I have created this thread because I am not happy at the rate at which suicide is becoming common amongst Nigerians at home and abroad. You may ask: don't I care about other nationalities? Well, I do but I fear that I may not be able to understand their condition as I would Nigerians. However, all people are welcome irrespective of their Nationality because every life is valuable and every individual is special (you wouldn't be here if God didn't think so).

I am using this medium to beg those that will contribute to this thread to understand that this is not a place for joking or taunting people. It is a matter of life and death. If you are feeling like dying, killing yourself or hurting those around you, I want to use this opportunity to beg you to talk to us here- don't do anything. At least humour us here with our folly, we know we cannot truly understand your plight but we are willing to learn from you.

Again: This is serious business (matter of life and death), don't come here to fool around with people or their emotions!

I would really like the moderator to sticky this as I think this is an area that posting on this forum can really make a difference, let us make it work!

Thank you!

I l know that living in Nigeria can be like living in hell but I didn't know that Nigerians were suicidal I thought they were very resilient people.

I plan to jump off a bridge tomorrow.

You have 1 day to convince why life has any true meaning.

Jump!

Nice thread . . .

@ poster, you're a nice man

Good job Mac!

I chased TOH's ikebe over here

Hey, to all troubled minds and souls, listen, Mac is correct. This is a community! Community is a support structure and though it's not a private forum, we would love that you come in here first and seek a second, and possibly a thrid and fourth opinion on your situation.

There is the story of a village feast hosted by a wise man. The village had once enjoyed great prosperity and wealth but times turned and the seasons were harsh on them. Harvests dwindled, the soil lost its fertility, hot season was long, rainy season was short, planted crops yielded late, some rotted in the soil, some were destroyed by plagues, farmers went into debt, husbands abandoned wives and children and went on adventure, wives were unfaithful to their husbands, children were sick, elderly were left without help, houses destroyed by fire, water holes dried. . . back to back, tragedy upon devastation; they solve one problem and it's replaced by five new ones. People were sullen and their spirit was heavy and sunk.

They arrived at the feast expecting to be dined and wined. The stoves were cold, no thumping of the mortar and pestle, the wine gourds were turned upside, no smoke or fire anywhere around. They wondered what the wise man meant by "feast", so they all sat around this big and long table, each one consumed by the thoughts of problems and issues in his/her household. The wise man showed up and announced that he truly meant a feast, an exchange of goodwill and pleasantries to lighten their burdened souls. So he announced that each person should make a list of his/her problems and place it on the table. After this was done, he then asked that each person in turn go around the table and shop the lists for a less burdening but affordable trouble to take home with them in exchange for what they deposited.Three hours later, he noticed the cheers on people faces and wondered why, the exchanges must be going very well. Everyone settled and there were smilling faces and laughter and plesantries. The wise man then stood up and asked if there is anyone that will not be going home with the same problem they came with. No one answered.

If you think you have a bad problem, there are people willing to exchange theirs for yourrs. So please, before you hurt yourself or anyone else,, stop here and feast with us. . . . .per chance you might find a favorable exchange.

^More blessings.

Exactly what negromtn said. No matter how bad it is there is definitely someone somewhere that wishes they were you. Do not do it. There is nothing that is worth taking your life. You are precious

hmm

I'm not sure anything will ever make me contemplate suicide,I just don't get why people do it.

They were probably pressuring her to find a husband.

I'm not contemplating suicide but this life could be frustrating at times, imagine someone graduating from the university since 2008 without a job,no means of livelihood,no husband, no fiancee, hearing people's success stories everyday but have nothing successful to say about your life,yet you still have people that expects to feed from you, after all they are not your parents and they saw you thru school, you have to pay back one way or the other, not knowing the way forward for some people that are not strong willed could lead to committing suicide.

^^^ Are you talking of yourself?

If you have no job then why would your parents expect you to feed them?

They should instead be very vigilant in prayer and try to help you find employment.

