someone else husband huh, sheer nonsense. she should not let the wife hear. just keep her quiet to enjoy her life as a single mom. ignorant at the highest order in this age sleeping with a married man okay, she should play iyale at iyawo  

i will deal with any lady that comes near mine, no joke at all at all.

Nigerian men can be total bastards. I know of one who acted like he lived with a male friend who was living alone and had a key to the place, the lady would come there every weekend(thinking it  was his home as that was what he told her) and the occupant went with his lie knowing fully well that he is married. The lady will spend time will all of them, cook, clean. Unfortunately, the owner of the flat moved to go and meet his wife who was in another country and the new tenant (my family)decided to change the locks so that this fiend can stop using their home as a meet up joint when he is married. The girl was so devastated and could not believe that her "boyfriend" does not live in the flat but was just a visitor.

The unfortunate situation is that their single friends allow them to use their home as a stake out place and that is where it becomes difficult. The policy for every single woman is to wait until you get married before having babies cos the risk you take when you dont is that he could decide that he does not want to be with you long-term forget the fact that he might be committed. You really should know a guy's family wherever possible if the relationship is getting serious.

If your friend can get support for her child from the AO then she should and also let his wife know what he is up to so that she can stop living in the dark about the kind of man she is married to. The truth about this kind of men only come out to the wife when they die and by then the wife does not even get the pleasure of being able to deal with the Biatch in her own way.

How do people have babies these days?Meet,start shaaging without any form of protection,have a baby then what

No care or concern for the partners background?what if they are shaaging a ghost ? o ma se oh.

Btw,OP,did your friend and the married man agree on having a baby together or she found herself pregnant and decided to keep it in a bid to get the man for keeps?

Anyhoo,done is done.She better start loving the child or give him/her up for adoption.abi she's considering telling the man's wife ? The most she can get is making the wife leave the man(highly unlikely tho) but it won't make the man marry her.

It's only in NLD i hear single mom's referred to as "tokumbo".In the real world,bold,beautiful and focused single moms are giving their counterparts a run,getting the good guys for keeps.

just 18months u had a baby. don't forget the good time cos for now u are on your own

Wasn't there a thread previously that asked why African girls like asking questions like "are you married",do you have this or that,This is one of the main reasons. Sometimes it pays to be cautious

If you don't meet your boyfriend through mutual friends,acquaintances or family then you have to ask this questions when you begin dating and feel you are serious with the man,the answers aren't even enough you still need to do your research well well.

Some men out there will continue to deceive you and stick to their lies no matter what.
18 months is a long time to be lied to Did your friend ever meet any of his friends wives,kids or even his own family?

She has laid the bed, let her lie on it

She has laid the bed, let her lie on it

mbulela:

the man too is an i diot.

100+

@poster.I am not surprised that it happened to her.she is a nigerian and most of our girls are not contended with what they have.she succumb to things of life.she was enticed by what she was getting and you know men can do anything for a girl to have their way.The intention of the man in question was to use her and dump her but unfortunately,the unexpected happened. I sincerely believe that this lady had someone before who loved her but she could have left him because she wanted to reap from where she has not sown. Nemesis

May we not fall into the hands of a great pretender. I had a married man ask me out for 4 years pretending to be a single dad. He would attend all my family functions and I went over to his house many times and saw not even a sign of a wife . His cousins and family members would plead with me to date their brother and one of his female cousins would always tell me how much their uncle loved me. But I thank God something held me back all those years and I refused to date him and also was not intimate with him. He proposed marriage and even met my family but when I was about to give in to the pressure from family and friends i found out through divine intervention that he was married with 4kids . To say I was shocked would be an understatement when I confronted the cousin she was just staring and mumbling and till date the man has vanished. Though this story sounds unbelievable I swear that I did not make it up. Its possible the girl met his friends and family members and became comfortable . May God help us all

I forgot to add that he was able to live a lie because his family was in the us

am sure she must be a yoruba girl. very dull people .


she genevieve dated cocoa master and nothing happened

@silibaba.sorry to say that yoruba girls are not dull but one can say that the are not contended.

She need to raise her child properly. The man is a disgrace, but nothing to be done unfortunately.

