~Sauron~:

Of course.
With the number of potential stalkers in pursuit. . . .I can actually say i am over-tolerant.
Stilly, u need to stop your zero-tolerance policy.

And if I don't?
Over tolerant? What a laugh!!!

stillwater:

And if I don't?
Over tolerant? What a laugh!!!

If u don't?? Well. . . . . . .U know the answer to that.
The more u run, the more they pursue you.
U gotta stop running and deal with ur issues.

You are not serious. Area boy

stillwater:

You are not serious. Area boy

Area boys have different categories.
Mine comes with a high degree of CLASS!!!
Jealous??

~Sauron~:

Area boys have different categories.
Mine comes with a high degree of CLASS!!!
Jealous??

Copycat!!!

stillwater:

Copycat!!!

Stalker!!!!

~Sauron~:

Stalker!!!!

Dwarf

@osisi
I saw this thread very late last night. So who Caribbean nurse was hitting on your man?  . Hitting on men is something that happens irrespective of race. By the way, I read somewhere that caribbean women don't keep their husbands. Who needs burden? We werent raised to stay in mess and work it out all in the name of marriage. If things are working out, dump and move on . Just a difference in culture I guess.

@ codered
African American and Caribbean women are so uninhibited.
They don't even know how to pretend small.
maybe difference in culture like you said
They can snatch your man right infront  of you if care is not taken.
Yes a surgical nurse chased and chased my man and flatly came out and told him what she was going to do to him in bed.

A Nigerian woman won't be that vocal
Neither would a Nigerian kid walk up to a man and tell him his mother admires him
And you're right our women seem to "endure abuse" more than Caribbeans and AA women.
One may also say our women would go to lengths to make a marriage work.
And that's not always a good thing if the man doesn't feel the same

stillwater:

Dwarf

Lol. . . . . .This is the 8th wonder of the world.
Stilly is sulking and stalking. . . . . .

~Sauron~:

Lol. . . . . .This is the 8th wonder of the world.
Stilly is sulking and stalking. . . . . .

Don't flatter yourself. It's suprising how you can't see it's just the usual case of paranoia on your part. Bite me!!!

stillwater:

Don't flatter yourself. It's suprising how you can't see it's just the usual case of paranoia on your part. Bite me!!!

I have never been paranoid. . . . .Men with self-confidence don't have paranoia. . . .
Who can hurt me?? What can hurt me??
Stilly, don't make me bash ur freckled nose with a claw hammer.

plus_Queen:

Yes a surgical nurse chased and chased my man and flatly came out and told him what she was going to do to him in bed.

shameless.

yet they wonder why they cant stay in one house.

half sister and brothers all over the place esp Jamos

~Sauron~:

I have never been paranoid. . . . .Men with self-confidence don't have paranoia. . . .
Who can hurt me?? What can hurt me??
Stilly, don't make me bash ur freckled nose with a claw hammer.

Should I be scared? I'll bash you senseless with my fist. I don't need a claw hammer to produce the desired effect.

@ topic

Tolerance would make you go mad.

stillwater:

Should I be scared? I'll bash you senseless with my fist. I don't need a claw hammer to produce the desired effect.

What are you?? Uma Thurman or Lucy Liu??

@ topic

Tolerance would make you go mad.

I agree. . . . .There's a limit to what a woman can belly.
Meanwhile, don't u think women are worse with stalking than men?
Theirs come with a degree of seduction.

One fine Sunday morning of April 1999, I came upon one dark-skinned young woman of about 19 -20 yrs coming back from Sunday morning mass. I had ran into her about a couple of times earlier but lacked the "proper liver" to toast her. But on that fateful Sunday morning, I threw caution the winds and "helloed" the young woman. The babe just "bone" me but I followed her till she got to her street and quietly told me that she would appreciate if I can go back now which I did. Somehow I knew I liked that girl.

