My mum is very beautiful, and successful yoruba woman but dosent regard her husband a bit,
Trouble got out hands when she got her first car and her husband who is an engineer doesnt have one yet,she then became pompous and over protective of the car that even those around; church and family knew that popxy doesnt own the car. Mumc is an established fashion designer and holds several positions in Nigerian Union ofTailors, as a result of this she comes home very late not givin any excus. As time goes by she stopped cooking him as she is always busy with work or travelling on state sponsored trips she does not bother to notify her husband whenever she is travelling.
There was a day i was so angry kus even my friends have started to take note and it becoming embarrasing, so i spoke with her, while talking she broke down in tears, she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here.
This went own for a long time, they soon became enemies in the same house everyone going there way doing things differently, admist all these popsy has never rised his voice on her even when mumcy somethings did very annoing stuffs.
In the heat of this, popsy impregnated another babe although i have never seen the woman nor the child since birth which is close to two years. He apologised and promised to never bring them to interfere in our lives.
However this literary set our house on fire. While mumc was gettin over the haertbraek, she promised to get back at him which i didnt undesrand then.
Early this year, mumc bought 2 cars at ones, i was very surprised as she normally tell me her moves, she gave me one while she uses the other one. What broke myy hear was that she kept the one she was using before under cover when i asked her why she didnt allow popxy have that one she said she he should go buy his own and warned me that the day she will see him use my car na problem .
For sometime now she has been joking about moving us out of the country without his knowlege.
Popxy right now has facilitated his tramsfer to delta state.
Now they dont even see neida do they communicate again
the whole thing is driving me insane as i dont see popman coming to the house again pls guys help a brother what do i do
excuse my typo and coherence.

Endtime even the bible said it.

She has joined Christian Women Association (CWO)

The man took a wise step by moving out. Imagine him raising his hands on her and then the world would tag him as a woman-beater and a devil.

Guy your Mom isn't ready to change. Ask Buhari

hmmm
I'm tired now but I will come and advise you tomorrow morning

1. Your mum is (becoming) rebellious and unsubmissive.
2. She stopped fulfilling her home duties. Very bad!
3. She started going on trips without her husband's consent/awareness. Your mum has joined bad gang.
4. She is a bit remorseful but somehow unrepentant still.
5. Your dad isn't helpful in his financial support, always claiming broke. What's your dad doing with his money?
5b. Has he always been like this?
6. Now they are living like married flatmates, vindictive flatmates at that.
7. Your dad committed the unspoken unforgivable sin _impregnating another woman.
7b. He is apologetic.
7c. Your mum is vengeful. Hell knoweth no fury like a woman scorned.

All of the above is a recipe for a marriage that'll fail. If not nipped in the bud.

How did they get here? Has your mum always been like this or is it success controlling her? 'Cos from your story, mum's pride started it all. Why would she plan to move you all out of the country without her husband's consent? Seems you all are more loyal to her because she is the family's Central Bank.

I know your dad goofed by impregnating another, it's going to be difficult for him to fully exert his authority, because your mum will definitely bring it up to humble him. He has to live with that.

Talk to your mum and dad, they need to remember the good old days. If it wasn't always like this, then it's conditional and can be addressed. Marriage is not a place to revenge, not when the other party is fully repentant, when will couples learn this?

There must be someone they respect, where are their parents? Family friends? Religious heads? Anyone they can listen to?
You the kids are not left out. Arrange a meeting that'll make both of them be together, allow them vent __ it helps. Tell them you miss being a family and it's affecting you the kids. If there is still a tiny bit of value in them, you'll know that day. If you kids can't handle it, get an elderly person. If an elderly person fails _ let them separate and cool off, they might find their way back if they wish.

*Men should beware of pseudo-respect. Some wives only submit because they are in a lower place. That respect isn't guaranteed once they rise (and you become less financially responsible)

* Men should stop putting the needs of their extended family first. Lots of you are guilty of this!.