You dont have to be rich, in nigeria to network. People in high positions are usually expected to help others from their hometowns or regions, to get jobs even if the job is a small one. A poor person can still ask a rich influential man or woman, for help with jobs etc in nigeria, as far as i know.

You start from somewhere, no matter how small even if its as an office clerk or car washer or something.

That's my opinion.

It can be bigger than just day to day issues. a person can be depressed and our people as a rule do not even acknowledge things like that. Lots of support is what a suicidal person needs. Not jail time like they do in Nigeria or stigmatization

thanks mac.God bless you for this thread. I have a cousin in DC who attempted suicide twice,she has gone through some counselling and she seems to be okay but the mum is still afraid of relapse or something else. She decide maybe she should go to lagos for deliverance,but her fear is that she may refuse to go home(they left home when she was two and she is now 24).Another problem is that will she accept to do the program?This year she shot herself in the stomach in an attempt to die(before counselling),her mum claims she does not have any serious relationship but what the real problem was is a misery.I will be in thier house nextweek to really see things myself cause i have not seen this girl for a quite a long time.

@mirob

there is a vacancy in the fashion section for office assistant assuming you stay in lagos, other vacancies exist in Nigeria check the jobs section. Why should anyone want to feed from you? That is the problem with Nigeria. Where were they when you were or are suffering? All these so called relations. As for fiance, please check romance section and put your best picture there, maybe 190 and his gang will help you out.

@daniel2007, Siena and others, your compliments are appreciated.

@daniel2007. Your cousin needs someone who is out of her present set of acquintances to listen to why she wants to die. Sometimes, people think that they have nothing worth living for and think death is a glorious option. You need to give them a purpose to live for.

When you go to see your cousin, let her know that if she is not happy with the current state of her life, she can change environment and meet new people who will not judge her because they know-not of her past. You need to do some research on things she likes and will be eager to talk about or act-on. I think if you make her responsible for something she may think of it first before trying to harm herself.

If she does not hate animals, you may think of getting her a pet. A cat wouldn't be bad- preferably a cute kitten. It should trigger of some maternal instinct in her subconscious mind- she should think 'I too could be a mother someday.'

Let us know what you come-up with after seeing her.

It‘s very important for us to understand our individual lives first, lest we get carried away by d state of our environ.

It is unwise & irresponsible 4 one to take his life due to d state of things around. My friend; LOOK INWARD, THERE MORE!

obowunmi:

They were probably pressuring her to find a husband.

LOL, that could be a possibility considering most Nigerians put immense pressure on people to marry whether the person wants it or not. However, that is not a reason to commit suicide. One can just cut people who put pressure on others off and stop picking their calls.

pmpt:
It is unwise & irresponsible 4 one to take his life due to d state of things around. My friend; LOOK INWARD, THERE MORE!

Prmpt, pray you stay strong mentally all the days of your life. Health I guess is defined as 'a state of physical and mental well being'. The way you fall sick with malaria,ulcer and other illnesses physically, that is how you fall since mentally too. If your malaria is not treated properly it cud become acute malaria. If your being sad/unhappiness once in a while is handled, you get depressed. It cud also degenerate to acute depression when person attempt to take their lives.

I have been there so I know what the lady is going thru'. She needs a lot of love and care. She needs to complete her counselling section and take her drugs religiously. The suicide urge comes like a spell, it was only the thot of hell fire awaiting me that kept me from committing suicide then. Today am fine and excelling, I give God praise. If one goes thru any emotional issue like loss of a dear one, you need to go for counselling/therapy to off load the burden so it does not pile up, which will eventually lead to a breakdown.

purplelady:

pmpt:
It is unwise & irresponsible 4 one to take his life due to d state of things around. My friend; LOOK INWARD, THERE MORE!

Prmpt, pray you stay strong mentally all the days of your life. Health I guess is defined as 'a state of physical and mental well being'. The way you fall sick with malaria,ulcer and other illnesses physically, that is how you fall since mentally too. If your malaria is not treated properly it cud become acute malaria. If your being sad/unhappiness once in a while is handled, you get depressed. It cud also degenerate to acute depression when person attempt to take their lives.

