TechWalker007:

Op, there goes your problem and you don't seem to recognize it.
You are trying to compensate your parents with your kids and that scares her to death!
Stop trying to do that, rather seek to build a happy family and your parents should be happy with that if they are not selfish.
I feel you have a good family in your parents but you need to take out this idea of "sacrificing" your kids to your parents.
I repeat, a woman who doesn't guard her kids jealously does not worth being a mother.

She may have gone too far with the disrespect but a woman will always be emotional!
Your parents should help you build a family of yours not seek to raise your kids because they had one.
Do you expect your wife to smile at that?
I personally do not take shii from a lady but I am not going to support you with this idea of compensating your parents with your kids.

riadrims: It has nothing to do with his parents! She lacks training. What is marriage in the first instant? I am a lawyer by training and don't see how kidnapping comes into play. If she wasn't in agreement on that day,there are better ways of handling it without involving his parents. Was the@ op right? NO,he tried to be high handed but it backfired. Am happy,she has kids. May her in laws treat her the way she treats her in laws now. I tire for some women!

TechWalker007:

Have you ever seen how a common hen become bold towards man once it has chicks?
Same for Dogs and other animals. Mothers naturally guard their children with their life.
It's something every true man should crave in a wife (mother of his children).

I am not saying the kids shouldn't visit the op's parents but it seems the op has constantly pushed for his parents to have custody of their kids and she may now be scared.

Lordlexyy: Men like you spew rubbish because your parents means nothing to you. What's wrong with granny having a feel of their grand children? Denying the grand parents of the man the affection of their grand children and allowing her parents access to them, is gross wickedness. You bear your family name, and as such, your kids first and formost belong to that family where you hail from. Having your parents around your kids doesn't prevent you from building a happy home or family. You sound like one bewitched by his wife to have lost identity.

apache77:
u r in trouble bro...kick her asz out....you are not being firm..
my wife, wen we were dating was very refractive- as in very stubborn. i could come to see her and she will tell me get out- boota- it was dat bad. One night wen we had issues, and i was trying to stop her from stomping away in anger, she slapped me. I just held her and didnt even vex. she later put it down to being tipsy. i forgot the issue and just hung in der, swallowing all the shitt she handed down for years.....
till one fateful night in 2009 wen she misbehaved, while we were out.

I descended on her so brutally while a friend was driving us back home, she opened the door of the fast moving car to jump down- it would hav been manslaughter.We had to stop, i beat the hell out of her she crawled under the car and more than two dozen cars had to crowd round us cos people following thought it was a kidnap attempt. That was five years ago.

But since that day, the lose screw in her head tightened back and she has been very pliable, very amenable now. We are married now and no issues- she is the most humble wife you can think of- and i dont threaten her or try to lord over her- no. Just a loving relationship, but she has it at the back of her mind, this her husband can be a beast if he decides to.

She initially never liked my own friends and people around me- just her own people and friends- but now the tide has changed- its more my people around us now and my friends and no one complains- she always has a nice demeanour towards everyone. Matter of fact, as I speak, she is not just in family home, two cities away, but has even followed my mum to our village home- they have a great relationsnhip and I am happy.

This was a very very refractive woman who made our relationship hell- of all of us who dated it was difficult for any one man to get a handle on her, but I have tamed her and we have a wonderful relationship. Infact, right now, she is the one putting in all the effort to make the marriage work while I just cross my legs and watch her in amusement.

I think the single most decisive moment in our relationship was that fateful night 3years into our relationship when i beat the hell out of her- that singular moment turned the tables and told her i was firmly in charge.

You may need your own decisive moment too, to save your marriage...and your sanity, if its not too late already

Haunted:

Mr I take pride in being a murderer, I can't believe you just typed this.. You mean you beat your wife to be to the extent that It could have been man slaughter and you are advocating the same thing here?

The only way you could prove yourself as a man in your relationship was to almost kill someone else's daughter? It is very pathetic to read that you take so much pride in this violent act you committed. She misbehaved again, probably slapped you again, but did you have to go to the extent of beating the hell out of her in a moving car?? Why didn't you just return the slap and let her go forever? You weren't married to her yet, were you?

I guess you are happy and you feel manly thet your wife lives in fear, knowing at the back of her mind that her husband can be a beast anytime she misbehaves?

pathetic is not that he typed it , pathetic is that he had that many likes.May God not allow it happen ,

Would you beat your troublesome\wayward daughter or son to this state just to prove you are the father?


Op, for your own good, do not follow this guy's 'decisive moment advice', you could end up behind bars or hung to death...

Marriage is not a do or die affair, if you can not fix it after several genuine attempts, get out of it.

Haunted:

Mr I take pride in being a murderer, I can't believe you just typed this.. You mean you beat your wife to be to the extent that It could have been man slaughter and you are advocating the same thing here?

The only way you could prove yourself as a man in your relationship was to almost kill someone else's daughter? It is very pathetic to read that you take so much pride in this violent act you committed. She misbehaved again, probably slapped you again, but did you have to go to the extent of beating the hell out of her in a moving car?? Why didn't you just return the slap and let her go forever? You weren't married to her yet, were you?

I guess you are happy and you feel manly thet your wife lives in fear, knowing at the back of her mind that her husband can be a beast anytime she misbehaves?


pathetic is not that he typed it , pathetic is that he had that many likes
Would you beat your troublesome\wayward daughter or son to this state just to prove you are the father?


Op, for your own good, do not follow this guy's 'decisive moment advice', you could end up behind bars or hung to death...

