Donmeca:
I am stepping into Abuja from my friend's wedding in Enugu (last sat) and i was privy to d prepping. This guy did d running around and paid....without asking his girl 4money yet he cudnt av completely foot d bill without it affecting his means of livelihood. But what did dis sweet chic do? She took over items in 1 above plus sourvenirs in number 3....she organised and paid 4dem! That reduces d cost on my guy's head. Recall dat no one prompted her to take over doz. Again, she didnt ask for an elaborate display of wealth. She infact suggested a combined celebration of church and traditional weddings....where d traditional doubles as a wedding reception. So guests who cudnt make it to d church went straight to her father's compd where we didnt hav to rent a hall.

She also made sure there was food was food...my guy paid but she organised it and added some cash wen d vendor demanded some more...she also made d 3 diff cakes (wedding, igbankwu and her hubby's birthday)....she paid! And she is not desperate....she is young, has a good job plus a masters degree. Items in number 2 are chiefly a guy's thing....and d cost is reasonable if 1 and 3 are shared or taken out.
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jennykadry: I am a typical IGBO babe from ABIA STATE and I tell yous that the groom is supposed to pay for it all . What happens if the girl is a student? should she go and borrow from her father?

ME I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CHANGING MY CULTURAL VALUES BECAUSE OF A MAN. Thank you very much

slimyem: ....at least you know what he used his own part of the money for...
Its towards both your comfort after the wedding!
If you can afford it and he's worth it,then do and stop wondering about what's okay of not!don't be SELFISH!
Or betterstill postpone the wedding until he saves up enough money for the wedding and hope he hasnt changed his mind about marrying you by that time!

jennykadry: I am a typical IGBO babe from ABIA STATE and I tell yous that the groom is supposed to pay for it all . What happens if the girl is a student? should she go and borrow from her father? all these desperate girls sef na wa. Ehn she's young and bla bla bla, I also married very young too.

ME I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CHANGING MY CULTURAL VALUES BECAUSE OF A MAN. Thank you very much

dayokanu:

Then a student should cut the cost of her wedding according to the size of her grooms purse

jennykadry: I am a typical IGBO babe from ABIA STATE and I tell yous that the groom is supposed to pay for it all . What happens if the girl is a student? should she go and borrow from her father?

ME I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CHANGING MY CULTURAL VALUES BECAUSE OF A MAN. Thank you very much

dayokanu:

Then a student should cut the cost of her wedding according to the size of her grooms purse

jennykadry:

NA she get the money? the man is the one with the pocket so he should know what to do with it. When he was busy renovating house e did not remember abi?

dayokanu:

THAT your friends wife has committed an abomination in the eyes of the OP and women here. How can a woman help with her own wedding.

And from your post it seemed the wedding was in Enugu, So the chances are that the wife is also an Igbo girl which shows us this is not a problem with Igbos (so don't give Igbos a bad name) but just the greedy and self centered OP who wants her groom to go and borrow for a wedding ceremony

ronkebp:

Dayo, you are missing the points of some women here. Let me tell you personally, though some women can be stingy, if the poster in question did not see anything wrong in her fiance's attitude, she will not come here to lament. Majority of women will love to help their partners, infact you don't have to ask, as it was in the case of the poster above.

But this poster's man, already had it in mind that "anyways, the lady can foot the bill, if he doesn't" hence his lack of seriousness. And that is why i liked CC's first comment on the manner of approach and attitude, there is nothing wrong, on calling his fiance sitting her down, and letting her know that this is the situation of things, "what should we do"?? infact without even making any suggestions, the lady will cough out the money. we all need to learn how to talk to eachother with wisdom.

dayokanu:

Ronke, the plain truth is any human who has the guts to suggest borrowing for wedding deserves worse. I would have told her worse things sef if she ventured to suggest that to me.

Most men are okay with a simple wedding and get done with it, Its usually the women that want a big wedding, And if you as the bride can see the huge unbudgeted expense I have made and my financial situation and still insist on a huge wedding or I should go borrow to finance that huge wedding. Then i think the guy didnt insult him well enough

i trust myself. Omo Oyo- Oyo mesi oro (Oyo knows the appropriate reply). I would just tell her that if we want to borrow can we use her fathers house for collateral? SIMPLE

Taiw: if i were ur fiance, its a bye bye for me.i wonder why most nigerian ladies are so selfish.ur case is not the first.how can you tell your husband to borrow money when you have money as a wife?i sensed your fiance has noticed you are a selfish lady and that is why he said shebi.please when he dumps you, dont come back to nl and say men are wicked.learn from this.my neigbor has a husband used to be a molue driver.she had to convince her husband to stop d work cos its embarassing.she takes care of d family wit her income and the man does the house chores.and they live fine.recently she opened a shop him.my point is, we all get to a stage in life when we rely on our partners for help.

