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Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? - Religion (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:02pm On Oct 23, 2016
Tallesty1:
A good Christian follows Bible principles not churches doctrine.


But what does the Bible say here?



@OP, I'M yet to come across a chapter in bible that says you "you must not marry more than one wife".

The only place I have seen so far that seems to be completely against it is Deutronomy 17:17 and the verse is for Kings not a common man.


Polygamy as far as I am concerned was not God’s original plan for mankind but it was also something He allowed in the Bible so if I have two wives like you do, I am keeping two of them because I am sure I didn't break any scripture.

The reason we condemn polygamy is because we rarely find the system doing any good. Everything that is said about it in the past shows it causes troubles. That has not changed. Today polygamy still causes many marriage problems for those who practice it.

But if you can handle it then stick to it, though you will never become a leader in the church but it is inhumane and selfish to reject someone you have vowed to love till eternity because of a leadership position in the church.

In the beginning, God made them male and female. Not male and females. Therefore shall man leave father and mother and joined to the wife two of them shall become one not two. It is one man one wife.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by jodreamer(m): 2:02pm On Oct 23, 2016
Dear Op, I believe you already have the truth in your heart, but you need people on nairaland to justify you. Well here is the truth, you will always find people to justify you. But at the end, we all we face our judgement alone and no one to blame.

After knowing Christ, you have to do away with the former life style and let your life conform to the doctrine of Christ - one man one wife is one of them.

Do the needful, if you are mindful of heaven that nothing stand against you on judgement day.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:03pm On Oct 23, 2016
Eyekandi:
Wife no.1 is the original wife, you will have to let the second go.


100% right

1 Like

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:06pm On Oct 23, 2016
Tallesty1:
What made her the original wife??

It's one man one wife right from creation. But out of lost or greed man compromised. The first wife is the original and authentic wife.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:07pm On Oct 23, 2016
JackBizzle:


A woman is saying this?

See why Nigeria is a useless country? undecided

She's telling you the truth you cannot handle.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Flashh: 2:07pm On Oct 23, 2016
JackBizzle:



A woman is saying this?


[s]See why Nigeria is a useless country? undecided[/s]
Because of one person's opinion,you had to reply with that trash?

Stupidity lives in your blood.

2 Likes

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:09pm On Oct 23, 2016
JackBizzle:



When a church preaches nonsense does that mean that one should lock up his/her brain and regurgitate the nonsense? undecided


Her comment is a symptom of the disease that Nigerians suffer from- over-religiousity; a refusal to reason when it comes to religion


Jesus said that the law was made for man and not the man made for laws. There is always a time that the laws will not suffice for justice and peace to reign. This is why one has to temper justice with mercy.


Does divorcing the second wife show mercy to her? Does the church's preaching show her mercy?


In correcting a mistake you don't show mercy. The correction itself is the mercy here.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:12pm On Oct 23, 2016
Topgainer:

Usual creed of 'Holier than thou' assemblies. They give more laws, rules and regulations than God. The world would have been a disaster if these assemblies were allowed to write their own Bibles and pass it across as God's laws.
Op, there is nothing like restitution that says you should send your second wife and her children away.
2.There is nowhere in the Bible that says because you have a second wife you are disqualified from making Heaven.
3. There is no place that Jesus has said he doesn't love you and has condemned you to Hell just because you have a second wife.
However, you can't serve God as Bishop or Pastor in a Church because leading a polygamous family is enough headache on its own as to afford you the time to lead a Church. It will mock the church as much as a drunk preacher will do
But then
If you ensure that righteousness, peace, justice and godliness rules in your home; that any conflicts that may arise are resolved amicably, you are not seen to always favour one over the other, that the younger wife respects the older, you home will be enjoyed by all the inhabitants and you will make Heaven before many of the holier than thou family men.
Also, Please and Please, If you are in a Church that insists that you send your second wife and children away before they will accept you and stopped calling you a sinner, Leave that place.
There are Churches who will appreciate your repentance and good qualities on its present merit. Christianity doesn't continue to input your past mistakes or make unnecessary demands upon you.
In Acts of Apostles, some holier than thou brethren came up with law that Gentiles must be circumcised (according to Jewish laws and traditions) to be accepted as brethren but thankgod for the Apostles who used wisdom to resolve the matter eventually. Such that Adults were not forced to do circumcision but children born subsequently to the gentiles were circumcised.
PMail me, I will recommend some Churches for you that will not go on condeming you or demanding some foolish man made restitutions

