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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? (60634 Views)
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Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by CHoccolaTE: 2:01pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: @ bolded, you hit the nail on the head very perfectly. Even in marriages where the courtship went smoothly, the women sometimes act up because of that same reason. They get married and suddenly realise that marriage is not a small feat for many women and that they are more disadvantaged in the long run, for example they might have to work full time and be co breadwinners while being primarily responsible for house and kids and sometimes they must also put up with husbands constantly decreasing concern and attention for them and then frustration and disappointment sets in and then they start acting up. 21 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by djon78(m): 2:07pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: Well it is men that didn't do there due diligence search very well, that end up with such type of women. A well looking man don't end up with such. And some that made such mistake, if its the one they can manage, they will, but if not. Everybody will answer him papa name. Na so a distant cousin of mine married such, it didn't last up to 2 years he cancelled the marriage. He was lucky to later get a good woman. Today they live happily in the US. Abeg Marriage is meant to be enjoyed. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by CHoccolaTE: 2:17pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
djon78: First of all, forget long story most men are easy to manipulate. Even after due diligence they still get conned. Secondly, yes you are right marriage is meant to be enjoyed that's why I wish many Nigerians would have sense and stop stigmatizing single women or divorced women and pushing them to stay in unhappy unions. 17 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by djon78(m): 2:52pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: Yes some get coned but if its the one they can manage they do but if its the one they can't it gets broken. There are things that can be tolerated but when one enters into ones unbearable, then everyone goes there way. But its very wrong for one to enter marriage with a revenge mindset, its evil simple. Single women or divorced women who is pushing them? Its there choice. Everyone have choices. When my sister was having issues with her husband, she wanted to quit, even the guy was tired. But I told them that there issue was redeemable, that they should exercise Patience. They listened and worked on themselves, under one year, everything became lovely again. But if it wasn't redeemable then she would have quit. It was her call to make. Society will always be society, but ones happiness shouldn't be based on what society thinks. Each person is meant to be happy and enjoy life. 11 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by CHoccolaTE: 3:18pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
djon78: Wo, just as there are men that exact revenge on wives during marriage for reasons best known to them there are also women. It goes both ways. And I insist than many men get conned easily, women are talented manipulators. Even if he leaves her after marriage she won't care cos she can now boast of being married before. 11 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by Greatzeus(m): 3:24pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE:Why do Nairalanders always treat romance or family topics as Male versus Female issue? Females supports female stands and males mostly do the same too. 4 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by djon78(m): 3:32pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: And he doesn't care either, moves on to another one. Also fortunate that he dodged a bullet, because that's a union made in hell. 4 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by CHoccolaTE: 3:39pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
djon78:That one no concern me 6 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by GreatResearcher: 4:31pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
am talking about change in character once they get married frozen70g:so how is any of those factors u mentioned a reason to lie? |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by crackhaus: 5:06pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
UjuJoan2:You might actually be going about this all wrong, no pun intended. Shouldn't you be counselling women to grow some cojonés and self-confidence along with a healthy dose of self-esteem, which will stop them from marrying jerks, only to turn around and pay the jerk back after getting married to him? You're making a case for and glorifying emotional/psychological disorders without knowing it. What else would make a human being choose to stay with another just because they are nursing a plan to hurt them back? This is classic psychopath behavior. It's like telling a faithful man to forgive and marry his fiancée who has been round the block & back, and when he begins cheating on her after marriage, you probably gonna say 'she had it coming'. Really? 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by djon78(m): 5:27pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
crackhaus: Rightly put!! 6 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by LilMissFavvy(f): 5:36pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Not only can she boast as being married according to you. She can also leave the marriage with children, to me that's one of the biggest benefit. It's funny the men arguing with you are not aware that some ladies just ''marry off'' to have kids, if they feel time is running out. CHoccolaTE: 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by CHoccolaTE: 5:41pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
