VickyyB:
I will have my own money and date broke guys.
It means he has to be submissive to me.

Tallesty1:
I'm not trying to encourage women to be gold diggers nor write broke guys off as useless.

This is just an advice from a guy who have tasted both sides and found that a broke guy who is in relationship is not being true to himself.

To be honest, most of what we have heard about relationship are unfounded. Nobody will love you for who you are when you don't have shi shi. That's just the truth.

Even the independent ladies who don’t want your money will want someone who’s settled in their life. For them, finding a partner is about finding someone who fits into their lifestyle and plans for the future. That includes things that cost money.

1. You are not ready for it.
You may want it but honestly you don't need it. You need to be thinking of a master plan. You need to re-prioritize your life and get busy with something. Anybody who is having some major financial struggles needs to be focused on getting that together, not dating. get your act together THEN date.

2. You Ego Will Be Bruised Money does matter in our society, way too much. A person's ability to eat and look good and get medicine in time of need and take care of your woman are the things that makes one a man. Think about it, she called you on phone and asked for money and you gave her the same answer. "I no get". Then you found out much later that she somehow got the money. You ask and was told that she got it from another guy. Your heart is darned if he is one of her admirers that you are aware of.

3. It Is A Distraction A broke guy needs all the time in the world alone to sort out things and having a woman who will add some few loads to his already bent shoulder will do him no good. Don't tell me he needs a woman's support because a good female friend supports one more than his girlfriend. You don't need that extra load.

4. You Will Be Cheated On You read me right. Girls have the habit of getting bored of things quickly, this is due to who they are, which is coupled with the pressures of society. Society always wants them to get the newest and latest thing, so one day she will get tired of hoping and waiting and accept that guy who has been disturbing her. She may not tell you about it because she wouldn't want to hurt you so you end up being cheated on.

5. You Will Be FriendsZoned She likes you but cannot continue to date you because you cannot take care of her needs. So she would friendzone you in other not to lose you completely. At least there is something you are good at and she will keep your friendship because of that. Women are smart walahi

6. She Won't Feel Loved Since traditionally men are the ones that pay for dates, it is impossible then to prove your love when there is no shi shi. How can you surprise her? How can you take her out on a date or buy her gifts? How can you say you love her when she cannot rely on you when she is broke?

7. You Will Be Dumped Not because she doesn't love you but because You are not the right material for a woman who has marriage and raising a family in her agenda. You may be lucky to get someone who will stand by you but a goal without a deadline is just a dream. She will eventually get tired of hoping and give up. Your ass will be dumped. Sorry

I know that all people deserve to be loved no matter who or what they are but money is very important in every relationship so I think a man that cannot afford to date needs to wait

Hedybee:


hmm... Y would a guy be broke for 7yrs, i mean Y would i be dating for 7yrs

ihedinobi2:

This is the typical cynic's point of view. From this point of view it is hard to see men as being anything more than their bank accounts and job titles or women as anything more than their face and curves.

If the truth is told though, we all know that there is more to that picture and people do indeed love others for so much more than how the figures read on a bank statement or how their body is shaped.

And, frankly, no sensible broke guy would date an independent lady. The reason is self-evident. If you don't have a reason to fight hard, you don't.




Quite untrue. I used to think this. There were two reasons. One was that I had a girl that meant the world to me and she wanted to get married, so the pressure was on. The pressure didn't end up breaking us up. What did was the fact that I could not carry her along in what I was doing. And it had been that way throughout our relationship. Communication between us was very poor and it hurt like hell and distracted me like kilode. When we broke up though I was so hurt that I blamed it on being broke. What can I say? A guy who for one reason or another finds himself without a woman he wants is not at his best intellectually.

The second was that I found an incredible girl. I had never connected with someone that powerfully before. But I got shot down (or something) when I made a move. And I blamed it on being broke too.

But the truth is, whatever the plan you make, without the right resources you might as well not bother with the mental exertion. And a woman you care about is so the right resource.




I feel bad to be called a man if those things are what make me a man. I mean, if all I'm good for is all that I might as well be a woman. Women have just as much potential to get food, look good and take care of someone else that it makes no sense that they can't be called men too.

But I know that there's more. Here's what makes a man: leadership.


I totally agree. I know by experience what it is like to need to focus with such sharpness. But I disagree that a woman will necessarily throw off the focus. If that is the case, marriage is a bad idea because if bad things happen, like you lose a critical job or a business fails or investments suddenly go to the dogs then having a family at the same time will simply kill you too.