Evaberry:
hmmm

I'm tired now but I will come and advise you tomorrow morning

You better say sonething sensible when you are back

The family is apart already.
if you don't mind, what does your dad do with his 400k salary??
Your mum had to shuttle between keeping the home and struggling for survival, one has suffered now...uneasy lies the head that wears the crown

PaperLace:
Your mum is (becoming) rebellious and unsubmissive.
Your dad has done the unspoken unforgivable sin _impregnating another woman. Recipe for a marriage that'll fail.

How did they get here?

But he apologized remember?

prestigiouslady:
The family is apart already.
if you don't mind, what does your dad do with his 400k salary??

Maybe he plays osusu

smartty68:
But he apologized remember?

Apology doesn't erase the deed

Hmmmmm na wa oo. You can arrange a meeting where both of them will be present and talk things out with them.

Hold up!

Popsy'Popsy's salary as an engineer monthly is 400k and mumsy takes care of 80% house expenses yet popsy doesn't have a car? So what does he do with his money? Old man has got a big secret which is probably in alignment with his mistress and baby.

They have obviously fallen outta love. Which is very sad btw.

Are you this only child? You need to talk to both of them and let them quit hurting themselves. It will get them nowhere.

Is mumsy having an affair too? What do I know?

So because your mum gave you a car, you can't look at her in the eyes and tell her sins? For long are going to let this continue?

Yes, your dad bleeped up, but mum is loosing it and you are not doing enough to stop further damages.

prestigiouslady:

Apology doesn't erase the deed

My Mum was the best woman who ever lived

Your Dad earns 400k monthly and is waiting for his Wife to get him a car


are you not ashamed of him

Let them divorce. I trust whites, once is it obvious they no longer love each other but living like flatmates and like two stubborn goats brought together in a cage they part ways.

Sometimes it is easy for the heart to mend its wounds when it's apart from the one that hurts it.

I do not believe in divorce mind you, but when all possible roads to reconciliation meet in a tiring end then it is better to go apart than to live a lifetime of hate and pain.

Bringing them suddenly together would do no good, it's a gradual process...they should part ways and think things through.


*by the way*

You said your mother's pride is wrecking your home.. what of your father's actions? Not being able to give account of his 400k salary, he impregnated another woman, his shameful show of responsibility? His actions didn't contribute?

Why should you only blame your mother ? Your dad nko? .

Na WA o. Everything for marriage Na only woman dem go blame.

CaptainG00D:
Endtime even the bible said it.

be kind pls

Ginaz:
Let them divorce. I trust whites, once is it obvious they no longer love each other but living like flatmates and like two stubborn goats brought together in a cage they part ways.

Sometimes it is easy for the heart to mend its wounds when it's apart from the one that hurts it.

I do not believe in divorce mind you, but when all possible roads to reconciliation meet in a tiring end then it is better to go apart than to live a lifetime of hate and pain.

Bringing them suddenly together would do no good, it's a gradual process...they should part ways and think things through.


*by the way*

You said your mother's pride is wrecking your home.. what of your father's actions? Not being able to give account of his 400k salary, he impregnated another woman, his shameful show of responsibility? His actions didn't contribute?

Why should you only blame your mother ? Your dad nko? .

Na WA o. Everything for marriage Na only woman dem go blame.

apart feom his monthly salary, whixh camt be accounted for i think mumcy pushed him out am a guy too i cant be blind to d truth kus i love my mum.

I know a lot of people would blame your mummy buh your dad set in motion a lot of things going wrong in that family... For an action, there must be an opposite equal reaction. Married folks should know that whatever action of irresponsibility or infidelity must tell in their family either now or in the long run.

Your dad earns 400k plus, and still shys away from responsibilities, two thinks takes the cash, woman and drinks. You confirming he impregnated a lady outside is a proof that your dad is a reckless fellow, so all your mum is doing is to get back at the fellow.

