I have noticed that a woman is mostly expected to suffer before she is referred to as a good wife or sweet mother.
The story or picture of a sweet mother is usually one who suffers so much for so long.

One funny thing is that any technological innovation that aims to make womens life easier is strongly resisted and women who use these called lazy.

Funny thing those complaining will always rush technological gadgets like they phones they use to comment. They will use calculator instead of calculating with their brains yet it doesnt make them lazy. They will have the newest cars, instead of bicycles or treking like their likewise hard working fathers and ancestors. They will use clippers instead of razor as used by grandfathers, they will wear all the desinger wriat watches instead of standing under the sun to check time. They will eat processed food and meat unstead of going to farm for food, hunt for it or fish like their own fathers did.
Here are some most resisted technological innovations

1. Yam pounder: lazy women cant pound common yam for 4 people they cant pound. My mother used to pound for all 3 wives and 38 children without getting tired.

Gas cooker: lazy women, what happened to firewood. Our mothers went 10 kilometres to get firewood yet you want me to spend 4 k every month on gas.

Washing machine: how many clothes are you washing self? My mother had 9 kids and handwashed all their ckothes in the stream

Epidural: this is the height of laziness, if my mother can have 10 kids at home on her own why cant you push out 4 by yourself?

Dish washer: why did i marry you? What will you be doing while machine is washing plates for you?

You forgot to add internet.

Why waste so much time there.

Not sure why you have created this thread. Is this supposed to be another man bashing thread or are you mocking the suffering of Nigerians in general. Do you really feel the average Nigerian family can very easily afford these gadgets.

There are lots of people who can afford to buy these but I'm not sure they are the majority of Nigerians. You need to travel round Nigeria more.

Lastly, a woman can also buy these things herself, afterall women, and men are equally educated these days. So why wait for a man to buy for her?

Nashville:
Not sure why you have created this thread. Is this supposed to be another man bashing thread or are you mocking the suffering of Nigerians in general. Do you really feel the average Nigerian family can very easily afford these gadgets.
There are lots of people who can afford to buy these but I'm not sure they are the majority of Nigerians. You need to travel round Nigeria more.
Lastly, a woman can also buy these things herself, afterall women, and men are equally educated these days. So why wait for a man to but for her? Remember equality.

Oga calm down, am not a man basher, never been, never will be, i love my men.
This isnt about those who cant afford it but those who can and who can get modern gadgets yet equate every technological device invented to give women some relief as a laziness inducive device.
I have heard this discussions and read them here too. And there is no generalisation so it cant be man bashing na.

The aim of this thread? Just wondering aloud, I know you havent forgiven me after misinterpreting my veuws on the mourning cheating husbands thread despite my clarification over and over hence the man bashing tag. Lol, I am actually a men defender because I know and see so many good men hence i always highlight it but as much as we highlight the good we must address the bad

When one thinks of a good African wife, one portrays a hardworking diligent woman. A woman who takes care of her household while the man is out at work. This woman wakes up early in the morning to make sure the kids go to school in time and the meals are prepared for the family as at when due. A woman that does all these is loved and respected by her husband and he will go the extra mile for her to make her happy.


Not so the 'modern' woman. All she wants to do is chat on the internet all day long , shopping for irrelevancies like shoes and handbags when she has a whole closet of them already. She goes to sleep late because she was watching 'telemundo' late into the night and then complains when her husband wakes her up in the morning to tend to the kids while he prepare for work. She can't cook, she can't clean, she can't even wash her own clothes. Such a woman will always demand d for respect because none will be willingly given to her.


There is nothing wrong in using gadgets to help reduce the stress of everyday life. However some of them are just going to make the lazy woman lazier. Personally I hate the yam pounder but then again its the men in my household that pound the yam so that doesn't count. The washing machine is necessary especially when kids come into the picture. The dishwasher is pure rubbish, haba, how many plates are in the sink that you need a machine to wash it for you? You don't need it unless you are running a restaurant. Epidural is dangerous. I have seen three women that have come off with complications to either themselves or the baby afterwards. And it is mega-expensive, avoid it if you can or kukuma do c/s. And as for the gas-cooker, nothing wrong with it if you can afford it.

