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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? (54597 Views)
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Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by iguita: 12:54am On Aug 21, 2015 |
My brother (or boss as the case may be because you are certainly older), there is no perfect marriage. Please forgive her and move on with life. When God is set to surprise you, you will run away because your house go full with kids. Protect her against any other influence, if necessary adopt. Yoruba proverb says with person wey born and person wey no born na pikin go bury am. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by NemzySeries(m): 12:54am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Mr man consider d reason y she lied to u.....u wud aav done same if not worst if only u were in her shoes.....im not supporting her tho but u said it wit ur own mouth dat shez Gud,luv & above all shez a wife material....4get all dis comments pple are posting,most are jokes & 4 mare fun......make her understand she broke ur her but pray wit her & bliv in God & see aw God is gonna rejuvenate ur wife,her womb,physique & ur entire marriage..... ......above all I'm counting on u guys 4 a testimony & remember nofin pass God d younger lady out dere u might b finking is a beta option might blow ur mind wit a bigger problem........may God bless u & ur marriage even as he spice it up wit newness jst like wine.....i bliv in u 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by DedeNkem: 12:54am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Dannyabu: WALK AWAY NOW!. If she could lie about her age all these years without considering your own feeling, she's selfish and may be hiding other big things from you. She tricked and lied you into marring her. This type of woman CAN'T be trusted, she's very dishonest. You were only able to know her real age when you guys went to the hospital because of her problem getting pregnant. She NEVER wanted to tell you the truth. You can forgive her but she can't give you back the 4 years you've lost. You stated that she feared you would walk away if you knew the truth. This is complete nonsense! She's trying to justify lying to you. She has no right whatsoever to make the decision for you on when to leave a relationship. She has no right to lie you about her age. She has no right to force you into marry her by tricking you into thinking she was young. She has no right to deceive you. You said "she is really a wife material, respectful,..." A real wife material or respectful woman won't lie to you about her age! A good and honest woman would be truthful to you from the beginning. My wife is one year older than me and she told me this from the beginning! If your wife had been truthful, I believe you won't leave her and you guys would have started earlier to pursue babies. Now her lie has come back to bite her in her as*s. She has no baby and her age (47 yrs old) is not on her side anymore. After 45, it's almost impossible for a woman to get pregnant using her own eggs. At the same time, many 40-plus women do get pregnant, some using fertility treatments and some not. If I were you, counting only the 4 years as you loss, is far better than including baby-less or adaption. End the marriage now and move on with your life with a better woman who's young, honest and has good personality. Divorce your dishonest wife now and don't get stuck in marriage with someone out of sympathy. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 1:03am On Aug 21, 2015 |
mechanics:Do I hear you say pray? Hmmmmmmmnn all the people you mentioned above came clean before God. Unlike the woman in question that has built the foundation of her marriage on lies right from the onset. You don't do such things and expect miracles over night. God respects and honours people who are faithful. Sarah's case was very different from this case. Here is a wicked woman, a goal digger that lured an unsuspecting and ignorant dude to say I do, just for her to lay to rest marriage pressures coming from friends and family relations. You can't compare this kind of situation with Sarah's and Abraham's, for both came clean. In this matter, the woman only played on and took advantage of the man's ignorance. God please keep me away from such women. I can't forgive let alone endure such a woman. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 1:12am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Gurgle: Am not pained,I just want everybody to be responsible for their actions and this is a golden opportunity to preach the message,I won't want to be love out of pity,that why I believe that If I could try as much as possible to be healthy and fertile in terms of fertility,I see no reasons why I should put up with your short-coming,love or no love....I want that to be part of our life,that way people will learn to be cautious of their life and how the decision they make affect people.... |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Gurgle(f): 1:15am On Aug 21, 2015 |
The thing is that OP couldn't have imagined that the lady would lie about such a thing, that's why he didn't bother to cross-check her So the moral is that all of us should just check these things very well..I keep leaving this thread and coming back because I really cant believe it.. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 1:16am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Sonofananimal where are you? We need you to come and give your counsel here. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 1:21am On Aug 21, 2015 |
