freshdude2:
You're right, this is not a gender war and I'm not instigating one. What you've stated are your opinion, not fact. You've lost the plot, which is, how realistic and, in your words, factful is this report by the OP? Should this really be an issue? Etc etc

abeautifulchick:

I am.its just that i need maximum attention from him

BABE3:


abeg make we hear word jare.
I understand why girls would say money is not important though; they don't wanna be tagged a gold digger; everyone wants to be 'miss independent'.


you don't have to admit it.

Do you think OP would have said yes if the man was a wheel barrow pusher?

abeautifulchick:

Pls stop all this.I am a graduate and i am working in a multi national company.i can afford some of the things he gives to me.so money is not the issue here.

coogar:


[img]htp://www.4thletter.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/laughter.gif[/img]

coogar:

so you would advise a woman to marry a jobless guy with no ambition or career that drives him but he's ready to give 1000% attention?

coogar:


cheiii cheiiii cheiiiiii
damiso kicking knowledge as usual......let the cinderella girls keep deceiving themselves and be looking for attention.

damiso:

Nothing wrong with attention naa .Some girls do not necessarily want money,power etc some don't mind a modest lifestyle,sharing one car etc if it means they get to spend more time with their spouse.

In other words,know what you want.Dont marry or date a fiercely driven person(some women are too) and start whining about attention.apart from driven some people's line of work need it .even we the children knew that daddy goes to island club every Friday night.we could be eating dinner and next thing he has to go to Abuja for 2 days.Funny enough my hubby is direct oppodite because in a way I knew I was not like my mum.If my hubby is not at work or studying or hanging out(very rarely) he is at home and we are doing stuff together.Deep down I don't think I could have coped with that my parents lifestyle.then again we even live in a different environment.

abeautifulchick:

Pls stop all this.I am a graduate and i am working in a multi national company.i can afford some of the things he gives to me.so money is not the issue here.

abeautifulchick:

and said i should pick a cab just because he was busy hanging out with his friends. But he gives me almost anything i asked for financially.

BABE3:

what does the highlighted mean? Why did you feel the need to put in that piece of information?

As a 'miss independent' that works in a multi national company, what are you asking for again? Brazilian hair? Are you a beggar?

abeautifulchick:

coogar:


the thread is most likely a fake story but let's pretend she's real. i am being entertained here, ain't you?

abeautifulchick:

Hmm.its difficult but i think i am out of options here.i have sat him down couple of time to discuss this matter but instead he bought me my own car so that i dont have to call him to take me around.i have tried breaking up before now but he went on his knees and begged me not to leave him.i truly love him and i know he loves me so much.Is there no other approach other than leaving him?

pickabeau1:


My dear..have u dated a broke dude before

Floodgater:
Your problem is not that you want attension but that you want to be more important than any biz or friend which is very right so dont let attension talks shift you off focus. If you occupy that important placement you crave you will still let him do biz/have friends yet be considered first before he makes decision. Now do you have the liver to tell him to hold on with the wedding say 6months that you want to see him change the change he talked about for real and sure? Know that he can move to another gal but if he waits then know he loves you, can and be willing to change, only adhere to the time frame even when there changes and be VERY SURE the change is real. The ish if you go ahead is that he will choose his friends opinion's over yours in running the home and you can not stop bad friends that may corrupt his good manners or save him from bad biz. Come on the doubts you have are not borne out of ordinary fears they are warning signals which should not be taken lightly. BTW what are the other issues he has?

coogar:


so you would advise a woman to marry a jobless guy with no ambition or career that drives him but he's ready to give 1000% attention?

Amelian:


ortunity to date a BROKE guy or Stingy Guy. ... u wont even ask anybody, whether dis one, u have is a husband material or not...u will grab him and guard him jealously with everything u av... he spends on you, financially without splitting bills with you, u r there having second thots....
let other ladies or some married women tell u what they are going through with their husband... u will shout halleluyah, with your own man.

u still young... 24? .....not much experience with guys... my dear, erase 2nd thots and be grateful he takes care of his responsibility without asking u for a penny.

happy married life in advance.... be wise... marriage is not Mills and Boons

damiso:


Coogaarrr. did I say that now.that was why I asked what is attention sef? If you spend all your time together however go pay bills na? Most naija guys that I know don't even want to marry a jobless girl talkless of a guy? But ambition is relative like I always say.let me give an example two doctors one is content being a GP and is home by 7pm most week nights he is not poor but might not be as loaded or as revered as the consultant neurologist who is working long hours with research scientists to formulate ground breaking surgical techniques. Sometimes sef time spent away pursuing a dream might not even translate to hard cold cash.