Please abeg free the poor woman she has suffered, all she has, she has laboured for....

PaperLace:


All of the above is a recipe for a marriage that'll fail. If not nipped in the bud.

How did they get here? Has your mum always been like this or is it success controlling her? 'Cos from your story, mum's pride started it all. Why would she plan to move you all out of the country without her husband's consent? Seems you all are more loyal to her because she is the family's Central Bank.

I know your dad goofed by impregnating another, it's going to be difficult for him to fully exert his authority, because your mum will definitely bring it up to humble him. He has to live with that.

Talk to your mum and dad, they need to remember the good old days. If it wasn't always like this, then it's conditional and can be addressed. Marriage is not a place to revenge, not when the other party is fully repentant, when will couples learn this?

There must be someone they respect, where are their parents? Family friends? Religious heads? Anyone they can listen to?
You the kids are not left out. Arrange a meeting that'll make both of them be together, allow them vent __ it helps. Tell them you miss being a family and it's affecting you the kids. If there is still a tiny bit of value in them, you'll know that day. If you kids can't handle it, get an elderly person. If an elderly person fails _ let them separate and cool off, they might find their way back if they wish.

Men should beware of pseudo-respect. Some wives only submit because they are in a lower place. That respect isn't guaranteed once they rise (and you become less financially responsible).

thanks for ur piece am grateful.
Bt God knows am not on mums side at all am just tryimg to maintain a balance my philosophy is "na una know where meet unaself"
as per talking to them, popxy is sorrow bt mums no wan hear.
There are only two persons my mum respect that much her parents and deh ar both desceased, she is an only child ,so with me

Right, also time for momcy to move on. Build a house and move as she is very independent. Encourage her to buy a house not cars. Popsy has his can of worms and will open it soon. But your mom is aware ofeverything. Your mom knew your dadsy and his sidechics long time ago hence she focused on her biz...a protective mode she has been in.

acevic:
Hold up!

Popsy'Popsy's salary as an engineer monthly is 400k and mumsy takes care of 80% house expenses yet popsy doesn't have a car? So what does he do with his money? Old man has got a big secret which is probably in alignment with his mistress and baby.

They have obviously fallen outta love. Which is very sad btw.

Are you this only child? You need to talk to both of them and let them quit hurting themselves. It will get them nowhere.

Is mumsy having an affair too? What do I know?

prestigiouslady:
The family is apart already.
if you don't mind, what does your dad do with his 400k salary??
Your mum had to shuttle between keeping the home and struggling for survival, one has suffered now...uneasy lies the head that wears the crown

his excuse for non accountability is his demanding family and i hope deh all die dis night

mazimee:
So because your mum gave you a car, you can't look at her in the eyes and tell her sins? For long are going to let this continue?

Yes, your dad bleeped up, but mum is loosing it and you are not doing enough to stop further damages.

you are bin unfair bro.

BrotherJesu:

apart feom his monthly salary, whixh camt be accounted for i think mumcy pushed him out am a guy too i cant be blind to d truth kus i love my mum.

Are you sure he is actually earning up to 400k as alleged by your mum? I doubt.

BrotherJesu:


thanks for ur piece am grateful.
Bt God knows am not on mums side at all am just tryimg to maintain a balance my philosophy is "na una know where meet unaself"
as per talking to them, popxy is sorrow bt mums no wan hear.
There are only two persons my mum respect that much her parents and deh ar both desceased, she is an only child ,so with me

Has you dad always been like this?

You know them better _how did they end here? I don't like unnecessary divorce, but this issue doesn't look like something that can't be resolved to me. Somehow I feel your dad isn't bad, your mum too _ they are just pained or misled.

I can't be so sure though.

Are you people even sure the man still has a job?
When did he start becoming unaccountable?

BrotherJesu:


you are bin unfair bro.

Unfair to who? You're talking nonsense because of what you benefit from your mom.

