greatestmistake: @ OP We are just in too similar shoes
I've written a similar experience to post on nairaland recently but was afraid that people that knows me in nairaland will deduce from the story that i am the one. I just opened a new nairaland I.D to be anonymous. Poster, your own is moi-moi case compared to what am passing through. MARRYING MY WIFE IS THE GREATEST MISTAKE I MADE IN MY LIFE. 2hrs will not be able to finish narrating the first paragraph if am to narrate the hell am passing through. For instance, as am typing this now, since Jan 2nd 2014 I've not been talking with my wife, only good morning and me dropping money for family upkeep. She can keep the face-off till Jesus returns. Whats the problem? I was to take my relation who stays with my bedridden mother to village on 2nd as my younger siblings have traveled to village. Then on 1st I told my wife to prepare with the kids by 7am next morning being 2nd that i will drive them to go and stay with my mother as i drive with the relation to village for a 9.am scheduled village meeting and to come back same day. My village is barely an 1hour journey. I woke up early around 6am and tapped her to wake and start preparing but she shouted at me. Later by 8:20 she is still putting on towel to go and bath, then I told her am leaving to go and pick the relation as time is already against us, that she should then transport herself to go and stay with my mum. Our residence is not up to 10mins drive to my parents place. I then left to village, while in village I tried calling her and my mother but due to network limitation i couldn't get them. To my greatest surprise around 4pm while in village my mother was able to reach us on phone and told me that she didn't see my wife again and have not taken her lunch as she hardly moves around with her clutches due to her health challenges. I tried calling my wife again and network was telling me switched off repeatedly. I cut short everything in village and speed off back to town and met my mother stranded alone, I almost shed tears seeing her. Then back to my house, I met my wife watching cable tv, I asked her why she didn't go to my mother again, she asked me while I left her instead of exercising little more patience waiting for her to bath and by the way how do i expect her to take public transport with 2 kids? (not up to 10mins transport). Since then I cut off communication with her in anger as I can't beat her, I can't send her packing due to my religious family upbringing. In fact my mother now is telling me to forget about what she did, that it was just the devil at work. She is a core christian.

Am tired of typing, this is just a tip of the iceberg of the devil am living with as wife. May God punish the day i first set my eyes on this lady

opetu: My wife has been a torn on my flesh, giving me headaches daily. It happens dat I met her in my final year in school (fellowship), we got close just as friends nd within 7 mnths of knowing her one thing led to the other nd she got pregnant for me, well i accepted my responsibilty. telling my parents also, It was actually a thing of mixed feelingz, bein dat i am the only child of my parentz, at least thats like having a second child for dem. Long story short i decided to marry her cos of the baby..wit the notion dat we woud build our early relationship in marriage ..

Now issue is dat My wife doesnt like d idea when my parent come see me in my home, alwayz grummble, she doesn have a close relationship wit my mom, mom is alwayz sad about this..I ve been married for 5years now, ma kids ve only visited my parents for a week, anytime i bring up d idea of dem goin to see them..we always quarell!! just last week sunday ma parents left their home so dey come take d kids for d nu year break, i ddnt tell ma wife, but she found out, it was a fight that happened ....wit her tearing my clothes.. my old man nd momma both cried seein dis, dey had to travel back dat evening seein dat my so called wife ddnt welcome dem in my home, Dis is just d little i can narrate !!

I have two kids now, i kinda hate having a second child wit her, now am thinking divorce, which i dnt want to, tried to b patient, but its like shez getting evil advice from sumplaces everyday, how many years more does my parents ve on earth dat i wont make dem happy at least to be wit their grandkids!! at first i thought dis was normal, or is it a normal thing for mothers to cling to their child dat way?? maybe am too soft on her!! sigh i wish i never married her d first place, i only wanted to rewrite my mistake by marryin her.

maasoap: So, help us send invitation to her. Slowpoke.