What do you know about righteousness and Holiness?. Correcting a mistake is not condemnation.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Cadaemy: 2:13pm On Oct 23, 2016
You know it is wrong for a Christian to have more than one wife and u still want a justification for what is wrong? U have to put out the second woman but u can still take of her and your children.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by clitah: 2:14pm On Oct 23, 2016
You people are dwelling too much on scripture.
Stop fucking one first.
Leave her kpomo from now on.
Let us start from there.
That is the only time i will read your post with seriousness.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Emeritusseun(m): 2:14pm On Oct 23, 2016
evansjeff:
I know this is not allowed in Christianity, and it has always been a cause of worry to me, any hopes of making heaven? both having kids for me already, fellow nairalanders and Christians...help a wondering heart.


help move this to Front page please
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:15pm On Oct 23, 2016
Eyekandi:
Wife no.1 is the original wife, you will have to let the second go.

Go where Sist. grin

When God made them he made them man and woman agreed. But is it not in the Bible that David had more than one wives and he was the man after God's heart?. Several others in the old Testament had more than one wife and it was not counted unto them as sin.

Now did Jesus say man must not marry more than one wife? No.
He only said when God made them He made them man and woman. Because God mad them man and woman is it compulsory for man to have a woman? No.

As long as it is not compulsory for man to marry it is not also compulsory for him to marry only one wife.
When Paul was writing to Timothy

1 Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;


1 Timothy 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.



Titus 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;


There are many things that came with Christianity that are culture of the missionaries that brought it, perhaps if the Europeans that brought the Lords Religion were Polygamous, we would have believed differently in the area of marriage.

Do you know why many Christian wives are not submissive today? Because of some beliefs that are not in the Bible that are being preached by preachers.

1. A Christian can't marry more than one wife
2. Once you marry a Christian woman you can't divorce her unless if caught on adultry.

So many have become source of pain and sorrow to their husbands and the poor man is afraid to file for divorce, small time the man has developed Hbp and He just slumped and die at a tender age and the woman he was afraid to divorce after shedding Crocodile Tears for some months starts dating another man

There is no where in the Bible where it is stated that it is a sin for a Christian to marry two wives so my dear brother carry go with the women as long as they have accepted Jesus into their lives the only thing is you can't have any post in the Church.
Chikena

1 Like

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Topgainer: 2:16pm On Oct 23, 2016
DukeNija:


+100000

Its either he wants to make heaven or satisfy the society. The second marriage was not recognized by God in the first place.
Are you God?
Put it better the second marriage was not recognized by my 'holier than thou' @ lord also called Pastor in the first place.
My holier than thou Pastor now choses who will enter heaven although he is not sure of Heaven himself. He interprets the Bible to suit his ego and Keeps the keys to Hell Gates. Continue from here
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:16pm On Oct 23, 2016
lonelydora:
You have done nothing wrong. You will make heaven. Continue doing what is right. Divorce itself is not allowed except on adultery which you must seek the consent of your pastor and other people too.

Solomon = 300 wives + 700 concubines


But at the end Solomon regretted and said 'Vanity of vanity, all is vanity. ecc 1:2.

1 Like

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sharpwriter(m): 2:17pm On Oct 23, 2016
HARDDON:
What a dicey one!

If we send the younger one with her kids away like Abraham did( tru restitution), we might hv another form of ISIS n the likes. Even if we rent another apartment for them, care for them, how do we divorce her?
If we cant divorce her, how do we keep caring for all her needs (both emotionally n sexually?). We cant n unfortunately, another cant. What a limbo.


If we decide to maintain statues quo n just live like one big happy family, heaven might elude us.