I have been there so I know what the lady is going thru'. She needs a lot of love and care. She needs to complete her counselling section and take her drugs religiously. The suicide urge comes like a spell, it was only the thot of hell fire awaiting me that kept me from committing suicide then. Today am fine and excelling, I give God praise. If one goes thru any emotional issue like loss of a dear one, you need to go for counselling/therapy to off load the burden so it does not pile up, which will eventually lead to a breakdown.

Purplelady, I agree that religion can play a key role in preventing one from doing the abominable deed as it happened in your case. However, I am of the opinion that most suicidal people have given-up on religion. Hence, they may not be willing to talk to you truthfully if you approach them with an overtly religious approach.

I think you can emphasize religion with them after they have gotten-out of their worst spell. This is a complex problem and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Each case should be seen and addressed uniquely with the aim being to help a seriously vulnerable person cope with life.

Pray for them individually (by yourself) but only pray with them if they want you to. At the stage they have reached mentally, you want to reason with them not argue against them. Over time, they should be able to drop some of their more unrealistic ideas and opinions by themselves. Then you can guide them to 'safer ground' with their consent, God-willing.

This is a really good thread and I would like to add my 2 benjys!

Mental illness is real unfortunately, there is so much stigma attached to it everywhere, maybe a little worse in Africa. No adequate medical, social or psych social support; these add to the challenges for the patients.

We are not the same. What you proffer as a simple solution may be totally depressing to a suicidal person. They are in every cadre and some emotional trauma may tip them over the edge.

If someone reading this has suicidal ideation or knows someone that does, the next question is do you have a plan? If you have a planned way to commit suicide, then you need to get help fast. Seek out someone with a psych background and you may be saving your own life.

Why would you not want to die? Answering this question may be an additional reminder to not commit suicide. A suicidal person has reason(s) for their action even though the rest of the people may not see or understand it.

For those who are not suicidal, try a little empathy and kindness. We are not all made of the same stuff,
Some humans are indeed fragile.

Hi all,

please don't get me wrong from the on-set, am not a prophet of doom but if their is any one contemplating suicide cause of the hardship around he/her hasn't seen any thing yet.

2012  (maybe cause of the mayen prophecy:i dont know) is going to be a whole lot worse than anything 2011 ever brought up. Dont ask me why but thank God majority of Nigerians are resilient as some one said earlier probably cause the average Nigerian will rather live a lie than face up to his reality hence the cliche suffering and smiling.

Real Nigerians can't afford the luxury of suicide. Aside other factors, Nigerians can't get to think of it. That's why we take poop a lot and don't fight back cause we don't wanna die, Come to the gutter and see what I mean.

even if things have gone that bad, the fact that God frowns against it is enough to desist. what's the point when after u kill urself u end up in hell, a much worse condition??

The way things are in the world now, will make people be suicidal. But when you know God and build a relationship with Him, things will be easier.

Becos no matter what you are going thru, you just believe that it will be better. You see how people's lives in the bible and those around you,  that belived God, became ok after a while.

For those of us who do not commit suiside, it is not becos we are strong but becos we have give our lives to Christ and He just gives us peace and takes care of our lives. No matter the situation we know it will be ok, cos Jesus is in charge

Thank you for this. When I got divorced I was alone and suicidal. Twice I tried to overdose. 1st time I had all d pills and was even writing a note I said a prayer and then someone who I hadn't spoken to in 10yrs called me from UK and just said she felt the urge to call and gist, we spoke for 15 minutes, she made me laugh said all d right things and I knew that had to be a sign from God. Second time I was about to at about 8.30 I heard a knock on ma door, my sister came with her son, said d boy had been restless and said he must spend d night in my house.
So many pple deal with so so much and we live in a society where its not really easy to share ur pains for d fear of judgement and stigma. I advice pple who come to give advice to pple who share their burdens here pls listen without judgements and insults, ur words may be what stands between someones life and death