Whats all this stupid talks of the shameless old woman having a good personality and been a loving wife?

The stupid woman only put on that kind of personality in other to get her younger brother(the man) to
marry her because she knew age is not on her side and she is desperate.

The stupid shameless woman did not mind opening her legs for her younger brother just to get married.

Forget about all those pretence of been nice,obedience and humble....she is doing all that so that the age
thing will not show up.

A woman that can keep such a secret for 4 good years is not worth been a wife.

Divorce the old cargo and move on with your life and stop living with your mother as a wife.

What nonsense.

Dannyabu:
My Wife Lied About Her Age

Four years ago at 35, I married my wife, who I thought was 35. We both wanted children, but unfortunately, she had miscarriage in the second year and stillbirth in the third year. We began consulting a fertility specialist.

After she started asking questions, my wife admitted she is actually eight years older than she had led me to believe. She's 47 years old! She's cried and cried, begging for my forgiveness.

She's gone to try fertility treatments to get pregnant, but I don't want her to continue that for health reasons. I have forgiven her but as an African man; I'm NOT willing to consider the adoption option. She says, of course, that she feared I would walk away if I knew the truth, but she must have known it would come out sometime, somehow. I think I still love her, she is really a wife material, respectful, lovable and very industrious lady but I feel so betrayed! Letting a husband believe you're years younger than you are with all the implications for child-bearing, is a grotesque deception. Sometimes, I'm always wondering if some things she says are the truth. Moreover, after all the wahala and years in-between, her beauty has really waned. She now looks old! We have become butts of joke from neighbours and even strangers when they see us walking together. I look way younger than she is.

I think of getting another wife, but that has not been my person. I think of divorce, but where do I start? Have I wasted 4 years of my life just like that? We still have faith that miracles do happen. Our pastor has asked me to forgive her and move on, that my ability to forgive her will make her more loyal and obedient to me. She is a naturally good person, but for this act of deception.

Maybe if my wife had been honest with me from the beginning, knowing her age I would have adjusted my planning and expectations for children. But she lied. Should I prove her right in her assumption that when I found out the truth, I would walk away? Any thoughts on helping us get through this? I have given all my resources to make this marriage work.

I need matured and sincere advice please!

kudos for still loving...
For still loving, the only option might be adoption.
I wonder why a 'wife material' would tell such a dangerous lie.

Keep believing God OP miracles still happen.

Nsikann:

Guy this post by Abugab happens to be one of the best posts ever seen on this forum. I know of a woman that gave birth to a child when she was 60 yrs old in Abuja. If only you can reassure her of your love again and again and trust in the Lord with all your heart for a child. You will surely have kids. You don't need a miracle,kids will just come easily only if YOU TRUST IN THE LORD. If Sarah, Abraham's wife could give birth at the age of 90, I wonder which woman would not be able to bear kids. Don't divorce her or try having extra marital affairs. You will just worsen the situation. Wish you d best bro.

You are so so right.
Op should believe in God and his wife and all will be well

Dannyabu:
My Wife Lied About Her Age

Four years ago at 35, I married my wife, who I thought was 35. We both wanted children, but unfortunately, she had miscarriage in the second year and stillbirth in the third year. We began consulting a fertility specialist.

After she started asking questions, my wife admitted she is actually eight years older than she had led me to believe. She's 47 years old! She's cried and cried, begging for my forgiveness.

She's gone to try fertility treatments to get pregnant, but I don't want her to continue that for health reasons. I have forgiven her but as an African man; I'm NOT willing to consider the adoption option. She says, of course, that she feared I would walk away if I knew the truth, but she must have known it would come out sometime, somehow. I think I still love her, she is really a wife material, respectful, lovable and very industrious lady but I feel so betrayed! Letting a husband believe you're years younger than you are with all the implications for child-bearing, is a grotesque deception. Sometimes, I'm always wondering if some things she says are the truth. Moreover, after all the wahala and years in-between, her beauty has really waned. She now looks old! We have become butts of joke from neighbours and even strangers when they see us walking together. I look way younger than she is.

I think of getting another wife, but that has not been my person. I think of divorce, but where do I start? Have I wasted 4 years of my life just like that? We still have faith that miracles do happen. Our pastor has asked me to forgive her and move on, that my ability to forgive her will make her more loyal and obedient to me. She is a naturally good person, but for this act of deception.

Maybe if my wife had been honest with me from the beginning, knowing her age I would have adjusted my planning and expectations for children. But she lied. Should I prove her right in her assumption that when I found out the truth, I would walk away? Any thoughts on helping us get through this? I have given all my resources to make this marriage work.

I need matured and sincere advice please!

Whats all this silly talks of the shameless old woman having a good personality and been a loving wife?

The silly woman only put on that kind of personality in other to get her younger brother(the man) to
marry her because she knew age is not on her side and she is desperate.