But we know that people go through hell and make it out because of the people that are leaning on them.

A good female friend? Lol. Na una know o. I don't know any female friend I have that is not as much a potential distraction as any girlfriend I've had.


I will put this bluntly: this is terrible bullshït. This is why even decent girls start wondering if they are being hypocritical for resisting the urges that rise within them. What nonsense is this? A woman who is worth anything knows that the one thing that life does not ever negotiate is the need to work. Her work will be to stand by her man and inspire him continually to beat the odds stacked against him. And you tell me that because some foölish girls think that they were created to sit on clouds and wash their feet in honey and have angels wipe their bum when they take a shït every girl will cheat? Errant nonsense!

A woman is wired to stick by a fighting man. It is how she was designed. The woman who won't stick with a fighting man is a serious marriage hazard and most definitely not the normal.


I have a few who think telling me routinely that they can't marry me is some cool thing to do. I don't actually even think about marrying them. But I learned way back in my teenage years that that was simply the girl trying to remind herself not to fall in love because the guy she fancied was some kind of risk. And a few who said that to me ended up my girlfriend.

I wouldn't think too much about the friendzone. After all, when I like a girl I chase her. Those "friendzoning" ones are the ones who still check in to see what's up with me. I don't do any checking in because I have a stuffed brain. So, dude out there, don't stress yourself about the friendzone. Be cool and hang on to your cõjones, no matter what.


Oh I can. I always have and she always got the memo.

Seriously, this is insensible. Where on earth did you find that masculinity = money?




Here's the funny: I was broke and I had a girl, a darn beauty. Mehn, you need to see the babe. When she visited me at uni once, my lodge mates went I'm not making an empty boast. That girl use fine find trouble. And I didn't even really notice how beautiful she was in other people's eyes. I just thought she was a cutie and that I could trust her with my home and raising my kids even if I couldn't trust her with my plans for my life because she didn't seem to care that much about them. When we broke up, I did the breaking up. And I was still broke as kini!

Please, bro, this is simply not true.




Money is important. It's a language if exchange for commodities. But it is not nearly that important. The most important thing in the world to any given person is why they exist in the first place. And I guarantee you that there has never been, is currently not, and will never be a human being in this world who was created for the purpose of making money. NONE. Take that to the bank.




@Tallesty1, bro, if you knew how much you are respected on this forum and admired, you'd be a little more restrained about saying some things. This whole thread has done terrible damage just now. Broke guys need their women because those women are the inspiration they have to keep fighting the odds and the comfort they have when they are taking punches. A broke guy without a woman is a terror. Believe me. I know what it is like to feel like it's just you against the world and that even your friends would be disappointed in you if they only knew. Just one person who actually knows and whose life is tied up with the whole thing but who digs in alongside you and fights on anyway makes you feel like you've everything to lose and everything to gain.

This was a cynic's thread. And cynicism is never healthy.

VickyyB:
I will have my own money and date broke guys.
It means he has to be submissive to me.

chimerase2:
And 99% ardent romance niggas in nairaland re broke - obasanjo et al, 1993

VivaLaFrans:
OP but when u mind ur business, as in respect yourself for being broke, some people will think you're a misogynist.

kristina1:
God bless dis op.
Without money,a relationship MAY NOT stand.

VickyyB:
I will have my own money and date broke guys.
It means he has to be submissive to me.

VickyyB:

If because a girl love you for money make her a bìtch, then?

Bìtch- female dog

You are having sex with a bìtch, and that makes?

Hedybee:

What i meant was that, 7yrs is too much for doing just 'dating'. E reach mek we settle down na

Tallesty1:
Owk I gotcha, thanks.

But I think you misconstrued the main message I was trynna pass across to broke guys through the post.

First, what I wrote up there was not a lady's perspective, if it was then you would be right to say that I was wrong.

The second paragraph said that "It was just an advice from a guy who had tasted both sides".

Can you make a man unsee what he has seen?

I dated when I was broke, it delayed me alot and my brokenness cause a serious imbalance on the relationship.

That said, you used your own story as an example, let's agree that you are one of the luck few who were blessed with the right lady.

So what you posted up there was inspired by your own dating experience and I also posted from what I had seen.

Don't you think it is wrong then to say that mine was wrong? When we were both posting from experience?

