Una no dey sleep @ all?

misspicy:

na today you know say woman done suffer for OP's hand
when a man sees a woman as less than nothing what do you expect,the low self esteemed ones too be shouting yes yes when they got nothing to offer a man,all they do is cry for love.
I can see them screaming it all over the thread

Love is a two way thing,I know how I feel when I don't love a guy and he loves me to the heavens,I can't manage a marriage,I'd rather not marry
and its fallacy to say women will develop love for a man after marriage,sometimes its even the other way round from practical examples I have seen,a man who does not love a woman initially finds it easier to fall in love for her if she does things that he really likes but for a woman,she will just be managing a guy who loves her more than she does and thats why you see some women treating their husband like _shit ,sending him on errands,a lady even wrote a thread about how she doesn't like the way her husband over loved her and wouldn't correct her,how he always tries to please her,now this lady is saying she doesn't love him and she is feeling bad about it,etc

Can Seun pleae make a section on nairaland for the 30plus or married?

I really need a place to start posting my threads.

I think that's the truth

skywalker240:




OP pls face reality for f**k sake
in this country No lady wants the ugly,handsome,tall,short and even the biggest an fattest d*ck broke nigga, they are going ga ga for the rich only...be it ugly,short,foolish,small joystick

Thats y many them ar stil single @ 35
The thing about them is just money money money
I knw uve seen girls crazy about their bea but at d end of the day when dey see some1 more contained(let me use dat word) they leaves their bea
its just like dis no money no serious women
And we know what d country is like.

Dude i already know this but in this particular situation,the money is totaly inconsequential and even if she feels the money is her numero uno,we have seen many cases of rich wives having romance with drivers,PAs and so on and if you ask these ladies,their stories are usually alike.

Toks2008:


Can Seun pleae make a section on nairaland for the 30plus or married?

I really need a place to start posting my threads.

LMAO


seun please you need to grant this man's request,he is the one sponsoring your forum
LMAO kwakwakwakwakwa kwakwakwakwakwa

JustOzito:

op I am in such dilemma. I have been in love with this guy for more than 4yrs but d highest he has done is to stare at me. I have guys that has good intention coming for me but I always ignore them hoping and praying that one day my crush might look @me and profess his love. A friend advised me to approach him but I can't see myself doing that. how do I get over this guy? by d way am in my finals

Without sounding myopic,i dont believe in school romance so snap out of it,

But on the contrary if you still want to give it a go judging by the fcat that 2 out of 10 tend to work out then try showing him vivid green lights but if he does not catch the drift then he is not worth the stress.

Toks2008:


Dude i already know this but in this particular situation,the money is totaly inconsequential and even if she feels the money is her numero uno,we have seen many cases of rich wives having romance with drivers,PAs and so on and if you ask these ladies,their stories are usually alike.

Thats true sha i admit...women are not ever satisfied with anything even if the guy is rich,good in bed,has a large joystick and very caring and protective of her..

I rest my case
But experience is the father of wisdom.

i dont know why you know everything bout women and relationshiips yet still single at your age.
irony of life

Toks, you have come again. I don't think a man in love should marry or date a lady who doesn't have strong affection for him. I have been in such relationships before and I know how it crushes the soul to love a woman who doesn't think you are the best thing that happened to her. She would take advantage of you and frustrate you until you breakup.

Love should be mutual. Ladies can be vicious when they know you love them deeply.

Nnemuka:
i dont know why you know everything bout women and relationshiips yet still single at your age.
irony of life

Lol. That's hitting below the belt.

Anyway, maybe he knows ladies so well that he dreads a lifetime with one of them. Fear women. They are dangerous.

To the OP,

nice write up, I understand your point exactly. I would love to add that.. you shouldn't marry someone who doesn't love you with the hopes that your love will show them the way... thats movie type stuff, and not the stuff reality is made of. The potential that time will even kill the love you have for her is much greater. Where did you throw the famous saying "If you truly love her, you set her free". Love is a two way highway, where there are more lanes on the mans side than the woman's. the same advice here goes for the men too... why do you overlook the not so good-looking girl who is all over you because you're in love with the hot girl who doesn't have your time.

