Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,589 members, 7,958,821 topics. Date: Thursday, 26 September 2024 at 03:30 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. (36212 Views)
These Is Breaking Me,i Need Someone To Talk To!!! / I Sat On My Father's Laps, My Mum Walked In And Warned Me / The Tragic Story Of How A White Girl Being Born Black Tore A Family Apart (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by RSVP: 3:16pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Adaumunocha: Yes that's very true but I still don't wanna believe that man is earning 400k monthly ..what if that woman got it all wrong? 1 Like |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Prettyenit18(f): 3:17pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
thank you, I think say na only me see am. How can a man refuse to take his responsibility and expect respect. And as for op, if not because his mother is feeding and catering for him, hunger would have made him to hate his father. Ginaz: 6 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Seamareggae(m): 3:17pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Nawa.... Just observing cos you sef no ready for advice |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Adaumunocha(f): 3:19pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
RSVP:I don't think so. I'm sure she knows her husband's salary. |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Filmdirect: 3:19pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
You do not know how to process what is going on in your house, but from your statement it looks like you have already blamed your mom because your dad is a man. At this point you are biased. You will never fully know what your dad has put your mother through. Culture aside, women have feelings and sometimes to simply live without depression they take drastic measures. You do not know whether your mother would be a shadow of her existence if she did not put up this front, or continue her life making money. You do not know the number of nights she might have cried as a new bride, and tried this whole submissive thing because i love him while your dad spent his money on outsiders and demeaned her. You really don't know, you are only a child looking for "peace" for your convenience. For you and your mom to survive she became what she did. There comes a time in a woman's life when she decides to either die internally or agree with her fate, decide not to divorce, but live an independent life within the home, devoid of emotions. That is the consequence of years of pain. 400,000 Naira is a lot of money with only 20% responsibility, and a baby outside to boot. Your father is not who you think he is. I guess what i am saying is, try to stay out of what you can. If your mom's request is hurting your conscience, tell her that you can not abide by it etc as you want a healthy relationship with your dad, but the dynamics between them is way past you, likely before you were born. Do not in trying to use cultural bias etc, end up hurting your mom. She might just be surviving emotionally because of you. Take that away and you could damage your mom. 8 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by sben2308(m): 3:19pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
BrotherJesu: Firstly have u sat ur Dad down to hear his own version before all this because i believe strongly there is more to all this u telling us and I as one am finding it difficult to give my opinion. Secondly I want u to understand that d way we all react to things is different and I guess ur dad is going to b a very open man before cuz if not ur mum wouldn't know how much he earns and along d way he discovered somethings which now made him change. Thirdly ask urself r u sure ur mom isnt d one pushing him away cuz I sense she might even b promiscuous n ur Dad found out n withdrawal from her. Lastly u said she cater for 80% of things at home and am thinking out loud wasn't he taking care of u guys before properly. Pls kindly answer my questions so has to do it right n we all learn along d way together |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Nobody: 3:19pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Every body in this forum has spoken very well, BUT THIS IS exactly what am seeing in my 3 years marriage right now, we don't have children yet and am seeing this kind or pride from my Igbo lady that brought up in Yoruba land am a Yoruba. her pride is over because she have small money in her hand, she don't see me as a man unless during sex, after sex you become ordinary in her eyes. But i thank God that my incomes is greater than her own, even her mother is in the house now advising her to change but it sees to no way, am planing that she will leave my house with her mother tomorrow morning. My advise is that your father sees that your mum was like that and hope she will change after she have children's. not knowing it will be worst after, if not because of you kids your father know what to do. 1 Like |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Enice(m): 3:20pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
BrotherJesu:"she said she is the one responsible for 80 percent of the house expenses that popcy recieves 400k monthly bt always complaining of bin broke, she said other things i cant really type here." this is the bone of contention. Either you dad is stingy to you guys and himself or he is a womanizer and that is why your mum is acting the way she does. How can a man who earns 400k monthly not be able to feed his family and buy a car for himself? One more thing. You have taking side with you dad hence your not being able to challenge your dad on what he spends his salary on. 3 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by thunderbabs: 3:22pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Ur pop married the wrong woman since ages past. Or ur mom don tweak ur pop's brain spiritually......I hope ur pop still finds happiness into his old age...... The man knows no happiness......That's sad |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by lilien001(f): 3:23pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