The funny thing is that lazy wives will still ask for assistance even after the husband provides all these things for her. You hear her saying 'honey, how was work? Pls fill the washing machine for me, its time for gulder ultimate search and you know I don't miss it.'

A good African wife= Respect.
A lazy African wife = suffering.

Shebi super sports no dey make men lazy hehehehehe. Hi kettle

aisha2:
Shebi super sports no dey make men lazy hehehehehe. Hi kettle

If you start comparing bad habits you won't get honest responses. I for one do not watch supersport and the guys I know who do don't watch it at the detriment of their family duties.
Hello pot

And besides, watching TV doesn't make u lazy, its the amount of time you spend in front of it.

5minsmadness:

If you start comparing bad habits you won't get honest responses. I for one do not watch supersport and the guys I know who do don't watch it at the detriment of their family duties.
Hello pot

5minsmadness:
And besides, watching TV doesn't make u lazy, its the amount of time you spend in front of it.

True that. Too much of everything is bad. Manage your time and energy wisely thats the key

5minsmadness:


The funny thing is that lazy wives will still ask for assistance even after the husband provides all these things for her. You hear her saying 'honey, how was work? Pls fill the washing machine for me, its time for gulder ultimate search and you know I don't miss it.'

I personally don't like the idea of a dish washer, I mean how many are the plates you want to wash in your home that requires a machine?

That said, it's a relief to have some of these machine as nobody be jaky, I for one will not use work to murder myself in the name of wanting to be called a good wife, still, there are some things I love to do the old way, like I go to the market and see some women having their veggies sliced for them there, I love to do those myself, makes me feel like I took my time to prepare the food.

The epidural one is basically one fuelled by the fact that some women claim to start having persistent back aches after having it.


I remember my mum using heaven and earth to beg me not to have an epidural me wey I be pain phobe(even ordinary piercing second ear hole I no fit do) I sha wanted one until my midwife booked me in for hypno birthing classes as well giving me the option for water birth but unfortunately for me everything in my birth plan flew out of the window when the actual day came.With my second I no even get any plan just one word-EPIDURAL. ;DUnfortunately or fortunately baby had his own plans and was I was 10cm dilated by the time I got to the hospital (almost had him on the road sef).

Maybe because I was raised by a mother that did everything to make life easy for herself I don't think I have the 'suffering' gene in my DNA

My mum was the first wife in my dad's family who negated the whole wives must do the cooking at sallah and family parties ish. she told them cooking with wood gives her itchy eyes and She simply solved the problem by sending 4 agoin cooks to my grandparents on Sallah day.I heard she and my grandmother initially clashed but with time there was mutual respect as my dad too believed in contracting out mundane things.The agoin cooks food is even more delicious in my opinion so why must the 'wives' be the ones to slave all day when people can be paid to do it?

Upiantu!
This one pass me o!
Breeze out!

damiso:
The epidural one is basically one fuelled by the fact that some women claim to start having persistent back aches after having it.


I remember my mum using heaven and earth to beg me not to have an epidural me wey I be pain phobe(even ordinary piercing second ear hole I no fit do) I sha wanted one until my midwife booked me in for hypno birthing classes as well giving me the option for water birth but unfortunately for me everything in my birth plan flew out of the window when the actual day came.With my second I no even get any plan just one word-EPIDURAL. ;DUnfortunately or fortunately baby had his own plans and was I was 10cm dilated by the time I got to the hospital (almost had him on the road sef).

Maybe because I was raised by a mother that did everything to make life easy for herself I don't think I have the 'suffering' gene in my DNA

My mum was the first wife in my dad's family who negated the whole wives must do the cooking at sallah and family parties ish. she told them cooking with wood gives her itchy eyes and She simply solved the problem by sending 4 agoin cooks to my grandparents on Sallah day.I heard she and my grandmother initially clashed but with time there was mutual respect as my dad too believed in contracting out mundane things.The agoin cooks food is even more delicious in my opinion so why must the 'wives' be the ones to slave all day when people can be paid to do it?

