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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? (13220 Views)
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Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 12:34pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: My dear all I can say is try to make yourself happy. Read motivational books and articles. If you have tried to bring him closer and he does not want then allow him. Think of yourself as single. If you want a child then at least you have sex once every 2 months, try to make it count, maybe take fertility drugs. I know we all go into marriage hoping that the person we marry will add more joy and love into our lives, once in a while that happens but most of the time it doesn't, I'm being v frank here. If you are seeing he is not interested then you have to take control of your own well being. Meet up with friends, join a gym, go swimming, go to the movies, start a business. Create emotional detachment from him, don't let what he does upset you. If he comes back great, if not then let things come to a natural end. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by DonTim1: 12:40pm On May 03, 2015 |
@fem29, i think its better to identify what led to the prob and not just conclude the man got there by himself,something triggered all of this, if she saw him like that earlier,she wldnt have gone into marriage with him. i also think she should exhaust all options before giving up 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 12:41pm On May 03, 2015 |
DonTim1: Within the first six months of marriage and has been worsening since. I liked his introverted nature cos I thought it would keep us closer and he liked same about me plus the fact that I am smart, beautiful and hardworking. 2 Likes |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by DonTim1: 12:46pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: ever had any discussion about child bearing as an issue ? |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 12:48pm On May 03, 2015 |
DonTim1: Well I'm going by what the OP said. She said she has tried her best to get to the bottom of it and he will not budge. What else can you do. She needs to take her own happiness into her own hands. Don't allow anyone to take away your joy |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 2:16pm On May 03, 2015 |
DonTim1: That is another story entirely which I am dealing with privately if you guys don't mind. I mean if I can't get regular sex and sperm, how do I get preggy? If I beg for sex especially during fertile window and he manages to oblige, 90% of the time I get no sperm. That is what I meant by 'does not end well' in one of my earlier posts. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Vikky014(f): 2:52pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady:na waoh. hope he is nt married spirituallythis is strange 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 2:57pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: whatever you are doing, he is tired of it. Simple. Maybe he is tired of you but you know what , there is hope. Stop doing whatever you are doing and Focus on yourself. get busy and love yourself. Do what ever you loved doing before you met him. Abi are you one of those women who lived through life with a career of how to look after a man. He needs a space, with this your constant begging et all, I would be probably be tired too As per ikwokirikwo, get a vibrator and use it while in bed with him. Use it until you "cum". Once you bleed that pressure off you will feel better . 4 Likes |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by DonTim1: 3:01pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: @privately, sure, i dont mind, now at bolded, perhaps this whole issue is being misrepresented, he might not be interested in se.x cos he feels its not yeilding results and the reason he seldom indulge. IF this is about "childbearing" then it even becomes easier cos he just needs medical advice possibly beyond NL 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 5:38pm On May 03, 2015 |
DonTim1: He says there is nothing wrong with him medically - I mean most men will never accept to be lacking in this department. Besides, the boring sex/romance life has got nothing to do with childbearing. Except he knows more and has refused to tell me. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 5:46pm On May 03, 2015 |
Chillisauce: Thanks for your contribution but you know it's so hard living with someone in the house and acting like you are alone. That was not the whole essence of getting married. But I understand what you mean and I will try. Lol@ career of looking after a man. I am not one of those women . I have a proper career and I can take good care of myself. He met me looking good and doing comfortably well. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 8:29pm On May 03, 2015 |
madam op snoop on his phone for a week. There lies your answers. Thank me later |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 9:19pm On May 03, 2015 |
intbizoil: He can always clean up his phone before getting home in the evenings. Lol. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by 5minsmadness: 9:37pm On May 03, 2015 |
rudebouy:Nice one. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by 5minsmadness: 9:42pm On May 03, 2015 |
XtraSmooth404:You too dey fear |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by 5minsmadness: 9:45pm On May 03, 2015 |
