Why in the name of God would you allow a randy sister of yours into your apartment or home.. And ur husband sleeping with your sis is gross and enormous. But u need to take things so that the accuser do not become the accused. Reason very very well.. though you are under alot of pressure right now I think you should cam downandd dont make any decision in a hurry. for me the first step is sending your sis to where you go her from. That way you doose the tension down a little cos u can be seeing her in the house and not want to do something strange.

Also ensure ur evidence is water proof cos inscenarios like dis once the evidence is destroyed there is little you can Do to salvage what you have... keep ur evidence well..

Would come back when I have something

hmmmm, still trying to believe this is really happening

Ralphlauren:


i agree. that was why i asked for the age of her sister.

the blame is solely with the OP's husband.

if the OP deals with her sister, whats the assurance that the pastor has not been having extra marital affiars with other women?

exactly

Janet101:

What is wrong wit her age?I expect her to report d situation to me, d man is just a goat n shameless begin But I will nt leave my husband

Yes.. you expect but humans don't always behave in a set way// what if she was forced
Based on her age..i blame the husband more

This one pass me o.na only for nollywood I dey see am o.





op tell me it's a lie



KanwuliaJara your attention is needed here because I have ran out of what to say

.

Hmmmmm.......things are really happening in this world.

Sis calm down.

I pray that God gives you the strength, wisdom and understanding to pull through this.

Firstly: Your husband is the main Culprit here, he took advantage of your sister's vulnerability.

He knows your sister's weakness and enter through that. My dear that man is not a good man and he as only succeeded in ruining your house. He went too farrrr!

My advice: be ready for anything, reach-out to your church pastor and let them call him in for Questioning, because at this stage you can't do it alone. You need to expose him to a matured counselor (such as your pastor).

Believe me you also need to inform your parents honestly (that's very important on your sister's part)

Then after all the confrontations and advises, it is left for you to now decides whether you won't divorce or not. This will happen depending on who you are seeing when you look at him.

Let me give you a picture of what you'll see for now. (A beast, a pretender and an un-trust worthy person)

Please do not act on this alone and beware of frenemies.

You'll pull through.. Thank God for this revelation as well.
Be strong pls!

Westendel:
bukatyne
Chair cover
babyosisi
thorpido
moca
EfemenaXY
Cococandy

I have been reading the advice you always give people in that thread babyosisi created. pls I need your opinion in this issue

Chi chi, let me try
This one is tough but I will try

First of all get yourself together,I am saying this knowing how hard this must be
I have a younger sister 14 years my junior and as I was reading this I was imagining you being me and wondering what would be my reaction if my own sister slept with my husband under my own roof.


[size=18pt]Do not confront your husband yet So don't speak to them together please [/size]


1.) Take screen shots of that evidence because they will deny this and wipe off the chats and it becomes their words against yours so you need solid evidence.

2.) Be prepared that even with that evidence,most of what they will confess to will be a lie if you question them together so don't!. They will most likely say it happened only once, most likely it's been happening a long time,more likely than not,since she was 14, he may even be the one that deflowered her and that makes him a rapist.14 year olds are minors and cannot give consent.if he didn't force or coerce her it is statutory rape by virtue of her age,
His action could have been what led your sister on a promiscuous path and that is another story altogether.
If this has gone on since she was 14 ( which is my suspicion ) your husband is also a pedophile and all other neighborhood kids are at risk.
This has gone beyond your husband slept with your sister,there could be a wider circle of victims here.I am scared of what might be uncovered in a good investigation where other kids are questioned properly.you could have been sleeping with a monster.


3 ) speak to your sister before speaking to your husband to confirm no 2 above.this is tough but approach this very calmly and in a non confrontational way.you want to ascertain that he did mol.est her as a 14 year old and the circumstances, let her give you details ,then ask her if she knew of other little girls. The results here will depend on your manner of approach.you have to pretend to be on her side totally,as a caring older sister who is like a mother figure looking out for her best interests ,she will surely open up and spill everything. That's what you need.

4.) Call your mother and bring her over also call a family member of his over to where you live and with the 5 of you sitting together ,ask your sister to repeat what she had told you.

Then leave your husband to make a response


If indeed he slept with a 14 year old,you should have nothing to do with Him after this,the man belongs in prison
I would actually get the police involved
Either way this marriage is over
As hard as this sounds,this marriage is worthless
The marriage is irreversible at this point and you are free to remarry, Biblically speaking,don't try to salvage anything there is nothing here to salvage.

This is sad.A real betrayal of very close people to you.
I think you should calm down so you don't do something irrational.Don't commit murder.

