He rejected the child right when you told him you were pregnant right now you’ve nursed the child single handedly he wants it back. . .

Look at the manner he came and approached you to ask for the child; he wants it because of some title in his village not even because he loves you or he wants to marry you. And he even went as far as threatening you with the police if you don’t give up the child.

Here’s the ideal; if you have a boyfriend, then that would be much easier just tell him that he isn’t the father of that child that it belongs to your boyfriend after all he rejected it when you give it to him; so you’ve finally found the father and that he ought to be ashamed of himself; suppose you aborted it, would he have the guts to confront you and ask for any baby?

He has no right to bother you about any child; if he keeps on bothering you, then get the police involved in the matter.

It's clear the man doesn't deserve you and your daughter. He even has the guts to threaten you with the police?   As much as I hate the thought of your daughter getting to know a heartless man and as well call him father , I just have to agree with Oziomatv, here.

A classic example of an irresponsible man.
However, lets cut him some slack. . . . . He couldn't handle the heat of dealing with a child born outta wedlock.
Although, he handled the whole situation in a cruel way but u must learn to forgive.
At the end of the day, he is still the father of the child.
If he doesn't find his daughter. . . . be rest assured his daughter will find him one day.

abegi jackal dont come again with that nonsense

He couldnt "deal", how come he can now "deal" with it after 5 years?

@ D-reloaded,

Of course, he couldn't deal with it then due to so many reasons known to him.
First all, maybe he wasn't financially stable enough to take care of the girl in question. . . .Nigerian men tend to abandon their responsibilities once the issue of funds come into play. . . . .some men fail to pay school fees, some don't even send their kids to school and reh reh reh.
However, that was yesterday.

This is today. Our man is now bouyant enough to take care of his child.
Who knows. . . .A fortune teller somewhere might have told him to go find his kid somewhere or else death becomes him. This is AFRICA. . . .Things tend to get messy when such a serious issue is in play. At the end of the day, u cannot deny a man his child whether he claimed it when the kid was born or not. If he goes to court, he will take the custody of the child!!!!!

Jackal.:

A classic example of an irresponsible man.
However, lets cut him some slack. . . . . He couldn't handle the heat of dealing with a child born out of wedlock.
Although, he handled the whole situation in a cruel way but u must learn to forgive.
At the end of the day, he is still the father of the child.
If he doesn't find his daughter. . . . be rest assured his daughter will find him one day.

[size=13pt]Worder than word. Unless you disappear and tell your child that her father is dead which is cruel, he'll always look for you.[/size]

He only wants the child because his wife has not given him a child and he wants to keep his title what kind of man is that?

Forget what happen in the past what he has come back with is just a slap in the face!

Jackal.:

This is today. Our man is now bouyant enough to take care of his child.
Who knows. . . .A fortune teller somewhere might have told him to go find his kid somewhere or else death becomes him. This is AFRICA. . . .Things tend to get messy when such a serious issue is in play. At the end of the day, u cannot deny a man his child whether he claimed it when the kid was born or not. If he goes to court, he will take the custody of the child!!!!!

@Jackal
Point of correction; he want his daughter back not because he loves her but because his wife can’t have any child and he wants some goddam title in his village that's the issue on ground.

And it would be an emotional sucide for the lady to go back to him.

@ Crazykid,

For whatever reasons, he is still the father of the child.
I know it's normal for the woman in question to feel hurt and aggrieved but HE IS STILL THE FATHER OF THE CHILD.
Chieftaincy title is secondary. . . . . No responsible man walks about without caring for the child he has got somewhere.

Trust me, when the kid grows up too. . . . He would find his dad one day even if he is a tramp.
People should learn to put emotions aside and deal with issues appropriately.
The father was irresponsible but lets give him the chance to correct all his wrongs.

Umm sorry Jackal you did read that he confessed he came looking for his child to keep his title No responsible PERSON should ever utter such words about their child.

Blimey. . . . .Why are we forgetting the fact that this happened in Nigeria.
A man can still go back and claim his child if he takes him 1000 years to realise the baby is his. . . .

Granted, he acted like a twit when the baby was conceived. . . . .No one knows his financial status then.
I dont blame him for running away. . . .He couldn't even take care of himself then let alone cater for 2 more heads.
Besides. . . . The 2 of em were irresponsible for having unprotected sex so why should the man shoulder the whole blame. . . .
Like i have said, all that happened yesterday. . . . .THIS IS TODAY.

Fortunately, the man is alive to correct all his wrongdoings.
He has now realised his mistakes and wants to give his kid the best he can and people are saying NO?
Would the child in question forgive her mother for denying her the right to see her dad?
She'd better have a good excuse now cos the child might grow up to even hate her mother more than her dad.
Its a very sensitive situation. . . . Her best bet is to FORGIVE n FORGET.

Jackal.:

Fortunately, the man is alive to correct all his wrongdoings.

More like he wants to show the child off as proof of his "manhood" to his village idiots then send her back to the mother when the rites are done.

My point exactly D-R.

