Dear Agatha,

I started dating my 37 year old boyfriend in 2010 before our national youth service. We continued our relationship until I got a job in 2012 and he started his own business centre.

At times when things aren’t going too well for him, he would ask me for support which I usually oblige him. But I noticed that whenever I ask him for assistance he would wonder why I should ask him for money when I’m working.

Because of my feelings for him as well as the fact that he was barely making ends meet, I ignored this aspect of him.

In 2013, we had an argument about child issue and I told him categorically that I can’t have a child outside wedlock. We quarreled and we were settled by his friend. Early last year, he started talking about marriage and actually came in September to see my people with drinks. He also took me to Delta State to introduce me to his parents. During one of the public holidays last year, he also took me to visit his priest as well. We also bought our wedding rings as well as made plans to print the wedding invitations. We planned the court wedding to coincide with my birthday while the introduction and traditional ceremonies was to take place in December.

Even though we had agreed not to entertain guests but when I informed my mother about this arrangement, she protested our decision so I paid for entertainment.

And when I informed him about the development, he wasn’t pleased that I went against our decision. To avoid trouble, I apologized and promptly informed the lady I had paid money to provide us with refreshments not to go ahead. He however gave his consent afterwards promising to refund my money.

When I called him the following day to enquire how his movement to Port-Harcourt for the court wedding would be, it was then he informed me about the suggestion of his elder brother to put on hold the court wedding until after the introductions. Even though I was angry, I reasoned it was the proper thing to do. However after that development, I started noticing changes in his attitude towards me prompting me to ask if he has changed his mind about the relationship.

This prompted him to open up to me that although his heart is yet to decide; his mind was made up about the future of the relationship.

Given the implications of his statement, I was devastated, given the extent of the preparations we had made. To underscore my apprehension was his follow-up statement that his heart is as strong as stone since his ex girlfriend left him three years ago.

Agatha, that statement, almost killed me because I had been very faithful, loyal, very open and sincere in the relationship. I immediately packed his rings and sent them to him. Some days ago he called but I refused to take his calls. He then sent a text message appealing we remain friends even though things didn’t work out between us.

Please, I’m badly and deeply hurt because I have never disappointed any man, so why did he have to disappoint me at the very stage we were? I need your help on how to get over this issue.

Holywizard:
am nt sure dat u're a marriage material

Dimples192:

Holywizard:
am nt sure dat u're a marriage material

Really?

That's all you could come up with?

Did you read the story at all?

I think not!

dharay99:


say sumtin, which one is cool now...

I started dating my 37 year old boyfriend in 2010 before our national youth service. We continued
our relationship until I got a job in 2012 and he
started his own business centre.

Dimples192:


Have patience child, I'll school you now

dharay99:


ohk granny

Dimples192:
I think what you need to learn from this experience is the fact that you teach a man how to treat you by treating yourself with respect. What I mean by this is that throughout the relationship you sacrificed your happiness for his and maybe that's why his mind was in the relationship but not his heart. The sad fact is that when we give all of ourselves to someone we will never get back what we invested so be mindful of what you're getting from the relationship before giving your all. It's give and take and you broke that balance by just giving. Had he invested in the relationship too then he'd have more to loose and maybe then his heart would be in the relationship .

at times when things aren’t going too well for
him, he would ask me for support which I usually
oblige him. But I noticed that whenever I ask him
for assistance he would wonder why I should ask
him for money when I’m working.

Dimples192:


Good boy
*hands him a biscuit*

biscuit? Naaa, mi no want,

henribj:


i beg to differ
there are always exceptions in occasions such as this, with regards to your comment

Holywizard:
am nt sure dat u're a marriage material

This prompted him to open up to me that although his heart is yet to decide; his mind was made up about the future of the relationship.

kevinberry:
There are always three side's to a story..and this is just one of them.....

If the guy should say his part am pretty sure people will hate you..


So am gonna keep calm and keep quiet...


*Berry*

naijaboiy:
Sometimes I refuse to believe we have men who are emotionally wicked.

After how many years? And you let a good woman go?

And then he had the guts to ask that they still be friends probably out of his guilty conscience.

That man is wicked

dre11:



Agreed the guy had his own part of the story...... Does he have to be when all plans are on deck for the marriage and the planning had reached the advance stage before he decide to opt out.


For God sake...... The guy is old enough and should have rejected her long ago and not lead her long to almost days to their wedding