I want to believe you saved the watsapp conversation.It's your evidence.
Confront your hubby with the evidence and get his side of the story.You should let your family know about this also.Speak to your parents.
Go and meet your church leader and report the issue to him/her.

I don't think there's anything in this marriage for you to save however.This is one i definitely won't tell you to try to rehabilitate.

Westendel:
yes my blood sister. I happened to read their watsapp conversation. pls I need more advice. how do I handle this issue. my husband is a committed member in the church, he was the one that made me to accept Christ.now I feel like going back to the world

I bet you he has slept with many other teenage girls in that church
I hope you will be strong to handle all the revelations that could come out of this.

Westendel:


I'm 32 and my sister is 19. I senior almost 5 people before her. my husband is 36 yes.I have not asked him yet just found out last night.am Afraid of him admitting it cos I might poison him.so Right now am at work after which I don't plan returning back home

I'm glad to know you have a job
Read my first post,do not speak with your husband until you have spoken calmly with your sister ,just you and her alone.
She is the the best person to tell you details of everything and you need that as you bring closure
Don't yell at her,beat or threaten her but you must approach this calmly to get the desired result
you must not let her in on this session before hand
You don't want any prepared answers
Take her completely unawares,she is only 19
You can even have your sister in your presence send your husband their usual text and read his responses
This calls for super calmness, being angry and emotional will spoil everything.


I must warn you though
Your sister may still continue to see your husband or even move in with him after you leave
Be prepared for that possibility

Please my dear, try to calm yourself in order to think clearly before knowing what to do.It's very painful when people close to betray you.

The blame is on both your hubby and sister.Inform your parents about what is happening and make sure you have the screen shots of their conversation. Whatever you are going to do, do it when you are calm and thinking clearly, though it's hard but please don't do anything you will regret.

OMG this is so sad.. This story breaks my heart to pieces. I have tears clouding my eyes because it sucks to be you right now.

i. First, make sure you save the evidence. Their chat & everything else u can find. Then confront them.
The both of them.

ii. Send your sister back to your parent and let them know what is going on. They will know the best way to handle it.
This story will get out both in church, on the street, in the village & you will have to live with being the woman whose sister was sleeping with her "husband".
Embarassing but in time, you will get used to it.

iii. To be honest, i dont know what to tell you to do with your husband.
If i were in your shoes, i will divorce him because, i can never ever be happy with someone like that till i die.
I cant imagine waking up to see that kind of repulsive character around me. Of all the people in the world, it had to be your SISTER.
My God!
In Nigeria, the women are suffer head. They are not meant to divorce no matter what the man does to them.
So if you are the typical Nigerian woman & care about what people will say, Religion and societal expectations.
Then you have to make your marriage work again. Try seprating for a while, move somewhere so you dont do anything rash like poisoning YOURSELF or Your Husband.
You will end up in Jail for LIFE, for what?
Abeg, just move, to regain your sanity. When your mind is settled you can make the best decision.

For those tradin blames about who is at fault?
Both the Husband and the sister shares equal blame. They are both adult & know what they are doin. It is just pure, unadultrated & vile Wickedness! Evil people.

This story hurt me so much i dont even know how to advice you.
Take heart, but if i were in your shoes. Omo, it's over! The marriage.
Just be thankful that you dont have a child yet for such an evil person. It should make "Movin on" Easier to bear.
Chai.. It's manipulation season, pastors will beg u to stay, your parent and his family will do the same. You will hear all kind of stories of why your story is not the worst in the world. Naija women & suffering sha.

^Thinkin^
If the roles were reverse and your Husband found out you have been shagging his brother. What would he have done?

babyosisi:


Chi chi, let me try
This one is tough but I will try

First of all get yourself together,I am saying this knowing how hard this must be
I have a younger sister 14 years my junior and as I was reading this I was imagining you being me and wondering what would be my reaction if my own sister slept with my husband under my own roof.


[size=18pt]Do not confront your husband yet So don't speak to them together please [/size]


1.) Take screen shots of that evidence because they will deny this and wipe off the chats and it becomes their words against yours so you need solid evidence.

2.) Be prepared that even with that evidence,most of what they will confess to will be a lie if you question them together so don't!. They will most likely say it happened only once,most likely it's been happening a long time.most likely since she was 14, he may even be the one that deflowered her.that makes him a rapist.14 year olds are minor and cannot give consent.if he didn't force or coerce her it is statutory rape by virtue of her age,
His action could have been what led your sister on a promiscuous path and that is another story altogether.
If this has gone on since she was 14 ( which is my suspicion ) your husband is also a pedophile and all other neighborhood kids are at risk.
This has gone beyond your husband slept with your sister,there could be a wider circle of victims here.I am scared of what might be uncovered in a good investigation where other kids are questioned properly.you could have been sleeping with a monster.