Reninds me of a friends sisters wedding. The brides family asked that they should all pull resources together and hire caterers the grooms family went bonkers screaming and questioning what lazy family their son was marrying into.

Wedding day came the brides family had made their arrangements and were looking great and rested while grooms family members didnt make it to church barely made it to reception, tired and worn out, funny thing us that the members of the grooms family rejected their own home cooked meal and rushed the caterers well presented laid out dishes as opposed to the smoked filled one side cooked one side half done rice which they woke up at 3 am to make infact even the women who cooked were struggling to get to the caterers food thank God the brides family made extra arrangements, very funny. One of the bride sisters then insisted that the women wont eat their " lazy food" omo see begging.

aisha2:


Reninds me of a friends sisters wedding. The brides family asked that they should all pull resources together and hire caterers the grooms family went bonkers screaming and questioning what lazy family their son was marrying into.

Wedding day came the brides family had made their arrangements and were looking great and rested whike grooms famiky members didnt make it to church barely made it to reception, tired and worn out, funny thing us that the members of the grooms family rejected their own home cooked meal and rushed the caterers well presented laid out dishes as opposed to the smoked filled one side cooked one side half done rice which they woke up at 3 am to make infact even the women who cooked were struggling to get to the caterers food thank God the brides family made extra arrangements, very funny. One of the bride sisters then insisted that the women wont eat their " lazy food" omo see begging.

at lazy family

One thing I will add though is it's easier to make life easier for the family when you also contribute to the family finances .If the family income can only afford the bare basics especially if you are not earning (due to choice or maybe inability to get a job/income)pls don't moan and compare yourself to another person or family where the woman probably bought the washing machine herself.I am a strong believer in making do with what's available while working towards the preferred.

I hear some girls say 'he must have this this and this in his apartment before we can think marriage' and I think that's just a bit rich especially as they might not have even contributed one bit to setting up of the said apartment.

aisha2:


Oga calm down, am not a man basher, never been, never will be, i love my men.
This isnt about those who cant afford it but those who can and who can get modern gadgets yet equate every technological device invented to give women some relief as a laziness inducive device.
I have heard this discussions and read them here too. And there is no generalisation so it cant be man bashing na.

The aim of this thread? Just wondering aloud, I know you havent forgiven me after misinterpreting my veuws on the mourning cheating husbands thread despite my clarification over and over hence the man bashing tag. Lol, I am actually a men defender because I know and see so many good men hence i always highlight it but as much as we highlight the good we must address the bad

I consider you one of the very mature people on this section (even from your previous moniker) so I am quite surprised when you talk about "forgiveness" from another thread. I remember the thread but I cant remember who said what? I respond to comments and not to people; so I dont keep tabs of who said what on a thread.

Back to the topic. I was just trying to give you some idea of what people are going through in Nigeria - not by choice, or a wicked husband; but the unfortunate situations they find themselves. One of my biggest issues with "9ja boys" is that they are generally big spenders. In fact they overspend and some even borrow sef to buy cars, gadgets etc. So I would be very surprised to see a guy who drives a prado or range and yet his wife does not have a gas cooker. I havent seen one. One the contrary, some of the ones I know will pay for a househelp to go with them on a family vacation. Several families have come to visit us and they had house helps come with them. I will not suggest they are lazy, I probably will do the same if I could easily afford it. Denying our women material goods is very unafrican and I can say that anywhere.

But most Nigerians dont have that type of lifestyle I just described. Imagine a man who earns 150,00 naira (and that is a decent salary); then his wife says she needs a dishwasher of 70,000 naira. Lets even assume that they can save towards it, the bigger issue is that they haven't had electricity for three weeks, and the small generator cannot power a dishwater. So they would need a bigger generator too. My point is that most of those people you see suffering; aint really by choice, neither is it because they have wicked husbands; 95% of these women just cannot afford these gadgets.