LilMissFavvy: They like telling themselves that women need marriage to continue existing or to be happy. 8 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by crackhaus: 5:47pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE:You're shooting yourself in the foot, it's comical. A woman that feels she has to get married because her time is running out or because she needs to have kids, was NEVER happy in the first place. So yes in fact, this woman has gotten married just to attain happiness - it's not men saying this, it's you and the women doing this, that are saying it themselves. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by UjuJoan2: 6:01pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
crackhaus: I'm not making a case for or justifying anything. I can't remember expressly stating that it was right, did I? I'm just stating a fact and pointing out how people can react to situations. It might not be a case of consiously nursing a plan, it could just be a reaction to the realisation that staying with him through all that just wasn't worth it to begin with. Your own example doesn't quite reflect the situation I was describing. In reality have you ever met a man who would marry his cheating fiancee who is not even remorseful? That never happens. But we see women marry their cheating fiances everyday, even when they show no remorse. The situation is clearly not ideal. If it were, no woman will ever sell herself short. But the society has labelled single women over 30 failures, so women tend to remain in terrible situations just to feel accomplished. In any case, I don't think cheating in a relationship is 'cheating' in the real sense. If you want someone to be committed to you, marry them . (This is strictly a personal opinion) 9 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by UjuJoan2: 6:05pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
crackhaus: Do you even realise than men change too after marriage? It's not one-sided. I know a man who shaved off his dred because the girl he was courting didn't like it. Guess what happened after they got married? He grew it right back! Men also get married just to tick the box and do what the society expects of men. A lot of men date 'crazy' girls but when the time for marriage comes they go for 'homely' girls, just to please their family. I'm clearly not justfying such behaviour, but it doesn't change the fact that it happens everyday. 15 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by bukatyne(f): 6:13pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
crackhaus: I was going to say this. Like I always say, when it comes to marriage, the average Nigerian man & woman is very dysfunctional. A shitty guy would not lose his sting after marriage especially in our society where people are reluctant to separate or divorce. 2 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by UjuJoan2: 6:52pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
bukatyne: It's the society, we have things backwards here in Nigeria. We've all been a victims of the culture and societal pressures, which is often lopsided against women. I could preach a sermon all day about how women should stand up for themselves and know their worth, but it still won't change the fact that things like this will keep happening. Again, for emphasis, people changing after marriage is not restricted to women only. Men do it too. 12 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by crackhaus: 7:43pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
UjuJoan2:Lol, yes men can change too after getting married. I don't believe I stated anything to the contrary. But seeing that the purpose of this thread isn't about men changing, neither am I explaining (justifying) why a man should change, then there was really no need for this comment. 9 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by frozen70g(f): 7:48pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
GreatResearcher: Any of those factors can trigger a change in marriage |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by Octopusssy(f): 8:14pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
Bozzyironlady:I wonder o. He knew what he was getting himself into, now he won't allow us hear word. Their marriage is contract and the foundation is money, so why the fvck is he disturbing us with his endless whining? Did he expect 'happily ever after' when her only attraction to him was the financial and material gains he promised in exchange for temporary marriage? He was warned!! 3 Likes |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by crackhaus: 8:24pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
UjuJoan2:Exactly the point I'm making. A man would NEVER marry a woman he knows to either be unrepentantly loose or character flawed. These women will be excessively fvcked, but they will not be married - that's men for you. What you ought to do is counsel and advise women to develop the confidence and esteem to choose what will be healthy for them in the long run, regardless of what society thinks. Society itself is not a biological organism but a social organism - it does not think for itself. What do you think will happen when more and more women decide enough is enough and they will just not be bothered about 'settling' even if it means staying single till they're 40? The same society starts getting used to the new trend, it's that simple really. Like I sometimes discuss with my closest female friends - trying to get men to stop cheating or bragging about being polygamous is an exercise in futility. Instead, y'all should get more women to be confident in themselves and not accept their fate just because 'time is running out'. Before you know it, the same men will begin readjusting to the new trend. Men then will begin to understand that before any woman accepts their marriage proposal, they must be on their best behavior..and not even try to change after getting married because the woman is also not scared of leaving in style regardless of what society thinks. It's basic social engineering (or "reengineering" in this case). Uju me wey no be feminist or equality activist, I swear I have more ideas than majority of the so-called Nigerian feminists running their mouth with nothing upstairs - which is basically why they're hardly taken seriously. Men are dogs, men are dogs...on and on... yet for every male dog outchea, there are at least three(3) available bítches willing to do his bidding and grateful to wear his ring, yet still they think men are the problem of society? lol. It's like trying to shoot at a moving target 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by crackhaus: 8:31pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