MizMyColi:

Your partner is a Thinker, You're a Feeler. In most cases, matches like that?
Not advisable.
But then, all that is needed to make a relationship work is two mature minds.
Feelers et thinkers or not

Abeautifulchick, I feel your pain, especially seeing as I've been there.

I let go, yes. But that's not saying you should too, in the end, it'll be your call to make.

Unlike our thinking female counterparts, feeling females have this need for extra attention. It takes a man of insight and deep understanding to know and accept this.

Virtually all the guys and some females on this thread are making you feel like you're shitty, like you don't have a life of your own........but I think I understand you. You want attention yes, but you don't want him abandoning and loosing sight of himself because he loves you.
More than financial security, you desire emotional security
Any guy who gives you that has won your fierce loyalty for life.

You just wanna feel like you matter to him. That you're also a priority in his life. You want him to let you in, in on his world.......you don't mind adjusting, you don't mind living for him.
But then, more oft than not, it feels like He's shutting you out.
Albeit unknowingly on his part.


My dear, please follow your heart.

It all depends on you, I repeat.









In other news, please remind me while saying my night prayers, to pray, not to marry the kind of guys who have prominently featured on this thread
SCARY!

They may be good for other ladies, not me and vice versa.

BABE3:




what does the highlighted mean? Why did you feel the need to put in that piece of information?

As a 'miss independent' that works in a multi national company, what are you asking for again? Brazillian hair? Are you a beggar?

coogar:


and this is where fulfilment comes into the equation. some men feel fulfilled working long hours, bending their heads on a research & looking for the next ground-breaking invention.

pickabeau1:
For those typecasting guys based on comments on this thread
I wish y'all the best in your search for attention and emotional security

Come back in 5 years time

damiso:

We are saying the same thing.are you now saying the GP is jobless or lacks ambition? He does but his ambition might not necessarily require long back breaking hours.

Are you not earning £500 a day? the other day you were looking to check out of work at 5pm 5 pm coogar when your mates are sleeping in the office

BABE3:


2 years is all they need. After the honeymoon phase; when attention becomes useless.

Buncha Disney girls.

I don't even fault some guys for not giving the attention. A good number of girls have nothing upstairs apart from brazillian hair and telemundo. Why won't they prefer to spend time with their friends, when their gfs can't even hold intelligent conversations?

coogar:


the thread is most likely a fake story but let's pretend she's real. i am being entertained here, ain't you?

abeautifulchick:

You are really sounding immature now.This is my boyfriend,my best friend,my confidant,we share everything together,he knows my needs even before i ask and he always fix it and i offer my best support when he is in need also.most men especially rich ones feel insecure when their working class girlfriends dont ask for anything,he even bought me a car when i dint ask for it and its only natural that i acknowledge it and appreciate him.IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT TRULLY LOVES AND APPRECIATE YOU,YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.I only came online because i needed advice and not to insult or be insulted by anybody.PLS BE GUILDED.If you check my handle ,you will see that i have always been an inactive nairalander.Thanks.

Amelian:





correct babe, pickabeau.
op, if uv had the opportunity to date a BROKE guy or Stingy Guy. ... u wont even ask anybody, whether dis one, u have is a husband material or not...u will grab him and guard him jealously with everything u av... he spends on you, financially without splitting bills with you, u r there having second thots....
let other ladies or some married women tell u what they are going through with their husband... u will shout halleluyah, with your own man.

u still young... 24? .....not much experience with guys... my dear, erase 2nd thots and be grateful he takes care of his responsibility without asking u for a penny.

happy married life in advance.... be wise... marriage is not Mills and Boons

BABE3:

2 years is all they need. After the honeymoon phase; when attention becomes useless.
Buncha Disney girls.

I don't even fault some guys for not giving the attention. A good number of girls have nothing upstairs apart from brazillian hair and telemundo. Why won't they prefer to spend time with their friends, when their gfs can't even hold intelligent conversations?