The silly shameless woman did not mind opening her legs for her younger brother just to get married.

Forget about all those pretence of been nice,obedience and humble....she is doing all that so that the age
thing will not show up.

A woman that can keep such a secret for 4 good years is not worth been a wife.

Divorce the old cargo and move on with your life and stop living with your mother as a wife.

What nonsense.

Wow! 8 years ontop!! May the Lord help us! I really don't know why women lie about their age. A man who wants to be with you,will be with you irrespective of your age!! The one who wants to leave can leave! Why do women like to their partners about their age?? Why??

pappilo:
She is 43 not 47

Bros, the guy married her when he was 34. 34+8 = 42.
He is 39 today. 39+8 = 47.

Abeg calculate things well na.

prettyeyo:
Wow! 8 years ontop!! May the Lord help us! I really don't know why women lie about their age. A man who wants to be with you,will be with you irrespective of your age!! The one who wants to leave can leave! Why do women like to their partners about their age?? Why??

INSECURITY, FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN POSSIBILITY, DESPERATION, FAMILY OPPRESSION, YOUR FELLOW MATE ARE GETTING MARRY BUT YOU ARE NOT, SOCIALITY, CULTURE.

Orkpekyandega:

Good MATHEMATICIAN. A1 in Maths right. You must have been very good in solving 'Word Problems' during your Secondary School days.

I cant tell if youre being sarcastic or not lol, but if so I was just correcting the chap. If not, yeah I guess I was.. im still annoyed with my maths grade though, I should have tried harder

she didn't just lie to you, she deceived you and changed your whole life story. Bro, go ask God.

eph12:
Let's hear her own side of the story before we talk our own side of the story.

What do want to hear from her? You've not adviced one who complained and you want to hear from another

1acre:
I feel your pain having considered that at 31 she was 38 when you both got married.

Bro, never the less,give peace a chance.

Find your passion again and make sweet love to her without thinking of reproduction because the anxiety will not yield good fruits.

Start from the genuiness of your love and grow this once happy marriage again.

Ultimately, please forgive and love her again .it could be painful but please...

Give love a chance!!!

..
story...which kind stupid love is that....he should go and remarry pls....why should he live a fruitless life because of one old lier that knew fully well she is approaching menopause...oh pls..lets be fair..love is not everything...

buygala:
Op should stop crying over spilt milk and move on to try and impregnate a younger damsel....There are a lot of them these days who are ready to be baby mamas for the right price .... ask Olamide, Davido, Wizkid, etc

This is one of the few situations where Cheating is not only advisable but absolutely necessary..... A woman who can hide such a sensitive matter isn't worthy of being faithful to ..... op might as well divorce the woman and marry some younger blood if his conscience is too soft to allow him cheat


And for all those acting here all 'mature' and shitt , Being 'mature' by forgiving his wife isn't going to give him kids or undo the lie .... That marriage is irretrievably doomed because the dude will even start questioning the woman's 'Good Morning', and the woman will always feel guilty and victimized if any argument comes up in the house. ... THE PASTOR ISN'T GOING TO BE THERE WHEN ALL THE BAD BLOOD STARTS COMING OUT AFTER THE 'FORGIVENESS' ...... A WOMAN WHO CAN LIE LIKE DAT CAN EVEN KILL, AND DOESN'T DESERVE FORGIVENESS OR ANY SOFT LANDING OF ANY KIND

If God can forgive you all your sins why shouldn't he forgive her? Don't put assunder to what God has joined.

Op God forgives all our sins so forgive your wife. Sarah was 90yrs when she had a child and Abraham was 100years so both of you are still gonna have children. Children are gifts from God. Remember you said for better for was. Now it seems worst stay put and love your wife. She will bear you kids.

munas:

Whats all this silly talks of the shameless old woman having a good personality and been a loving wife?

The silly woman only put on that kind of personality in other to get her younger brother(the man) to
marry her because she knew age is not on her side and she is desperate.

The silly shameless woman did not mind opening her legs for her younger brother just to get married.

Forget about all those pretence of been nice,obedience and humble....she is doing all that so that the age
thing will not show up.

A woman that can keep such a secret for 4 good years is not worth been a wife.

Divorce the old cargo and move on with your life and stop living with your mother as a wife.

What nonsense.

....
he dosnt have to divorce her...but he needs to remarry...except he wants a life without the blessings of God *childreen*....that woman has pass through the menopause stage already.....the woman is a cheat...8 years is much oh for a guy without a child of his own....he should forget all those mumu girls shouting love here and there....to much of love movies has made them to loose the touch on reality

Larablink:
I feel ur pains,but how beautiful was she when you married her ,wasnt she aging.well age is just a number,forgive her and Forge ahead.put it in prayer.