mnguz:What if such a thing happens to your brother, son or close relative? Will you still ask such a careless question That shows that you have justified that woman's actions, and you can do same as well. Take no offence please, if my mention offends you. Just wanted to hit it raw. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Gurgle(f): 1:22am On Aug 21, 2015 |
kevinberry: Ok, noted but I think that you personally messaging the guy to make sure he throws the woman away is an overreaction I myself am also struggling to remain neutral but the lady was desperate sha. Abi she shouldn't have done that, we all shouldn't have done a lot of things but its already done now...OP is committed to her and he says we should help them (not just him) pass through it |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Gurgle(f): 1:23am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Orkpekyandega: Lol why are you calling him, you want OP to run mad I think he has already said something sha 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by galantjoe(m): 1:25am On Aug 21, 2015 |
for my advice. she lied to u and still u love her but need ur kids. legally the mariage is null and void because it is sham and deceit. hence u still love her and u want ur own kids. i would advice either u divorce her or marry second wife. talk to her the need for u to move on with either of the choice. let her choose. dont adopt a child when u can impregnate a woman. dont let another person fate affect yours in the name of love: avoid badluck they are infectious. everyone has differenr fate. take bold step. u may encounter resistance from ur pastor or church yet pastors divorce their wife on flimsy reasons. any mistake u make now is forever. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Suspect33(m): 1:34am On Aug 21, 2015 |
peeparty:Pure MADNESS |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Excellent7(m): 1:45am On Aug 21, 2015 |
seedgrows: @seedgrows I hope you say Amen if I say, may this kind of blessing locate you! I scroll through the thread and I see many "wicked", emotional and "distant" advice, If I am correct in my deductions from the OP's post and what he said is the way it is, these are the facts of the matter let us look together at these facts: Fact 1: About 4 years ago the OP was 35 years and thought he was getting married to a 35 year old lady. (Note: Most naija guys will go for or prefer a younger lady) Fact 2:From 1 above OP probably assumed "they" had a 10 year reproductive window!! (but he actually had 2 years or thereabouts and did not know it) Fact 3: OP entered into the "marriage" hoping to have his own biological children. Fact 4: The truth about the lady's age until they went for fertility things (babe was not ready to come clean until the truth could not be suppressed or hidden. If the lady had a child during this 4 years OP will most probably be in the dark). On the basis of these facts my perception of the whole thing is that the OP has been scammed big time, People are talking of forgiveness, but I want to ask what exactly do they want him to forgive? What about trust? In my opinion there was never a marriage! It was all about the lady and I believe she know the game is up. For the OP, I am not going to tell you what to do but I have a question for you and the answer can guide you. If you are heterosexual and see a guy that presented himself as a gorgeous lady, and ended up "marrying her" only to realize the she is a he on your honeymoon, what will you do? Will you forgive and forget? Will it still be that only strong people forgive? Be guided by your answer(s) to this question! Whatever your decision try not to be bitter. @ lots of posters This is really a hard one, but I was mad at how people were telling OP to take medicine they will never touch, and worse still involving God in it, to make the OP look like he is the guilty party. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nsikann: 1:45am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Abugab:Guy this post by Abugab happens to be one of the best posts ever seen on this forum. I know of a woman that gave birth to a child when she was 60 yrs old in Abuja. If only you can reassure her of your love again and again and trust in the Lord with all your heart for a child. You will surely have kids. You don't need a miracle,kids will just come easily only if YOU TRUST IN THE LORD. If Sarah, Abraham's wife could give birth at the age of 90, I wonder which woman would not be able to bear kids. Don't divorce her or try having extra marital affairs. You will just worsen the situation. Wish you d best bro. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 2:28am On Aug 21, 2015 |
kevinberry:Thank you for being observant. There is this solidarity that women love to display generally when they know that their fellow woman is at fault. But if it is the man en hmmmnnnn you will hear and see bashing. Love her, forgive her bla bla bla let me hear something. Me no de pretend oooo I no fit. This is a typical lifestyle of most retired runs girls. They live very rough lives enjoy all during their youthful days and when they know that age is no longer on their side, they start looking for one humble, gentle, God fearing young man to marry. Some go as far as becoming born again by force just to hook up with some ignorant faithful brothers and even Pastors have fallen prey to these goal diggers. NLs be warned. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Orkpekyandega(m): 2:35am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Gurgle:Good MATHEMATICIAN. A1 in Maths right. You must have been very good in solving 'Word Problems' during your Secondary School days. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by jayuuk: 2:53am On Aug 21, 2015 |
