My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.

We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.

She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.

4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.

I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

aww,so sorry marital counsellors whatcha gone say?

To express my feelings

taiiremide:


Why using such derogatory words

ItsQuinn:
To express my feelings

Feelings, how. Am trying to make her happy

I dnt undastnd some women tho...

And she's not even trying to make you happy, where is the sense or logic in that?

taiiremide:


Feelings, how. Am trying to make her happy

Bro you are too cold....expect more from this ur wife

taiiremide:
My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.
We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.
She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.
4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.
I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

arthurshelly:
Bro you are too cold....expect more from this ur wife

Believe me, am not cold. I'll never take her back. I just want my kids

Haaaaa! Just like that? This is what happens when one pitches one's tent with obnoxious inconsiderate people! Please honour her folk's invite... Maybe her side of the story is different from yours. It is well...Good luck.

In you statement here you said she went to osogbo to visit ur sister and she fell in love with oshogbo.she mount pressure on you to relocate oshogbo and you agree"after some month or weeks she complain about oshogbo again.she is confused type.i expect you to notice all this during ur marriage...i have this question for you...have you let her know that you want to see ur kids?did you know where she stay at present?I will advice you to take I kids since you complain that she do treat ur kids arrogantl when she still with you..am very sure ur kids will be wrought handle more since she away with you

taiiremide:

Believe me, am not cold. I'll never take her back. I just want my kids

Go through the court process to get your kids, or at least have a shared custody arrangement

The courts will decide how to do that. Either they live with you while she pays you child support (good luck with that as she's jobless), and they go spend the holidays with their mother, or they live with their mother and you pay child support (for their living expenses, and always pay their school fees personally yourself and keep your receipts) while they spend the holidays with you.

And always call to speak to your children at least every other day.

eyinjuege:
Go through the court process to get your kids, or at least have a shared custody arrangement

The courts will decide how to do that. Either they live with you while she pays you child support (good luck with that as she's jobless), and they go spend the holidays with their mother, or they live with their mother and you pay child support (for their living expenses, and always pay their school fees personally yourself and keep your receipts) while they spend the holidays with you.

And always call to speak to your children at least every other day.

Dint you think court process too early now?

arthurshelly:


Dint you think court process too early now?

Well, it's not something that'll happen overnight, and it takes a long time.
It may not be sorted out in a year sef. So the earlier you start the proceedings, the better. It can always be halted if they're no longer interested in proceeding with the process

In the mean time, let him be going to check his children regularly. I understand they're in different states.
It's better there are laid down rules on custody arrangements for the children, so that no party will feel cheated. That's why I suggested the courts.

It up to him and his wife to decide if there's still anything in the relationship for them, and if issues can be resolved. They're both adults, and I don't know anything about the dynamics of their relationship. They know better.

ItsQuinn:
And she's not even trying to make you happy, where is the sense or logic in that?

Can you please go back to the romance section and wag your little tail for the irresponsible boys there? This place is obviously not for you.

.........
Op, I can only tell you to explore settlement. I don't think folding your hands and waiting for her to come back is the best option. You may have to reach out to her before things degenerate to a place of no return.

Hopefully, this doesn't end up in court.

Wishing you the best.

taiiremide:

Believe me, am not cold. I'll never take her back. I just want my kids

Ah, giving up so soon?

I pray this ends up in court and he gets full custody of his kids

Gaborone:


Can you please go back to the romance section and wag your little tail for the irresponsible boys there? This place is obviously not for you.

.........
Op, I can only tell you to explore settlement. I don't think folding your hands and waiting for her to come back is the best option. You may have to reach out to her before things degenerate to a place of no return.

Hopefully, this doesn't end up in court.

Wishing you the best.

ItsQuinn:
I pray this ends up in court and he gets full custody of his kids

What happens if they end up sorting out their issues, coming back together, and the kids have both parents under the same roof again

Is your coconut head able to grasp and understand how beneficial the above would be to both of them, the kids, and the society at large?

Gaborone:


Can you please go back to the romance section and wag your little tail for the irresponsible boys there? This place is obviously not for you.

.........
Op, I can only tell you to explore settlement. I don't think folding your hands and waiting for her to come back is the best option. You may have to reach out to her before things degenerate to a place of no return.

Hopefully, this doesn't end up in court.

Wishing you the best.

Thank you so much Gaborone. She took my kids to her parent's house, they're there as I speak, but my mother warned me not to step my foot in their house as they're planning something evil. I know my mother very well, she can never be wrong. I asked my ex wife to bring my kids to eatery atleast to discuss how we're going to take good care of the kids, schooling, shelter, feeding etc. But she and her family insisted I come over to their house if I want to see my kids.