BTW
Always have a set standard, whether MAN or WOMAN

if you want a rich man, by all means wait for what you want.
we live in a demand based society,

If you truly LOVE her like you claim you do... you will raise yourself to meet her standards, not tell her to lower her standards for you

if she wants a Car, get it and prove to her that you make her dreams come true and no other man will exist before her eyes

Single here

AfroKnight:
Toks, you have come again. I don't think a man in love should marry or date a lady who doesn't have strong affection for him. I have been in such relationships before and I know how it crushes the soul to love a woman who doesn't think you are the best thing that happened to her. She would take advantage of you and frustrate you until you breakup.

Love should be mutual. Ladies can be vicious when they know you love them deeply.

Bro trust me, she wil be counting her loss right now.

Experience is always the best teacher.

harbarzzy:
how old are Ada? By the time you are 40 then you will begin to feel the senses in this write up.

Stale...

I understand what the OPs saying. Even the Bible commands men to love their wives, but then only says to the women to respect their husbands (not love). So I guess that means that the man's love is the most important in marriage and not the woman's. I guess

FemiFaniKayode:


how old are you?
Love should be a competition with both parties striving for the top it can and will NEVER be equal.

Christ the epitome and greatest example of love do you live him as much as he loves you?

I'm old enough.

Your perspective is an angle I've never heard from anyone. Interesting.

Nnemuka:
i dont know why you know everything bout women and relationshiips yet still single at your age.
irony of life

He is actually very experienced. He has been in the arena before.

Ishilove:

He is actually very experienced. He has been in the arena before.

keep quiet

Nnemuka:
i dont know why you know everything bout women and relationshiips yet still single at your age.
irony of life

AfroKnight:

Lol. That's hitting below the belt.
Anyway, maybe he knows ladies so well that he dreads a lifetime with one of them. Fear women. They are dangerous.

LOL!

What many of you do not know is that yes i was technically married for 5years so when i give relationship advice,i do so as one with vast experience and one needs not be happily married to give a very sound advice when it comes to matters of the heart.

tpiaobsession:
Ishilove is finished for sure.

likewise whoever helped her move the thread to frontpage


cc naptu

The loose screws have begun jiggling again, shey?

Cc naptu2

bfatoba:
To the OP,

nice write up, I understand your point exactly. I would love to add that.. you shouldn't marry someone who doesn't love you with the hopes that your love will show them the way... thats movie type stuff, and not the stuff reality is made of. The potential that time will even kill the love you have for her is much greater. Where did you throw the famous saying "If you truly love her, you set her free". Love is a two way highway, where there are more lanes on the mans side than the woman's. the same advice here goes for the men too... why do you overlook the not so good-looking girl who is all over you because you're in love with the hot girl who doesn't have your time.

BTW
Always have a set standard, whether MAN or WOMAN

if you want a rich man, by all means wait for what you want.
we live in a demand based society,

If you truly LOVE her like you claim you do... you will raise yourself to meet her standards, not tell her to lower her standards for you

if she wants a Car, get it and prove to her that you make her dreams come true and no other man will exist before her eyes

The truth be told, Nigerian ladies are the most loving you can ever come accross but the economy has really dealt a big blow on them that most now sees materialism as a yardstick for love.

Love can never be bought and what many guys who flaunt money do not know is that every lady has her heart for a certain man even if he is as poor as in POOR and wil not mind to take money from a rich man to take care of that poor dude their heart throbs for.

This is very deep and that is why guys should stop believeing that money can make any lady stay with them because the truth is that money will make a lady stay with you but money will NEVER MAKE GER LOVE YOU until you really touch her emotional side not by the material gifts but by the actual acts of love.

firstking01:
Hmmm, yet another outcry for the female race...if only they will hearken to this, dunno when women will start being wise, too many write ups about them both online and offline..

The today's women love everything instantanous...