Back to the message I was passing across. I never in any of the points say that "Broke guys do not deserve love" and I was not encouraging women to stop dating broke guys.

What I wrote up there was just an advice to broke guys to let them know that they should focus on building their life and future instead of dating because the woman is more likely to leave him if things didn't get better

The probability of getting a good girlfriend as it is now is one in 200. It is very lean and not worth the stress.

Your message was well understood and I thank you for it but somebody got something wrong somewhere. Thanks.

kristina1:
God bless dis op.
Without money,a relationship MAY NOT stand.

SpaceWorld2013:

This is inspiration. Thanks s lot for this intelligent write up

micki83:
Tallesty, I think some people can love u even when u're broke. The important thing is: do u have potentials? Do u have a good personality?
Many people are materialistic,true, but not everybody. What would u say about couples who dated while poor, and still got married while poor?(Not an ideal situation,but e dey happen).

micki83:
Tallesty, I think some people can love u even when u're broke. The important thing is: do u have potentials? Do u have a good personality?
Many people are materialistic,true, but not everybody. What would u say about couples who dated while poor, and still got married while poor?(Not an ideal situation,but e dey happen).

Tallesty1:
For how long? It may be sweet in the beginning but the sweetness will wear off when financial problems arise..

VickyyB:
I will have my own money and date broke guys.
It means he has to be submissive to me.

Hedybee:


how do u know i would've left him? u don't me so, don't speak for me. As i said, its not alwys about money. Maybe it has to do with d way i brought up. What i meant was that, 7yrs is too much for doing just 'dating'. E reach mek we settle down na

Hedybee:


ok.. I got stuck with my *broke* prince charming for more than a yr. I did it not out of pity but, because i truly love him. I believed together we can change our story, it paid off. Today, God don butter our bread. Its not alwys abt money/material things

Tallesty1:
I'm not trying to encourage women to be gold diggers nor write broke guys off as useless.

This is just an advice from a guy who have tasted both sides and found that a broke guy who is in relationship is not being true to himself.

To be honest, most of what we have heard about relationship are unfounded. Nobody will love you for who you are when you don't have shi shi. That's just the truth.

Even the independent ladies who don’t want your money will want someone who’s settled in their life. For them, finding a partner is about finding someone who fits into their lifestyle and plans for the future. That includes things that cost money.

Below are the reasons why broke guys should forget dating for now.

1. You are not ready for it.
You may want it but honestly you don't need it. You need to be thinking of a master plan. You need to re-prioritize your life and get busy with something. Anybody who is having some major financial struggles needs to be focused on getting that together, not dating. get your act together THEN date.

2. You Ego Will Be Bruised Money does matter in our society, way too much. A person's ability to eat and look good and get medicine in time of need and take care of your woman are the things that makes one a man. Think about it, she called you on phone and asked for money and you gave her the same answer. "I no get". Then you found out much later that she somehow got the money. You ask and was told that she got it from another guy. Your heart is darned if he is one of her admirers that you are aware of.

3. It Is A Distraction A broke guy needs all the time in the world alone to sort out things and having a woman who will add some few loads to his already bent shoulder will do him no good. Don't tell me he needs a woman's support because a good female friend supports one more than his girlfriend. You don't need that extra load.

4. You Will Be Cheated On You read me right. Girls have the habit of getting bored of things quickly, this is due to who they are, which is coupled with the pressures of society. Society always wants them to get the newest and latest thing, so one day she will get tired of hoping and waiting and accept that guy who has been disturbing her. She may not tell you about it because she wouldn't want to hurt you so you end up being cheated on.

5. You Will Be FriendsZoned She likes you but cannot continue to date you because you cannot take care of her needs. So she would friendzone you in other not to lose you completely. At least there is something you are good at and she will keep your friendship because of that. Women are smart walahi

6. She Won't Feel Loved Since traditionally men are the ones that pay for dates, it is impossible then to prove your love when there is no shi shi. How can you surprise her? How can you take her out on a date or buy her gifts? How can you say you love her when she cannot rely on you when she is broke?

7. You Will Be Dumped Not because she doesn't love you but because You are not the right material for a woman who has marriage and raising a family in her agenda. You may be lucky to get someone who will stand by you but a goal without a deadline is just a dream. She will eventually get tired of hoping and give up. Your ass will be dumped. Sorry

I know that all people deserve to be loved no matter who or what they are but money is very important in every relationship so I think a man that cannot afford to date needs to wait