TechWalker007:

Op, there goes your problem and you don't seem to recognize it.
You are trying to compensate your parents with your kids and that scares her to death!
Stop trying to do that, rather seek to build a happy family and your parents should be happy with that if they are not selfish.
I feel you have a good family in your parents but you need to take out this idea of "sacrificing" your kids to your parents.
I repeat, a woman who doesn't guard her kids jealously does not worth being a mother.

She may have gone too far with the disrespect but a woman will always be emotional!
Your parents should help you build a family of yours not seek to raise your kids because they had one.
Do you expect your wife to smile at that?
I personally do not take shii from a lady but I am not going to support you with this idea of compensating your parents with your kids.


With all due respect,I disagree with you. I normally don't comment,this would actually be a 1st. His wife has NO reason whatsoever to be hostile to his parents! If she has any problem,then she should sort it out with her husband,she knew b4 they got married,that he is the only son and child and she wouldn,t allow them access to both son and grandchildren? Women seem to forget they would also grow old and become mother in laws,I am a woman and if I cannot embrace my husband's family,then I shouldn,t be married to him!she is causing the poor parents undue grief,they don't deserve that

opetu:

I ddnt, we were both medical students nd she wasnt young, infact d whole pregnancy issue , she sure wanted it may b to trap me down, it was a one night thingy..yes i knw dats enough to get anyone pregnant, the marriage was sumthing she was happy about also.. Even in Our NYSC after marriage she started misbehaving saying i was cheating. it just a calamity marriage ..tnx..wud pray towards it

greatestmistake: @ OP We are just in too similar shoes
I've written a similar experience to post on nairaland recently but was afraid that people that knows me in nairaland will deduce from the story that i am the one. I just opened a new nairaland I.D to be anonymous. Poster, your own is moi-moi case compared to what am passing through. MARRYING MY WIFE IS THE GREATEST MISTAKE I MADE IN MY LIFE. 2hrs will not be able to finish narrating the first paragraph if am to narrate the hell am passing through. For instance, as am typing this now, since Jan 2nd 2014 I've not been talking with my wife, only good morning and me dropping money for family upkeep. She can keep the face-off till Jesus returns. Whats the problem? I was to take my relation who stays with my bedridden mother to village on 2nd as my younger siblings have traveled to village. Then on 1st I told my wife to prepare with the kids by 7am next morning being 2nd that i will drive them to go and stay with my mother as i drive with the relation to village for a 9.am scheduled village meeting and to come back same day. My village is barely an 1hour journey. I woke up early around 6am and tapped her to wake and start preparing but she shouted at me. Later by 8:20 she is still putting on towel to go and bath, then I told her am leaving to go and pick the relation as time is already against us, that she should then transport herself to go and stay with my mum. Our residence is not up to 10mins drive to my parents place. I then left to village, while in village I tried calling her and my mother but due to network limitation i couldn't get them. To my greatest surprise around 4pm while in village my mother was able to reach us on phone and told me that she didn't see my wife again and have not taken her lunch as she hardly moves around with her clutches due to her health challenges. I tried calling my wife again and network was telling me switched off repeatedly. I cut short everything in village and speed off back to town and met my mother stranded alone, I almost shed tears seeing her. Then back to my house, I met my wife watching cable tv, I asked her why she didn't go to my mother again, she asked me while I left her instead of exercising little more patience waiting for her to bath and by the way how do i expect her to take public transport with 2 kids? (not up to 10mins transport). Since then I cut off communication with her in anger as I can't beat her, I can't send her packing due to my religious family upbringing. In fact my mother now is telling me to forget about what she did, that it was just the devil at work. She is a core christian.