3 ) speak to your sister before speaking to your husband to confirm no 2 above.this is tough but approach this very calmly and in a non confrontational way.you want to ascertain that he did mol.est her as a 14 year old and the circumstances, let her give you details ,then ask her if she knew of other little girls. The results here will depend on your manner of approach.you have to pretend to be on her side totally,as a caring older sister who is like a mother figure looking out for her best interests ,she will surely open up and spill everything. That's what you need.

4.) Call your mother and bring her over also call a family member of his over to where you live and with the 5 of you sitting together ,ask your sister to repeat what she had told you.

Then leave your husband to make a response


If indeed he slept with a 14 year old,you should have nothing to do with Him after this,the man belongs in prison
I would actually get the police involved
Either way this marriage is over
As hard as this sounds,this marriage is worthless
The marriage is irreversible at this point and you are free to remarry, Biblically speaking,don't try to salvage anything there is nothing here to salvage.

You are right Sis,there is absolutely nothing to save in this marriage. Am taking a walk!!

To everyone that has contributed in one way or the other, I say a big thank you.
Am a very emotional person, couldn't keep count, how many times I visited the rest room today in my office to cry my heart out.my colleagues thought I lost someone. well I will take it as my fate.will get my parents informed and also his parents as well

Thank you all and keep them coming

Westendel:



You are right Sis,there is absolutely nothing to save in this marriage. Am taking a walk!!

It's not going to be easy,I have seen friends go through separations and divorce,it's no cake walk.Its a painful experience.This will be perhaps one of the toughest things you will ever go through.You will go through emotions similar to what people do when they lose a loved one.
Anger sadness,confusion,denial, betrayal,blaming oneself for certain things,rage in addition to the feeling that you have been ultimately deceived,thoughts of who else has he slept it,which friends,which family members,neighbors,church members,co workers
You will question everything he ever told you in the 5 years
You will feel it all my dear
I hope you have at least one bosom friend you can confide in and pour out your heart to,who will keep your stories private.
What you are doing here is therapeutic in some ways but you also need a good friend who will be ready 24/7 to hear you rant and cuss and rave and pour out every emotions you may have.
You need an outlet to express how you feel.
But please don't go sleeping with another man to pay him back,you will only get hurt emotionally,you are very vulnerable at this time,so don't go that route.

If you come out to just make accusations and leave,you will walk away and still have the questions how ,why and when haunting you.
That is why I cautioned that you must get details from your sister
It will shock you and make you want to hurt them but I pray you don't
You need those answers to put closure to this.

RiffRaff:
OMG this is so sad.. This story breaks my heart to pieces. I have tears clouding my eyes because it sucks to be you right now.

i. First, make sure you save the evidence. Their chat & everything else u can find. Then confront them.
The both of them.

ii. Send your sister back to your parent and let them know what is going on. They will know the best way to handle it.
This story will get out both in church, on the street, in the village & you will have to live with being the woman whose sister was sleeping with her "husband".
Embarassing but in time, you will get used to it.

iii. To be honest, i dont know what to tell you to do with your husband.
If i were in your shoes, i will divorce him because, i can never ever be happy with someone like that till i die.
I cant imagine waking up to see that kind of repulsive character around me. Of all the people in the world, it had to be your SISTER.
My God!
In Nigeria, the women are suffer head. They are not meant to divorce no matter what the man does to them.
So if you are the typical Nigerian woman & care about what people will say, Religion and societal expectations.
Then you have to make your marriage work again. Try seprating for a while, move somewhere so you dont do anything rash like poisoning YOURSELF or Your Husband.
You will end up in Jail for LIFE, for what?
Abeg, just move, to regain your sanity. When your mind is settled you can make the best decision.

For those tradin blames about who is at fault?
Both the Husband and the sister shares equal blame. They are both adult & know what they are doin. It is just pure, unadultrated & vile Wickedness! Evil people.

This story hurt me so much i dont even know how to advice you.
Take heart, but if i were in your shoes. Omo, it's over! The marriage.
Just be thankful that you dont have a child yet for such an evil person. It should make "Movin on" Easier to bear.
Chai.. It's manipulation season, pastors will beg u to stay, your parent and his family will do the same. You will hear all kind of stories of why your story is not the worst in the world. Naija women & suffering sha.