Marriage is not a do or die affair, if you can not fix it after several genuine attempts, get out of it.

debetmx: Don't sleep in that house again before she cut your blokos.

apache77:
u r in trouble bro...kick her asz out....you are not being firm..
my wife, wen we were dating was very refractive- as in very stubborn. i could come to see her and she will tell me get out- boota- it was dat bad. One night wen we had issues, and i was trying to stop her from stomping away in anger, she slapped me. I just held her and didnt even vex. she later put it down to being tipsy. i forgot the issue and just hung in der, swallowing all the shitt she handed down for years.....
till one fateful night in 2009 wen she misbehaved, while we were out.

I descended on her so brutally while a friend was driving us back home, she opened the door of the fast moving car to jump down- it would hav been manslaughter.We had to stop, i beat the hell out of her she crawled under the car and more than two dozen cars had to crowd round us cos people following thought it was a kidnap attempt. That was five years ago.

But since that day, the lose screw in her head tightened back and she has been very pliable, very amenable now. We are married now and no issues- she is the most humble wife you can think of- and i dont threaten her or try to lord over her- no. Just a loving relationship, but she has it at the back of her mind, this her husband can be a beast if he decides to.

She initially never liked my own friends and people around me- just her own people and friends- but now the tide has changed- its more my people around us now and my friends and no one complains- she always has a nice demeanour towards everyone. Matter of fact, as I speak, she is not just in family home, two cities away, but has even followed my mum to our village home- they have a great relationsnhip and I am happy.

This was a very very refractive woman who made our relationship hell- of all of us who dated it was difficult for any one man to get a handle on her, but I have tamed her and we have a wonderful relationship. Infact, right now, she is the one putting in all the effort to make the marriage work while I just cross my legs and watch her in amusement.

I think the single most decisive moment in our relationship was that fateful night 3years into our relationship when i beat the hell out of her- that singular moment turned the tables and told her i was firmly in charge.

You may need your own decisive moment too, to save your marriage...and your sanity, if its not too late already

apache77:
u r in trouble bro...kick her asz out....you are not being firm..
my wife, wen we were dating was very refractive- as in very stubborn. i could come to see her and she will tell me get out- boota- it was dat bad. One night wen we had issues, and i was trying to stop her from stomping away in anger, she slapped me. I just held her and didnt even vex. she later put it down to being tipsy. i forgot the issue and just hung in der, swallowing all the shitt she handed down for years.....
till one fateful night in 2009 wen she misbehaved, while we were out.

I descended on her so brutally while a friend was driving us back home, she opened the door of the fast moving car to jump down- it would hav been manslaughter.We had to stop, i beat the hell out of her she crawled under the car and more than two dozen cars had to crowd round us cos people following thought it was a kidnap attempt. That was five years ago.

But since that day, the lose screw in her head tightened back and she has been very pliable, very amenable now. We are married now and no issues- she is the most humble wife you can think of- and i dont threaten her or try to lord over her- no. Just a loving relationship, but she has it at the back of her mind, this her husband can be a beast if he decides to.

She initially never liked my own friends and people around me- just her own people and friends- but now the tide has changed- its more my people around us now and my friends and no one complains- she always has a nice demeanour towards everyone. Matter of fact, as I speak, she is not just in family home, two cities away, but has even followed my mum to our village home- they have a great relationsnhip and I am happy.

This was a very very refractive woman who made our relationship hell- of all of us who dated it was difficult for any one man to get a handle on her, but I have tamed her and we have a wonderful relationship. Infact, right now, she is the one putting in all the effort to make the marriage work while I just cross my legs and watch her in amusement.

I think the single most decisive moment in our relationship was that fateful night 3years into our relationship when i beat the hell out of her- that singular moment turned the tables and told her i was firmly in charge.

You may need your own decisive moment too, to save your marriage...and your sanity, if its not too late already

ladyinred: New things I've learnt today abt marriage, based on the OP and some comments on here,
1. when 2 consenting adults hv s*x without protectn and sum1 ends up pregnant, d girl was trying 2 trap d guy into marriage all along.
2. for some men, when it comes 2 family, wives don't count: it's jst their parents, children and siblings.
3. for those men magnanimous enuf 2 think of their wives as family, said wives r d least important members of d family, and ofcourse replaceable.
4. ur mother must always come b4 ur wife- always strive 2 make mummy happy even at wifey's xpense: never mind abt ur wife. she doesn't count anyway.
5. it's ok for u and ur parents 2 decide where ur kids live and where they shld spend their holidays without informing d kids' mother b4 hand. Reason? Refer to 4.
6. a husband is d commander-in-chief of his wife: anything he says, goes. No arguments. Absolute obedience is required from Wifey at all times.
7. any wife dat 4gets her place and shows her humanity, is a witch.
8. if ur wife starts saying no to certain things u do, or starts having a mind of her own and stops being ur doormat, u've 2 show her who's d boss.
9. start by scolding and threatening her. if that doesn't wrk, corporal punishment is required: Slapping, kicking, flogging, punching and back-flipping are all viable options. Just make sure she gets d message. Beat her to submission.
10. when u're bored with 9, throw her out of ur house. Afterall, she's disposable.
Happy married life, people!

adeola_drg: Men can fall my hand sha..

opetu: .Am not the perfect husband i knw , I have my flaws!!!

opetu: i begin to wonda if dis babe is using jazz

devour129: trust me that's what she is doing ! It's crazy but I fear for that guy