Am tired of typing, this is just a tip of the iceberg of the devil am living with as wife. May God punish the day i first set my eyes on this lady

Austeenx: I need to see the picture of her, tearing your shirt, or it didn't happen.

riadrims:
With all due respect,I disagree with you. I normally don't comment,this would actually be a 1st. His wife has NO reason whatsoever to be hostile to his parents! If she has any problem,then she should sort it out with her husband,she knew b4 they got married,that he is the only son and child and she wouldn,t allow them access to both son and grandchildren? Women seem to forget they would also grow old and become mother in laws,I am a woman and if I cannot embrace my husband's family,then I shouldn,t be married to him!she is causing the poor parents undue grief,they don't deserve that

soul_glo: So you sat down and discussed with your parents to come get the kids and did not bother to mention it to their mother. Congratulations. You are the cause of your parents heartache and if they know that you never told your wife and still support your behavior then they are not being honest with you. They are adding to firewood to the fire. Good luck with your divorce. Ruin your children's life to make your parents who have lived their's already happy

greatestmistake: @ OP We are just in too similar shoes
I've written a similar experience to post on nairaland recently but was afraid that people that knows me in nairaland will deduce from the story that i am the one. I just opened a new nairaland I.D to be anonymous. Poster, your own is moi-moi case compared to what am passing through. MARRYING MY WIFE IS THE GREATEST MISTAKE I MADE IN MY LIFE. 2hrs will not be able to finish narrating the first paragraph if am to narrate the hell am passing through. For instance, as am typing this now, since Jan 2nd 2014 I've not been talking with my wife, only good morning and me dropping money for family upkeep. She can keep the face-off till Jesus returns. Whats the problem? I was to take my relation who stays with my bedridden mother to village on 2nd as my younger siblings have traveled to village. Then on 1st I told my wife to prepare with the kids by 7am next morning being 2nd that i will drive them to go and stay with my mother as i drive with the relation to village for a 9.am scheduled village meeting and to come back same day. My village is barely an 1hour journey. I woke up early around 6am and tapped her to wake and start preparing but she shouted at me. Later by 8:20 she is still putting on towel to go and bath, then I told her am leaving to go and pick the relation as time is already against us, that she should then transport herself to go and stay with my mum. Our residence is not up to 10mins drive to my parents place. I then left to village, while in village I tried calling her and my mother but due to network limitation i couldn't get them. To my greatest surprise around 4pm while in village my mother was able to reach us on phone and told me that she didn't see my wife again and have not taken her lunch as she hardly moves around with her clutches due to her health challenges. I tried calling my wife again and network was telling me switched off repeatedly. I cut short everything in village and speed off back to town and met my mother stranded alone, I almost shed tears seeing her. Then back to my house, I met my wife watching cable tv, I asked her why she didn't go to my mother again, she asked me while I left her instead of exercising little more patience waiting for her to bath and by the way how do i expect her to take public transport with 2 kids? (not up to 10mins transport). Since then I cut off communication with her in anger as I can't beat her, I can't send her packing due to my religious family upbringing. In fact my mother now is telling me to forget about what she did, that it was just the devil at work. She is a core christian.

Am tired of typing, this is just a tip of the iceberg of the devil am living with as wife. May God punish the day i first set my eyes on this lady

opetu: My wife has been a torn on my flesh, giving me headaches daily. It happens dat I met her in my final year in school (fellowship), we got close just as friends nd within 7 mnths of knowing her one thing led to the other nd she got pregnant for me, well i accepted my responsibilty. telling my parents also, It was actually a thing of mixed feelingz, bein dat i am the only child of my parentz, at least thats like having a second child for dem. Long story short i decided to marry her cos of the baby..wit the notion dat we woud build our early relationship in marriage ..

Now issue is dat My wife doesnt like d idea when my parent come see me in my home, alwayz grummble, she doesn have a close relationship wit my mom, mom is alwayz sad about this..I ve been married for 5years now, ma kids ve only visited my parents for a week, anytime i bring up d idea of dem goin to see them..we always quarell!! just last week sunday ma parents left their home so dey come take d kids for d nu year break, i ddnt tell ma wife, but she found out, it was a fight that happened ....wit her tearing my clothes.. my old man nd momma both cried seein dis, dey had to travel back dat evening seein dat my so called wife ddnt welcome dem in my home, Dis is just d little i can narrate !!

