qualified: @op, dont allow all these hypocrites talk down on u. Most of them are kids, js bragging n trying to 'belong'.

There is nothing wrong wit wht u are doing. The truth is, i will forever love any guy takes so much care of me, cos they are hard to find. Girls appreciate such men.

YES O!i lik n cherish a guy who does dat 2 bt it has 2 b a 50-50 tin though.they r also men who dnt apr8 a tin u do 4 dem,even if u lik kil urself 4 him,na u sabi.

I've always said that a real man is not defined by how little he does in d house or how much money he spends. A real man can help out in d house and still remain the HNIC (that's Head Nigga In Charge). Being a man goes beyond just staying away from chores. When ur woman has issues at work, with her family, with her faith, with her dreams, with herself generally, who does she go to? D ur words immediately bring an end to her issues? Are u the person to meet? Does she knw that U have her back? If u'r not all these and u think simply staying away from the kitchen and bringing some cash when she needs it is all u need to b a man, then u got it wrong man.

Help ur woman at home. A woman who disrespects u cos u clean up with her will disrespect u even if you don't. Also, I'm guessing women also use their money for the house which is out of her 'traditional' role.

ocelot2006: Wife: Yes

Girlfriend: HELL NO!! I dey craze?

No b gf go turn to wife?

Yes a guy can cook for his girlfriend

ti-ebe:
I've always said that a real man is not defined by how little he does in d house or how much money he spends. A real man can help out in d house and still remain the HNIC (that's Head Nigga In Charge). Being a man goes beyond just staying away from chores. When ur woman has issues at work, with her family, with her faith, with her dreams, with herself generally, who does she go to? D ur words immediately bring an end to her issues? Are u the person to meet? Does she knw that U have her back? If u'r not all these and u think simply staying away from the kitchen and bringing some cash when she needs it is all u need to b a man, then u got it wrong man.

Help ur woman at home. A woman who disrespects u cos u clean up with her will disrespect u even if you don't. Also, I'm guessing women also use their money for the house which is out of her 'traditional' role.

We're talking girlfriend here. Not wife and not fiance. Very different dynamics.

nnekamadi: Yes a guy can cook for his girlfriend

Cooking is nothing. What of cleaning your house and washing your clothes and soiled panties whenever he is around?
You will sooner start seeing him as a houseboy after the novelty and initial joy wears off.

Just like how we all take air for granted and sometimes in a whole day never even think about it.

TisaBone: No disrespect at all, but um... Seriously u are coming across as very bitter like someone who you catered to (like a real man should) hurt you badly.

U Don't have to confirm or deny what i. Have just said, but if my hypothesis is correct, you need to get past that hurt and pain, because if you come across a female who is more deerving of that presidential treatment, you may end up Mis-TREATING her instead of giving her what she rightly deserves from u . I beg of u to quit thinking so negatively. Not all women are the same, and although few and far between, good women actually exist out there. Don't you forget that daddy.

TisaBone: I'm talkin to you buffy.

Thanks my Gorgeous sis, but I don't have to have experienced any of this to understand the human condition.
It is an uncontrollable aspect of our nature to take things frequently done for granted, especially when we are too young and st[i]u[/i]pid and never actually lacked or hungered for that thing in the past in order to truly appreciate it now. As i said, after a woman has "gotten around the block", only then can she really have a better appreciation of what a good man has to offer.

Like the way someone that escapes death by a hair's breath afterwards has a much more vivid appreciation for life.
In the words of Jesus, "Don't cast your precious gems to dogs. They will simply trample it under their feet and then turn on you". You would notice that God's attitude towards us is essentially the same way, and it's not because He is wicked.

My point also still stands that if it is not something you intend to do going forward, best not to even start it as this is just deception. Better to be pleasantly surprised in the future than be silently disappointing. It doesn't make anyone "less of a man" to choose NOT to clean and wash for a girlfriend.

if dis s joke,let it better be.if not don't u ever try dat bullshit again.re u a woman wrapper.c hw u re fooling urself in d name of lv.is she sick,no.and u stil hv d audacity to utter dis nonsense out.be careful

2buff:

We're talking girlfriend here. Not wife and not fiance. Very different dynamics.

boomssey: No b gf go turn to wife?

For girlfriends: LAELAE! Never!
For wife: cooking? Maybe. Cleaning? No!

ismhab:
Are u the husband to be? or is the husband to be?

That so wrong. You have a typical Nigerian man mentality. Ignorant. I don't see anything wrong with dat. My bf cooks for me alot& I don't take it for granted. It's called love. That y whenever he wants me to do something, I try to do it REALLY well and respect him alot too

Weave:

That so wrong. You have a typical Nigerian man mentality. Ignorant. I don't see anything wrong with dat. My bf cooks for me alot& I don't take it for granted. It's called love. That y whenever he wants me to do something, I try to do it REALLY well and respect him alot too

Tell them jare.