@op just a few people here maturely addressed your challenges, do not walk away from her,a few ladies possess her attributes,with love and support from you she will conceive,most marriages failed because wrong advice, impatience and misplaced priorities. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by lomaxbien(m): 3:43am On Aug 21, 2015 |
@OP Sorry about this,its actually heartbreaking and I feel your pain,i bet this marriage is about to crash,she betrayed the trust you had for her and it'l be extremely difficult for you to trust her again...and a relationship/marriage without trust is like a car without gas...you can sit in it but ur not going any where. She lied and her conscience didn't bug her,she could have carried that Lil secret to her grave,its posible she's got other secrets too,but you'v admitted that she's a good woman and a "wife material" so making this marriage work won't be a bad idea,her type may be difficult to find,if you love her...stay with her,miracles still happen and she may get pregnant some day...but if she doesnt,well, adoption won't be a bad idea,geting a baby mama may ruin your marriage but it may help also if your wife is ready to support you. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 3:52am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Orkpekyandega:LOLZ!! I I FEEL REALLY SAD FOR THE OP, AND KIND OF IMAGINE IF IT WAS ME, WHAT WILL I DO? MANY PEOPLE HERE MAKE A SIMILAR COMMENT TELLING THE OP TO "FORGIVE" YOU CAN FORGIVE A PERSON BUT IT IS VERY HARD TO FORGET WHAT YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH, THE BELIEVE YOU ONCE HAVE THAT YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF HER, MAKING SOME KEY FAMILY DECISION LIKE IF YOU ARE THE SENIOR BUT NOT KNOWING SHE IS PLAYING YOU LIKE A CARD OR RATHER MAKE YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE IN CHARGE BUT FAIL TO REALIZE THAT NATURE IS AROUND THE CORNER WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO STRIKE. THE PROBLEM NOW IS THAT THE OP HAS LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND FEEL CHEATED BY HER. THE ONLY BEST WAY TO REGAIN HIS HAPPINESS IS IF HE : 1. DIVORCE HER 2. HAVE A SECOND WIFE 3. HAVE A KID OUTSIDE OR CONCUBINE IF HE SAID HE WANT TO FORGIVE HER AND STILL LIVE WITH HER!! OR DID THAT SURROGATE STUFF, I BET YOU!! HE WILL RUN MAD IN SOME CERTAIN STAGE OF LIFE, EVEN RIGHT NOW HE WILL NOT EVEN WHAT TO LOOK AT HIS WIFE EYE TO EYE OR RATHER EVEN SLEEP WITH HER. COS HIS PERSPECTIVE OF HER HAVE ALREADY CHANGE. IT ONLY TAKES THE GRACE OF GOD OR RATHER A MIRACLE WHICH WILL BE 0.0000001% FOR THEM TO SETTLE THINGS NOW. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by ogbevireo(m): 3:55am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Have you considered the IVF/SURRUGACY option? If you haven't then I advice you should. From your story, wifey is fetile. Only age has made her body unable to adapt properly to carrying a child. On that note both your own sperm and her eggs could be used to give you children of your own. Your own blood children. There is a clinic in Warri that can handle this for you in Warri. Its Lily Hospitals Limited. You can google it and contact them. If you send me a pm, I can also you the head of IVF's number. So no need to lose hope. Your forgiving your wifey will bring good at the end. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by farihafaheemah(m): 4:00am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Dannyabu: |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by livinbygrace: 4:12am On Aug 21, 2015 |
My brother ,men forgives easily but women don't .Stop living in a fool"s paradise ,the woman in question does not love you as you do,She only played along to her own favor. You can get a baby mama and move on.No time . |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by farihafaheemah(m): 4:13am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Any relationship built on falsehood would end up crash, there's nothing wrong if ur wife is older than you but not as much as 8 years, I will advice you to get married to a younger lady who can give you children. A lesson to all don't be too desperate on whatever you're seeking, out of desperation caused this. She's so nice and wife material because of sketon she has in her cupboard. Pls wise up and do the needful. God bless u |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by naijathings(m): 4:22am On Aug 21, 2015 |
[size=14pt]How can people be so Wicked, Callous, Manipulative, Scheming, Selfish, inconsiderate, Heartless and Dishonest to someone who they claim to Love?