And when you talk about epidural; birthing method is different for every woman. Less than half of women in the US use epidural and its not because they have wicked husbands who think they are lazy. Many women in the UK choose to give birth at home. And in Nigeria, birthing methods are rooted in deep cultural practises. You need to travel more to northern Nigeria and see how women give birth.

If giving you an honest opinion of why people are suffering doesnt go down well with you, I'm very happy to stay of your thread.

That is the Nigerian context of a good african wife, a good wife material. she must be willing to put her life on the line for the sake of her family, most of the time for her husband. she must be willing to swallow all sorts of stds, must be willing to go through emotional stress for long periods using prayer as an antidote for any problem. The longer the stress, the more stronger and virtuous she is seen to be. My people, did the bible ever describe a virtuous woman as one who suffers? Is God in supporrt of the suffering of humans?

She must be willing to be a deaf and dumb woman somewhat equivalent to a puppet or baby doll. Yet She must still be the one to hold the family together no matter what (now you wonder where the function of the so called 'Head' of family comes in). She must break her back and go through all sorts of iniquities so that she can be viewed as a 'wife material'. To the average nigerian, Marriage is pain, pain is love. That is why you see mentally unstable men who deliberately make their wives and even children, suffer. Sometimes it is done to prove a point. Such men believe that since their mothers suffered in the hands of their fathers, therefore, their wives must suffer. that is why you hear statements like "Our mothers went through this or that, why can't you go through the same"? Always comparing women with their mothers. My people, can two people from different backgrounds ever be alike? is it possible for two generations that are apart to be simiilar in choices and orientations?

After going through all these stress and tribulations, she is still expected not to change physically but to remain a sweet 16 and her s*e*x*ual prowess in bed must be top notch. My people, is this ever possible?

damiso:



at lazy family

One thing I will add though is it's easier to make life easier for the family when you also contribute to the family finances .If the family income can only afford the bare basics especially if you are not earning (due to choice or maybe inability to get a job/income)pls don't moan and compare yourself to another person or family where the woman probably bought the washing machine herself.I am a strong believer in making do with what's available while working towards the preferred.

I hear some girls say 'he must have this this and this in his apartment before we can think marriage' and I think that's just a bit rich especially as they might not have even contributed one bit to setting up of the said apartment.

True that.

I had an epidural as i had a very difficult labour all because i was trying to do "hebrew woman" rubbish bearing in mind this was a very difficult pregnancy from day 1. I suffered with Severe Hyperemesis and was constantly admitted in hospital. Then i was overdue and the doc's recommended CS. My mum, hubby & pastor were all talking their own and i followed their talk, ended up with major complications after birth.
Those complications began before i even had the epidural but i can tell you this, the epidural was the best pain relief ever
I had gas & air, then 2 doses of diamorphine injections then an anesthetist came and administered the epidural in my spinal cord
It took all the pain away completely!!! the only thing i felt was discomfort and pressure to push around my pelvic. I even had an episiotomy yet didnt need pain relief for that because of the epidural
Side effects are, drowsiness.
Would i have an epidural again? Absolutely yes. As long as you have the right team with you then you are good to go.

Nashville:

I consider you one of the very mature people on this section (even from your previous moniker) so I am quite surprised when you talk about "forgiveness" from another thread. I remember the thread but I cant remember who said what? I respond to comments and not to people; so I dont keep tabs of who said what on a thread.
Back to the topic. I was just trying to give you some idea of what people are going through in Nigeria - not by choice, or a wicked husband; but the unfortunate situations they find themselves. One of my biggest issues with "9ja boys" is that they are generally big spenders. In fact they overspend and some even borrow sef to buy cars, gadgets etc. So I would be very surprised to see a guy who drives a prado or range and yet his wife does not have a gas cooker. I havent seen one. One the contrary, some of the ones I know will pay for a househelp to go with them on a family vacation. Several families have come to visit us and they had house helps come with them. I will not suggest they are lazy, I probably will do the same if I could easily afford it. Denying our women material goods is very unafrican and I can say that anywhere.
But most Nigerians dont have that type of lifestyle I just described. Imagine a man who earns 150,00 naira (and that is a decent salary); then his wife says she needs a dishwasher of 70,000 naira. Lets even assume that they can save towards it, the bigger issue is that they haven't had electricity for three weeks, and the small generator cannot power a dishwater. So they would need a bigger generator too. My point is that most of those people you see suffering; aint really by choice, neither is it because they have wicked husbands; 95% of these women just cannot afford these gadgets.
And when you talk about epidural; birthing method is different for every woman. Less than half of women in the US use epidural and its not because they have wicked husbands who think they are lazy. Many women in the UK choose to give birth at home. And in Nigeria, birthing methods are rooted in deep cultural practises. You need to travel more to northern Nigeria and see how women give birth.
If giving you an honest opinion of why people are suffering doesnt go down well with you, I'm very happy to stay of your thread.