To me it seems you re passing unfair judgment on your mum. Yes, she probably over reacted but something triggered it. The first thing I'll like to state is how you quickly belittled the case of your dad having a child out of wedlock. For that to have happened, he obviously was cheating on your mum while married, possibly several times. Your mum's actions may be as a consequence of your dad's. Again, she foots 80% of a Bill while she has a husband earning 400k. Haba! Where does his sopposed salary even go? These are things enough to frustrate any woman and bring out her bad side. I'm not saying your mum is right, but give her the benefit of doubt 5 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Filmdirect: 3:33pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
lilien001: It's the classic case of a child putting the absent or negligent parent on a pedestal but taking advantage of the parent who is making the real sacrifice, hence showing real love. One day he will realize what he is doing. If not for his mother he would not even be the man he is today, the one who is likely impressing his friends with his possessions. Instead of him to laud women in seeing the strength of his mother, he is allowing culture and manhood to create bias against the only person really giving him dignity. Sorry if i sound harsh, but i just can not imagine how the mom would feel to see what he wrote and how he wrote it. in marriage there are two things that are its foundation: trust and security. His father took that away. Of course it is easy to blame the woman but every time a man blames a woman for his character flaw revealed in lack of integrity and inner strength, he is accepting he is a child and not as strong as he claims he should be, after all don't we teach our kids to keep their values no matter what? Not to be influenced by external forces? 5 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by classicking(m): 3:37pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
my guy the thing just weak me your own even better my dad left home close to 3years now ontop this kind matter..me self leave haux i haven't seen my mom in 1yr 6mnth i stay in school even during this strike her anger and nagging is something i can't withstand |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by mrsheddy(m): 3:37pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
I HATE Mondays!! |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Josephnice: 3:39pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
how could your father earn 400k and unable to buy his own car. I blame him for this his height of irresponsibility anyway 1 Like |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by joenor(m): 3:41pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
My friend will you come back here n drop you advise before I change am for you. Evaberry: |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by jaychubi: 3:41pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
BrotherJesu: this one strong ooo so popsy earns over 400k and cant afford a car isorrit 1 Like |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Nobody: 3:43pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Dahs bahd |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by she234: 3:44pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Truth is this, earlier on in marriages men will always have their time to mess arround and do what ever they like. From what I understand, the woman is hurting and the money has given her the opportunity to fully express her grievances confidently. We always allow men have their way saying 'men will always be men' men should know that however they manage their homes early in marriages the consequences will always fall back on them. Karma is a bitch 4 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by DarryOsh(m): 3:47pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
BrotherJesu: you are obviously on your father's side. from the title of the thread, you already blame her. 3 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by NosaHenry(m): 3:48pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Conclusion. Your dad is an irresponsible man. A man on 400k per month without shouldering any responsibility cannot afford a car? Let him lie on the bed the way he has made it. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Ezniteadin(m): 3:50pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
BrotherJesu: What you have just described is the prevalent circumstances in most home, women have gone besirck, the modern world have increased the demonic influences around the homes and most women are actually more possessed They may go to church but not because they love God The unregeneted heart is actually a heart possessed with demons but they call it other name Pride is one evidence of demonic possession, it eventually results in rebellion, some of its attendants are anger and bitterness, revenge, unforgiveness When you see a woman who behave in such manner, it is indicative of deep spiritual problems and a home with these manifestation is not likely to succeed Only and only when a man (generic) is truly born again can he begin to learn obedience according to the word of God Your dads patience is commendable that is how to handle such rebellion but you have a demonic situation in hand with what you describe 1 Samuel 15:23 "Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft" 2 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Shesweetdie(f): 3:51pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