nubianqueen: I am married to an Ibo man and i am Yoruba. A few weeks to our wedding (four years ago), hubby's investment, which he had hoped will cover expenses for the wedding (house renovation et al) fell through. I put down N1.2 million to assist him. People please, it's no biggie. Let's stop all the 'my way or the high way' mentality already. What works for you doesn't necessarily have to work for me. I have no regrets whatsoever and i will do it all over again if i have to. Five months after our wedding, hubby took a loan to buy me a brand new car (his way of showing appreciation? i dunno)If you have made up your mind to spend the rest of your life with someone, then i think seeking people's opinions on the matter should not even come up. Nobody needs to know who is contributing what abeg. Per letting it get to your head? Does it get to his head when he spends money on you? why should it get to your head that you were able to help your man in his time of need? abi am i missing something? Marriage to me, is not about finding a partner to carry your financial burden for the rest of your life na?

nubianqueen: I am married to an Ibo man and i am Yoruba. A few weeks to our wedding (four years ago), hubby's investment, which he had hoped will cover expenses for the wedding (house renovation et al) fell through. I put down N1.2 million to assist him. People please, it's no biggie. Let's stop all the 'my way or the high way' mentality already. What works for you doesn't necessarily have to work for me. I have no regrets whatsoever and i will do it all over again if i have to. Five months after our wedding, hubby took a loan to buy me a brand new car (his way of showing appreciation? i dunno)If you have made up your mind to spend the rest of your life with someone, then i think seeking people's opinions on the matter should not even come up. Nobody needs to know who is contributing what abeg. Per letting it get to your head? Does it get to his head when he spends money on you? why should it get to your head that you were able to help your man in his time of need? abi am i missing something? Marriage to me, is not about finding a partner to carry your financial burden for the rest of your life na?

nubianqueen: I am married to an Ibo man and i am Yoruba. A few weeks to our wedding (four years ago), hubby's investment, which he had hoped will cover expenses for the wedding (house renovation et al) fell through. I put down N1.2 million to assist him. People please, it's no biggie. Let's stop all the 'my way or the high way' mentality already. What works for you doesn't necessarily have to work for me. I have no regrets whatsoever and i will do it all over again if i have to. Five months after our wedding, hubby took a loan to buy me a brand new car (his way of showing appreciation? i dunno)If you have made up your mind to spend the rest of your life with someone, then i think seeking people's opinions on the matter should not even come up. Nobody needs to know who is contributing what abeg. Per letting it get to your head? Does it get to his head when he spends money on you? why should it get to your head that you were able to help your man in his time of need? abi am i missing something? Marriage to me, is not about finding a partner to carry your financial burden for the rest of your life na?

dayokanu:

Ronke, the plain truth is any human who has the guts to suggest borrowing for wedding deserves worse. I would have told her worse things sef if she ventured to suggest that to me.

Most men are okay with a simple wedding and get done with it, Its usually the women that want a big wedding, And if you as the bride can see the huge unbudgeted expense I have made and my financial situation and still insist on a huge wedding or I should go borrow to finance that huge wedding. Then i think the guy didnt insult him well enough

i trust myself. Omo Oyo- Oyo mesi oro (Oyo knows the appropriate reply). I would just tell her that if we want to borrow can we use her fathers house for collateral? Or thats the reason they dont have "ajeseku" in her family, they eat with all their mouth SIMPLE :8

Boyloaf: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm God know how dis marriage thing scares me a lot, and with dis thread, my fears just increased 'raise to the power of 100' i ha.te selfish people, irrespective of gender!

Outstrip: I wish all these men would be as vocal when a woman comes on here and says that her mother in law has been living with her for 3 years and its time for mama to leave. They will ask her if she is the one who married the man or if he married her. That is why this culture thing is bullshit to me. Always has and always will. If you are going to say that she should not whine then please drop the culture thing all together. Anyway it seems that they are not ready to get married. The man especially is not ready and he has been expressing it quite clearly

chinwe11: Nairalanders, i have some questions oh. I am getting married in August..............my fiance and i are both working, but the house where he is staying now is having some problems, and might fall soon, so the landlord told them all to evacuate so he can renovate. (The rent was expiring in September anyway) My fiance then decided to use part of the money for the wedding to rent a new house for us. The problem now is, after renting the house, he had to do renovations etc, and now the wedding for the money is almost finished to about 20% left. he is now saying shebi i also have money that i should make up the remaining 80%. Please nairalanders what do you think? Is a woman supposed to pay the bulk money for the wedding?



Afterall what plans did he have for rent after the wedding? I told him to borrow money he said no.

omonaija87:

This is absurd. How would he expect you to make up 80% of the wedding money? Was the money used to get the new house all his money? If yes, then work something out with him about the wedding but 80% is a little too much for 1 person to bear.

If you guys decide to borrow, abeg no borrow too much oh. Borrow easy but to payback na him hard pass!!