Witty07:

A coward in what sense.better be sincere with your self.
mind you bossy could be relative. Imagine a stubborn wife who is so full of herself and a cool headed and submissive one that is open to learning from the husband.Out of this two, which one motivates the man

A male chauvinist can never earn my respect..and by a coward,I mean men who try to earn respect by instilling fear.A real man would command his woman's respect by loving,caring and treating her right .Going by your example,it's pretty obvious that the submissive one would loved by the man.I must say I like you analogy cuz you didn't point the man as a bigot.he was openminded to the two women but one chose to be an arse.what I'm saying in essence is that men shouldn't treat women like trash because they probably suffered in their past relationships..All the women you've (don't mean you)dated might be arses but you meet this sweet girl who you have resolved to deal with cuz of the way you were treated not knowing that's your angel you're gonna be mistreating.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN ASSISTING YOUR WIFE DOMESTICALLY AS LONG AS SHE DOES NOT ABUSE IT.ITS ACTUALLY FUN DOING IT TOGETHER.RESPONSIBLE WOMEN APPRECIATES IT.

Can't people read? The topic is about girlfriends. Answer if you can clean and wash for your girlfriends (g string et al) and stop answering the one no body asked so you can get thumbs up from women.

smh

2buff:

I think you're speaking from a husband wife perspective. In which case, there's no point not doing it.
The topic I think is mostly focused on boyfriend girlfriend. Especially driving to her house to clean and wash etc.

Oga 2Buff most men are not taught the need for domestic-ation[permit me to use that word] by their mothers when growing up. They think washing, cleaning up and cooking is a woman's job. Please show me which manual of being a man emphasises that he should not do all these.
Again whatever negative or positive trait a man exhibits when single is the same he will portray in his own home weda na for babe, concubine or wife.
If you have an oportunity to make her smile by helping out why not, afterall it doesn't take anything from you!!!!1

2buff: Can't people read? The topic is about girlfriends. Answer if you can clean and wash for your girlfriends (g string et al) and stop answering the one no body asked so you can get thumbs up from women.

Seems u be minor, hence your manner of discourse and obvious reactions to responses!!!
Try not to trivialise issues and keep and open mind for constructive arguements.
Here no be anybody Papa house or towns meeting so why should anyone want to be a crowd pleaser?

redleich:
Seems u be minor, hence your manner of discourse and obvious reactions to responses!!!
Try not to trivialise issues and keep and open mind for constructive arguements.
Here no be anybody Papa house or towns meeting so why should anyone want to be a crowd pleaser?

I'm a minor for telling people to stop derailing threads? Wonderfully deduced.
Why should anyone not help their wives around the house? The topic is aimed at something else entirely.

redleich:
Oga 2Buff most men are not taught the need for domestic-ation[permit me to use that word] by their mothers when growing up. They think washing, cleaning up and cooking is a woman's job. Please show me which manual of being a man emphasises that he should not do all these.
Again whatever negative or positive trait a man exhibits when single is the same he will portray in his own home weda na for babe, concubine or wife.
If you have an oportunity to make her smile by helping out why not, afterall it doesn't take anything from you!!!!1

It depends on the woman. I'm sure you can also read and see the life experiences of your fellow men on this same thread who did in the past and have furthermore sworn off it for good reason.
It may not take anything from you but sometimes, doing that stuff is not the way to go (which is also good because you are left with more time for yourself. Not everything is necessarily "bad" ).

Just as well, there is a big difference between being domesticated in your own house and going to another woman's house to go and be doing domestication steadily . When you are married, you are in your house. I can cook for my girl in my house when she visits easy. But that Akpan/houseboy/thong-washing thing is not going to happen. She'll enjoy that if I end up wifing her.
In the mean time, she'll know I love her, but it would be through other means.

uihebom: wash g strings? eeewwwwww dats disgusting.

Disgusting, right? yet you will rush to bury your dik in that same hole that the G.string covers.

The whole idea is laudable but from a woman's view point,most of us will take you for granted,like your ex already did. My hubby was such a -0 when it came to anything kitchen. Everything was on me.i never knew he was secretly learning how to cook until he surprised me one day with beans and yam. The meal was so appalling but i loved the effort. Today he's a guru. We take turns. He's got loads of cookery books and surprises us from time to time. Then people complained that i wasn't the wifey material because i wasnt doing his laundry,housekeeping etc. That was because "he never let me". These attributes combined with his whole gentlemanness made me quickly say yes when he proposed. So OP, keep doing what you do. I pray you do it for a girl that'll appreciate you.