For a period that spanned 3 years in which I did my NYSC and got a small job somewhere, I was still "chasing" this same girl and she kept telling me she wasn't interested. I knew what I wanted and had a serious plan towards achieving that and figured she has a very integral part of that plan. I think I got the biggest break when I got her mail address. For more than 6 months she never replied any of my short mails. Then one evening I was checking my mail and there it was - her mail - a chat request asking me to come chat with her. Who am I to refuse such a golden opportunity? In one of our chats she gave me her phone number and told me I could call anytime.

The gist is that she did most of these things you guys suggested to scare a guy off except maybe the HIV, 3 months prego, expensive stuff (she didn't ask for a dime). Sometimes I do give up reminding myself that she wasn't the only girl around, but believe me, none other girl gives me that kind of "rush" I get any of the very few times she "decides" to take my call. Sometimes she just let her phone ring and ring and ring. But l continued calling and calling.

There was no day that I didnt call her at least 5 times for nothing less than 5 months straight. Somehow, we started talking, and yes we started dating. To date this woman took me 4 years from the day I first "rushed" her that Sunday morning. That was in 2003.

Well, we are married now, May 26th 2007 in PHC (a double wedding cos her immediate elder sister wedded that same day too)and now we have a Son, Prince Chibueze (don't worry about his surname) and believe me that I have never for once regretted ever taking those shits from her.

And you say perseverance does not pay? Brothers, if u see babe wey u like, please do the RIGHT THING JAREEE!!!!

Yes a surgical nurse chased and chased my man and flatly came out and told him what she was going to do to him in bed.

hmm osisi's man must be one handsome dude

THE BEST WAY TO SCARE HIM AWAY IS----GO TO HIS MORE OFTEN, EACH TIME TRY AND GET NAKED FOR HIM. I BET U HE WILL NEVER EVER DISTURB U AGAIN, .

plus_Queen:

You sound exactly like me.
when I heard that,I was like
hmm!
so what green lights did you show before this woman said this.

I didnt oo, I befriended them a few years ago and the wife became very close to me. ( remembered the incident I relayed regarding the white garment thingy?) Anyways, over time he became very friendly with me. Now I dont blame him. If you see me you will too . I think I was a bit naive too, when he began complimenting everything I wore. Well he came right out and told me we could "move mountains" (whatever that meant) . I told him I am going to pretend, for his own good, the incident never happened and if it repeated itself i am going to his wife. Sure as hell, he did and I went to her. But the poor woman, unemployed , pregnant with 3rd child had no choice I guess.
Now a caribbean woman would have evicted him, divorced him whether her belly was at her throat and moved on, Thus the half sisters and brothers,

It's bad to stay on and endure an abusive marriage but I also believe the more industrialized nations like yours with more "liberated" women quit too soon sometimes.
Personally I wouldn't leave my husband for flirting.
I don't even know if I'll leave if he cheated once and was repentant (he better not hear this)
Everyone is entitled to at least one mistake (I think)
but if it's habitual or he has no remorse
that's it
It's over
and I'm not marrying after that.
I give myself only one chance at marriage
If it's death,maybe I'll remarry
but divorce,no way.
I don't have the strength to "train another man"
LOL

plus_Queen:

It's bad to stay on and endure an abusive marriage but I also believe the more industrialized nations like yours with more "liberated" women quit too soon sometimes.
Personally I wouldn't leave my husband for flirting.
I don't even know if I'll leave if he cheated once and was repentant (he better not hear this)
Everyone is entitled to at least one mistake (I think)
but if it's habitual or he has no remorse
that's it
It's over
and I'm not marrying after that.
I give myself only one chance at marriage
If it's death,maybe I'll remarry
but divorce,no way.
I don't have the strength to "train another man"
LOL

and may u not loose ur husband prematurely

Amen my dear.
May we retire with millions in our fifties and live our Golden years in good health to God's glory
If I had to marry again today,I'll marry the same man over and over again.
He is good to me
Do you feel the same way about what I said regarding remarriage?
God forbid Mr Kadry runs off with some dumb blonde will you get back in the marital market?

mba ooooo,really i don't see myself marrying again,u know its like building all over again,i don't think i will have d strength to build again,ive exhausted all in this one,can't see myself doing it again

plus_Queen:

