jennykadry:

Very important comment-my comment.

A man that opens is mouth to say "shebi you have your own money" sounds to me like one who if things get too difficult, will just sit down and expect the woman to use her own money to feed him.

dayokanu:

But the man didnt wait for the woman for him to go get them a house.

A woman who tells her groom to go borrow for marriage sounds like a reetard to me

jennykadry:

That man looks to me like someone who needed the house for himself and not for both of them. He isn't ready for marriage hence her previous post, so why should she invest on something she is not sure of?

yusuf_@:
Miss Chinwe11, if this man u're about to get married to is d same person u complained about here "www.nairaland.com/647107/asking-too-much-pls-help/1" , then i think u've got a much bigger problem, it's obvious his nonchalant attitude towards you is what is at play here!

I am only going to make a cautious comment because i can't b certain u're not only giving us ur own side of d story polished to make him look like the devil & u, d saint. how ever, if ur 2 threads are of d same man & u are being true to ur words, my simple advise is to go straight to him & ask him "if & why he really want u to b his wife?" "Make ur deductions from his response & manner of it". I believe u're matured enough to know ur nxt step!

Fhemmmy:

According to the woman, it is the house that they will live together.
why shd the man now invest into what he knows that the woman is not sure of . . .
.

Godman_n:

After going through the comments on the earlier link. I will advice @Chinwe11 to run from this man.

I hate the mentality of the majority of the ladies here. But I strongly suspect that the guy involved here is up to games. he may not what to marry you in the first place. I suspect you have been forcing yourself on him and he is probably getting the better of you financially.

His intentions over you is all but for your money. I will not be surprised if this man makes away with the money that is supposedly meant for your wedding. And probably there he might not have paid for any accommodation.

Do you really know this man very well? Are you sure he is not a fraudster because I have seen many like that.

You should be ready to give all your money to your man if you are very sure he is in love. My problem here is based on your earlier post

MegaG: [color=#990000]Are u sure that dude truly wants to spend the rest of his life with u? If you ask me i would say base on your past post, i don’t think that guy is into you. If not, why spend all his money on accommodation when he has a wedding around the corner and expects you to foot 80 whole percent of the wedding? Okay let’s look at it this way, you said his rent was meant to end in September, assuming he footed the wedding, how was he planning to pay the rent? And if i may ask, what type of accommodation would take a whole 80% of the money meant for wedding? Why didn’t he go for a 1 bedroom flat and step up when the money start rolling? I no know o! But if you ask me, i would say you should read the hand writing on the wall. That guy is not ready for now!

jennykadry:

Good, then he shouldnt have proposed ( I am assuming he did). If you know she is not sure, keep your manhood to yourself. She has trust issues cos of the way he has been acting, she has a right to step back a little and review the whole thingy

And when he proposed, how come the woman no reject, if she has so much reservation about the man?

Busy_body:


You have hit the nail on the head. And I am sure her "me, me, me, me myself and i" attitude is a contributory factor behind the guy's cold attitude to her for the past 4 years hence reason he keeps dodging the "together forever talk" with her.

Fhemmmy:

And when he proposed, how come the woman no reject, if she has so much reservation about the man?

jennykadry:

Because she loves him and was thinking with her heart? And now she is beginning to reason with her head?

ronkebp: That man is not ready to marry, he obviously cannot afford it. They should just go to court and sign papers. He rents a house, ehen after that nko Nobody is saying the lady should not help, but for him to fold his hands and say the woman should foot 80% of the wedding bills, haba!!!. Kilode??, that attitude, is "after all it is you that wants to get married, so foot the bill yourself" [that is the message am getting from his statement]

mkpologwu: See wetin half-baked civilization turn naija marriages into! On financial matters, ladies go remind us say na we bi d men!! On house chores, they will cringe and expect us to be helpful. Like: honey ain't u taking d kids to school, honey stew is in d fridge, u can boil rice or yam, etc etc.

ronkebp: That man is not ready to marry, he obviously cannot afford it. They should just go to court and sign papers. He rents a house, ehen after that nko Nobody is saying the lady should not help, but for him to fold his hands and say the woman should foot 80% of the wedding bills, haba!!!. Kilode??, that attitude, is "after all it is you that wants to get married, so foot the bill yourself" [that is the message am getting from his statement]

jennykadry:

No mind am. I repeat, if something good happens in my marriage ( I don't want to be negative) I will set him back up with what i have in my account but for me to set up a fiancé or pay so much to make my marriage happen? For wetin? Na me kill obacha collect him money?

jennykadry:

No mind am. I repeat, if something good happens in my marriage ( I don't want to be negative) I will set him back up with what i have in my account but for me to set up a fiancé or pay so much to make my marriage happen? For wetin? Na me kill obacha collect him money?

jennykadry:

Now I know why she doesn't want to contribute that much

debosky:

Thank God say all una don marry - men of nowadays don't take this type of mentality lightly.

Tgirl4real:

But Jenny, once she has agreed to marry him things are different now. Its not like she is setting him up on a biz or sponsoring his Edu. This is their wedding ceremony. And we both know that a huge chunck of the money will be spent on the bride.

I see why we have a lot of unmarried live-in couples trying to save up for their wedding. These people will end up living together for like 5-10 years without tying the knot. At the end of the day, the guy will leave and marry another girl. We've seen a lot of threads like that here.

ronkebp: That man is not ready to marry, he obviously cannot afford it. They should just go to court and sign papers. He rents a house, ehen after that nko Nobody is saying the lady should not help, but for him to fold his hands and say the woman should foot 80% of the wedding bills, haba!!!. Kilode??, that attitude, is "after all it is you that wants to get married, so foot the bill yourself" [that is the message am getting from his statement]