debosky:

So he has not earned trust by footing 100% of the bill for setting up their home? Does he need to sell his left testicle to prove financial trust?

Konnektions146:
i dont wannna looose de respect i have for u

debosky:

I don't excuse his comment, but he said it likely because he knows the woman is the type who will say 'go and borrow'!



So he has not earned trust by footing 100% of the bill for setting up their home? Does he need to sell his left testicle to prove financial trust?



If that is the case, the woman should drop 50% of the house cost/renovation (which they will both use after marriage) so he has more money to put towards the wedding.

This greedy woman wants to have the unexpected accommodation costs paid for by the hubby AND the wedding costs all at once. Not everyone is as wealthy.

BiafranFirstSon: A man is helping Ur family by taking out a heavy load like u and u are here seeking fro stupid advise.i will give u one advice. Change or tomorrow u will me out here to cry that men are heartless.

jennykadry:
I do not believe in 50-50 in marriage and that has always applied even before marriage. A man must go extra miles to foot his wedding. This woman does not mind contributing but her question is why 80%? why should I contribute 80%? Am I the one marrying him? Did I propose to him? Out of a million he chose me, so please let him do his work

kkk17: I will not spend a dime on my wedding. If he doesn't have enough money we will cut out all the eating and drinking. Even if it means on that day not much to eat or drink talkless of decorations and what not. This is not to say I can't spend my money on my hubby. But definitely not to marry him. I can even buy him a car more expensive than the wedding cost. But I won't live the rest of my life knowing he got me on a platter.

jennykadry:

I do not believe in 50-50 in marriage and that has always applied even before marriage. A man must go extra miles to foot his wedding... Am I the one marrying him? Did I propose to him? Out of a million he chose me, so please let him do his work

dayokanu:

Extra mile like going to borrow? Or sell his plasma or go do money rituals?

80% because the man spent a huge chunk of his money renting a house. If the house expense didnt come, he wouldnt have asked her for a dime. Since the groom had an emergency that took a huge his money away he should go rob a bank to marry the Mgbeke.

I have given a solution let her rent the house and the man would foot the wedding 100% DEAL?

chinwe11: Nairalanders, i have some questions oh. I am getting married in August..............my fiance and i are both working, but the house where he is staying now is having some problems, and might fall soon, so the landlord told them all to evacuate so he can renovate. (The rent was expiring in September anyway) My fiance then decided to use part of the money for the wedding to rent a new house for us. The problem now is, after renting the house, he had to do renovations etc, and now the wedding for the money is almost finished to about 20% left. he is now saying shebi i also have money that i should make up the remaining 80%. Please nairalanders what do you think? Is a woman supposed to pay the bulk money for the wedding?



Afterall what plans did he have for rent after the wedding? I told him to borrow money he said no.

jennykadry:

I believe He will be looking up to her to feed him. A man that opens his mouth to say "shebi you have your own money" who says that? BTW my post had a question mark at the end?

Why should a woman spend more cos she earns more? Debo ki lo de? So because I earn more I should contribute more than half? I am having trouble contributing 10% and you are talking more than half? Until he puts the ring in that finger my money is my money. You earn trust, he has to earn my trust financially first before anything

When they are married, the money is jointly owned but since they are still getting there, her money is hers and his money should step up the game in the wedding preparation

yusuf_@:
Miss Chinwe11, if this man u're about to get married to is d same person u complained about here "www.nairaland.com/647107/asking-too-much-pls-help/1" , then i think u've got a much bigger problem, it's obvious his nonchalant attitude towards you is what is at play here!

I am only going to make a cautious comment because i can't b certain u're not only giving us ur own side of d story polished to make him look like the devil & u, d saint. how ever, if ur 2 threads are of d same man & u are being true to ur words, my simple advise is to go straight to him & ask him "if & why he really want u to b his wife?" "Make ur deductions from his response & manner of it". I believe u're matured enough to know ur nxt step!

jennykadry: A lot of men here do all sorts of odd jobs to take care of their family, if this man is looking up to a woman for finance to marry her then what happens if they become financially weak later, he is going to be looking up to his wife to feed him?

Men are carers here wiping the bums of these oldies, these are men that know their roles in the house.

chinwe11: Nairalanders, i have some questions oh. I am getting married in August..............my fiance and i are both working, but the house where he is staying now is having some problems, and might fall soon, so the landlord told them all to evacuate so he can renovate. (The rent was expiring in September anyway) My fiance then decided to use part of the money for the wedding to rent a new house for us. The problem now is, after renting the house, he had to do renovations etc, and now the wedding for the money is almost finished to about 20% left. he is now saying shebi i also have money that i should make up the remaining 80%. Please nairalanders what do you think? Is a woman supposed to pay the bulk money for the wedding?



Afterall what plans did he have for rent after the wedding? I told him to borrow money he said no.

slimyem: ....at least you know what he used his own part of the money for...
Its towards both your comfort after the wedding!
If you can afford it and he's worth it,then do and stop wondering about what's okay of not!don't be SELFISH!
Or betterstill postpone the wedding until he saves up enough money for the wedding and hope he hasnt changed his mind about marrying you by that time!

dayokanu:

And what has this got to do with the situation?

The money the guy spent on the house where did it come from? Did the OP say the groom wasnt working or he wasnt making money?

tasandra: Sorry, i dont like that shebi u get money talk sha and 1 once again agree wit chair cover

moremi2008: Wow! This thread has really opened my eyes into how Nigerian women think. No wonder we keep hearing these horrible stories about domestic violence and spousal abuse.

kkk17: But I won't live the rest of my life knowing he got me on a platter.

chaircover: I totally understand the reason why "hubby" doesn't have enough money to foot the wedding. Accommodation is very important, however I dont like the statement "shebi you have money"

People should learn to speak to their partners with respect and try and put themselves in the other persons shoes and feel what the other person feels before opening their mouths or taking any actions.

He could have said "Sweetheart, we have a problem. You know how much I love you and so much look forward to getting married to you in August, but this accommodation problem has exhausted all my funds. I know that this is not the norm and it is my responsibility to provide for this wedding, however is there any way that you can help me financially please. I will really appreciate it. See it as a loan and I will return it as soon as I am in a position to.

Unless the woman is mentally unstable, if a man approaches her with the right attitude, then she will be more than willing to help. pele lako pele labo

@chinwe please dont be annoyed jare, he is just forming. Please if you know that he is the right man for you, please assist him in whatever way that you can. A good man is worth more than a couple of hundreds thousand naira and he has heaps of time to pay you back over and over again in various different ways

As regards your question on how was he expecting to pay the rent anyway, he is no different from the millions of young men out there living from hand to mouth,thanks to the crazy economic situation of our great country Nigeria. many of us start married life with aluminum spoons in our mouths. God help us all.

And another thing, please dont borrow. I dont know why Nigerians like borrow borrow; borrow for school fees, borrow for wedding, borrow for accommodation. No No No cut your clothes according to your fabric and live within your means.

MegaG: Are u sure that dude truly wants to spend the rest of his life with u? If you ask me i would say base on your past post, i don’t think that guy is into you. If not, why spend all his money on accommodation when he has a wedding around the corner and expects you to foot 80 whole percent of the wedding? Okay let’s look at it this way, you said his rent was meant to end in September, assuming he footed the wedding, how was he planning to pay the rent? And if i may ask, what type of accommodation would take a whole 80% of the money meant for wedding? Why didn’t he go for a 1 bedroom flat and step up when the money start rolling? I no know o! But if you ask me, i would say you should read the hand writing on the wall. That guy is not ready for now![color=#990000][/color]