It's bad to stay on and endure an abusive marriage but I also believe the more industrialized nations like yours with more "liberated" women quit too soon sometimes.
Personally I wouldn't leave my husband for flirting.
I don't even know if I'll leave if he cheated once and was repentant (he better not hear this)
Everyone is entitled to at least one mistake (I think)
but if it's habitual or he has no remorse
that's it
It's over
and I'm not marrying after that.
I give myself only one chance at marriage
If it's death,maybe I'll remarry
but divorce,no way.
I don't have the strength to "train another man"
LOL

I must admit just for this write-up I commend you.  I feel the same way too, and as a result getting involved once burnt has become very difficult. I have seen my mom stuck by my dad even when we were seeing our "twins" around the town. Many nights she would go out looking for him. We would asked why the hell didnt she throw him out since she has been working all her life and never depended on him for anything. Her reason was "it's for better or worse" I think My eldest sisters somehow adopted that mentality. Me? I dont think I can or I will oo. I am not saying I will divorce my husband if he cheats, afterall, it's in their DNA. I will however, stick around and help him work on it and if it remains an issue then I will take steps. I wont front I am not condone abuse in any form.  My level of tolerance has improved with age, but I still have that lil bit of "me" inside.

And your last statement had me lol, Trained, like a dog right?

CodeRED:

I must admit just for this write-up I commend you.  I feel the same way too, and as a result getting involved once burnt has become very difficult. I have seen my mom stuck by my dad even when we were seeing our "twins" around the town. Many nights she would go out looking for him. We would asked why the hell didnt she throw him out since she has been working all her life and never depended on him for anything. Her reason was "it's for better or worse" I think My eldest sisters somehow adopted that mentality. Me? I don't think I can or I will oo. I am not saying I will divorce my husband if he cheats, afterall, it's in their DNA. I will however, stick around and help him work on it and if it remains an issue then I will take steps. I wont front I am not condone abuse in any form.  My level of tolerance has improved with age, but I still have that little bit of "me" inside.

And your last statement had me lol, Trained, like a dog right?

Thank you.
The things women go through to keep a home together.
I used to look at divorced women with disdain until I got married.
There's no married woman who hasn't  at some times esp in the early years thought about just getting in an airplane and leaving and never coming back.
I am being very frank
Marriage is not a bed of roses.
It takes hardwork
It takes a while to adjust to being married and blending in that union.
After the church ceremony,the real marriage begins.
Thankfully my husband has the fear of the Lord in him and I believe that helps.

Danke:

mba ooooo,really i don't see myself marrying again,u know its like building all over again,i don't think i will have d strength to build again,ive exhausted all in this one,can't see myself doing it again

My sentiments exactly.
God forbid but anyday you hear I'm divorced,just pray that God should chase away all sexual desires from me since I don't want to go fornicating up and down because as for remarriage, no way.
This is it.
And I'm determined to give it all I gat
I will not be building this tower again

plus_Queen:

Thank you.
The things women go through to keep a home together.
I used to look at divorced women with disdain until I got married.
There's no married woman who hasn't  at some times esp in the early years thought about just getting in an airplane and leaving and never coming back.
I am being very frank
Marriage is not a bed of roses.
It takes hardwork
It takes a while to adjust to being married and blending in that union.
After the church ceremony,the real marriage begins.
Thankfully my husband has the fear of the Lord in him and I believe that helps.

Last statement first, I have learnt that some dont have any such spirit in them . But on a more serious note, I believe too many women run into relationships without first consulting God, then when things go bad, then we remember, Oh! let me go to HIM,

I know marriage is hard work. AFterall, I almost made that change a few years ago. Looking back now I still wonder what it would have been like. What amazes me, however, is how some women do it.  My eldest sister I think had it easy. She married at 19, to a young man who was in Bible school and now pastor's one of the biggest Nazarene churches in NYC, And even with his faith came trouble.  Apparantly before he got saved at 22, he used to date someone else and she got pregnant and NEVER mentioned a word to him.

