lefulefu:

queensmith in the naija version wen a naija woman says she is looking for a submissive man she means
1:a man that she can can ridicule in public in public even when he is present
2: she can slap him in public and she can refer to him as a mumu or a fool
3:he should take permission from her b4 entertaining his friends in the house
4;he cleans the home and wash the kitchen while she is in the sitting room watching tv and smoking
5:she can bring her boyfriend and Be Intimate with the boyfriend in her married home while the hubby says nothing
queensmith that is the version of a submissive man in naija and dats why i dey refer to them as submissive mumu men

no- unfortunately the women here voting no are refering to submissive in the sense of how women are expected to submit to men. and it also goes to show the type of people they are (most dont know what they want)
what baffles me is why they will go on to say they dont want to be controlled? erm if u dont want a man that will listen to you then how wont u be controlled? yiu cant have it all!

If the OP meant a stupid man she will have said so.

I also believe theres a fair amount of psycology involved. Its a control thing, and alot of men actually prefer women that take control, its refreshing from the barking hopping bride to be in coming to america!

I cant imagine being the type of person that needs someone else to make decisions. esp not a man!

@Inky
You still did not answer the question: does your boss deserve more consideration than your spouse?

So now there is Ibo blood and Kurdish blood? I wonder what Naturalisation and Immigration services are for now. Maybe you need to see the meaning of ethnicity. Gosh and here I thought you were cosmopolitan in your outlook, smh.

@Inky
So answer this other one: Are you implying that men should treat women the same way they treat other men?

Take a look at the meaning of ethnicity:

An ethnic group (or ethnicity) is a group of people
whose members identify with each other, through a
common heritage, often consisting of a common
language, a common culture (often including a
shared religion) and/or an ideology that stresses
common ancestry or endogamy.[1][2][3] Another
definition is ", a highly biologically self-
perpetuating group sharing an interest in a
homeland connected with a specific geographical
area, a common language and traditions, including
food preferences, and a common religious faith".[4]
The concept of ethnicity differs from the closely
related term race in that "race" refers to grouping
based mostly upon biological criteria, while
"ethnicity" also encompasses additional cultural
factors.

Once I conform to all the precepts of an an ethnic group I can choose to be recognised as one of them. It is not fundamental to human existence because any arrangement of cultural groups can exist and perpetuate but any human arrangement that excludes either sex can not self perpetuate.

@Inky
I understand you. Here's what I want you to understand submission of woman to man does not imply domination by man. Submission means she willing gives him pride of place as head of the family. A man as head should not submit, its like saying the neck should be attached at the top of the head - wrong place, loss of function for both of them.

@Inky
Another question do you accept that a man is the head of his family?

To all male readers,

Believe it or not there are submissive men in this world!  In India, a woman can marry multiple husbands and most time the woman is the one paying dowry to the husband's family to marry the man.  I have a friend who is Indian by birth and she shared to me that some households both spouses submit to each other and shares "head" role.  

Remember, Indian women seek out the men and pay the dowry and YET their husbands are the "head" and they are the "neck".  Guess what, some of these people are still MARRIED TODAY.  

Each MARRIAGE, ARRANGEMENT, AND RELATIONSHIP are individually different.  You can survey five couples and each of them will have different "lifestyles".  

Now since some chatters like to bring the Bible into the equation, the Bible speaks against intimate immorality such as adultery and fornication.  Guess what, some "religious" married couples are practicing open sex marriage, which means they can sleep with anyone as long as the spouse give permission.  Guess who enjoying it the most?   Ding! Ding!  Men.  Now these women are "submissive to no fault" and engaging into acts that are dangerous to themselves because their husbands want open sex marriage.   Some of these women protested against the thought but what can she do if her husband is determined to "fling" outside the marriage?   She can either join onboard or get left behind.  

The reason, I brought the concept into the equation is because people have this image in their head that ALL MARRIAGES ARE COOKIE CUTTER and that the best marriage is LED BY A MAN.  Why is it when some couples immigrate to America, Canada, or UK that they have marital issues within the first 90 days?  I am not saying all, but damn.  

Here a bone, successful marriages are contingent to those in personal and individualistic [/b]relationships.  Operative words: [b]PERSONAL AND INDIVIDUALISTIC.

I often hear other men compare their relationships with how other men are in their relationships. That's a sign of insecurity and confusion.  If a man is a leader in his relationship, why is he comparing his "leadership" with other men?  

That's why many men are stressed out, clocked out from society, and looking for that 20% because they do not share representation role with their women.  The neck supports the head and sometimes has solutions that the head may not otherwise think of.  It is good to be in a partner relationship than a dictatorship relationship.  

Listening to your partner and COMMUNICATING with your partner (male and female) isn't a sign of weakness, it is a sign of RESPECT, UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSION, and LOVE.  

Long read, I know!  

i couldn't agree more with inked-nerd

SMFH

@op Es usted?  
