^Thinkin^
If the roles were reverse and your Husband found out you have been shagging his brother. What would he have done?

Thank you .I don't want to know what people will say

O boy!!! This is one of the worst stories I've read in this section.

Your husband should be ashamed of himself!

You sent your sister home for sleeping with evry tom, diick and harry, then brought her back and your hubby decided to take advantage of the fact that she is the cheerful giver type. As far as I'm concerned, he lured her with money. She's still young and naïve. Please, calm yourself, do not kill nobody cos you may spend the rest of your life in prison.

Since there is no kid in this marriage, divorce may be an easy choice. But you may have to wait for bukatyne. She always know how to advice women without making them take rash decisions.

God wl uphold u,i dnt even knw wot 2 type i am sori 2 hear dis take heart&b strong

Reading this am scared of marriage o

This is a serious situation you got. It's not an easy thing. Let me say a prayer for you and anytime you want to make a decision reflect on this:

"May the almighty God grant you the serenity to accept the things you can't change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference"

Meanwhile for all your branding and customization do contact.

Hello my Sister,

The situation you are calls for divine intervention. My advise is that you go on your knees and cry to God to lead you. Return to your husband house after work,do not ask any of the two any question. Talk to your sister and your husband,prepare food and behave normal.

1. Watch events as it will unfold in front of you.

2. There is nothing anybody will tell you that will replace your sister and your husband for now.

3. I know your husband & sister will either brake down or be arrogant.

The real decision will come in the night, let your sister be asleep and tell your husband you have reported the case at the Police station,that you inform the authorities to hold both of them responsible should anything happen to you. Then be confident enough to tell him this. '' with the love i have shown you. With all my sacrifice to keep out marriage as a born again christian.Why did you submit yourself to the devil?

Tell us what he will vomit as explanation tomorrow.

Note- No human being is God to judge this case.May God see you through. (amen)

OMG, I am speechless. This is like the worst way to betray someone ever. Two people whom you hold dearly to your heart, I don't even know how to advice you.

Since your emotions are all over the place now, the sights of both of them might make you do something stupid. Can you stay in a hotel for a wk? or find someone who will allow you to let you stay with them for at least a wk, so you can gather your thoughts. Just make up some type of lie to your husband as to why you are going away for a week. Don't say anything until you have gathered your thoughts.

I am with babyosis, I believe your husband has been sleeping with her since she was 14, it did not just happened. Which might explain why your sister is very promiscuous. God has a funny way of blessing and protecting us. Maybe this is the reason why you have not gotten pregnant. You should be on your knee and thanking God for not having any children with that disgusting pig. God sees this and that is why he has not given pregnancy.

I will advice you to talk to your sister. Don't do it in a confrontation manner, do not judge her nor be aggressive. Talk to her in a motherly way, trust me, she will spill all the beans to you. Just be prepared for what you will hear from her cos it might break you into pieces.

But divorce him kia kia. Do not let anyone try to guilt you to stay. You deserve better than that.

babyosisi:


Chi chi, let me try
This one is tough but I will try

First of all get yourself together,I am saying this knowing how hard this must be
I have a younger sister 14 years my junior and as I was reading this I was imagining you being me and wondering what would be my reaction if my own sister slept with my husband under my own roof.


[size=18pt]Do not confront your husband yet So don't speak to them together please [/size]


1.) Take screen shots of that evidence because they will deny this and wipe off the chats and it becomes their words against yours so you need solid evidence.

2.) Be prepared that even with that evidence,most of what they will confess to will be a lie if you question them together so don't!. They will most likely say it happened only once,most likely it's been happening a long time.most likely since she was 14, he may even be the one that deflowered her.that makes him a rapist.14 year olds are minor and cannot give consent.if he didn't force or coerce her it is statutory rape by virtue of her age,
His action could have been what led your sister on a promiscuous path and that is another story altogether.
If this has gone on since she was 14 ( which is my suspicion ) your husband is also a pedophile and all other neighborhood kids are at risk.
This has gone beyond your husband slept with your sister,there could be a wider circle of victims here.I am scared of what might be uncovered in a good investigation where other kids are questioned properly.you could have been sleeping with a monster.


3 ) speak to your sister before speaking to your husband to confirm no 2 above.this is tough but approach this very calmly and in a non confrontational way.you want to ascertain that he did mol.est her as a 14 year old and the circumstances, let her give you details ,then ask her if she knew of other little girls. The results here will depend on your manner of approach.you have to pretend to be on her side totally,as a caring older sister who is like a mother figure looking out for her best interests ,she will surely open up and spill everything. That's what you need.