Gaborone:


What happens if they end up sorting out their issues, coming back together, and the kids have both parents under the same roof again

Is your coconut head able to grasp and understand how beneficial the above would be to both of them, the kids, and the society at large?

if they end up sorting out their issues, good for them ....and what does the society have to do with their marital life or benefit from their marital life?

Bros I have someone very close who is going the same issue as you the only difference is they where not married,but where together for some many years and kids where involved too,...the man tried everything he could to get his kids he couldn't ,infact the woman he did n,t even know where she was for months.believe me your kids are not suffering,leave their your wife to her conscience, she will soon understand that it's not easy training kids alone.i understand you are missing them badly and you think you can,t live without them(you can)pickup yourself and when it's time tour kids will come back to your..best of luck

millyj:
Bros I have someone very close who is going the same issue as you the only difference is they where not married,but where together for some many years and kids where involved too,...the man tried everything he could to get his kids he couldn't ,infact the woman he did n,t even know where she was for months.believe me your kids are not suffering,leave their your wife to her conscience, she will soon understand that it's not easy training kids alone.i understand you are missing them badly and you think you can,t live without them(you can)pickup yourself and when it's time tour kids will come back to your..best of luck

True words
Only she go waka Come your house, begging for forgiveness.
Your Wife think its easy to train Kids , without any source of income.. Smiles
Just be patient...

taiiremide:


Thank you so much Gaborone. She took my kids to her parent's house, they're there as I speak, but my mother warned me not to step my foot in their house as they're planning something evil. I know my mother very well, she can never be wrong.I asked my ex wife to bring my kids to eatery atleast to discuss how we're going to take good care of the kids, schooling, shelter, feeding etc. But she and her family insisted I come over to their house if I want to see my kids.

Are you divorced already?

But seriously OP, how can your wife just wake up one day and say she's not interested in the marriage again? Just like that
And her parents seem to be in support?

What exactly went wrong in the marriage?
It's such a strange story.

Don't let anyone take advantage of your vulnerability though. If at all you have to go to her parents house to see your children, don't go alone.

Her family may be scared that you would forcefully take the children from her if she meets you alone at an eatery.

millyj:
Bros I have someone very close who is going the same issue as you the only difference is they where not married,but where together for some many years and kids where involved too,...the man tried everything he could to get his kids he couldn't ,infact the woman he did n,t even know where she was for months.believe me your kids are not suffering,leave their your wife to her conscience, she will soon understand that it's not easy training kids alone.i understand you are missing them badly and you think you can,t live without them(you can)pickup yourself and when it's time tour kids will come back to your..best of luck

Wow. You just healed my wounds. God bless u.

Gaborone:


What happens if they end up sorting out their issues, coming back together, and the kids have both parents under the same roof again

Is your coconut head able to grasp and understand how beneficial the above would be to both of them, the kids, and the society at large?

Thank you for educating lil Miss sunshine for us

Jesus!!! This woman is a witch. Why drag you to osogbo where the opotunities are limited. Making you waste all your money when she had plans to dump you. I have never seen or heard of this height of wickedness. My god!!!

eyinjuege:
But seriously OP, how can your wife just wake up one day and say she's not interested in the marriage again? Just like that
And her parents seem to be in support?

What exactly went wrong in the marriage?
It's such a strange story.

Don't let anyone take advantage of your vulnerability though. If at all you have to go to her parents house to see your children, don't go alone.

Her family may be scared that you would forcefully take the children from her if she meets you alone at an eatery.

Bro. Pls read again, we never had a fight before she left for Lagos. The only serious issue we had was when I saw 'call me back I love you' on her phone, I challenged her and she accused me of suspecting her, that I don't trust her. The second one was when my mum ask my son to go home with her, my wife stopped my mum, saying my nephew will beat him. I told my mum she can go with my son. She also accused me of putting my family above her, that I only respect my family that her opinion doesn't count, which isn't true. I love but I won't allow her to disrespect my mother.

veave:
Jesus!!! This woman is a witch. Why drag you to osogbo where the opotunities are limited. Making you waste all your money when she had plans to dump you. I have never seen or heard of this height of wickedness. My god!!!

Na so I see am Ó. All to make her happy. She left me in 3bed room, no one to talk with, so lonely.

Pidggin:

Are you divorced already?

She said she doesn't want me anymore.

taiiremide:


She said she doesn't want me anymore.

It doesn't mean you are divorced. What do you want? If you still want the marriage why not involve people she respects. She can't just decide the marriage is over, tell her parents and relatives what she is doing