Solution:

Explain to the younger one why u need to do this: dissolve the spiritually illegal marriage but make sure they lack nothing. Rent a nice apartment for them. That way, u wudnt owe her any sexual responsibility nor wud u bind her down from meeting n marrying another.
Even after that, care for ur kids

Rubbish.... So heaven will elude them? Who made you judge... I preached this your thought before, but when I became more mature, I understood that God is not an author of confusion.... It is wrong to put anyone away after you receive Jesus.... You shall continue with your husband duties to both and educate your children concerning such for future. People in church have turned God to an obstinate devil without reasoning and compassion.... So putting the second wife away is the gospel of peace and deliverance abi? Will it not even make the other woman and her children hate God.... God didn't create our brain for nothing, use it for both spiritual and physical understanding!
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Chigold101(m): 2:17pm On Oct 23, 2016
evansjeff:
I know this is not allowed in Christianity, and it has always been a cause of worry to me, any hopes of making heaven? both having kids for me already, fellow nairalanders and Christians...help a wondering heart.


help move this to Front page please
dont send any of them away.
If u send the woman away, who keeps the children?
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:18pm On Oct 23, 2016
Okite15:


You are off point. dats not his scenario na







that can be a likely scenario so don't say I'm off point,everyone is entitled to his opinion...
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:18pm On Oct 23, 2016
nmreports:
Tough... I love harddon response.
Dissolve the marriage but be responsible for everything. Very important. This may have to be the woman's cross for marrying someone else's husband.
I think.

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sekundosekundo: 2:19pm On Oct 23, 2016
notoriousbabe:
says who? And you call yourself a woman. Thank God you are not god


Accept the truth and be saved.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by JackBizzle: 2:22pm On Oct 23, 2016
sekundosekundo:


In correcting a mistake you don't show mercy. The correction itself is the mercy here.


In other words, you dish out justice mercilessly. You must be God.


Ignoramus!

1 Like

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Zedoo(m): 2:24pm On Oct 23, 2016
Let all this talk end once and for all!!

Ladies......get prepared....

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by HaroldFinch(m): 2:27pm On Oct 23, 2016
evansjeff:
I know this is not allowed in Christianity, and it has always been a cause of worry to me, any hopes of making heaven? both having kids for me already, fellow nairalanders and Christians...help a wondering heart.


help move this to Front page please

There is nothing in the Bible that forbids having two wives. On the contrary, several accounts in the Bible shows having more than one wife is lawful. Enjoy your life. If you divorce anyone of the wives, trust me, it won't be fair in the eyes of man and God.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Forwetinnah: 2:30pm On Oct 23, 2016
lonelydora:
You have done nothing wrong. You will make heaven. Continue doing what is right. Divorce itself is not allowed except on adultery which you must seek the consent of your pastor and other people too.

Solomon = 300 wives + 700 concubines

Wish I could give this post a million likes. ..

1 Like

Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 2:38pm On Oct 23, 2016
if God condemned polygamy, he would hv told Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon , and these are men after Gods own heart, also God wouldn't hv designed females to outnumber d male population, d only cogent reason not to marry more than 1 wife z economy, not religion ,so if u hv d money and the women re comfortable with it, then go ahead,
Judge this*Church refused to wed a woman that got pregnant for her husband and agreed to wed the woman that secretly aborted her pregnancy, Same Church refused to baptize a man that z legally married to 2wives but agreed to baptize a man that married to 1wife and secretly sleeps around with other girls/women, what an irony.
#TheBible and d Holy Ghost is my guide, not the church, they hv made some rules that re outside d Bible.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sharpwriter(m): 2:44pm On Oct 23, 2016
d33types:
@ evansjeff, Who said it's not allowed? Give clear scriptures to back up your point.

Don't even give the excuse of "a man and his wife becomes one"
Monogamy is simply cultural and not religious, besides the bible never condemned any polygamist either directly or indirectly

So if a man drops his second wife who is eg 25yrs, she will remarry or stay single for life? So her sexual live will be doomed for eternity cos of one foolish mans mistake?

HARDDON, Hagar fled from Abraham's wife. Abraham didn't send her away.get your facts right.
Yea... You are right but I wouldn't say hagar fled from Abraham's house, the issue of Abraham, Sarah and hagar is a different one because Abraham relationship with hagar wasn't by faith.... God promised a child to Sarah from the womb of Sarah herself not her maid hagar.... God encouraged Abraham to send Hagar away not because of polygamy but because of God's promise and covenant unto Abraham and Sarah... So Isaac was to be the legitimate heir.... Abraham married keturah after Sarah's death and Genesis 25:6 showed us that Abraham had sons and concubines apart from keturah... So I agree with you about not sending the second wife away
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Ajeyo(m): 2:48pm On Oct 23, 2016
Divorcing one for the other is your choice,what the Bible talks about the matter is that if you marry more than one wife,you can not be a worker or ordained a minister,Chikena,but,this should not be a leeway for anybody that loves God because if everybody follows that way,who will serve in the church?.
evansjeff:
I know this is not allowed in Christianity, and it has always been a cause of worry to me, any hopes of making heaven? both having kids for me already, fellow nairalanders and Christians...help a wondering heart.