4.) Call your mother and bring her over also call a family member of his over to where you live and with the 5 of you sitting together ,ask your sister to repeat what she had told you.

Then leave your husband to make a response


If indeed he slept with a 14 year old,you should have nothing to do with Him after this,the man belongs in prison
I would actually get the police involved
Either way this marriage is over
As hard as this sounds,this marriage is worthless
The marriage is irreversible at this point and you are free to remarry, Biblically speaking,don't try to salvage anything there is nothing here to salvage.

Hmm. Good advice but not sufficient. Any time I hear or read women supporting divorce, I am always afraid.

You are correct at the surface but don't you see it from another angle that divorce might be the target of their enemy? With this advice, you have nailed the coffin.
Pls OP, I know you are hurt, traumatized, agonized, etc but, allow this case to settle down and learn your lesson. Never ever allow any female person to be too close to your family- friend, sister, neighbours, etc. Forgive him and move on, if u leave him, do you know how bad the next man will be? Work on your home.

Westendel:
bukatyne
Chair cover
babyosisi
thorpido
moca
EfemenaXY
Cococandy

I have been reading the advice you always give people in that thread babyosisi created. pls I need your opinion in this issue

Hi West,

I am sorry about What you are going through. I m equally sorry I cannot help you here.

I wish you all the best in whatever decision you take.

Just remember that whatever choice you make, There are consequences for it.

Goodluck.

Big warm hug to you.

Westendel:
To everyone that has contributed in one way or the other, I say a big thank you.
Am a very emotional person, couldn't keep count, how many times I visited the rest room today in my office to cry my heart out.my colleagues thought I lost someone. well I will take it as my fate.will get my parents informed and also his parents as well

Thank you all and keep them coming

It is ok to cry.you can go ahead and tell them someone died ,a family member because indeed the husband you thought you knew is dead figuratively speaking.

bukatyne:


Hi West,

I am sorry about What you are going through. I m equally sorry I cannot help you here.

I wish you all the best in whatever decision you take.

Just remember that whatever choice you make, There are consequences for it.

Goodluck.

Big warm hug to you.

If it were you,what will you do?

Westendel:

I beg you to please calm down because if you rush it and confront them in this your state you will surely make mistakes and you will move with unanswered questions that may always hunt you. When you are calm go over repeatedly what babyosisi said, i think all you need is in it. Should you have problems applying her steps you can always refer back here.

Please again be calm and careful. From experience, young boys and girls who are promiscious like your sister are usually victims of molestation. Since she started in your house, i have my suspicion on your husband. Watch it, your sister might be a victim too. Now ask yourself if it is possible you innocently provided the environment that turned her to what she is. Take it from there, you might end up saving yourself, sister and others.

sorry oh. don't kill someone and end up in jail.

first of all. the idea that marriage is bird of rose is a false. when you first change that mentality you will overcome this situation. see marriage as a trap and caged. bitter and full of problems.

next. life has no meaning and useless and when we all die everything ends. this will bring down your current temper.

see your sister as part of life challenge its part of the fate in your destiny. this event is in your destiny

but by the way can I see your left hand Palm?

What is the truth?can we face reality?

In as much as it is very hard,this type of thing happens day in day out in this our modern world.it should be under 5% of divorced women that will find it possible to remarry.Hey,there is no saint these days men and women alike.If people tell you to divorce will they provide an angel of a man? Sincerely speaking,it might be a test for your breakthrough,what is if divorce is what the enemy want for either of the couples?
My take on this issue is prudence and God's direction.Someone can make mistake today and be good tomorrow and likewise somebody can be good today and be bad tomorrow.God direction is the best way forward.Let the situation die a natural death,don't insist to find out the truth in a hurry cause it may be hard instead take it gently with your man,i tell you if you want to tame or make your man to confess you can do it.God has given the women powers with diligence to unearth the very truth from men's mouth.You will laugh at the end no need to put yourself in a bad state. Cheers

k

our destinies are reshaped due to our past. wrong doing and karma.

things we did causes us obstacle in future. I will not be surprise of this. speaking from spiritual chakra this event was molded by your past. I wouldn't be surprise what things you did in your past.

our path of life is a road line and there are challenge's on this road. most times what we did create this obstacle whether we are Christian or belong to any religion.

sure your sister will also experience something like this in her life. and majorally a lot of people fall into temptation for no reason but only helping destiny or karma to fulfil it course. in the case of your husband he might not have the power to resist destiny. why you are not getting pregnant is another issue.


take it as one of the things in life and move on.