[/size] I can't understand why a man who just found out that he has been scammed will still be seeking public opinion as to whether he should deal with the scammer or not... especially when the scammer is right there living with the man. what do you do When u go to get something you really can not do without, you take it home and see that you have been given a FAKE? You return it, get another one by using more care & wisdom, or keep taking the FAKE for repair and hoping for a *miracle * ? [size=14pt]You say she is nice, wife-material, caring, blablabla.... what else did you expect her to be? can you now see that maybe this is why she has been ACTING like an Angel to you? I bet she is even more NICER & ANGELIC to you now that she doesn't want you to leave her. With such a fatal, ruthless, and life-changing lie that only came out because there was no way she could lie to the doctor, who knows what other lies are in this Pandora's box which her inability to bear babies has opened? did she fake it when she said I DO? maybe she has been faking the orgasms too. Trust is like a mirror, you will never see things properly again with that mirror if it gets broken; no matter how hard u try to glue the pieces together. @ Dannyabu , truth is bitter. Now are you going to take the bitter medicine and you draw the curtains on this stage play which has lasted for 4 years of your life? She got what she wanted without thinking about what YOU wanted. But if you are still satisfied by her well played and orchestrated LOVE, then please keep her in your life and enjoy the stage play while the actress keeps acting. You will be in the front seat watching the stage play ALONE till you get bored and sad and live on with the deciet.... or a very very BIG MIGHTY BIG miracle happens to bring you children to enjoy the play with you.[/size] 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by lakamua: 4:23am On Aug 21, 2015 |
That woman is a parasite. Marry her only if she agrees to be the bread winner. She has to be useful to the marriage |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by iRepNaija1: 4:30am On Aug 21, 2015 |
buygala: Are you serious? 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by guseman(m): 4:32am On Aug 21, 2015 |
@Op My brother, I think I know how you feel because I was once in that situation. My wife was older than me with almost a year and she use to claim she is four years younger than me though I have some doubts because I graduated a year ahead of her from secondary school and each time I looked at how matured her younger ones are I get more confused and each time I say anything about them she will say they are just looking older than their real age. Something happened to her and she was asked her real age and I was not surprised to know we are age mates. It's only when you are not sensitive to things that you won't know because my elder sister once told me she is older than me but everything is fair in love and war[b][/b]. You know women, they sabi each other. I was not happy for a while because she made me look so foolish though my wife is very smart and intelligent and because we are age mates she knows how to handle me. But after a while, I overlooked it and we moved on. As per your neighbours laughing at you, walahi there is a couple like that in my compound now. We treat them with respect because they always respect everyone. But honestly when they moved in everyone is confused about what is going on because the madam looked more older than the man. My best advice is adoption but living in an African society and especially in Nigeria, your family is my concern especially your mother unless maybe she is late. If you are abroad, the stress may be lesser and keep praying for miracles to happen. If you impregnate another girl, she might comply now but later she will show you hell because some are suggesting baby mamas. This is just my own opinion. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by christinie(f): 4:37am On Aug 21, 2015 |
There was a misrepresentation. You were lied to. You were grossly deceived. The marriage was contracted on wrong foundation. You got married to a supposedly young lady NOT KNOWING she was old. There was a deception. The marriage can be annulled if you so wish. You can also choose to forgive her. This is quite pathetic. Sorry dear. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by awa(m): 4:42am On Aug 21, 2015 |
My guy I feel bad about her inability to have pre-inform you about her real age. While I am not here to justify or condemn her actions or inactions however, I think she was rather desperate on getting married as at the time both of you got married or she was scared to death of loosing you due to age difference. Having said that I think outside the child issue, you really don't sound like someone having any other major issue in his marriage. Pls I want you to know your lovely wife is fruitful and can still bear you a child soonest. God's gifts are perfect and despite the small challenges in your last two attempts, something great is around the corner. Pls forgive her and love her the more. Is human to err but divine to forgive. Choose the part of divinity at this point in your life. Don't forget God's faithful and just despite our unfaithfulness. |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by majalisa(m): 4:52am On Aug 21, 2015 |
May God deliver us from women with situational yet permanent lies |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by adconline(m): 5:03am On Aug 21, 2015 |
seedgrows:I have no pain my friend! So needless to understand what doesn't exist.. This post is not about me. There is no happiness in this marriage, it's all premised on lies and deceit. Happiness is a 2-way street. The lady is happy because she deceived a young fella into marriage while the young man feels that he has been scammed.. The man is the victim of this scam while woman is the only beneficiary of the spoils of this scam! Get in ur head that this is not going to work! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Lied About Her Age, What Should I Do? by splashbaby(m): 5:15am On Aug 21, 2015 |
Dannyabu:You are living and winning in lies. This lady has just ruined your life. It will take you seven years to recover and start all over again. She has destroyed the core foundation of your marriage... If you are still comfortable with lies continue. 2 Likes |
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