abeautifulchick:

Am 24,he is 30

6 year gap

Well from what u said and not said
Here is my deduction


You r a trophy babe.
Hes ambitious and needs to make the stash
He loves his network and it seems u r not into his friends
You don't seem to be interested in his hustle or he does not see your value in his hustle.

Summary

Make yourself valuable to him or ur feelings of non-relevance to him will increase and u will become a nag

Else leave him and move on

Sophyrocks:


If you are a man and up till this moment, you dnt know women need attention the same way everyone needs oxygen, then you need to be schooled all over again about women. Lack of attention is another reason women cheat. Take it or leave it.

If you are a woman and up till this moment you don't know that your man cannot give you all the attention you desire just because you desire it, then you need to be schooled from scratch about men. Nagging and unrealistic expectations from wives is a leading cause of men seeking to escape their homes and eventually leads to cheating and fathering children with strange women. But I'm sure you knew that.

FynBabe:
Don't mind them jare. They know but I think they prefer to live in denial.

Let them keep being in denial while women cheat on them. E go be like nollywood movie for their eye.

Sophyrocks:


The distance is much..... he accepted to pick you with your luggages then later told u to get a cab so that he can have fun with his friends. What does that tell you? Actions speak louder than words. Talk to him about this.

I have,he will always apologise thats the problem.

OP what do you mean by attention? As in you guys don't spend time together at all or he is very career/business focused? I am not being funny here but if a man or person is very career/business driven or has certain dreams believe me as a spouse you might have to make certain sacrifices.that is just the hard fact.my mum told me my dad left her at home two days after their wedding on a political campaign that meant she actually rarely saw him for over a week.They later went on honeymoon to 3 countries when I was about 2 years old and left me behind with my grandma My mum knew she was marrying someone with political ambitions right from their courting days and she prepared her mind that he might not always be there due to that ambition.Now I am not saying it was always ideal as i remember late nights,long absences but when he was there the time we spent together formed some of my best childhood memories.My mum knew what she was getting into and I can't really say he was actually not a good father or husband because of the time he spent away pursuing that dream.

My long epistle (sorry OP ) is just pointing to one question 'can you deal with it?' If you can't it's ok just think long and hard about it because it might not get better after marriage.

FynBabe:
Guys, please do not ignore your wife/girlfriend deliberately o! This is how it starts and madam will begin to eye your male domestic staff in your absence. Pickabeau1, I laugh in swahili . I repeat, no woman loves money more than attention!

My dear..have u dated a broke dude before

freshdude2:
If you are a woman and up till this moment you don't know that your man cannot give you all the attention you desire just because you desire it, then you need to be schooled from scratch about men. Nagging and unrealistic expectations from wives is a leading cause of men seeking to escape their homes and eventually leads to cheating and fathering children with strange women. But I'm sure you knew that.

The thread is about the Op, remember? We are not in a gender war here. I am simply stating the facts. Accept it or leave it. Dnt deny any woman attention believing money is everything to her. It is not oooooooooooo. If you give all the money but No attention, get ready for nollywood.

FynBabe:
Guys, please do not ignore your wife/girlfriend deliberately o! This is how it starts and madam will begin to eye your male domestic staff in your absence. Pickabeau1, I laugh in swahili . I repeat, no woman loves money more than attention!

Guys, listen to this nonsense at your own peril....
Chris brown don talk am finish

"When a rich nigga want you
and your nigga can't do nothing for you
these hoês ain't loyal"

most women will rather have a rich and cheating husband than a broke and faithful one that showers them with attention.

why did OP say yes knowing "attention" was a major problem? Answer on a big placard pls... anyone

damiso:
OP what do you mean by attention? As in you guys don't spend time together at all or he is very career/business focused? I am not being funny here but if a man or person is very career/business driven or has certain dreams believe me as a spouse you might have to make certain sacrifices.that is just the hard fact.my mum told me my dad left her at home two days after their wedding on a political campaign that meant she actually rarely saw him for over a week.They later went on honeymoon to 3 countries when I was about 2 years old and left me behind with my grandma My mum knew she was marrying someone with political ambitions right from their courting days and she prepared her mind that he might not always be there due to that ambition.Now I am not saying it was always ideal as i remember late nights,long absences but when he was there the time we spent together formed some of my best childhood memories.My mum knew what she was getting into and I can't really say he was actually not a good father or husband because of the time he spent away pursuing that dream.

My long epistle (sorry OP ) is just pointing to one question 'can you deal with it?' If you can't it's ok just think long and hard about it because it might not get better after marriage.

attention = lounging in bed all day together, reading poems to her 6 times a day, blowing her phone with 100 calls per day.

abeautifulchick:

I have,he will always apologise thats the problem.