bukatyne:Welcome to the 21st century. Why don't you grab a chair love, things are just getting started |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by UjuJoan2: 8:54pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
crackhaus: Touche! 1 Like |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by UjuJoan2: 9:06pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
crackhaus: Even the holy book says a time will come when 7 women will chase after a man, and beg him to just allow them bear his name. Untill marriage is completely eradicated, the odds will always be against women. Why do you think men will never let the idea of marriage go? They know it gives them an edge, it favours them and continuously feeds their ego. That's why despite their claim that women are hoes, they keep deceiving them into marriage everyday. Of course we'll get there someday . . . A time when women will realise they owe nothing to anyone but themselves. But not today. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by GreatResearcher: 6:07am On Oct 31, 2019 |
Even if it wasnt a contract marriage, wil wud hv stil displayd her bad attitude. Accordin to research, women are naturaly bad. Bad attitude is a woman's real character. Octopusssy: 1 Like |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by TooNoisy(f): 9:22am On Oct 31, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: Oh how I miss the Nairaland Family section. I read some of these posts and I just wonder how some of the people behind these monikers reason. This is not about supporting whatever a woman does because you are a woman but it's simply about being reasonable. Please read the bolded again. So, if a man is treating a woman badly in a relationship, to the extent that resentment starts building in and the woman now hates the man, you are proposing that she goes ahead to marry that same man that she hates? Did you marry some you hate? So let me summarise your post: 1. A young lady with a bright future should continue dating a man who obviously doesn't love or value her. 2. It gets so bad that she gets fed-up and begins to resents the man and even hates him 3. So with 1 & 2 above, you propose she goes ahead and tries her best to marry the man because of societal pressure or virginity 4. When she gets married, she now begins to act crazy in revenge What you typed is a joke. Young ladies, if a man is treating you like trash in a relationship, it wouldn't get better in marriage. Marriage is for a lifetime and you don't want to be unhappy in your marriage. Just walk out of the relationship and you will find a better man. There are good men out there who will surely locate you. 12 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by TooNoisy(f): 9:32am On Oct 31, 2019 |
UjuJoan2: Oh no!!! Did you just type the bolded part. Like a wise woman, will tolerate a man that clearly doesn't love or value her, just to get married and hope to revenge after marriage? Like that is what a wise woman would do?? Let me educate you a bit - that is not what a wise woman will do. A wise woman will walk out of the relationship knowing that it will only get worse after marriage. Please young ladies, you need to know your self worth, you need to value yourself so that men can value you. If you have no self worth, then men will only take advantage of you. There are some ladies that those stupid boys will never approach or try nonsense with - because they know they are women of substance and these women have self esteem. You are also responsible for how you are treated. If the same guy that is treating you like rubbish is probably worshiping another lady - you need to ask yourself why you are being treated that way. It is because he knows you will accept anything!!! 12 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by TooNoisy(f): 9:42am On Oct 31, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: Family section!!! Where do you people even come from? So now it is okay for a woman to marry a man she doesn't love, then she starts misbehaving after marriage and if the man leaves, the woman can go around town boasting of being married before. What kind of people are you guys? Do you even know there are kids involved here? What do you take marriage for? A train ride you can boast of when you feel like leaving? Like seriously? What caliber of women are typing this rubbish?? 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by TooNoisy(f): 9:45am On Oct 31, 2019 |
GreatResearcher: Oga, don't let these women judge you - I wouldn't. You only opened a thread seeking advise. You can let us know what some of these "new attitudes" are and we can discuss it. They have all just agreed it was your fault. You never said you treated her badly or you cheated on her. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by UjuJoan2: 9:47am On Oct 31, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE: 1 Like |
Re: Husbands, Have You Noticed That Women Change After Wedding? by CHoccolaTE: 10:07am On Oct 31, 2019 |
TooNoisy: Lwkmd @ your rage You didn't understand the point I was trying to make and I can't be bothered to explain. Have a lovely day. 3 Likes |
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