My apologies for the previous reference. However, i beg to differ, i am not talking about suffering people i have seen men who will buy the latest gadgets yet hold on to archaic views even when their wives can afford it themselves the women have to do strong head and buy the items themselves and meet strong resistance from their husbands who insist of doing it the local way.

I respect hard work so saying i look on suffering is not what am doing

Most husbands like that are really the money miss roads and ancientic 1500s' husbands

I agree with Nashville that most people who do not have the gadgets cannot afford them but my issue would be with the husband not helping.

Don't mind what most people say online joor

I will wholeheartedly answer to " The lazy Wife",than be a depiction of the African version of good wife.

aisha2:


My apologies for the previous reference. However, i beg to differ, i am not talking about suffering people i have seen men who will buy the latest gadgets yet hold on to archaic views even when their wives can afford it themselves the women have to do strong head and buy the items themselves and meet strong resistance from their husbands who insist of doing it the local way.

I was going to say what Oga Nash did but let me add. In the case of those men who can afford these things and refuse to, I'd say ignorance rather than wickedness is the motive for their actions. They are archaic and need to be brought up to speed I don't know anyone who'd want to be wicked to his wife.

@freshdud2, so many of them out there, so many of them.
One refused to carry his son(son he has been killing d wife for.as if to say wifey produces baby sex)when wife wanted to start biz again just for a sat so she can equip her shop after pregnancy and omugwo thing.

That she should get baby carrier ,enter public transport to balogun(he has a car).

Very wicked man.
Even d day i went to see baby, on his arrival,see the very cold welcome he gave me. I quietly knew it was time to take my leave.
Wifey called later to apologize. Said she brought it up and he dismissed it, not until wifey told him i gave baby a very surprising gift did he start mumbling sorry. Pls call her and tell her i didnt see her(lol)

So yes, many(not generalising) r doing that.

Really though, who enjoys eating pounded yam made by a yam pounder?
If manually pounding yam is too much work, then stick to those chemical powdered flours in the category of semolina.

Gas cooker? Are there even people who think this isn't a necessity, apart from rural settlers maybe?
This must have been an exaggeration.

Washing machine - Necessary if really needed...luckily there are cheap/affordable ones without the automated control of the more expensive brands.

Epidural? Personal choice to avoid pain, can't fault this.

Dish washer - Absolutely unnecessary, unless that home is run like a medium-scale restaurant feeding at least 30 people in one sitting.
Only seen as important by them fancy high-maintenance wives with finger nails as long as their hair

Nawa o. I hope hubby doesn't like pounded yam sha

UjSizzle:
Nawa o. I hope hubby doesn't like pounded yam sha

I do and it must be pounded before 7am

Lol @Sophyrocks, the list keeps growing These men want super women.

jaybee3:

I do and it must be pounded before 7am

*ties wrapper and walks back to the kitchen*

How can one open leg to a man who dey panel beat her?
I mean, how do they do it?

I dont know if i should blame culture or religion or both for d woe that befall women in this part of d world
Beating a pregnant woman?
Im not surprised. My cousin beat his own to stupor(8months)bc of his mom.
Wifey fainted and mama left her and went out. Though that episode reset d guy's head sharp sharp.