PaperLace:Reading what u wrote, i dont need to check ur profile before knowing that you are male. Obviously u are mire concerned about the womans "pride", but what i see here is not pride, rather is the retaliation of angry bitter and hurt woman. The dad claiming its the woman's actions dat led to him impregenating another woman is noting but a bogus lie, a man earning 400k per month but still lets his wife shoulder eighty percent the families finances is definitely not responsible and its a given that he is spending his money on oda women 2 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Nobody: 3:52pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
I know of a woman that was acting exactly as your mum,guess what?she's on wheelchair now,not going to walk again.she ended up on a car crash and broke her spine while coming back from a party with her secret boy friend,now the husband has all her mess to tidy. I pray that don't happen to your mum,but karma is a bitch. |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Shesweetdie(f): 3:53pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Shesweetdie: 2 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by amazingspiderma: 3:54pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
As their child, I understand you want to always see them together, but they should have thought of how their different actions will affect you. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself, it was their mess that got this whole thing started not you. May God help your young heart in these testing times. Think of your future and stay focus, I wouldn't want anyone to take advantage of you. Your need to find parental care and counseling from good role models, in church preferable. Ensure you let them know your plans for a better future for yourself and how you want to grow up, so they realise they are about to loose you too. Who knows, you might be their bargaining chip. |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by elyte89: 3:54pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Ogbeni,reveal ur dad true income Aw can someone earn 400k monthly and won't b able to face his responsibility squarely Only top few civil servant earns dt much If we re to go by ur story Den,No guy would ever b responsible in Nigeria 1 Like |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Nobody: 3:55pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Shesweetdie: Sorry to disappoint your pseudo-intuition. I am female. I addressed the post based on OP's narrative. I need the OP to tell me if his dad has always been financially irresponsible. |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by DarryOsh(m): 3:56pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Ezniteadin: The way you reached this your conclusion ehn, lemme nor talk. Did you take time to read the whole story? You have many knocks for the mother, none for the father. You said the father's patience is commendable, but he has another family. You made no comment on that. And you don't see anything strange in the fact that he earns 400k and cannot afford a car even though his wife takes care of most of the family's bills (assuming she's telling the truth). And you are here quoting scriptures upandan. 6 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by clemz85(m): 3:56pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Brother! Re unite them, that why you were born, don't take side |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Olabestonic001(m): 3:56pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
Ginaz: If you can observe critically the submission up there, you'd see that we should blame the man more. I infer that, that man allowed the wife to grow 'too independently'. This caused the woman to have a feeling of lack of husband and she definitely denied him sex. With years goin by and the man probably complaining, she told him he was a 'no good' and doesn't deserve sex. Rather than seize the barton, he hid under his finger and let the 'wroth' continued. She was very happy to 'show' him pepper. I guessed the man is a good man, whom the wife never thought will engage in sexual immorality outside the marriage. He sure didn't planned it but forgot to understand his wife. He did the abominable! Rather than 'rescue' her lover, she decided to kuku 'ruin' him. Mummy should rescue daddy from his misery. |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by Filmdirect: 3:57pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
euromilion: So you assume the mom is with a boyfriend? Well, karma is a bitch...the dad is actually the one with the girls, the one spending his money outside. But you did not see that right? maybe he is living his karma and the mom is the one blessed because of the many tearful prayers in the early years. Her parents are dead so maybe in heaven (lets assume) they have petitioned God to bless their only daughter and cover her. Maybe that's why she has prospered...see we can have many maybes but we can not just throw the woman under the bus. Looks like the one blessed is her. 6 Likes |
Re: My Mum's Pride Is Breaking My Family Apart. by DarryOsh(m): 3:58pm On Sep 18, 2017 |
amazingspiderma: 1 Like |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (Reply)
30 Things Nigerian Husbands Want And Expect From Their Wives / One Injured As Fulani Clan Clashes Over Who Inherits Family Head’s Widow / He Raped Me, Now Getting Married To My Best Friend...
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 110 |