Not a bad advice, maybe you're a forgiving person. But this a different scenario, the essence of marriage is procreation which is dependent on age. It's a fact which the woman is clearly aware of, but she still decided to deceive the unsuspecting man. The plan might be to get him so emotionally caged that he becomes in such dilemma as he is now. The man should just divorce her and remarry. If truly she is as virtuous as he described, at 35 (+ she ought to have been married.

Handsome4real:
Op God forgives all our sins so forgive your wife. Sarah was 90yrs when she had a child and Abraham was 100years so both of you are still gonna have children. Children are gifts from God. Remember you said for better for was. Now it seems worst stay put and love your wife. She will bear you kids.

....
be realistic guy....with God i can as well go im front of a moving train and expect my self to hold it to a still with the tip of my thumb...God can do all things good but at thesame time He gave us brain to use

iguita:
My brother (or boss as the case may be because you are certainly older), there is no perfect marriage. Please forgive her and move on with life. When God is set to surprise you, you will run away because your house go full with kids. Protect her against any other influence, if necessary adopt. Yoruba proverb says with person wey born and person wey no born na pikin go bury am.

..
people are funny...do you know you are talking about a man,s life.....?. what sort of Godforsaken love that will make you marry an over age woman that has reached menopause knowing fully well she might never have a child...it like youre bringing doom upon your self and expecting God to help you..am not saying he should divorce the woman..but he neef to marry another that would bear him kids...God created us to multiply pls

Terenceike:



What do want to hear from her? You've not adviced one who complained and you want to hear from another

Well am not like the average Nigerian that's always quick to criticize and pass judgement. I prefer to hear from the accused before i give my own comment. It has happened before on NL. The thread made fp. A guy was accusing the wife not knowing she was on nl too. But before she saw the thread people like you have said all sorts of nonsense. It was when she told her own story that we realized that they were both greatly at fault. So bro continue advising o.

nonjebose:
I have come across ladies who have spent their years grooving, and who insist that they want to get married to guys much younger than them.

This lady didn't seem like she particularly wanted a younger guy, just a guy.. if she had landed a guy 8 years older than her it would have been better for her self

8years is too much nah.... What a deceitful woman.. Woman!

Tankotanko:


I wonder, if your assertions were correct, then she could have been only 42 years at time of marriage. Your semen/ sp&rm might not have been that strong, as this her age in the beginning poses less strain towards taking in. The challenges she encountered as mentioned in the write-up are good pointers of poor/weak sp&rm power. Do a nice consultation on your self to forestall further damages.

?! He successfully impregnated the lady twice in 2 years...what else do you want

But I agree he should test his own sperm...however the fact that the child was stillborn is not to do with the fellow...if they had known how old she was in the first place the doctor would have been able to adapt the kind of medical care and checks she was receiving

Even if the lady wanted to lie, she would have codedly gone to the doctor and informed him/her of her real age to make sure herself and the baby received the appropriate medical attention..thats how we can know for sure that she was going out of her mind with desperation because she could have died receiving the care meant for a woman in her late 30s..gosh I cant stop following this thread..its just very educative

Please, everybody, myself included, when we eventually marry make effort to go to the lady's/guy's place and find out everything there is to know about that guy...the only place you cant lie about things, your age especially is the village since everything is done according to age...plus there is always one village person who is bursting with secrets..if you find out by yourself you will probably be less angry.. and the guy would be secretly relieved that the thing is already out

Its your statement rather that's retarded because you just assumed that every 60 year old man is fertile! Since when did infertility become limited to women alone? Read to understand before commenting

Sunymoore:

This is simply retarded_ A Man at 60 can still impregnate a woman... So tuning tables around in this case is practically not applicable...
Mr. Man, it's either you adopt a child, or if you really want your blood, then marry another woman or get a baby mama.. These are your options...
Since you love your wife, let her be.

Dannyabu:
Should I prove her right in her assumption that when I found out the truth, I would walk away?

You can prove her right in her assumption that you will stay if she lies to you

dinachi:
@ Op the issue is straight foward enough. You actually have two options. Leave or stay. In this case both are correct but let me make some points clear to you first.
1, She does not love you! Do not be decieved, she loves the social security of marriage not you as a person. She lied to protect what she loves.
2, She is not humble. She is proud. Proud people lie to protect their fake status. A humble woman will tell you the true situation. That is humility!
3, She is very selfish. She only cares about herself, only her hapiness not yours matters to her that is why she lied to protect ONLY herself!
4, Lastly, she is not loyal. Loyal people strive to protect the subject of their loyalty in this case you but it was never about you, it was all about her and how to manipulate you to marry her.

Now you have all you need to make the right decision and may God help you!

Thank you, you spoke my mind. To add to your point,she put up a good character to cover up for the tsunami lie and to make decision making difficult for you if you later found out. God will help you to make right decision but don't base it on the premise that she is a good wife material. You can't be a liar and be nasty/nagging at the same time(it makes decision easier).
How you didn't discover before wedding still beat me though.