The whole idea is laudable but from a woman's view point,most of us will take you for granted,like your ex already did. My hubby was such a -0 when it came to anything kitchen. Everything was on me.i never knew he was secretly learning how to cook until he surprised me one day with beans and yam. The meal was so appalling but i loved the effort. Today he's a guru. We take turns. He's got loads of cookery books and surprises us from time to time. Then people complained that i wasn't the wifey material because i wasnt doing his laundry,housekeeping etc. That was because "he never let me". These attributes combined with his whole gentlemanness made me quickly say yes when he proposed. Managing the home front is so easy for me cos we're a team.So OP, keep doing what you do. I pray you do it for a girl that'll appreciate you.

whats ur take?

Bluetooth2:

You need to grow up.Real men dont kiss their ladies asss !

Honestly, I would not mind kissing her's if she kisses mine.

Except if am in a movieworld.

hmmmm, na wa..o

Maybe you WERE too attached but just didn't know it. 1st person perspective vs 3rd.

There is a difference between being caring and being a mugu.
By terminology, being "caring" really means showing love on your own terms. Being a mugu is showing love on the other person's terms (and by that definition, I am sure you can see that being a mugu just never makes sense....ever).

Self-respect CAN co-exist with showing love. Meaning you will not debase yourself or allow your gestures to be abused while caring for the other person. And that you certainly wouldn't continue if it seems that you are the ONLY one putting in these efforts.

The same applies to girls who attach to their man and over-follow him everywhere like a puppy. The guy would eventually lose respect for her because it just seems like she has no life of her own.

The feeling is much worse for a girl thinking of a man like that, because unlike men, it is absolutely impossible for a woman to love a man she does not respect (or fear). She may form "we are a good couple" for the sake of face, but when real men she respects enter the room, she will beam at/walk to them and forget the mugu standing behind her that night. Such is life.

The girls saying they will "appreciate" a man doing that for them are thinking of the man they already fantasize about or respect, doing that for them NOT the mugu-minded man (he gets no such mental real-estate).
If they have no respect for you to begin with, if you like wash all their blood-stained pynt and cook for them every week, you will get nothing but reproach and will be called a f00l behind your back...or even in your face while you dey wash her kpata.

Ofcourse, like all things, when the girl becomes an old woman with less options, menopause running to meet her with speed, and none of her prime targets were interested enough to make a decent woman out of her, ofcourse the mugu starts to look like a catch. But by then he is usually just licking the dirty plate clean after the other men with self-respect had the full meal.

Maybe you WERE too attached but just didn't know it. 1st person perspective vs 3rd.

There is a difference between being caring and being a mugu.
By terminology, being "caring" really means showing love on your own terms. Being a mugu is showing love on the other person's terms (and by that definition, I am sure you can see that being a mugu just never makes sense....ever).

Self-respect CAN co-exist with showing love. Meaning you will not debase yourself or allow your gestures to be abused while caring for the other person. And that you certainly wouldn't continue if it seems that you are the ONLY one putting in these efforts.

The same applies to girls who attach to their man and over-follow him everywhere like a puppy. The guy would eventually lose respect for her because it just seems like she has no life of her own.

The feeling is much worse for a girl thinking of a man like that, because unlike men, it is absolutely impossible for a woman to love a man she does not respect (or fear). She may form "we are a good couple" for the sake of face, but when real men she respects enter the room, she will beam at/walk to them and forget the mugu standing behind her that night. Such is life.

The girls saying they will "appreciate" a man doing that for them are thinking of the man they already fantasize about or respect, doing that for them NOT the mugu-minded man (he gets no such mental real-estate).
If they have no respect for you to begin with, if you like wash all their blood-stained pynt and cook for them every week, you will get nothing but reproach and will be called a f00l behind your back...or even in your face while you dey wash her kpata.

Ofcourse, like all things, when the girl becomes an old woman with less options, menopause running to meet her with speed, and none of her prime targets were interested enough to make a decent woman out of her, ofcourse the mugu starts to look like a catch. But by then he is usually just licking the dirty plate clean after the other men with self-respect had the full meal.

Damn that's scary!

Tinkybabe:
There is absolutely nothing wrong in a man doing those things for his girl.All those saying they would do it for their wives and not gf should spare me..isn't your wife first gonna be a girlfriend? And I'm sure that wasn't the reason the op's gf broke up with him so y'all should stop capitalizing on that.I'm gonna respect a man who can do those things and still maintain his stand as a man.Any man who feels the only way he can prove his masculinity is by being domineering and excessively bossy is nothing but a coward..some guys need to snap out of their ancient mentality.

This one na story for the gods

When a woman gives that legendary beeping, there's no telling what a man will do after. He may clean her house, iron her clothes, go buy her sanitary pads, grocery shopping, buy weave and more. ... No! I am not talking about me. I have my shitt together.