Ego2: u welcome swt

smileysmiles: my WORST blind date was in 2009 ASUU had dis mad strike den. i got tired of sitting home so i went to visit my maternal grannys at ekiti. thrz dis dude i was chatting with on facebook then. He was in d same axis so i felt let me just meet someone new.
All along i dint check his pictures(i was chatting out of boredom) but on the day we were to meet. i quickly browsed thru and he looked "ok"
when he called to say he was at d agreed point, i got confused! d guy in d pic was fair and i couldnt see him. next thing dis dude stood infront of me and started rapping yoruba " ahh mo ti ri e latokan, mo ti wo awon pics e pa, shori kani ese e nikan ni mori ni ma damo" meanin' i saw u immediately u got here, i have studied ur pictures on fb infact if i see ur leg alone i can identify it"
i was going to buy novels dat day and he ffd me and all thru the ride he kept rappin d yoruba, it was awkward, we took public transport and he was shouting! After d novels , i expected that we should go chill somewhr but he said we should be strolling (under hot sun)
Long story short when heat stroke wan catch me i told him to lets go sit in an eatery, he kept telling me about how his car is bad and bla bla bla.
Guess who paid for both our meals!



ME!

HAH:

Are you playing hard to get, well I like that I see your response as yes

MissJennifer:


Its a big fat NO!

angela98: you can start by asking me to tell you about the qualities of guy am looking to date.

RICHIEKIN: I careless insult me well dat one knw stop me from loving you dotcom

angela98: ha ha ha abeg comot hand from my waist.. niaralanders..ha ha ha

Nielbaba: After reading almost all d 30 somtin pages of lafta. I decided to drop mine , jan 6 ,2012, der was no lite in our street for like 2days ,n im bored alone at ome (we stay around akoka) so i went to visit my bro in his hostel,unilag.imediatley i put on my fone. I saw a friend request on 2go, i accepted,saw dis angelic pic i was so earger to chat her. I asked where she skool, she said she just gained admission into my skool den,AAUA den i was in final year, so i just winder how she take get my number, we started chatting day in day out, calls, text messages, etc, as per say me be final year student, i gave her d catch dem young............. you know ;Di asked her out later, she agree, she even introduce me to her cousin (ghost i! Think) cos everytin about dat 1 never exist. But she eill call me 100 times a day to take care of her little cousin oo. February 15 we agree to meet, she. Said i sukd com n pik her up at iyana ipaja,hmmm i i imagine d distance n d t fair of both of us, from der bak to akoka and she goin bak again,i scoped her n told her how she will come alone she said she's never been to my arear before, so i have no option than to go pik her, her ghost cousin akso calld me that i should com pik her sis o make she no lost (dem b dey for dis kin rich pikin) she tokd me den dat her dad in uk and her mum in abuja dat shes alone with her bro in der ous, (all na wash) cos all d time wey her dad call her wey i see, na naija mtn number .bak to d story,i left for iyana ipaja, h said shes in d traffic dat i sukd chill small, n me no get much for hand, i for enta one bar sip somtin, na so i start to dey waka up n down for iyana oo tik she called and asked me to com down to one filling station,(i don forget d name sha. Close to one brt bus stoop) she say she dey d entrance, i was at d oda entrance, she said shes on d oda side, see ghen ghen moment i saw a fat. XXL size lady like she droping a call, she no see me sha, i wan run before,i just make up my mind say notin dey happen(just imagening my skinny size can be removed from hers 4 good time ) she was buyin sandal. So she was bending down, i touched her from behind, she looked up and smile . see beard. For her face, na den i know say i don enta am, are u daniel, i said yes,i no fit say anytin again, she paid for what she bought, we left for park, droped at yaba, enta campus shuttle droped at gate, treckin from unilag gat to pako bus stop, i let her walk a bit faster dan me. Make pple no tink sy we dey waka togeda, i com dey form long fone call whill pointin to her to just go strait, we got to pako,we enta keke to community road, got ome only me n her, all i can offer her was cold water, cos i don dey boul inside sef she sef no even ask for anytin, d story lng sha, cos she no wan go again,i sha scope her., she left, we still talk sha, dat mont end she left for sckoll as a fressher, me got to skool march ending n till i graduated i aelays dodge her, she always adk of my ous i told her im living wit friends. Ps i close eye bleep her dat day ooo, but she dey form holy virg** wen we be dey talk on fone