Gurgle:


This lady didn't seem like she particularly wanted a younger guy, just a guy.. if she had landed a guy 8 years older than her it would have been better for her self

Remember that she was 8 yrs older. The guy must have told her his age, or she must have asked him. There is no way issues of age would not been mentioned. I know of someone that is presently doubting his wife's age. The guy is also worried that the 3yrs seniority he thought he has over is less than 2 yrs. We are not even sure that it is 7yrs

nonjebose:
Remember that she was 8 yrs older. The guy must have told her his age, or she must have asked him. There is no way issues of age would not been mentioned. I know of someone that is presently doubting his wife's age. The guy is also worried that the 3yrs seniority he thought he has over is less than 2 yrs. We are not even sure that it is 7yrs

I understand. What im saying is that I don't think the lady was actively scoping for a younger guy, it seems like OP was showing interest and she went for it

If OP was older than her she would have still gone for him and probably still lied...the issue is mostly about the fact that she has a low chance of being able to bear children which is intrinsically linked with her age...but it would be better since their looks would tally more

She just wanted to marry and got OP in the process by whatever means necessary

Xmen149:

lol ,and that they sacrifice women around their 40s every year for sacrifice..last year was his turn and if it pass this year they will kill him instead...................u will see bolt is a learner

lol yes ooh

sonofananimal:
I WONDER IF YOU ARE IN HIS SHOE, WILL YOU DID WHAT YOU JUST WRITE?

IT IS VERY EASY TO TALK BUT HARD TO PRACTICE WHAT YOU TALK.



IT IS VERY EASY TO GIVE ADVICE WHICH MAY SOUND SWEET AND INTERESTING TO HEAR BUT VERY STILL HARD TO DO.


BE HONEST TO YOURSELF! WILL YOU STILL LIVE WITH THAT WOMAN IF YOU DISCOVER THIS BIG SECRET?

Brother let me tell u something. I have seen what God has done in my life and I know there is nothing God cannot do. As far as the guy still loves his wife despite all that, they can still work something out. Stop living in the presence that there is a perfect marriage like u see on TV. Later on u will hear that they have parted ways. Look there are certain things even u will discover about ur wife later after ur marriage that will startle u look at this scenario what if u were impotent or have anger problem. Had a bad life in ur past and ever since repented or u simply a weakling and after many failed relationships u desperately need some one you will love you the way u are. Is it not likely u will lie? Yes I know it is a delicate matter as regards children. But this is reality. My cousin married someone who is 5 yrs older than him. Good they have children he discovered that she was older than him that didn't kill the marriage

because u r living in the comfort of ur house u don't know what will be ur own problem tomorrow cos no one is perfect. U will want someone who will love you the way u are so I am telling u what I will do if it were me but it will be a hard step. That is what marriage is all about. Abi?

deadZONE:
It does not hurt, why would the words of a mentally enslaved
billy-goat hurt me? the OP is as dumb as hell, when he meet her didnt he notice
she looked older than him? all of a sudden is after she confessed he noticed it and his neighbors
began mocking them. his a victim to his predicaments he should shut dafuck up and face his life
his not the only Nigerian with problems.

Lol... I'm not surprised at all. Shows that you re a tout and a lowlife. Won't trade words with you anymore cos you re not worth it.

hamzeiy:
....
be realistic guy....with God i can as well go im front of a moving train and expect my self to hold it to a still with the tip of my thumb...God can do all things good but at thesame time He gave us brain to use

You don't have faith.

DANNYABU
It is a pity that people are making jokes or gestured on this serious issued.
If i may talk,one of the reason why men do marry women below their age is a to be respected,but if u can still get that from the woman that is older than and you are still having happy home its not too bad..
In your statement you made mention some important point and good attribute that your wife possess,meaning that if that your wife give the adequate respect and all of those attribute their in no problem.
But ,what is the excess of marry the age mate or below your age and you are not to happy because of her arrogant and rudeness and so bad attitude.
In my conclusion, age is noting and age is barrier.what is important in marriage is love and happy home.close your ear from what people say and move on.
GOD WILL BLESS YOU

Gurgle:


I cant tell if youre being sarcastic or not lol, but if so I was just correcting the chap. If not, yeah I guess I was.. im still annoyed with my maths grade though, I should have tried harder

Sarcastic as in mockery, mock or convey contempt? No way. If you were very observant, you did discover that so many many people here got the age of a thing wrong, only few persons got it right in their analysis. I got an average grade in Maths as well during my SSCE Exams. But I think I deserved more because I loved Mathematics and made it one of hobbies up till to day.
I bash people on NL so to say, I must also comment when people impress me in my area of interest. interest