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@OP. Ur friend is obviously lying to u. She must hv turned blind eyes to everything, in exchange for what she was getting. Of course u don‘t expect her to tell u she knew the man was married,but I bet u she did. She‘s just shedding crocodile tears. Imagine that she‘s even saying she can‘t love her own baby. She a bloody gold digger! I wish her more woes.

Ahhhh, pity, blah blah blah!
She went out with him for 18months and already have a baby? What was she thinking, even if he wasn't married? The girl should better suck it up and learn that the world isnt easy on single moms; and she better take care of the boy well cause he didnt ask to be born. When will women learn? Or she wants to move in with the man and his wife? As for the man, i reserve my comment

@op
Your friend is a very silly lady/girl/woman. So you meet a guy and starts something serious without doing all verifications to find out if he is single or married. This is as a result of dating a wealthy guy, I am sure in her mind she was seeing a big boy who has all that life could offer, she was also probably carried away with spending his money and lougin with him that she must have skipped all the basics, signs and signals. I mean didn't she visit his home often or was eyed by a nosy neighbor who was irritated by his cheating ways and took it out on her or even insulted her.

Ok! Fine, she dated a married man, big deal! Even if she thought he was single, why did she put in for a guy she is not married to.

No pills, contraceptives, insertion of ring in the vag-ina, condom and constant check up to ensure she doesn't get pregnant or if early detected she quickly tells him and if no marriage plans or she discovers he is married/circumstances beyond their control, then, getting rid of the unborn with a 2 weeks life span is better than being a single mother to a married man. Yes abortion is a grieve sin but I can tell you first hand that her next journey would change her life forever.

Probably she was one of those dumb girls that thought a baby could trap a man into marriage. Don't ladies ask questions again about where their relationship is headed and even go a step further to meet their guy's family & friends before allowing the spe-rm germinate in them. If she had disturbed him with commitment query, questions and conversations, he would have dumped her or told her the truth. I don't blame her jare, some di-cks gets ladies reasoning from where its entering.

Ladies get so careless a lot. I mean, if you going to sha-g, then do it responsibly. Its your body and your future at stake. So many birth control options to consider, I think lime is also a factor to consider as some babes say it works. What ever it is just don't bring in babies that won't be accepted/cared for by both parents. Sex is sweet so even if you are lost in passion, get your senses back afterwards, its never late.

[b]SOLUTION - [/b]1) She has to accept her fate, give birth to the baby, love & care for the baby. She must not take out her frustration on the baby by cursing its existence or telling it, nasty tales about its father like most single mothers do.

2) If she is asked of the baby's dad & hubby, she should say, "he is on a job placement in America". She can get a ring, bear the guy's name, a lot of women do it, they are married to invisible men, all you hear is Mrs Ajala or Mrs Yahaya but you will never see the Mr Ajala or Yahaya(U wont see them cos they always live in US) 

3) Anytime he comes visiting, she would just signal to her neighbors that, her hubby is around. The neighbors wave at him from afar & he waves back at them (to baby's daddy, they think the father has come but to the neighbor the hubby is back from US only the mama knows whats up). Once the neighbors spread it that they have met her hubby, she is good to go. (Please I joke a lot, only No 1 is valid)

I am not sure if the stigma of being a single mother is the same in London as it is in Canada. Where most single mom's are looked down upon, for being stupid and not planning themselves well thats why they ended up having a baby and no father in sight. It;s also very tough to raise black males in western society, where racism is still a part of the culture. It would be better if the man stood by her side and helped her raise this child he needs to tell his wife and let his other children know they have a brother out there. I would also definetly take his ARSE to court.

To all that have posted including ebonyvibe

Please lets not be deceived, the expectant single mom knows exactly what she's up to, am very much sure of that. She only wanted a baby from the guy and not even the material stuffs many of us think she's after.

There's one here in London, a high profile lady doctor making good money but don't have the characteristics of building a home with a man. To cut long story short she got pregnant for a married man of two kids. Though she vowed she will never ask a penny from the guy that she will take care of her lovely son in peace and joy; how sincere was the statement remains with her.