mumu9gerian:
Bros, abeg learn how to write well

Nielbaba: After reading almost all d 30 somtin pages of lafta. I decided to drop mine , jan 6 ,2012, der was no lite in our street for like 2days ,n im bored alone at ome (we stay around akoka) so i went to visit my bro in his hostel,unilag.imediatley i put on my fone. I saw a friend request on 2go, i accepted,saw dis angelic pic i was so earger to chat her. I asked where she skool, she said she just gained admission into my skool den,AAUA den i was in final year, so i just winder how she take get my number, we started chatting day in day out, calls, text messages, etc, as per say me be final year student, i gave her d catch dem young............. you know ;Di asked her out later, she agree, she even introduce me to her cousin (ghost i! Think) cos everytin about dat 1 never exist. But she eill call me 100 times a day to take care of her little cousin oo. February 15 we agree to meet, she. Said i sukd com n pik her up at iyana ipaja,hmmm i i imagine d distance n d t fair of both of us, from der bak to akoka and she goin bak again,i scoped her n told her how she will come alone she said she's never been to my arear before, so i have no option than to go pik her, her ghost cousin akso calld me that i should com pik her sis o make she no lost (dem b dey for dis kin rich pikin) she tokd me den dat her dad in uk and her mum in abuja dat shes alone with her bro in der ous, (all na wash) cos all d time wey her dad call her wey i see, na naija mtn number .bak to d story,i left for iyana ipaja, h said shes in d traffic dat i sukd chill small, n me no get much for hand, i for enta one bar sip somtin, na so i start to dey waka up n down for iyana oo tik she called and asked me to com down to one filling station,(i don forget d name sha. Close to one brt bus stoop) she say she dey d entrance, i was at d oda entrance, she said shes on d oda side, see ghen ghen moment i saw a fat. XXL size lady like she droping a call, she no see me sha, i wan run before,i just make up my mind say notin dey happen(just imagening my skinny size can be removed from hers 4 good time ) she was buyin sandal. So she was bending down, i touched her from behind, she looked up and smile . see beard. For her face, na den i know say i don enta am, are u daniel, i said yes,i no fit say anytin again, she paid for what she bought, we left for park, droped at yaba, enta campus shuttle droped at gate, treckin from unilag gat to pako bus stop, i let her walk a bit faster dan me. Make pple no tink sy we dey waka togeda, i com dey form long fone call whill pointin to her to just go strait, we got to pako,we enta keke to community road, got ome only me n her, all i can offer her was cold water, cos i don dey boul inside sef she sef no even ask for anytin, d story lng sha, cos she no wan go again,i sha scope her., she left, we still talk sha, dat mont end she left for sckoll as a fressher, me got to skool march ending n till i graduated i aelays dodge her, she always adk of my ous i told her im living wit friends. Ps i close eye bleep her dat day ooo, but she dey form holy virg** wen we be dey talk on fone

tosyne2much: so u stil manage bleep her abi ? Lwkmd

mstik: I think you should "unjoin" again

Magicdon:
nawa ooo, u for stay at least 4 days n lash congo collect money na

mstik: My friend come dey vex inside but, he no fit run na. He come ask the girl why she looked different from her DP and the babe come laugh, tell am na her cousin be that!
Anyway, the girl come say she wan watch movie. So, they watched a movie and my guy reluctantly paid(plus the friend she brought along o)plus popcorn, drinks and sharwarma . After that, my guy come tell the girl he don tire, ;Dthat he wants to go. The babe come laugh ask am" how can you leave without even feeding me?" . So, the guy took them to a restaurant and bought food for them. He tell me say the girl and her friend dey chop like elephant. After that, the babe come tell him that she wan see another movie. He now told the girl that he couldn't, that he had headache and stomach ache. The girl now opened her mouth to say" okay, you can go if you want but at least, give me and my friend transport money. And we only take cabs. We don't use bus". My guy was speechless at this. But because he wan escape, he gave them the money and silently turned to leave. She come say" aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?'. My guy just look at the boju boju wey want goodnight kiss. He just hold himself make him no insult the stupid girl and went home. He deleted her on bbm, deleted her number and everything about her on his phone. He then sent her a text message,gave her strong words and told her never to call him again. The babe kept on sending him texts, professing her love for him and asking for another date lol.

Since then, he has never gone on any blind date, no matter how fine the girl's DP is.


This is the end of my story

Mattclara:
can smell lie here, the thing actually happened to you so just say it.... I nor hold cain for hand.... No beating.lwkmd

Mikkie31: It happened in 2008,i was home some place in lagos state and i was bored on this very day so i called a friend of mine who dropped by and we had a little 'guys talk'. He told me about a girl 'Comfy'(she then resided in ibadan) that won't let him go and asked me to help 'detach' her. So he punched in her digit on my phone and myself and comfy got talking. We got so close and we were always sharing pictures(she looked so beautiful in her pictures) so i had in mind i was going to meet a beauty queen. After a few months,we decided to go on a date.

It was on a Saturday and there was something unusual about the weather that day. I could tell the sun was going to be intense so i had myself prepared. I decided to wear something simple but conspicuous cos it was sunny and i wanted to make an impression being our first date. So i set out in the morning,with the weather lending credence to a sunny day.......

After a long ride in a public transport,i finally arrived my destination. Ibadan. The heat was intense,just as the weather in lagos had predicted. Then i called comfy and she directed me to a nearby filling station in ib(i was well familiar with the state),asking me to hang around a little while. While hanging,a series of funny thoughts were running through my mind as i relayed how successful my previous blind dates had been. I was was smiling as lots of people were were passing by,and i could remember adjusting the way i was sitter at the sight of every beautiful women that passed by me. A little over thirty minutes,comfort called,telling me what she's wearing and as i stood up to catch a proper glance at the described lady my jaw dropped.......

Not only was comfy the exact opposite of the pictures she had sent me,she was everything i never wanted in a woman's physique. Reviewing her from a close distance,she had a bigger head,wider eyes and bigger eye balls,larger set of teeth,massive boobs(just the way i didn't like it)and to cap it all she had yam-like hinge legs. I could feel saliva fighting for an open space in my mouth and i was sprunged,paralysed from waist down for a few seconds. And then she came over to where i was standing and said smiling,''hi,u must be Michael." in plain,impeccable English. I replied with a nod....... (brb in a jiffy,got stuffs to do)

Therock5555: Oboy add me for watsapp make we finish dis swit tori

Therock5555: Oboy add me for watsapp make we finish dis swit tori

Ego2: u too like amebo. Where u dey since wey i dey find u

Ceasar1:
Also following..
# Seats besides Her and offers her groundnut .

MadCow1:

Thanks..

I think I will take up your advice. I actually feel like venting my Anger towards Seun, the Biggest Prick on Niairaland for changing my previously unique User I.D from its original form to this ridiculous alphanumeric bullshit that looks more like a Password than a Moniker .

Ceasar1:
Romancella, what's Up?

Romanciella: m good

Ceasar1:

You need some groundnut too?

Romanciella: no thank u

Ceasar1:

Weird Girl..