They want money intantanous..
They want husband instantanous..
They want love instantanous..
They wanna sleep and wake up on the rightside of their bed...
They want every Goddam thing instantanous...

Dear ladies, it has never worked like that before, even God created one thing after the other...the globe itself takes it's time to evolve round it's orbit, our elementary geography told us so...even nature sef takes it's time to really be natural...the sun rises from the east in the morning, and sets in the west in the evening...even the ship visibility, in our secondary school geography, if you 've witnessed a ship on the sea before, you'd realised that from afar, you'd only be seeing smoke from the exhaust pipe facing up, but gradually as the ship emerges closer, you start seeing it's full body...now, in geography of the earthcrust, we termed it as one of the proofs of the sphericity of th earth...the earth is spherical in nature like an egg and not round like orange...inother not to deviate from mr stokes thread, all i'm tryna say to our ladies is, don't be too quick to jump into conclusion cos that guy might just be the bunch of prayers you 've been praying all your life, give it time, rome was not build in a day...even as i know i'm sounding intelligent, if you see some of us physical we are so dwn to earth, you might even write us off from afar but who cares??, maybe until you are privilege to come close which we will still disguise our true identity...so, my humble plea to the ladies, try to comb a guy before you leapfrog out...cheers.

I wanna write like you.I hope it isn't late to learn.love wat u wrote

Ishilove:

The loose screws have begun jiggling again, shey?

Cc naptu2

Ishibabe so you fine like this? Just checked your profile page now..Good

ThreeGEEKS:
I understand what the OPs saying. Even the Bible commands men to love their wives, but then only says to the women to respect their husbands (not love). So I guess that means that the man's love is the most important in marriage and not the woman's. I guess

Its not as if a lady wil marry a guy she hates nah but that love thing is earned but many ladies see initial gragra as love.

You don't love someone until that person give you reason to and that is why many hot chics still go back to the spinster market shortly after the hook up with a guy.

A cute guy will make a lady believe she is in love but she latter realizes the beast in the guy and leaves. The problem is that many ladies close their eyes to guys who sre not a prototype of what they want "Physically" how vague and myopic.

Give that guy who is not your spec a little chance and see how it plays out and you just might slap yourself in tye nearest future for almost missing such a great package simply because you were crushing or fantasizing over that hot cocky dude who feels he is too hot to love and cherish one lady.

Toks2008:

My unbiased conclusion is that if a lady marries a man that truly loves and cherishes her,SHE IS COMPLETE IN MARRIAGE but if a lady marries a man she loves and feels so crazy about but does not truly loves or desires her,SHE IS MARITALLY FINISHED .

What are you talking about? Whichever way you look at it, you can only pray for it to work.







Click on my signature below for advanced vehicle diagnostics in ABUJA.

cardoctor:



What are you talking about? Whichever way you look at it, you can only pray for it to work.







Click on my signature below for advanced vehicle diagnostics in ABUJA.

The GOD and prayer factor is important in all we do but we also have the free will to minimize "had i known"

Toks2008:


Acceptability may be a two way street but life is never designed for the feelings of love to be a two way thing.

This is a mystery too deep to decipher. Yes it will seem on the surface that both of you love each other and i guess thats where many are getting me wrong. I am not saying marry a man you hate but there is this deep desire that wells up inside us towards someone and often times this is what many people look out for before they can say they love a particular person.

As i wrote, the feelings of love between 2 people is rarely balanced and it will do a lady a great deal to have it tilted more to her side.I can't just explain this further.

Btw, you really can't decipher if a man loves you when you are also in love. In-fact the odd things and the red flags he shows will seem to be an innocent action and you keep telling yourself he loves you.