Note:
At least 90% of ladies who gets pregnant in UK or other westhern countries really wanted it from the oncept, let's not be deceived.

To add,

She even have a nice 2 bed house (mortgage) of her own, drives nice 2007 car and make good money. She's my friend, so i know her very well with her ego, she never beg her baby father for support.

na you be the man involved, abeg tell us true o, it is too early 2012

skyone:

To add,

She even have a nice 2 bed house (mortgage) of her own, drives nice 2007 car and make good money. She's my friend, so i know her very well with her ego, she never beg her baby father for support.

@ SKYONE
Re: Having A Baby For A Married Man
« #115 on: Today at 08:15:13 PM »
To all that have posted including ebonyvibe

Please lets not be deceived, the expectant single mom knows exactly what she's up to, am very much sure of that. She only wanted a baby from the guy and not even the material stuffs many of us think she's after.

There's one here in London, a high profile lady doctor making good money but don't have the characteristics of building a home with a man. To cut long story short she got pregnant for a married man of two kids. Though she vowed she will never ask a penny from the guy that she will take care of her lovely son in peace and joy; how sincere was the statement remains with her.


Note:
At least 90% of ladies who gets pregnant in UK or other westhern countries really wanted it from the oncept, let's not be deceived.

GBAM YOU SAID IT ALL , SECONDED

skyone:

To all that have posted including ebonyvibe

Please lets not be deceived, the expectant single mom knows exactly what she's up to, am very much sure of that. She only wanted a baby from the guy and not even the material stuffs many of us think she's after.

There's one here in London, a high profile lady doctor making good money but don't have the characteristics of building a home with a man. To cut long story short she got pregnant for a married man of two kids. Though she vowed she will never ask a penny from the guy that she will take care of her lovely son in peace and joy; how sincere was the statement remains with her.


Note:
At least 90% of ladies who gets pregnant in UK or other westhern countries really wanted it from the oncept, let's not be deceived.

skyone:

To add,

She even have a nice 2 bed house (mortgage) of her own, drives nice 2007 car and make good money. She's my friend, so i know her very well with her ego, she never beg her baby father for support.

Who are you? What makes you think you and the op are referring to the same person? Stop assuming, the stories might defer even if it involves a married man. But if its a trend in the UK then you pretty much said it all then.

armyofone:

na you be the man involved, abeg tell us true o, it is too early 2012

e for beta if to say she gree for me o but na too much yanga lead her go meet married man

Cuddlemii:

Who are you? What makes you think you and the op are referring to the same person? Stop assuming, the stories might defer even if it involves a married man. But if its a trend in the UK then you pretty much said it all then.

na fight

Abi u dey follow married men? Honestly i don't get ur post.

skyone:

na fight

Abi u dey follow married men? Honestly i don't get your post.

God Forbid. I never chop youngmanhood belle full na marriedmanhood I go dey follow. Where the womanyard to accommodate am sef.

Who is dumber here -the guy or the lady?

Take the responsibility. For she called for it!

It's a pity that she didn't ever meet someone she knew who also knows the guy when they were out somewhere.
In London you mostly know somebody who knows somebody you know people just network a lot over there

Last year I attended a naming ceremony and one guy showed up with this young woman by his side,you should have seen how all the women kept querying this man about his wife
"Where is Mama Ngozi,I thought she was coming with you?"
Another woman was informing him that she had just finished talking to this man's wife a few minutes back and she was sorry that she was unwell.
The host of the house smiled at him and politely  said that he had not yet introduced the young lady with him
he laughed and said that this was his younger sister visiting from out of town everybody laughed together breaking the tension,
somebody jokingly said she would still confirm with mama Ngozi,

You can imagine if it was his lover,this woman would have known instantly that the man she was with was married.Your friend might be withholding some information from you,she must have seen the handwriting on the wall at some point in the 18 months

gabbytabby:

Nigerian men can be total bastards.

     

@topic i would introduce myself AND my baby to the dead beat's wife AND family

gabbytabby:

Nigerian men can be total bastards.

Indirect way of tellin us that YOUR dad, is a ba$tard, right?. . .

Well, we I DONT CARE if he is one.