Feliz año nuevo  

@Inky
Oh now I gerrit. No wahala, I supposed you accepted that position since you don't no need for much discussion.

Sayonara.

@Inky
I am always up for health discussion.

My points are predicated on a woman accepting the leader of her man, if you don't accept that it'll sound gibberish.

Lord_Reed:

@Inky
I am always up for health discussion.

My points are predicated on a woman accepting the leader of her man, if you don't accept that it'll sound gibberish.

Can you enlighten me on the ever so daunting decisions/actions this so-called male household leaders make that can't be made by a woman?

@Repubocrat & Inky
If you don't accept that a man is the head of his home is there any point in elaborating?

MsDarkSkin: it depends.

It depends Finance, maturity? Today's men are giving in to too much crap, cuz it kinda sweetens the brain (I have been there)... In real world Man is the Leader and, that's how it should be.

lefulefu: submissive men na gods gift to naija women because submissive dem too mumu.Take this case for example
Cash madam:azubike! azubike!!
submissive mumu husband: honey why u yelling my name i am bathing the kid for pete's sake
Cash madam: oya come go market for me.i need to watch this home video for african magic so i no need to miss am
submissive mumu husband:but honey i just said i am bathing the kid and i need to work on the car after that,why dont u go.there is the jeep for u to use
cash madam: wait a second oooo!, na me build this house,na me dey pay nepa bill.since wen dey lay u off fro ur bank job u never get any job and u dey stand there like egyptian mumu dey yarn grammer!
submissive mumu husband: honey cool down on ppl outside might hear u yelling
cash madam: i no go cool down!.if u no go market for me this evening i go lock u comot from this house sam! sam!!
submissive mumu husband:ok darling i will go to the market as soon as i bath this kid
cash madam:oya wear ur slippers this minute and take dat money from that desk or else i go slap that ur block head u dis ewu!
 submissve hubby 4 u

is this how a submissive wife should be treated by her husband?

vitality22:

You know that sh.t was not that funny.

warrior101:

It depends Finance, maturity? Today's men are giving in to too much crap, cuz it kinda sweetens the brain (I have been there)... In real world Man is the Leader and, that's how it should be.

No, my chauvinistic brother. See, what I mean is he knows when it is time to "argue" and when to let stuff go.
I don't mean take "bull". I don't mean to shell out money. I mean...don't be combative.

Repubocrat:

Can you enlighten me on the ever so daunting decisions/actions this so-called male household leaders make that can't be made by a woman?

Thank you.

warrior101:

It depends Finance, maturity? Today's men are giving in to too much crap, cuz it kinda sweetens the brain (I have been there)... In real world Man is the Leader and, that's how it should be.

A man is a leader in what? As you can see clearly men has been running things for a long time and see how great it urned out!

I think men need to learn that they don't know everything and shouldn't have an issue with asking their wives/women to help brainstorm for a better outcome.

Men complains about doing everything and want the woman to step in...UHMMMM I thought the man was the leader?

Mrs.Chima:


A man is a leader in what? As you can see clearly men has been running things for a long time and see how great it urned out!

I think men need to learn that they don't know everything and shouldn't have an issue with asking their wives/women to help brainstorm for a better outcome.

Men complains about doing everything and want the woman to step in...UHMMMM I thought the man was the leader?

Leader does not mean doing everything or being infallible. It simply means providing guidance and guard-ance.

Lord_Reed:

Leader does not mean doing everything or being infallible. It simply means providing guidance and guard-ance.

I knew you were coming. Hey suga!


If that above is the concrete definition of leader....then it is not gender specific do you agree?

Hey there lovely! Watsup?

And you'll agree that an organisation may have several leaders but one must head.

Lord_Reed: Hey there lovely! Watsup?

And you'll agree that an organisation may have several leaders but one must head.

I am good and tending to the Chimas. Doing what I do best.

Even if the organization has multiple leaders...without the neck or assistants...the head ain't shit.


Famous quote....:"Behind every successful man is a woman holding him up".

when i worked in sales talking on the phone trying to convince people to buy stuff, every single time i ever talked to a man, he would always say "i have to ask my wife first, i can' sign up/buy this without her permission." So one day, i outright asked one man "I thought u were the man of the house, you don't need your wife's permission." and he replied "You don't know my wife!"

So i think that men act like they wear the pants in a relationship when actually i think its the other way around. men don't mind taking the passenger seat as long as nobody knows!

also, i myself dont want a submissive man, i just want a sweet man, who is gentle, loving, attentive, and caring, and doesn't have to prove every five seconds that he's this alpha male, continuously beating on his chest and roaring to prove that he is in charge.

@Mrs.C
Go supermom go! ℓ☺ℓ

The active word is BEHIND.

@Tisabone
Being the head doesn't mean doing things your way all the time. I respect men (and women) who can pause and say let me consult my spouse then get back to you. That shows repect for your union.