Brother, you are so much on point. I really wish the ladies of these days will get it into their head, that real love is not the feelings but a decision and commitment. They forget that what breeds feelings is just what they can see physically in the man, but good marriage requires much more than the temporal feelings that will soon fade away with time.
I'm even going through this same issue with a lady presently.

chimauk:
I wanna write like you.I hope it isn't late to learn.love wat u wrote

nope, not et'all...we learn everyday, and for the records, you can do berra than me

Toks2008:


Now let me blow your mind...
The most important mystery of love is that though we do not choose who to love as you can see yourself loving someone who is totally odd from your choice but most times, loving someone is not about feelings but a conscious decision we make and stand by it

I can't agree more; especially with the bold!

Kudos, op.

Toks2008:
I have heard many ladies say stuffs like "John loves me but i can't marry him because i have no feelings for him but I love Jude but he is just acting funny and he even told me he does not love me" but she will still continue to hope that Jude wakes up one day to start loving her while she keeps driving John away.

This is the case with many ladies loving a man who does not want or love them while neglecting or friend-zoning the serious minded dudes who sincerely want them.A happy and peaceful union is not about being with a Tall,cute,handsome,rich bla bla bla...but its about having a man who respects and sincerely wants you.

Please as a lady,you must understand that it is not every man who professes love to you is genuine and not not all the men who ask for your hand in marriage really wants you because many guys marry for different reasons.Some want unhindered sex,some just want to have children,want someone to take care of the home front or just satisfy the demands of family members so be sure to test that man to know if he really loves and wants you as a wife for the right reasons before saying yes i do to him..

I have so many lady friends who have been in and out of affairs and i can boldly make this conclusion with no fear of confrontation that for a lady to have a fulfilling marriage, it is not about how sweet looking or romantic or rich a guy is and infact the feelings of the lady towards the man as important as it may be does not guaranty a happy marriage rather it is what the man feels towards the lady that matters.

[b]Now let me blow your mind;many ladies will not agree with this but this is how women are wired. Men are visually influenced while ladies are emotionally influenced.[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]

If a woman marries a man she does not love as in no single love at all but this guy starts to show her real love and i mean treats her like a queen,i bet you that in no time, she will begin to fall in love with him even if he is a fat,short,ugly man. This is the mystery that women don't even understand just like the act of sharing a man but if you marry a guy by all means because he is a cutie,rich or for any other reasons asides from his unequivocal desire for you, trust me,by the time he treats you like a poo after marriage,that cute guy you marry will look like a beast and all the money he has will be inconsequential to you . The beauty and the beast movie is not just fiction.[/b]

My unbiased conclusion is that if a lady marries a man that truly loves and cherishes her,SHE IS COMPLETE IN MARRIAGE but if a lady marries a man she loves and feels so crazy about but does not truly loves or desires her,SHE IS MARITALLY FINISHED .

Every woman should pray to marry a man who will make them complete.

My humble personal take.

I like that part the most. To digress a little....this is the reason men cheat a lot (they see a hot babe, they want to hit it. no emotions attached. just hit it) and also the reason it is hard for a guy to forgive his babe that he caught cheating. It is also why men can't marry a babe they know they guys that fvked her or even do the dreadful...leaving her on their wedding day when he finds out she has been about town in the past.

Women on the other hand can easily forgive, once she sees or starts seeing that emotional change. The visuals will always be in a man's head.

Toks2008:


Ishibabe so you fine like this? Just checked your profile page now..Good

Thanks

godman01:

Brother, you are so much on point. I really wish the ladies of these days will get it into their head, that real love is not the feelings but a decision and commitment. They forget that what breeds feelings is just what they can see physically in the man, but good marriage requires much more than the temporal feelings that will soon fade away with time.
I'm even going through this same issue with a lady presently.

A lady once called and and was just talking about how bad her hubby have become and so on and so forth and i just asked her this question;"Does he beat you" she said NO.

I now asked her to close her eyes and think of the good side of the hubby and make up her mind to always think about that good side whenever he gets on her nerves and months latter she thanked me and agree that it was all a thing of the mind.

Getting married is a choice but staying married is a decision you must make and abide by it.There is hardly any room for lady divorcees these days cos many singles are not yet taken so think well before saying i do.

It is better never to be married than to be a divorcee and it is better to be never married at 40 than to be a divorcee at 25.