My dear, how often does he spend time with you? are you the type that demands a lot financially from him? how often does he spend time with friends? does he take you along for outings?

All I'm saying is that there should be a balance between the two.

pickabeau1:


My dear..have u dated a broke dude before

Sophyrocks:


Any man who considers other matters more important than spending time with his partner should get ready for another man to help him out. Such men end up having unfaithful wives unknown to them. They dnt know this until reality hits them. They forget that women lovvvvvvve attention. Let them keep asking what women want while other men who sabi pass them help them out with their women.

Anyways, a man who loves the company of others more than you as is partner will keep displayin that attitude after marriage. The Op needs to open up more about this.

You're partially right but did you notice that the men who help such women in those situations don't have to spend money?If they had to maintain such illegal relationships with money,they probably wouldn't even have the time to see such women.

pickabeau1:


6 year gap

Well from what u said and not said
Here is my deduction


You r a trophy babe.
Hes ambitious and needs to make the stash
He loves his network and it seems u r not into his friends
You don't seem to be interested in his hustle or he does not see your value in his hustle.

Summary

Make yourself valuableto him or or feelings of non-relavance to him with increase and u will become a nag

Else leave him and move on

Hmm.its difficult but i think i am out of options here.i have sat him down couple of time to discuss this matter but instead he bought me my own car so that i dont have to call him to take me around.i have tried breaking up before now but he went on his knees and begged me not to leave him.i truly love him and i know he loves me so much.Is there no other approach other than leaving him?

coogar:


attention = lounging in bed all day together, reading poems to her 6 times a day, blowing her phone with 100 calls per day.

Coogar let her answer naa

Women are women's enemy. Look at the advise they r giving her. Op if u leave that guy, u go hear am o. This his flaw is nt an excuse. Maybe u want chop the guy nd run b4. As the guy come propose the tin come hang u for neck. Com dey tell us say bicycle jam train. Mtcheew.

BABE3:

Guys, listen to this nonsense at your own peril....

Chris brown don talk am finish

"When a rich nigga want you
and your nigga can't do nothing for you
these hoês ain't loyal"

most women will rather have a rich and cheating husband than a broke and faithful one that showers them with attention.

why did OP say yes knowing "attention" was a major problem? Answer on a big placard pls... anyone

only a rëtarded male would believe such nonsense. every man must have seen or experienced the role money plays in relationships.

women aren't loyal when the money is not flowing. it's the endurance factor that varies. she's ready to dump him at the drop of a hat when his pocket dries up.

coogar:


only a rëtarded male would believe such nonsense. every man must have seen or experienced the role money plays in relationships.

women aren't loyal when the money is not flowing. it's the endurance factor that varies. she's ready to dump him at the drop of a hat when his pocket dries up.

Not to derail coogar but he too can dump her or get a side chic at the sight of an extra pound

coogar:


attention = lounging in bed all day together, reading poems to her 6 times a day, blowing her phone with 100 calls per day.

Coogar, a successful man should know how to manage his time... He should specially make out time for his loved ones, very important. ..

thorpido:
You're partially right but did you notice that the [b]men who help such women in those situations don't have to spend money?[/b]If they had to maintain such illegal relationships with money,they probably wouldn't even have the time to see such women.

Not in all cases. it depends on the type of men women go for or accept to cheat with. If its just roadside men then no spending. If its men who are influential, men who are Exes or past flames, men in work places, forget o. Enough spending and pampering galore.

You men dnt know these things.

Money is not the top priority for most women in a relationship. I don't understand why most guys find it difficult to believe.

BABE3:


Guys, listen to this nonsense at your own peril....
Chris brown don talk am finish

"When a rich nigga want you
and your nigga can't do nothing for you
these hoês ain't loyal"

most women will rather have a rich and cheating husband than a broke and faithful one that showers them with attention.

why did OP say yes knowing "attention" was a major problem? Answer on a big placard pls... anyone

FynBabe:
All I'm saying is that there should be a balance between the two.

Hahhaha...now u r advocating balance I thought u were all about attention not money..


That was an epic fail..Lol



.

abeautifulchick:

Hmm.its difficult but i think i am out of options here.i have sat him down couple of time to discuss this matter but instead he bought me my own car so that i dont have to call him to take me around.i have tried breaking up before now but he went on his knees and begged me not to leave him.i truly love him and i know he loves me so much.Is there no other approach other than leaving him?

I will say it again...