None of you have asked her what the man means when he says it's her fault @tearoses Dontim1 innervoice Rudebouy taryour 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nursy(f): 9:46pm On May 03, 2015 |
My dear ur case is so similar to a relation of mine. Married a man who was treating her anyhow and didn't tell her he had low sperm count. How person wey dey always quarrel with husband wan take carry belle na? She left the man to marry someone else, she's now a proud mother of a baby boy after having 2 miscarriages for her new husband. Meanwhile she didn't miss her period for one day while still with her ex. I'm not saying u should leave ur husband o. I pray God intervenes in ur situation. Some human beings no be am at all. Them no like peace at all. Fablady: 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by 5minsmadness: 9:54pm On May 03, 2015 |
Problems deciphered so far: 1. Romantically frustrated wife. 2. Introverted husband. 3. Introverted wife. 4. 4yrs of marriage yet no kids. 5. Strange boring and scarce sex in which wife recieves less than 90% of sper..m. For those of you thinking this man is cheating I highly doubt that is the case. It all lies in thier sexua.l lives. Something is not right. @fablady, can u elaborate more on the 90% absent sper.m? 3 Likes |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Ewuro4: 9:56pm On May 03, 2015 |
rolled: Oga speak for yourself and stop hating on NL married women ko? There's nothing to lie about, marging 2 different lifestyles cordially is not an easy task, everyone is trying their best and tolerate each other to make it work. No need for unnessary jab abeg. *** OP my dear, sorry, your post is split into parts so I cant figure out what your story/consern is all about. From what I gathered.. 1. He ignores you (how) 2. Insensitive about what exactly? 3. Doesn't make love to you? My first q is ; have you spoken to him about this? Secondly, is he okay at work , financially, is anything bothering him? Have you tried to investigate ? because men are the simplest being to manipulate. If they're in the right state of mind (financially& psychologically), that is. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by crackhaus: 10:01pm On May 03, 2015 |
Ewuro4: |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Ewuro4: 10:04pm On May 03, 2015 |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by crackhaus: 10:15pm On May 03, 2015 |
Ewuro4:Lol, okay. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nursy(f): 10:15pm On May 03, 2015 |
He thinks he owns her right? If u see some couples eh u will feel like getting married sharperly and when u hear the stories of some, marriage go tire u. I close relation of mine when through almost same situation as the op so I understand d pains. The woman is trying to make it work but the man doesn't want a happy home. *sigh* rudebouy: |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Wendy80(f): 10:16pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: U are a good woman. I pray God help Ur marriage. 8 Likes |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by taryour(f): 10:26pm On May 03, 2015 |
5minsmadness: you could be right, the man might not be cheating or even have a thought of it. He just might have lost the attraction and bond between them. No matter how much she tries he just might never look back |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Wendy80(f): 10:26pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: U are a good woman. I pray God help Ur Marriage 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by taryour(f): 10:30pm On May 03, 2015 |
intbizoil: I for one detest the idea of checking people's phone.just my person. my hubby's phone could ring from now till thy Kingdom come I go just dey look am. even before I got married I don't touch my siblings phones or my parents, I just hate the idea. @op please do not do that, it will only complicate matter, whatever is hidden will be opened sooner than you expect, it can never be hidden forever. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by taryour(f): 10:33pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: on a second thought op, you might have offended me in the past. It could be before you got married or after marriage, it might have really broke his heart. He thinks he has forgiven you but deep down he hasn't or hasn't forgotten which is affecting him now and making him act like this. * I could be wrong though * just my thought. 1 Like |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by lordkrato(m): 10:43pm On May 03, 2015 |
Fablady: Rope Robin blue Knife Cliff. You know what all above have in common.. If you're not ready for option A then take B whereby you either grow a thick skin or apply a deal breaker . Being a whiny arse is not an option to me... |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by lordkrato(m): 10:49pm On May 03, 2015 |
Nursy: Hmmm.. Are you a fool for hire? If not, then I advice you change your career path. That's how people don't get husbands in the future and wouldn't remember that they complained and formed that they wanted someone who will be their perfect clay , not even man sef Idiot. |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by rolled: 11:25pm On May 03, 2015 |
Ewuro4:Who is this again |
Re: Ladies, How Do You Cope With Insensitive Husbands? by Nobody: 12:29am On May 04, 2015 |
Ewuro4: Answered all these questions in earlier posts. 1 Like |
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