help move this to Front page please
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by alan333(m): 2:51pm On Oct 23, 2016
Brother,Matthew19vs4 says:have you not read that he which made them at the begining made the MALE/FEMALE?meaning-there's one of the two wives which is compactable or most compactable,i.e.your true love.

Solution-among this two wives,one should be the bone of your ribs according to Genesis2vs21-24!findout which one of them is your truest love and dissolve your marriage with the other,be it the 1st or 2nd,either of them:however,you must continue to take care of the bond-woman and her son,i.e.the unlucky wife untill she remarry and is settled and if possible compensate her duely for incoveniences and let her go.
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sharpwriter(m): 2:52pm On Oct 23, 2016
nmreports:
Tough...
I love harddon response.

Dissolve the marriage but be responsible for everything.
Very important.
This may have to be the woman's cross for marrying someone else's husband.

I think.
The woman's cross you say? When it's assumed that the 3 of them weren't Christians before? You can only blame the second wife if she knew God before marrying the second husband... And please, she's not even subject to judgment until she knows what she's doing, I said this because with few experiences I have seen in this life, there are set of people who have very weak and frail minds concerning their decisions in life, such many a times don't even know when they do or say wrong concerning issues until you tell them... They are very simple and they admit their faults once they are shown... Such are not subject to judgment!
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Akolawole(m): 3:03pm On Oct 23, 2016
More clarity is needed .....

Legally married to 2 ladies in Court?

Legally married to 2 ladies as a Muslim or

Legally married to 2 Ladies traditionally?
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by sharpwriter(m): 3:09pm On Oct 23, 2016
OmaHomes:
First! All of you telling him to stick with d two women that they men of God who married more than 1 wife, advisin him that he's gonna make heaven with two wives, just have in mind that if dis man dies today, without repentin, his sins and blood is gonna be on all of u head. I din say that d bible said it. U see a blind man about falling into a bit and u let him, his blood is gonna be on ur head. Even d bible said, unto a man is a woman and unto a woman is a man, he never said unto a man is women. Read ur new testament pls, befored giving d wrong advice about d bible to sum1. What reason do u have to marry 2wives? Nd whatever reason it is, It has to be 1 woman, 1 man. That is what d bible said. U have to let d second wife go, be friends with her and her kids. And pls, all of u quotin d old testament. Go and study ur bible and understand, don't just read for reading sake. Enjoy ur day
I don't wanna be rude but I will kindly advise you to go pray for discernment and spirit of justice or justness... Go learn the new testament very well (the basics), then come back and comment.... With this your judgment, you can't judge men not to talk of judging angels as will be in the world to come!
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 3:13pm On Oct 23, 2016
Alryt listen if U want to hear where in d Bible do God,Christ,the Apostles or prophets use plural for wife dey r all singular read d following scripture n get understanding matt 19 vs 29, mark 10 vs 29-30,1 Tim 3 vs 2, 1cor 7 vs 2, Luke 16 vs 18, Prov 18 vs 22, 1 Tim 3 v 12, matt 5 vs 32, Eph 5 vs 33 Titus 1 vs 6, an so on,dree r so many dat clearly stated dat U can't marry 2 wives.
tempex88:


U that understand, where is ur comment. I don't know why it is difficult for some people like you to be to be civilized. I aired my opinion, air urs or is something keeping ur mouth shut?
Re: Legally Married To Two Wives Before Knowing God, What Should I Do? by Chudichu(m): 3:15pm On Oct 23, 2016
Eyekandi:


It seems I don't understand, now he is a Christian, its to follow the Christian doctrine on it now, abi

The Bible actually doesn't encourage polygamy, but in this case I just feel sending away the second wife, would do more harm than good,would the man divorce the second wife, for no just curse. I'm Anglican, if a man has more than one wife, he is not allowed to hold positions in church,but he is not encourage to send away the second wife.

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