Make yourself relevant to him n not be a trophy chic

Learn about his hustle
Warm to his friends

Orr else let someone else have him

abeautifulchick:

Hmm.its difficult but i think i am out of options here. I have sat him down couple of time to discuss this matter but instead he bought me my own car so that i dont have to call him to take me around. I have tried breaking up before now but he went on his knees and begged me not to leave him.i truly love him and i know he loves me so much.Is there no other approach other than leaving him?

coogar are you seeing this?? her own pasanal car..

this thread has to be fake.

Sophyrocks:



I am simply stating the facts. Accept it or leave it. Dnt deny any woman attention believing money is everything to her. It is not oooooooooooo. If you give all the money but No attention, get ready for nollywood.

You're right, this is not a gender war and I'm not instigating one. What you've stated are your opinion, not fact. You've lost the plot, which is, how realistic and, in your words, factful is this report by the OP? Should this really be an issue? Etc etc

Sophyrocks:


My dear, how often does he spend time with you? are you the type that demands a lot financially from him? how often does he spend time with friends? does he take you along for outings?

The thing is we hang out together attimes but his friends will always appear there and attention will be shifted to them immediately

damiso:

Not to derail coogar but he too can dump her or get a side chic at the sight of an extra pound

and that would be justified.
all kinda illness comes with being fat.

MarvellousGod:

Coogar, a successful man should know how to manage his time... He should specially make out time for his loved ones, very important. ..

a successful man isn't chasing women in his late 20s. if you know how much time successful men have dedicated to their craft, you won't be saying this. there's plenty of hardwork & time involved to succeed in this life.

BABE3:

coogar are you seeing this?? her own pasanal car..
this thread has to be fake.

............or she's the luckiest woman in nigeria. after collecting his car, she's now asking whether to go ahead with marriage plans.

these chics have no loyalty at all.

BABE3:


Guys, listen to this nonsense at your own peril....
Chris brown don talk am finish

"When a rich nigga want you
and your nigga can't do nothing for you
these hoês ain't loyal"

most women will rather have a rich and cheating husband than a broke and faithful one that showers them with attention.

why did OP say yes knowing "attention" was a major problem? Answer on a big placard pls... anyone

Its all about the money money
We don't need your money
It's not about the price tag

MarvellousGod:


Coogar, a successful man should know how to manage his time... He should specially make out time for his loved ones, very important. ..

My dear sucess(which is relative sha) comes at a price and sometimes TIME is a currency that most very successful influential people do not have.Now I am not saying you should not make time for loved ones but in essence the quality of the time with folks like this has to take over from the quantity of time. Ask the spouses of most Fortune 500,FTSE 100 CEO's politicians etc.David Cameron had to cut short a family holiday to call a cobra meeting on British nationals joining ISIS imagine Samantha Cameron whining that he Is not giving her attention cos he cut short a family holiday.Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

damiso:


My dear sucess(which is relative sha) comes at a price and sometimes TIME is a currency that most very successful influential people do not have.Now I am not saying you should not make time for loved ones but in essence the quality of the time with folks like this has to take over from the quantity of time. Ask the spouses of most Fortune 500,FTSE 100 CEO's politicians etc.Dabid Cameron had to cut short a holiday to call a cobra meeting on British nationals joining ISIS imagine Samantha Cameron whining that he Is not giving her attention co she cut shirt a family holiday.Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

cheiii cheiiii cheiiiiii
damiso kicking knowledge as usual......let the cinderella girls keep deceiving themselves and be looking for attention.

abeautifulchick:

The thing is we hang out together attimes but his friends will always appear there and attention will be shifted to them immediately

From your heart of hearts, can you cope with this after marriage? can you stay without the necessary attention from him? can you cope with your fiance spending so much time with his friends? you know this is a part of him that cannot change.

FynBabe:
Money is not the top priority for most women in a relationship. I don't understand why most guys find it difficult to believe.

abeg make we hear word jare.
I understand why girls would say money is not important though; they don't wanna be tagged a gold digger; everyone wants to be 'miss independent'.


you don't have to admit it.

Do you think OP would have said yes if the man was a wheel barrow pusher?

abeautifulchick:

The thing is we hang out together attimes but his friends will always appear there and attention will be shifted to them immediately

I have to be frank with you, you are/will be a burden to that guy because of your unrealistic expectations. You are out with your guy and his friends and you're worried about his attention shifting to his friends? Who says you can't be a part of their conversation or their fun? Haba, what exactly do you want?

You need to grow up or leave him now, for his own good. If a friend of mine wanted to marry someone like you I'd pray he doesn't. No hard feelings, just the truth.

okotv:
sorry to say this but I think you are not yet ready for that big step....

I am.its just that i need maximum attention from him