He was diagnosed with prostrate cancer last year and was schedule for surgery. He said this women kept appearing to him. She still resided in the island. He somehow got her contact and touched base. He questioned her as to what she is hiding. Then the woman broke down and told him her 28r old daughter is his.
Now many in the church chastised him and pleaded with my sister to leave him. But she stuck to her husband. I honestly believe he didnt know. They have been married for 26 yrs with 2 grown children.

As you said, marriage is indeed hard work. A task I am not sure I am destined for,

plus_Queen:

My sentiments exactly.
God forbid but anyday you hear I'm divorced,just pray that God should chase away all sexual desires from me since I don't want to go fornicating up and down because as for remarriage, no way.
This is it.
And I'm determined to give it all I gat
I will not be building this tower again

naaa divorcd what will happen to those kids,no way woman,ur marriage will be fulfilled to d last ojare

but seriously i agree wt u,u know before marriage i had a long chat wt my mum sm nights and this woman told me sthg she said"marriage is like a gift wrapped and well covered,u don't know what is inside that gift until u open it,and that gift can only be opened when one is married,and watever u see,u take"

u know and many other things,which i have applied in this whole marriage,i have applied all i know,all my mama tot me,all ive reead,all ive seen,ive read and exhausted my whole brain,so where will start from if I'm told to remarry?

Danke:

naaa divorcd what will happen to those kids,no way woman,ur marriage will be fulfilled to d last ojare

but seriously i agree wt u,u know before marriage i had a long chat wt my mum sm nights and this woman told me sthg she said"marriage is like a gift wrapped and well covered,u don't know what is inside that gift until u open it,and that gift can only be opened when one is married,and watever u see,u take"
u know and many other things,which i have applied in this whole marriage,i have applied all i know,all my mama tot me,all ive reead,all ive seen,ive read and exhausted my whole brain,so where will start from if I'm told to remarry?

OSANOBUA!!
are you sure we don't have the same mother?
There's a saying in Igboland that a marriage comes with 7 wrapped marriages (ngwugwu)
and every year, a package in unwrapped until the seventh year
and if the marriage can suvive 7 years,it will last forever.

Actually that Igbo saying like all things African is sexist.
They actually say the woman comes with 7 packages and unwraps one ngwugwu per year.
how sexist

Oya now that we're on the topic of Jamaicans and Islanders and men in general including Nigerians
One black man almost caused me to spill his balls on a moving train
I'm trying to change the tone and inject humor but this story is true.
The man in a crowded train pressed his "abunna" firmly on my body
and when there were bumps on the ride,he jumped up and down so excitedly
and even kept jumping after the bumps were gone.
I shoved my umbrella between us and he got the message.
He should thank his "stars" I didn't do what came to my mind to do with that umbrella.

_{I've told this story before,I know}

plus_Queen:

Oya now that we're on the topic of Jamaicans and Islanders and men in general including Nigerians
One black man almost caused me to spill his balls on a moving train
I'm trying to change the tone and inject humor but this story is true.
The man in a crowded train pressed his "abunna" firmly on my body
and when there were bumps on the ride,he jumped up and down so excitedly
and even kept jumping after the bumps were gone.
I shoved my umbrella between us and he got the message.
He should thank his "stars" I didn't do what came to my mind to do with that umbrella.

_{I've told this story before,I know}

I am beginning to think you 'secretly' have a liking for dem island men now, Mr  Osisi better watch his ass

plus_Queen:

Oya now that we're on the topic of Jamaicans and Islanders and men in general including Nigerians
One black man almost caused me to spill his balls on a moving train
I'm trying to change the tone and inject humor but this story is true.
The man in a crowded train pressed his "abunna" firmly on my body
and when there were bumps on the ride,he jumped up and down so excitedly
and even kept jumping after the bumps were gone.
I shoved my umbrella between us and he got the message.
He should thank his "stars" I didn't do what came to my mind to do with that umbrella.

_{I've told this story before,I know}

Ewww

osisi if it is dat bakasii i saw d other day on ur pic,then i dont balme d man for wanting to feel it ojare

who no like better thing,it was not meant for mr nwando alone abeg