I have two kids now, i kinda hate having a second child wit her, now am thinking divorce, which i dnt want to, tried to b patient, but its like shez getting evil advice from sumplaces everyday, how many years more does my parents ve on earth dat i wont make dem happy at least to be wit their grandkids!! at first i thought dis was normal, or is it a normal thing for mothers to cling to their child dat way?? maybe am too soft on her!! sigh i wish i never married her d first place, i only wanted to rewrite my mistake by marryin her.

riadrims: It has nothing to do with his parents! She lacks training. What is marriage in the first instant? I am a lawyer by training and don't see how kidnapping comes into play. If she wasn't in agreement on that day,there are better ways of handling it without involving his parents. Was the@ op right? NO,he tried to be high handed but it backfired. Am happy,she has kids. May her in laws treat her the way she treats her in laws now. I tire for some women!

ednut1: until we hear her version no comment

TechWalker007:
Op, there goes your problem and you don't seem to recognize it.
You are trying to compensate your parents with your kids and that scares her to death!
Stop trying to do that, rather seek to build a happy family and your parents should be happy with that if they are not selfish.
I feel you have a good family in your parents but you need to take out this idea of "sacrificing" your kids to your parents.
I repeat, a woman who doesn't guard her kids jealously does not worth being a mother.
She may have gone too far with the disrespect but a woman will always be emotional!
Your parents should help you build a family of yours not seek to raise your kids because they had one.
Do you expect your wife to smile at that?
I personally do not take shii from a lady but I am not going to support you with this idea of compensating your parents with your kids.

Ibusho: my brother, if ur enemy get involve in an accident or has a serious illness, I bet u she will pack d children and run away but ur family will not leave u. U need to correct this before its too late. lf u loose ur grip as d head of d family then ur in for more insult from her. I do let my wife knows that without my family there is no me so den no born am well make e put mouth or even advice me on my extended family issues.

As much as those children bears ur surname they are ur property and u have 100% right over them. Take charge.

apache77:
Lol....am not d violent kinda guy sweerie..i hav neva hit a woma before and since dat day,i hav neva hit any one either.
I dont like aggressive people either- once i notice you r d aggressibe type either in speech or behaviour i pull away.
That said a mans got to do wat a mans gotta do- not all problems hav text book solutions...and am certainly not d type to stay awake wondering wat could work and wat would not- life is too short to indulge in such
You see-my wife(girlfriend den) was very refractive, and reason was- i was too gentle in relatin wit her. Infact friends often said i was afraid of her or like my elder brother, on one of his visits once said - you are like a lamb being led to the slaughter.'
She could talk to me n wag a finger in my eye, she could tell me very rudely to leave her prescence, and did i say zhe slapped me once?
Am not given to extremes of emotions be it either extreme love or extreme anger- just in d middle so i neva ever raised my voice on her.
She thought that was all der was to me- till that fateful night- and the course of our relationship changed.
We were many chasin her then- i am not her tribe. I wasnt d richest guy chasin her den....i was d youngest..and the d dat had the least materially. Plus i was thd last guy to cum into the picture- plus i beat her...wat no one else dared do.
Yet she is married to me now and we r happy happy..i dont hav even one complain about her conduct and even till today people still say i fear my wife too much.
Did i beat her into submission? Nope. It took us months to settle dat issue but we did and everyone knew their place- my obligationz and her place in d union
She needed a hiding and i had to giv it to her. It was a manual reset and it worked n we r good. Is she waitin for her pound of flesh? Nope- she even tries harder than me to make d marriage work n once a woman puts in effort in marriage, it works moreso as she is even drawing closer n closer to God.
I see her effort and i try as much as possible to be a good husband. Have i ever shouted on her ever since den? She hardly gives me cause to and wen am.annoyed, i simply leave d house.
And wen i do, she kws shes not seein me dat night till after work the next day. So she tries very hard not to upset me and i do try to reward her good attitude by behaving myself.
A woman who does not give u any problems, ehy would you as d man become d agent the provocatuer?
Everything stated wit dat manual reset- and beating told her who d boss was..and we r good.
It worked for me- doesnt mean it will work for d next man tho