makydebbie:
It depends tho, it doesn't affect all. It has to do with the mentality of the family members.

The annoying one is, parents giving birth to plenty kids with, "God will provide" mentality.

Curdlebug:
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WITH HUMILITY

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Nyceguy92:
I don't know how the OP arrived at her conclusions but I beg to disagree.
In every family, there is hierarchy and each level, from the oldest to the youngest child, has its expected roles and responsibilities.

I do not agree that a parent would, without some form of empowerment in the form of education or vocational training, totally transfer the burden of catering to the younger ones to the eldest. You would be talking of a family where the man is a loafer, a drunkard.
Or a case where both parents are debilitated and can no longer earn a living.

The case the OP quoted must be a very peculiar one.

The first child is a mini parent. He/she guides and looks after the younger ones, including buying them items.
These are roles they happily assume, even without being asked to do so.

But that does not mean the parents have taken their hands off their statutory responsibilities.
Or what would they be doing with their money if they have it?

Afam4eva:
I've seen people bringing up this school of thought more frequently recently and i think it' imperative that i add my 2cents.

We have become very stingy and greedy generation. These days people just want to enjoy by themselves without anybody to fend for.

As much as i believe that the burden should be reduced on the first borns, it's important to note that almost every good thng of life usually accrues to first born but educationally, financialy etc in order for them to come out better human beings and be able to fend for the younger ones who weren't as privileged.

For them to now come out when they have "Made it" and start complaining is selfish in my opinion. We're not American for fvck sake. Our families are our lives. We have to take care of them until they stand on their own feet.

sexybbstar:
Nigerian parents...

It is very wrong and sentimental to give birth to children and think the oldest will take care of them. They didn't force you to bring them into this world; you did the konji, you ushered them in, please it's still your work to take care of them and no, when you're taking care of your children, its not a privilege, it's their right, it's what they deserve, so do it with all manner of responsibility and commitment.

An acquaintance of mine was suicidal last week because of the burden of his family on him. He's the first child and is 38 yet unmarried and almost has nothing standing, why?
He started hustling at 23 for his ungrateful siblings. His parents said it's his responsibility to do so.
To fend for them..
To give them a life..
So it's made his life almost a waste of time for himself..
Working profusely for others, who don't even care, who own it up like it's their right..
He was supposed to get married at 29 but crucibles of life's experience in the confines of the pressurised burden of taking care of his adult siblings didn't let him.

Tell me,
What freaking culture validates this nonsense practice?

Many Nigerian parents just produce children and give one the responsibility of what they caused.
Give birth to one if it's one you can take care of..
Parenting isn't about how many children you have but how well you treat them, how much can you groom them?

Quantity is needless when resources is unavailable..
Stop producing children by faith.
Stop heaping needless responsibilities on children that should plan their lives and focus.
Give all your children equal opportunity to face their lives and career.
Ain't saying they shouldn't help each other,
It's called ‘HELP’ not ‘RESPONSIBILITY’
Help is out of love or compassion..It's voluntary.
Your eldest child is not an assistant parent.
Yes, they are supposed to do well, and have others follow their legacy..
But having them feel forcefully committed to solving the problems of their siblings; that's way too ridiculous.

Many first children don't live long because of the pressure, the load, the burden, and even on top of it, these folks feel so entitled to being fed and given everything they ask.
I understand that all these play out as a result of frustration and inability to fend for your children, and that's why I'm attacking the root cause: Bear children you can comfortably fend for.
It is highly painful having one of your children give up on their dreams and entire life's passion to spend his/her own life taking care of other siblings. That's a waste of destiny. We all are here for our individual purposes.

Fourwinds:
u are here saying all these nonsense...it is like u never meet some parents....even at age 50 they will deliberately leave d children to fend for themselves...have u not heard of some parent tactically pushing their daughters to men to source for money.? and in d course of "waka waka" some evenetually get married through pregnancy in order to ease their burden.? see u need move around and know d average Nigeria home dat leave below two dollars a day

chuksanambra:


There is a fine line between right, duty and privilege.

What would be regarded as not enough and how much would be regarded as sufficient?