D-reloaded:

More like he wants to show the child off as proof of his "manhood" to his village idiots then send her back to the mother when the rites are done.

Showing the child off as a proof of manhood to his kinsman?? . . This is highly laughable!!!!!
He can as well go to the countless motherless babies' home in Nigeria to adopt a child that bears a semblance of him and claim him.
TOH, it has to be deeper than that . . . . . . Nollywood movies is doing your HEAD IN.
His motility test is enough to prove his virility. . . . .any medical doctor in Nigeria can certify such test to prove the man aint STERILE.

LMAO "nollywood movies are doing your head in" D-R you better sharrap there

wer are talking village title, you are talking about medical doctors and hospitals. You sef, funny

@ D-reloaded,

That village title gist does not hold water. . . . . Its a pigment of the chic's imagination.
The man wants his kid now simply because he is now ready to shoulder his responsiblities as the father.

The man wants his kid now simply because he is now ready to shoulder his responsiblities as the father.

That's false, its all about the title. I'm sure if he and the wife already had children, this man wouldn't think of having anything to do with the poster and her child. What steps has he taken to show that he's responsible than threatening to bring in the police?

@ Stillwater,

We don't know that, do we?

The man has tried all possible avenue to see his kid. . . . .The poster thwarted all his efforts. . . . .
I am quite sure the title thingy was the man's way of pressuring the girl to give up the kid. There cannot be anything like that.
Do u know any title given out to men that breeds kids . . . What are these titles called? Highest kid breeder?

Men can be cruel, i agree.
However, no responsible man will completely neglect his kid when he is financially stable to take care of her.
As at the time the baby was conceived, our man was a bit struggling then. . . .Now, he wants to take responsibility.
Will u guys give him a chance to let him take care of his baby gurl?

This is not a war of the sexes this is about a loser of a man who came crawling back to a child he wanted dead only because he has something to gain.

so jackal all of his possible efforts to see his child was to threaten her to police. and what kind of MAN tells his baby's mother that he wants the child only for some damn title? He aught to be ashamed of himself, that useless idiot. And the fact that he wasn't fianacially stable, which is what you keep bringing up is no excuse to abandon his baby's mother and child. That is completely irritatingly irresponsible.

Threads like this just makes me more careful about which kind of man to date/marry. . How can some men be this vile and useless?

@ Akinagirl,

Take it easy. . . .

Granted, the man was grossly irresponsible like i keep saying but that hardly matters again.
He came back after 5 years to apologise and to take what is his. . . . .I dont see anything wrong with that.
The baby momma should forgive and forget. . . . .

Secondly, the man threatened to call the police cos he is getting frustrated.
Why do people go to war? They go to war when dialogue fails and there's a deadlock.
Like the poster said, the man has been persistent, calling day and night with no breakthrough. . . .What do u expect?

Well said Akingirl some people just dont get it. Even though its not that hard.

Jackal there is something you are not getting
HE DIDNT APPOLIGISE!
He said I want my child back because of a title. WHAT AN ARROGANT USELESS PIG. So, if his wife could have kids, he wouldn't even be back there, looking for his kid! Stop making excuses for idiots.

@ poster, in naija he wants to call police? That man is very useless - no offence but he's still the father of the child. He's coming back for the wrong reasons but make him pay with his teeth but at least let him see the child once in a while. He might be irresponsible but your child has his blood flowing thorough her veins.
Men can be so stupid sometimes, they hardly realize how beautiful children are.

exactly lady T

@Toyin and y'all ladies
There's bare sides to a coin
This is only the poster's side of the story we're hearing now.
We don't know the reason the dude really wants the child back

The fact that his XX is still staying there not knowing she has a dad is really bad for the kid
Give her the chance to grow up normally

Everyone makes mistakes, afterall The great Ghandi was once racist against Africans
He changed to become one of the most peaceloving freedom fighters the world has ever known.

@Akinagirl
He called many times, the poster doesn't need to say he apologised.

eldee do you say "bare" in real life LOL

You have a point but we can only jugde the story from what we have heard.
Just because he is her biological father doesnt mean shit. There are millions of children being bought up by OTHER men who are not their biological fathers. Im sure in time the child will know the father. The kid has done very well without him so far.

@ Akinagurl,

I think u should go back and read the story again.

The poster said the man came back to BEG and ask for FORGIVENESS.
What else should he do? Kiss her toes?

@ Eldee,

Even Martin Luther King had a fling by the side.
Men will always be men. . . . .He goofed but he came back to correct his wrongs. . . .
The mother of the child might make him suffer a bit but then he should let the father meet his kid.

I didn't say that the guy said, "i apologise." No, what i said was, when he came back for the child telling her about some dumb title was no apology, as jackal was saying. But anyways, If he is really sorry, then yes he can have another chance, but it has to be up to her to decide, as other posters mentioned, she needs her family and the courts to back her up in case this man does anything stupid.

Amazing, the things human beings will do!

Why doesnt he go and check for the child where Aborted babies go!

Such a loaded Q! of a human being!

No one should allow him near that child o!