.

forerunner022:
Truth is, if your sister continues with that guy on that faulty foundation that is cemented with the lies and deceit, she should expect to see more of such shockers from the guy, because it is obvious the guy is dishonest and cannot be trusted. And yet, if she walks away as a single mom , it will have telling consequences for her in the future except the Lord sees her through. In all, and whatever the option, it is like chosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. The choice is left to her.

yankison:


Una go just de dish advice out anyhow .she shud leave the man she just want to get married to and already have a boy for ..so who is going to cater for the boy kid. Shit talk

yankison:


A responsible man that has been fending for her ,support and care for her is the one u want her to leave for now and be going to mfm for clear direction from God ..girls like you are not to be told anything about family matters ..You no get sense ..na chicken brain you get ... If she is not a bad person accommodating the husband's children shud be a lovely thing for her ...

onadana:


Did she turn to God for help and wisdom when she knowingly spread open her legs?

olamydey:
No need to rush anything at this moment. She should cancel the traditional wedding immediately till she gets a clear direction. He cannot be trusted. Its so unfortunate that she was dragged into this in her ignorance. Turn to God for help and wisdom because It's going to be a long ride.

Flows001:

I didn't mean training the children will be traumatising for her, of course he will be responsible for their upkeep.
I meant that the shock of having to be forced to accept what she didn't plan to live with will actually be traumatising for her.
Of course I will personally advice to treat them nicely, because the man himself has been really nice and responsible to her all along.

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

Zonefree:

How is accomodating your husband's kids traumatising?

Men do marry single mom with kids, accommodate and train them without using the word "traumatising".


If your beloved sister should take the first option which is, "Leave him and become a single mother at her flower age"...when she finds love again and wants to marry, don't you think it would be traumatising for the potential husband to accommodate her child?

Make una try dey use una sense for this country!

Flows001:

No she didn't see any sign before then, she was already an entrepreneur who was staying on her own, fending for herself and school, she even helped me with finances in my final year in the University, so she wasn't lured because of money, he merely toasted her like every other guy and he looks quite young.
She even took extra step to go stay at his house for two weeks in Abuja, just to know more about him, and he introduced her to basically all his colleagues and friends, none of them showed any negativity.

She was just an innocent victim which at this point is quite unfortunate.

ppogba:


There are a million reasons to panic because it is as if next to nothing is known about the guy man.
Who is the other woman?
Is he legally married to her?
What caused the separation?
Has the other woman finally moved on?
What are the plans for the children of the other woman?
Well sorry for late response, so far your sister has dectect such a thing what she supposed to do is to call her husband and interrogate him from there she will know what to do to me the man children or former wife should not be issued

I can go on and on.

seanwilliam:

Lmao, stop defending your sister , afterall if you know what to do, you would not have brought it to nairaland in the first place.
You’re not your sister! You can only know what she wants you to know. Na she Dey relationship with him , technically , you can’t conclude that she didn’t see the sign.
And you said that the guy in question is supportive and caring, definitely she fell for ‘free food’.
As much as you might not want to agree cos it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but then I tell you,
If you sister leaves that relationship and becomes single mother, verily I say unto you, she will regret it.
98% chances are that she will regret it, chances of her marrying a single guy is very slim.

Mind you , single mothers are finding it hard these days, most of them are seen as sex objects. Dem go knack her beyond repair.


I know how she feels , cos it’s not what she wanted, but this life, you can’t have it all. You’ll have to compromise as some point.


Cheers📍

President2001:

There's nothing to panic for the first marriage did not hold is now depends how your sater handle the issue though the trust she has in her husband has been betrayed notwithstanding she can still put herself together

forerunner022:
Truth is, if your sister continues with that guy on that faulty foundation that is cemented with the lies and deceit, she should expect to see more of such shockers from the guy, because it is obvious the guy is dishonest and cannot be trusted. And yet, if she walks away as a single mom , it will have telling consequences for her in the future except the Lord sees her through. In all, and whatever the option, it is like chosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. The choice is left to her.

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

jmoore:
Stop having premarital sex, una no dey hear.

Zonefree:

How is accomodating your husband's kids traumatising?

Men do marry single mom with kids, accommodate and train them without using the word "traumatising".


If your beloved sister should take the first option which is, "Leave him and become a single mother at her flower age"...when she finds love again and wants to marry, don't you think it would be traumatising for the potential husband to accommodate her child?

Make una try dey use una sense for this country!

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

Mcslize:


Who hasn't sin, hands in the air. The man did nothing wrong. He was only waiting for the right time to tell her. He would have still told her with time. He was concerned about loosing her. Besides, he is a responsible good man from the write up. So what's the fuss here?

I repeat again, who hasn't sin, hands in the air. I see no issue here at all.