If you had commonsense, your mom would give you a car and ask you not to allow your own father ride in it and you foolishly agreed? Guy, no let me fight you this night.

I'll proffer solutions and not diagnosis. So, I won't apportion blame.

You and your siblings should call your mom, sit her down and talk to her in your native language. She's a very bitter woman who feels shortchanged by your dad.

As for your Dad, do the same thing as above. He's a caged man who feels emasculated in that house. It's shameful for a man to be humiliated the way your Mom has been humiliating him. However, his inability to take lead his family is an issue. Talk to him, tell him his family is waiting for him to come back.

Very importantly, get both of them to meet face to face. It's not for trading blames and exchanging words. Let them just apologize to each other as the first major step towards reconciliation.

If possible, get pictures of both of them taken on special days before their disagreement. Tell them that there are many beautiful days ahead and you want them to share those days together.

You need wisdom to handle this.

Hmm i dey come

BrotherJesu:
My mum is very beautiful, and successful yoruba woman but dosent regard her husband a bit,
Trouble got out hands when she got her first car and her husband who is an engineer doesnt have one yet,she then became pompous and over protective of the car that even those around; church and family knew that popxy doesnt own the car. Mumc is an established fashion designer and holds several positions in Nigerian Union ofTailors, as a result of this she comes home very late not givin any excus. As time goes by she stopped cooking him as she is always busy with work or travelling on state sponsored trips she does not bother to notify her husband whenever she is travelling.
There was a day i was so angry kus even my friends have started to take note and it becoming embarrasing, so i spoke with her, while talking she broke down in tears, she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here.
This went own for a long time, they soon became enemies in the same house everyone going there way doing things differently, admist all these popsy has never rised his voice on her even when mumcy somethings did very annoing stuffs.
In the heat of this, popsy impregnated another babe although i have never seen the woman nor the child since birth which is close to two years. He apologised and promised to never bring them to interfere in our lives.
However this literary set our house on fire. While mumc was gettin over the haertbraek, she promised to get back at him which i didnt undesrand then.
Early this year, mumc bought 2 cars at ones, i was very surprised as she normally tell me her moves, she gave me one while she uses the other one. What broke myy hear was that she kept the one she was using before under cover when i asked her why she didnt allow popxy have that one she said she he should go buy his own and warned me that the day she will see him use my car na problem .
For sometime now she has been joking about moving us out of the country without his knowlege.
Popxy right now has facilitated his tramsfer to delta state.
Now they dont even see neida do they communicate again
the whole thing is driving me insane as i dont see popman coming to the house again pls guys help a brother what do i do
excuse my typo and coherence.

Nawao... are both of ur parents from the same tribe?

Men af suffered..

Your mother gave you a car and instructed you not to allow your father drive it? You even agreed with a smile on your face?

I am sure your sons will be proud of you when they hear the story.

Anyway, it's best your father leave the house, you guys have embarrassed and humiliated him enough. I am very sure that it was due to the misconduct of your mom that he got another mistress.

BrotherJesu:


thanks for ur piece am grateful.
Bt God knows am not on mums side at all am just tryimg to maintain a balance my philosophy is "na una know where meet unaself"
as per talking to them, popxy is sorrow bt mums no wan hear.
There are only two persons my mum respect that much her parents and deh ar both desceased, she is an only child ,so with me

And your mum isn't in sorrow? when she has a husband that is not responsible enough to cater for his family yet she had to take the wheel to provide for the family. To worsen the matter, he couldn't bridle his manhood and got another woman pregnant...so you think your dad hasn't make your mum miserable enough
if this is how you'll shift the whole blame on your mum, I really feel for her.
There are some matters that "sorry" doesn't resolve, the consequences are still there...infidelity to the extent of fathering a child outside marriage is one..
If tables were turned, will you be here seeking for advise??
If your mum's way of healing is to show off her hard earned money, let her do it...
I'm not in support of what she's doing but if that's her own way to get the pound of flesh back, so be it.